Marriage - Blogs - Black Business Women Online
2024-03-29T04:45:55Z
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/feed/tag/Marriage
MARRIAGE IS BUSINESS
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/marriage-is-business
2013-12-01T01:28:43.000Z
2013-12-01T01:28:43.000Z
SAM
https://mybbwo.com/members/SAM494
<div><p>In the movie <i>The Marriage Contract</i>, a couple receiving premarital counseling is told that they should prepare for marriage as if they were starting a new business. The goals, roles, rules, and expectations should to be clearly understood before the two parties sign on the dotted line. This is not to discount the importance of love, affection, or romance; those things matter, but in reality, two people coming together in a marriage are actually starting a joint business venture.</p><p>A marriage has to be managed, nurtured, and protected, just like a business. The two people in the marriage become the managers responsible for jointly attending to those things that keep the marriage strong and healthy. Where people mess up is that they aren’t committed to managing the marriage. They can deal with the “fun” stuff, but don’t want to deal with the “hard” stuff. Guidelines about how the marriage will operate aren't discussed. Expectations aren't expressed. When there is no commitment to manage; when there are no clearly defined rules and roles; when expectations aren’t clear, the marriage has no structure and its effectiveness diminishes.</p><p>Marriage can be one of the most fulfilling things you ever do in life. To share your days with someone who truly wants to share their days with you can bring you the most joy that you will ever experience. But if there is no commitment; if both partners aren’t “hands-on” in managing the marriage, it will soon cease to exist; just like a business.</p><p> </p><p>SoulVisionTV.com</p></div>
Episode #008 |How to Rock Your Stage by Bringing Sexy Back to Your Marriage w/ Gail Crowder
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/episode-008-how-to-rock-your-stage-by-bringing-sexy-back-to-your
2014-02-12T16:00:00.000Z
2014-02-12T16:00:00.000Z
Kenya Halliburton
https://mybbwo.com/members/KenyaHalliburton
<div><h1><a href="http://kenyahalliburton.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/rockstar-gail-crowder.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-13825" alt="Gail Crowder, Bringing Sexy Back to Marriage" src="http://kenyahalliburton.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/rockstar-gail-crowder.jpg" width="500" height="489" /></a></h1><p><br /> </p><h2><strong>Are Your Ready to Discover How to Light Up Your Stage by "Bringing Sexy Back" to Your Marriage?</strong></h2><p><br /> Well, you definitely want to listen in today as we talk with SheroEntrepreneuer & Entreprenerial Rock Star, Gail Crowder.</p><p></p><p>As you know I love, love, love discovering and speaking to brilliant, trailblazing women who are called to serve a need and fill a void and don't hesitate to answer the call to fill it. My guest today Gail Crowder is no exception.</p><h2><strong>Happy Mother, Happy Wife, Happy Home, Happy Life!</strong></h2><p><br /> To me, rocking your stage as a Married Christian Woman is about having proper balance in all areas of your life, a lesson I have learned the hard way for sure. Achieving success in your career or entrepreneurial endeavors, mean nothing if you don't have balance and fulfillment at home. So, it would seem to me that if you are someone who is married, home matters would be important. Specifically when it comes to your spouse.</p><p></p><p><strong style="font-size:14px;line-height:1.5em;">You want to listen to this conversation if you are:</strong></p><ul><li>A Married Christian Woman Entrepreneur facing challenges in your marriage that are threatening success in your entrepreneurial endeavors</li><li><strong>Looking for a way to rekindle the flames of love and intimacy in your marriage</strong></li><li>Want to be inspired by the story of trail blazing women like Gail who are called to do something great (and not always accepted), so you can find the courage to do the same</li></ul><p><br /> <strong>Because, in this inspiring and informative 39 minute conversation, you'll discover:</strong></p><ul><li>3 practical and powerful ways to not only bring sexy back to your marriage, but success in all other areas of your life</li><li>The #1 thing you should absolutely do in your marriage to secure it's success</li><li>How you can join Gail's movement and attend her events to help you reignite the spark in your marriage and success in your life</li><li>Real talk, candid and practical advice on how to navigate the challenges in your marriage that are too taboo to discuss in traditional churches or christian women conferences</li><li><span style="font-size:14px;line-height:1.5em;">And so much more...</span></li></ul><p style="text-align:center;"></p><h2 style="text-align:center;">Click Here to Listen to "How to Rock Your Stage & Bring Sexy Back to Your Marriage"</h2><p style="text-align:center;"><br /><a href="http://kenyahalliburton.com/episode-009-bringing-sexy-back-to-marriage-gail-crowder/" target="_blank">Click Here to Listen and Learn More</a><br /> <br /></p><h2 style="text-align:center;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/BSBMarriage" target="_blank" style="font-size:13px;"> </a></h2></div>
Time to Forgive #16
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/time-to-forgive-16
2013-06-04T02:33:24.000Z
2013-06-04T02:33:24.000Z
Di Jones
https://mybbwo.com/members/DiJones
<div><p> It’s time to Let Go<br />Completely <br />From our thoughts and our heart<br />It’s time to Let Go<br />Completely<br /> So we can move forward<br />To forgive someone is sometimes easier said than done. <br />What is it to forgive someone? I have been hurt physically &amp; emotionally. It will take a lot for me to get over all the hurt that I had to endure and yet I must find a way to forgive. It is very easy to see or feel how much someone hurts us, however we may not always see or feel how much we also have hurt others. Maybe if we could understand where our hurt comes from, it would be easier to forgive. If we could find a way to let go completely we would be able to move forward. <br />My husband and I didn’t communicate to each other and that caused us both to jump to conclusions based on our past. We didn’t love ourselves enough to be honest about our own hearts and feelings. We didn’t allow ourselves to become one because we both held on to our past hurt so much. By holding onto those past hurts we let ourselves experience the hurt over and over again instead of allowing us to heal together. We were our own worst enemies. We knew we had something special because God brought us together to help each other. We knew that we had gone through the same things and therefore should be able to understand each other. We should have been able to help each other and yet we let our own feelings cause us the pain we tried so hard to avoid. My husband and I experienced a selfish -kind of hurt. I say that because we were too concerned about ourselves rather than being concerned about each other. This selfish hurt caused us to not let go and therefore, we could not move forward. The sad thing about it is that we caused our own problems by being selfish. He did not cause my hurt and I did not cause his hurt, we were both responsible for our own hurt. <br />How could we ever forgive each other if we were not willing to let go of the hurt we had built up inside ourselves? In order to forgive others we must first look in the mirror and see who we are. Are we holding onto hurt feelings and holding someone else responsible for our feelings? Everyone has a past and our past makes us who we are, however our past is just that…”our past”…it is not our future. I had to look inside myself to find what drives the force of forgiveness for me personally. I had to look within myself to find the peace in my heart that allowed me to forgive. My life consisted of many experiences which I held on to. Some of those experiences were good and some were bad. I realized that by holding on to those experiences, they had a part in developing me as a person. I choose how to categorize each experience and how to let each experience shape my life. Because, we as humans, tend to dwell on the bad or negative, I allowed those bad and negative experiences to control my inner self. I don't think we realize when we do this. I don't think we even realize that it is our choice how we live. We are in control of our self no one else can control what is in us...only we have that control. I had to realize this to understand how to forgive. My husband was not responsible for the feelings I had. Those feelings were in me long before I even met him. My feelings of insecurity, my feelings of being unloved, my feelings of having no self esteem were my choices. It was my choice to allow my feelings to be confirmed by his words or actions. It was my choice to allow him to affect my life in a negative way. What happened to me...was not me. I had always tried to live my life in a positive way. One of the main beliefs I lived by was that everything in life is a gift from God. Everything is an experience that God has allowed us to have. You do not know the reason, however at the very base we were given each experience to learn from and possibly to use to help someone else in the future who may also go through the same experience. I lost this belief, because I choose to. I was not strong enough within myself to realize what I was allowing to happen. I had to look within myself to be able to forgive myself enough to let go of the choices I kept buried in my heart. I had to let go of the bad choices I was allowing to control my life and my feelings. I had to accept that my choices are mine...no one else's. To understand the unique person that God made me to be, allowed me to not only accept myself as a beautiful creation of God, I was also able to forgive myself and accept my own choices. By accepting my self, I can accept that my husband is his own person also....an equally beautiful creation of God who was allowed his own unique choices (good or bad). In realizing this, I realized that my husband is responsible for his own choices and I don't have to allow his choice to affect me in a negative way. The story I have expressed was from my heart, however it is not a true story in that it was not only my heart that was involved. My husband went through his own types of pains and hurts. My husband was also a victim of my choices. My husband deserves the right to be who God created him to be without judgment or blame from me or anyone else. Just as I became the person I became, he also became the person he became due to his past and the very hard and unique challenges he had to experience. No one can say that either he; nor I was more or less to blame... we are who we are because God made us this way. God has a reason for each of us, that is why he created us each as a unique individual. I am blessed and able to accept and love myself and my husband as the unique and blessed people that God has created us to be. I am a perfect creation of God and so is my husband; that is the reason God brought us together… for each other. For me to forgive was to find peace within myself through Christ. To forgive I had to replace the hurt in my heart with Love.<br />I forgive because I accept the blessings God has given us as individuals.<br />Maybe to forgive others<br />means<br />to be able to forgive ourselves;<br />and now in front of the world...<br />I proclaim <br />To my Husband.....<br />Donell,<br />I forgive you!<br />Can you forgive me?<iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DVr4CW87W58?feature=player_embedded&wmode=opaque" frameborder="0"></iframe></p></div>
How to Love a Man – It Is Easier than You Think. “Showing Appreciation”
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/how-to-love-a-man-it-is-easier-than-you-think-showing
2013-04-01T18:03:17.000Z
2013-04-01T18:03:17.000Z
Cyndi Harris
https://mybbwo.com/members/CyndiHarris
<div><p><span style="color:#ff0000;"><b>“Honey, I appreciate you.”</b></span> Hearing those words can make your man feel like <b><span style="color:#ff0000;">“Superman”</span>. </b></p><p>Men show love in many ways and only a few of them are similar to ways women express love. Think about it; when we, women, are in love with someone we tend to do some of the following: </p><p>• Send romantic cards </p><p>• Feed our beloved </p><p>• Offer backrubs </p><p>• Send cute and sexy text messages </p><p>• Etc. </p><p></p><p>Our expression of love tends to be more affectionate and emotion-based: </p><p>• <span><b>Cards - </b></span>say words we may not be creative enough to say. (Warm fuzzy feelings) </p><p>• <span><b>Food - </b></span>is comforting and at times revolves around memorable events; the holidays, special occasions, and creates memories. (More warm fuzzies) </p><p>• <span><b>Backrubs - </b></span>create intimate moments that may or may not lead to passionate sexual ones. </p><p>• <span><b>Text messages - </b></span>generally, if done right, get an immediate response and create an instant connection with our beloved. </p><p></p><p>Men can express love in these ways as well, but it does not come naturally to most of them. If you currently have a man who is offering you such emotion-based tokens of love; I can almost guarantee he was taught to be expressive, in this way, by another woman; a previous romance or a great platonic friend. Possibly, by watching a male role model (Who was probably previously guided by a woman's influence as well); however it happened be thankful and be sure to encourage him <strong>(Saying thank you is a good start.)</strong> whenever he does something; <strong>big or small</strong>. Appreciation of such <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b>“magical”</b></span> moments is very important if you want him to continue. </p><p></p><p><span class="font-size-3"><strong>Typically, men express their love for a woman through their actions;</strong></span> to do things for you is more comfortable expressions of love for him. Men love to problem-solve and find ways to be sure their beloved is comfortable, protected, and feels safe. He is more likely to take your car in for <strong>an oil change, regular maintenance, or fill your gas tank</strong> to show his love then, remember to buy a card and book reservations for your anniversary. </p><p>Yes, I know when dating and in pursuit of the woman of his dreams; a man can be very romantic. But, ladies once he has you. He starts to show his love in less dramatic ways. Things we may take for granted, <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b>like that oil change</b></span>, are his ways of loving and taking care of you. </p><p>So, learning how to be appreciative of the little things can be the difference between a tense relationship and a loving one. Why, because if you start offering <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b>“Honey, I appreciate you.”</b></span> after he has taken out the garbage, picked-up the kids from day care, or asked you about your day. You become even more lovable in his eyes and he will search for more ways to make you happy. He feels like he is getting it right with you; he feels like your hero. </p><p>Yes, your hero, every man wants to be his woman’s hero. He will never tell you, but watch him after you tell him how much you appreciate something he has done for you; <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b>big or small</b></span>. He almost “glows” with satisfaction, <strong>he did something right</strong>. </p><p>Now, to show you how true the information I am sharing is. I have <span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong>an</strong> <b>assignment for you</b></span>. This week, I want you to make a list of the little things your man and the men in your life do for you. <strong>Yes, single ladies,</strong> I want you to do this too. Appreciating men includes appreciation for all of them; <strong>our fathers, sons, friends, co-workers, etc.</strong> Even a stranger who compliments you or holds the door open for you deserves to receive some appreciation. </p><p>So, that is all for now. I hope this brief article has offered you some helpful insight about the man or men in your life. Have fun with this newfound information; <strong>email me</strong> and let me know what exciting things happen in your life once you start showing more appreciation for the men in your life or if you would like some one on one assistance learning how to really take advantage of this newfound skill.</p><p>Have a wonderful day, </p><p>Cyndi Harris, HP </p><p>Author, Relationship Transformation Coach, Man Whisperer </p><p><span><a href="http://undeniablyirresistible.com" target="_blank">www.undeniablyirresistible.com</a> </span>or <a href="http://redtentwisdom.com" target="_blank">www.redtentwisdom.com</a><span> (Go to either site to sign up for your 20 minute complimentary irresistible discovery session.)</span></p><p>Cyndi@undeniablyirresistible.com </p></div>
How to Love a Man – It is easier than you think.
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/how-to-love-a-man-it-is-easier-than-you-think
2013-03-30T18:30:00.000Z
2013-03-30T18:30:00.000Z
Cyndi Harris
https://mybbwo.com/members/CyndiHarris
<div><p><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">Are you ready to have the best romantic relationship ever?</span></strong> Yes, well learning how to love your man or become the woman of your future man's dreams can be a fun-filled journey of self-discovery and unexpected pleasure. </p><p>We crave and desire so much from our most intimate and personal relationship. We watch movies, TV, read romance novels, and share conversations about our dream guy while searching for the “One” with our girlfriends. </p><p>If single, we get all <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b>“dreamy and gooey”</b></span> inside when we see a man who catches our eye as we walk past him on the street or sitting in Starbucks talking to one of our girls. We feel flushed, a little warm, but we are excited. Especially, if he walks over to introduce himself, exchanges a brief conversation, then ask for our number. </p><p>Or if you are in a long term relationship, you may find yourself remembering when you felt <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b>“butterflies”</b></span> in the pit of your stomach whenever your beloved spoke to you in that <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b>“oh so sweet and sexy voice”</b></span>. You know the <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b>“voice”</b></span>… how he sounds when he walks up behind you, places his arms around you, and kisses the side of your neck; then tells you how beautiful you look and he is the luckiest man in the world to be your man. It took everything in you, not to drop to the floor because all of a sudden you felt weak in the knees. And if he wasn’t holding you; you would probably be on the floor; weak with desire for his passionate kisses and more. </p><p>Well, whether you are single or in a committed relationship. Loving a man can seem like an uphill battle at times. They seem to <strong>“speak”</strong> a language that is confusing and causes you to despair when things take an unexpected turn for the worse. </p><p>We want to keep romance and passion alive, but aren’t sure how to do it. Well, allow me over the next few blog post share a few secrets with you that can turn you into a love and man magnet and receive the love you yearn for and get your beloved to remember why he is so lucky to have you in his life or if single, captivate and capture the right man for you. </p><p>Personal coaching allows you to open up and receive unbiased assistance that helps you become a sexy and romantically successful woman without destroying a man's confidence and masculine identity in the process. Learn how to give what you want to receive in a way that a man appreciates and understands. Crack the code to love’s mystery with the man of your dreams; whether he is a part of your life right now or you are preparing yourself for his arrival. Love waits for no one so, be proactive and learn how to create the changes needed for your loving success. </p><p>So, get ready for the good stuff and I am looking forward to our next conversation. Stay tuned for the first man magnet tip… <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b>Showing Appreciation</b></span> and ways to incorporate it into your daily interactions with your beloved or delightful men you meet throughout the day. </p><p>Have a wonderful day and we’ll talk soon. </p><p>Cyndi Harris, HP </p><p>Author, Relationship Transformation Coach, and Man Whisperer </p><p><span><a href="http://undeniablyirresistible.com" target="_blank">www.undeniablyirresistible.com</a> </span>or <a href="http://redtentwisdom.com" target="_blank">www.redtentwisdom.com</a><span> </span></p><p>Cyndi@undeniablyirresistible.com </p></div>
The First Steps to Unlocking a Man's Love Code
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/the-first-steps-in-unlocking-a-man-s-love-code
2013-04-05T13:20:38.000Z
2013-04-05T13:20:38.000Z
Cyndi Harris
https://mybbwo.com/members/CyndiHarris
<div><p>Men… delightful, scrumptious, and wonderful men; I love men. I think they are amazing and interesting. I love the way they look, sound, and process life. But, if loving a man has ever left you feeling confused and frustrated. You are not alone. I admit, men can be some of the most mysterious “creatures” at times. We love them, long for them, and at times want to shake them until some type of emotional response occurs. What is a woman to do? </p><p>Well, if you are interested in cracking a man’s love code and learning how to lovingly and peacefully coexist. I have a few simple tips that will point you in the right direction. But first, I have a couple of questions for you. Then, I am will offer you a few suggestions that can help you get closer to almost any man. </p><p>The questions: </p><p>1. Do you like men? Not only in a romantic sense, but overall. </p><p>2. Do you respect men? </p><p></p><p>Yes, I know these questions are unusual, but I have a very specific reason for asking them. If you want to get inside the mind of a man, you must first understand what is important to him. And yes ladies, sex is important. Goodness ladies, you have such a one-track mind. Granted, it is a delightful “track”. But, a wise woman knows there is more to a man’s needs than simply sex. Even if at times that seems to be all he wants. If you really want to get close to a man and have him open up to you; he must know that you like and respect him. Knowing this little secret can almost instantly change the dynamics of your relationships with men.</p><p>Genuinely liking and respecting a man is important in the beginning of a relationship and beyond, if you want a man to see you as something more than a sex object then, you must let him know you have a sincere interest in him as a man; show him that you think he is fascinating and that you admire him. </p><p>Sounds a bit old-fashioned, right? Maybe, but we put so much pressure on ourselves to appear a certain way when we are with men or get caught up in trying to beat men at their own “game”. We can easily forget to relax and simply get to know a man person to person. </p><p></p><p>So, if you want the inside scoop to better relationships with men here are a few starter tips whether you are just meeting a man or have known him for sometime. If you want your man or men to enjoy your company and develop better communication with them; go back to basics find out:</p><p>• <span><b>What are his interests?</b></span> (Even if you think you know; ask anyway. He may have changed interests or has learned something new about an old one he would love to share with you.)</p><p>• <span><b>Who does he admire and why?</b></span> (This is a big one. It will offer valuable insight into the type of man he is striving to be. Listen carefully to his answers and do some research of your own about the person or people he mentions, This is a great way to gather information for a future conversation.) </p><p>• <span><b>What are his ambitions?</b></span> (Listen with an open-mind, even if you think his ambitions are impossible or unrealistic. They are his dreams; be supportive.) </p><p></p><p>Understanding how to ask good questions is a talent that is underestimated. When you show a real interest in a man as a person; a man will find you fascinating as well. And here's the sweet part; when you follow the above suggestions, a man will find himself thinking about you and he will find a reason; a deep need to spend more time with you. Because, for him, he will have found a woman who is charming, easy to talk to, and whose company he enjoys. This is a win/win situation for both of you.</p><p>Does this sound too simple? Well, if you want to become a man magnet whose beauty, intelligence, and sensuality makes you unforgettable. Give it a try:</p><ul><li>Think about the reasons you truly like men.</li><li>Think of ways you can show a man true respect</li><li>Then, think of some basic questions you can ask (or use the ones provided in this article), and watch what happens. </li></ul><p>I can guarantee you will notice a change in the way men respond to you and how you respond to them. It will become easier and you will be able to pick and choose the type of men you invite into your life. Whether that is a new love interest, a new friend, or reigniting the romance between you and your current man; you now have taken the first steps to cracking a man’s love code. Enjoy and we will talk again soon.</p><p> </p><p>Sending you much love and unlimited joy, </p><p>Cyndi Harris, HP (Life and Relationship Transformation Coach) </p><p>Author of the forthcoming book; “The Official Handbook to Becoming Irresistible – Learn How to be a Woman Who Is Positively Unforgettable.” </p><p><span><a href="http://undeniablyirresistible.com" target="_blank">www.undeniablyirresistible.com</a> </span>or <a href="http://redtentwisdom.com" target="_blank">www.redtentwisdom.com</a></p></div>
Marriage #15
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/marriage-15
2013-03-12T03:00:00.000Z
2013-03-12T03:00:00.000Z
Di Jones
https://mybbwo.com/members/DiJones
<div><p align="center"><b><i>Love between two people</i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i>Commitment between two people</i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i>Two people becoming one</i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i>How do I know if I am married or not?</i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i>Is marriage when two have united through their hearts;</i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i>With God as their witness?</i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i>Or</i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i>Is Marriage when two people have a piece of paper, saying they are married?</i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i> </i></b></p><p><b><i>What is marriage? There are many who would question this due to questions surrounding gay marriage. I have another reason to question this. Mine is very personal. Mine has religious as well as legal ramifications.</i></b></p><p><b><i>This is my religious dilemma:</i></b></p><p><b><i>When I married I insisted on getting married in a church because this was something I believed strongly in. When I married I took my vows very seriously. The circumstances surrounding my marriage were a bit unusual and this added to the strong beliefs behind my marriage. I had known my husband for only a month and a half via phone conversations. I flew to St Louis to meet him and we got married the same day. We knew, in our hearts, that God had brought us together. Due to my past, I prayed from the moment I stepped off the airplane, while standing in line at the court and up until the time I said “I DO” at the church. I prayed that God would watch over us and I asked to be led to do God’s will; if this was his will that he would bless us in this marriage ceremony. I prayed and I prayed and we were married. I went into this marriage knowing that I made my vows with God as my witness. I believed in my vows till death do us part. I believed in my vows for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer…….I believed and I promised to fulfill these vows. </i></b></p><p><b><i>Do these vows hold true In God’s eyes if my marriage was filled with abuse and adultery against me?</i></b></p><p><b><i>Do these vows hold true if the marriage was not valid in a legal sense?</i></b></p><p><b><i>No one can ever imagine or guess the events that will happen in their life. No one can be prepared for every twist and turn life offers. Shortly after my marriage I learned that my husband was a crack addict. I learned this through the trials my life was faced with. The addiction caused my husband to do many things that are totally against what the Bible says a marriage should be. My husband became abusive; physically, emotionally and verbally. My husband stole from me to pay for his addiction. My husband cheated on me on a regular basis with prostitutes. These are all things that the Bible talks against. Adultery and abuse are both reasons for divorce. The Bible talks about not associating with people like this. The Bible says a person who commits adultery will not be accepted into the kingdom of heaven. The Bible says if you commit adultery you ruin your life. The Bible says very specifically what love is and there is no way that the things my husband did to me would be considered love. And yet, the Bible also says a wife is to submit to her husband. The Bible says we are to forgive 70 X’s 7 times. I believe in God’s word…I believe I am to strive to be as Jesus was. If someone asks for forgiveness and forgives others as he would want to be forgiven; if someone repents and accepts Jesus into his life; if that someone is born again as a new creature of God, do all his past sins matter? Should they matter to anyone if God has forgiven and Only God can judge?</i></b></p><p><b><i>My dilemma is compounded by legal matters.</i></b></p><p><b><i>I have been married for four years now. Even through all the trials, we have tried to work together. Out of nowhere I receive a call from my husband’s first wife. They are not divorced….which means I am not married…or am I? Does it make a difference that he was not a husband to me even when we believed ourselves to be married? Does it make a difference that my husband has asked God for forgiveness and I truly believe that God will judge me to the same extend I judge others? In my mind, I must forgive and not judge my husband just as I would ask God (and my husband) to forgive me. I am not married legally, however, the question remains………am I married in God’s eyes? </i></b></p><p><b><i>When I said my vows to my husband, I said them believing them to be true and from my heart. </i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i>Marriage; a covenant</i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i>In God's house with God as our witness.</i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i>Marriage; with vows</i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i>between us two, from our hearts with God's blessings.</i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i>Are we married in Christ</i></b></p><p align="center"><b><i>under God's Rule</i></b></p></div>
Beginning of the End #13
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/beginning-of-the-end-13
2013-01-02T00:32:23.000Z
2013-01-02T00:32:23.000Z
Di Jones
https://mybbwo.com/members/DiJones
<div><p style="text-align:left;" align="center"><i><a href="http://www.DJsUniqueSound.com" target="_blank">DJs Unique Sound Charities</a></i></p><p style="text-align:left;" align="center"><a href="http://youtu.be/3V37IvQRMpk" target="_blank">Beginning of the End #13</a></p><p align="center"> </p><p align="center"><i>The pressure builds</i></p><p align="center"><i>The disappointments mount</i></p><p align="center"><i>The disrespect grows</i></p><p align="center"><i>And yet it is usually something small that will put you over the edge</i></p><p align="center"><i>The last straw</i></p><p align="center"><i>How much hurt is one person supposed to take</i></p><p><i>The problems were getting worse. The drug use was getting worse and he was taking more money. He wrote out checks and signed my name which caused me to overdraw at the bank. He didn’t seem to care if I could pay the bills or not; all he cared about is his drug. His cheating with prostitutes was getting worse. The one thing that was better is that he hadn’t put his hands on me all this time. Now, that had also changed. I had made a comment about his cheating on me with prostitutes and he put his hands around my neck and started shaking me vigorously. He said it was because of my mouth….why couldn’t I keep my mouth shut. It is funny how these serious things were not what finally broke me. The beginning of the end was because he pawned his wedding ring. He had always told me that he would not take off his wedding ring for anything. Now I knew he cared more about his addictions than he cared about our marriage. To realize that he would spend money on drugs and other women and he would pawn his wedding ring to do that was the last final confirmation I needed to know our marriage was over. This was the most disrespectful thing he could have ever done to me.</i></p><p><i>I was numb to my feelings because it was easier to stay numb then to hurt.</i></p><p><i>His made some decisions that would change my heart forever. The final steps he took showed me that I couldn’t help him anymore. He didn’t want help. First he sold our Mac computer for an $85 rock. This computer had all our business information on it and it had all his music on it. His music was his life so for him to sell this showed me he didn’t care about anything anymore. The next thing he did was that he told me that he could get $750 for my camera. (He latter he told me he would not have taken it, I don’t believe this) I started taking my camera with me everywhere I went because I was afraid he would take it and this was the one and only thing I had left that meant anything to me. I was always on edge and couldn’t take living like this anymore so I finally agreed to give him the $750. I gave him all of my bill money. He said he would be gone for a minimum of three months. I asked him to not contact me. I told him to leave and not ever look back. The money didn’t matter as much as him leaving and not returning. No matter how much it hurt to see him go, I needed the hurt to go away. He used up the money in two days and came back to the house. I couldn’t believe he was back. I had finally convinced myself that I would be okay without him and I was prepared to be without him in my life. After a few days, I asked him what it would take for him to leave and not ever look back. He said for me to get him a ticket to his hometown and give him $300 spending cash. I borrowed the money, got him a flight and gave him the cash he asked for. Again, I asked that he leave and not ever look back. </i></p><p><i>I was done. I could finally breathe again and not have to worry about being hurt in any way…mentally, physically…or financially. With him gone, I could finally heal.</i></p><p><i>After only a couple of days he called me and was on his way home. Things did not go the way he expected in his home town. He learned that I was the only one who loved and cared about him…I couldn’t take it anymore.</i></p><p><i>When he got back he went straight to rehab. He had them pick him up at the airport and I didn’t even see him. </i></p><p><i>A week later, it was 2 am and I was asleep. I woke up suddenly because the light in my bedroom turned on. There he was standing at the foot of our bed. Shocked….I felt like I was going to pass out.</i></p><p><i>He was home for two weeks. It was during this time that I was in the process of trying to get my house re-financed. He showed me he could be a true husband. He helped me around the house; he cleaned and painted and showed me love and respect. I came home from work in the middle of the day and asked him if he was high. He held me so lovingly and promised me that he was not; he promised me that he would tell me if he got the urge. When I got home at lunch, he was high. This was the end; I asked him to leave and told him ONCE again I did not ever want to see him again. I told him if he was not gone by the time I got home after work, I would call his PO. I told him I didn’t want him hurt; I just wanted him gone and it was his decision on how he was going to leave. He said he would be gone and I locked the doors with him in the backyard. I got home from work and he was still in the back yard. I told him he needed to leave before the police got there and he would not leave. It took a couple of hours until he finally left; his PO and the police arrived and soon after found him sitting at a bus stop near our house.</i></p><p><i>The way he held me was the same as he did our first night in St. Louis when he told me I would not ever have to be afraid again. I didn’t think he could hurt me worse than he already had; this hug was the most disrespectful thing and the most hurtful feeling he could impose on me….the way we began is the way we would end…with a hug filled with so much love.</i></p><p align="center"><i> </i></p><p align="center"><i>I have heard that God only gives you as much as he thinks you can handle</i></p><p align="center"><i>He must think awfully high of me</i></p><p align="center"><i>I really can’t handle this any more</i></p><p align="center"><i>Why God….Why</i></p><p><i> </i></p><p><i> </i></p></div>
Everybody Has a Secret! What's yours?
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/everybody-has-a-secret-what-s-yours
2011-10-17T04:02:03.000Z
2011-10-17T04:02:03.000Z
melissa Love
https://mybbwo.com/members/melissaLove
<div><p align="center">Secret Lover</p><p> <a href="{{#staticFileLink}}10744070469,original{{/staticFileLink}}"><img height="281" width="220" src="{{#staticFileLink}}10744070469,original{{/staticFileLink}}" class="align-left" alt="10744070469?profile=original" /></a>Carter Perry’s world had turned upside down when he found out that his wife of four years had being keeping a secret behind his back.</p><p> Carter suspect Keisha had been sleeping around with his younger brother, Donte. In order to have the proof he needs to catch them in the act, he put a plan in motion. He tells his wife that he has to go out of town for a business meeting. What she doesn’t know is that Carter never left the city but stay around to spy on her. He finally catches them together, but to his surprise it wasn’t his brother! Follow Carter as his rage leaves him to commit double murder.</p><p>Read the rest of this short story on my blog and feel free to leave a comment and join.</p><p>@ <a href="http://urbanbooksbymelissalove.blogspot.com/2011/10/i-stood-in-door-way-of-our-patio.html">http://urbanbooksbymelissalove.blogspot.com/2011/10/i-stood-in-door-way-of-our-patio.html</a></p><p> </p><p>Everybody has a secret! What’s yours?</p></div>
Submission is not Inferiority, but Wisdom in Action
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/submission-is-not-inferiority-but-wisdom-in-action
2011-10-16T22:59:15.000Z
2011-10-16T22:59:15.000Z
Rebekah L. Pierce
https://mybbwo.com/members/RebekahLPierce
<div><p>Tell a modern day woman to “submit” to her husband and you might as well start walking towards the planks because Davie Jone’s Locker is where her words will send you; it is almost a form of blasphemy – that word. It has also been unforgivenly assigned the meaning of “obey,” hence, its removal from contemporary wedding vows and in marriages. No one, it seems, wants to be told what to do.</p><p>I am currently teaching a women’s literature course and one of the texts I’ve elected to have us read is the “Book of Ruth.” Raised in a pentecostal church, I was always taught to believe that women were to “submit” to their husbands because the Bible said so: women were inferior to men. But I’ve come to the conclusion after analyzing this text and other works by women – as well as life experiences – that the word “submission” has been taken out of context.</p><p>Submission means understanding and accepting one’s value and place within the context of a relationship to bring forth a desired outcome or goal of said relationship. When Ruth lay at the feet of Boaz, at the urging of Naomi, it was not because she was being taught to be inferior to Boaz. Naomi understood, as did Ruth later on, that in order to protect and bring forth the future, she had to “submit” herself in order for it – the future and its generations – to come to pass. It was wisdom that made Ruth and Naomi “submit,” not inferiority. This is where modern day teachings of this word have fallen short.</p><p>Women are not inferior to men or men inferior to women; but rather, in order for a relationship to reach its full zenith and to be productive, the couple must come to understand and acknowledge that each has a value and place within the context of the relationship, and that no one is more valuable than the other. Scripture says that man is the head of the home, but the woman is the neck. Neither can operate fully and functionally without the other.</p><p>I call for a closer look at the word “submission.” It has been assigned a negative meaning because it has been taken out of context and made an instrument of the fight for power between the sexes, hence, the severe impact on modern day marriages. When Boaz awoke to find Ruth at his feet, he did not gloat or proceed to enforce domination over her. Rather, he said to her that she was a “virtuous woman,” and restored to Ruth what was rightfully hers: her home. And so begins not only one of the most famous love stories ever, but the opening of the door of the future which would bring forth David.</p><p>We must learn to submit to the will of the force which embraces and binds our relationships: to obey the spoken and unspoken rules of engagement in a true and fruitful relationship. Arguing and fighting for control and domination does not bode well a bright future nor does it allow room for wisdom.</p><p> </p><p>Visit my blog to read more: <a href="http://www.rebekahpierce.wordpress.com">www.rebekahpierce.wordpress.com</a></p></div>
Keys to A Successful Relationship! What Love Has to Do With It!
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/keys-to-a-successful
2010-12-16T04:15:35.000Z
2010-12-16T04:15:35.000Z
KAMAL IMANI*The Soul Griot!
https://mybbwo.com/members/KAMALIMANITheSoulGriot
<div><a href="{{#staticFileLink}}10744057671,original{{/staticFileLink}}"><img width="750" class="align-full" src="{{#staticFileLink}}10744057671,original{{/staticFileLink}}" alt="10744057671?profile=original" /></a>What Love Has to Do With It!The Importance of Unconditional Love in A Relationship!By Kamal Imani © 2010My wife and I have been happily married for 15 years and together for 19. Much of our success can be attributed to a book we read entitled “Black Woman’s Black Man’s Guide to a Spiritual Union” by Ra Un Nefer Amen. In this book he speaks about the importance of unconditional love. He also highlighted how we have a script or sort of fantasy like picture in our minds of the perfect or ideal lover or mate and when that person doesn’t meet our expectations, we feel let down, disappointed, the drama begins and things begin to fall apart.When our partner fails to perform up to our Hollywood or conditioned standard financially, sexually, emotionally or otherwise, maybe they didn’t cook, clean, communicate or perform the way that we envisioned it, we allow dissatisfaction to set in.Have Realistic Expectations but High standardsWhen getting to know your significant other, you need to be real when it comes to acknowledging his/her strengths and weaknesses. You also need to realize that peoples long developed habits are slow to change. If you’re hoping that something he/she does will change simply because you have entered their life, you may be disappointed. Some changes can be made if it’s clearly communicated, understood and your partner makes a conscious effort to change, but be very patient because it will probably be a slow and gradual process. I’m not saying that you should lower your standards, but have you ever heard the term wysiwyg? It is an acronym for what you see is what you get. And, you know while you’re dating you’re getting a persons best side, and as the saying goes “You don’t know a person until you live with them”. So keep it real, but stay optimistic, patient and keep the faith. Always keep a spiritual vibration in your relationship.Unconditional LoveUnconditional love is giving of your self without expecting anything in return. It is being selfless! If you’re giving and taking is like a Wall Street financial transaction, sometimes you will rise, other times you will be in a recession, a depression and eventually a crash! So it is important for both partners to practice selfless giving with out making the other partner feel that he/she owes you something.When unexpected financial, medical and other emergencies arise, you will have to be flexible, calm and optimistic until the situation improves (because you will be tested). Always find a creative way to communicate, be understanding, stay affectionate, optimistic, patient and faithful…Did I say patient? Selfless giving/unconditional love is a high form of practical spirituality and it takes two to apply it. It indeed takes two to make a thing go right.Watch Kamal’s tribute to the sisters “Ms. Melanin” on Youtube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aledyuIlCjs">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aledyuIlCjs</a>Kamal Imani is a Poet, Author, Film Maker Teacher and Mentor residing in New Jersey. He can be reached at <a href="http://www.kamalinspires.com">http://www.kamalinspires.com</a> To book Kamal for speaking engagements email Terrenceteaches@gmail.com or call 201-923-9213<object width="480" height="385" data="http://www.youtube.com/v/jPczuNKN3Eo?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="never" ></param><param name="allowNetworking" value="internal" ></param><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jPczuNKN3Eo?fs=1&hl=en_US" ></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="false" ></param><embed wmode="opaque" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jPczuNKN3Eo?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="never" width="480" height="385" allownetworking="internal"></embed> <param name="wmode" value="opaque" ></param></object></div>
WHY I LOVE MY SPOUSE CONTEST
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/why-i-love-my-spouse-contest
2010-01-08T23:55:09.000Z
2010-01-08T23:55:09.000Z
Trisha Martin
https://mybbwo.com/members/TrishaMartin
<div><p style="text-align:left;"><img src="" alt="" /></p>Submit your WHY I LOVE MY SPOUSE stories in 1000 words or less for a chance to win a very intimate dinner valued at $150 dollars. Contestants will also need to submit a picture of themselves and their spouse together, their wedding anniversary date, number of years married, City and State where they’re from, email address and telephone number. Deadline for stories is Thursday, January 21, 2010. Winners will be contacted on Tuesday, January 26, 2010.Send story to Your Positive News International (YPNI) <a href="mailto:contest@ypninews.com">Contest@ypninews.com</a>. In the subject line type WHY I LOVE MY SPOUSE. Story must be within the body of the email. For safety reasons, no attachments will be accepted.Note: Your submitted picture and story will be published in the YPNI Newspaper online and in print, in February.</div>
HAPPY NEW MONTH FROM RICKEY OF ARIZONA FACEBOOK MESSES UP RELATIONSHIPS
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/happy-new-month-from-rickey-of-1
2009-11-02T05:47:08.000Z
2009-11-02T05:47:08.000Z
Rickey
https://mybbwo.com/members/Rickey
<div>FACEBOOK MESSES UP RELATIONSHIPSComical look at how facebook can impact a relationship. very entertaining and contains some not so obvious truths how the open viewing communication system can effect people. For people considering marriage or already married should take heed to this skit. Relationships are effected by the new online communication. Love relationship can need some serious advice after viewing this.<object width="425" height="344" data="http://www.youtube.com/v/Y4XAsoabsZ0&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="never" ></param><param name="allowNetworking" value="internal" ></param><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Y4XAsoabsZ0&hl=en&fs=1&" ></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="false" ></param><embed wmode="opaque" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Y4XAsoabsZ0&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="never" width="425" height="344" allownetworking="internal"></embed></object><a href="http://videoforward.com/video.php?video=1037" title="FACEBOOK MESSES UP RELATIONSHIPS" target="_blank"><br /><em>FACEBOOK MESSES UP RELATIONSHIPS</em></a> <a href="http://videoforward.com/amember/go.php?r=316&i=b0"><img src="http://www.videoforward.com/images/getpaidbanner.jpg" border="0" alt="Sign Up Here" width="483" height="71" /></a></div>
Seeking Marriage Experts for Radio Show Guest Spots
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/seeking-marriage-experts-for
2009-03-30T22:47:00.000Z
2009-03-30T22:47:00.000Z
Venus Mason Theus
https://mybbwo.com/members/VenusMasonTheus
<div>Hello!I am launching the Wisdom4Wives Pajama Party on the blogtalk radio network next month. I am searching for marriage counselors and mentors to serve as guests on my new internet radio show. If you currently serve in any of these capacities, I would love to discuss the possibility of your being among my esteemed guests.Beginning in April, my monthly hour-long show focuses on married women and women preparing for marriage will air each on the 3rd Thursday @ 9 p.m. If our professional paths have not crossed yet, I invite you to take a tour of my homes on the web @ http://www.venusmasontheus.net, I would also like to invite you to visit and join my online network, wisdom4wives.ning.comI look forward to hearing from you soon.</div>
Marriage - The First Ministry
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/marriage-the-first-ministry
2009-04-15T15:30:00.000Z
2009-04-15T15:30:00.000Z
Dr.Glyniel Garner
https://mybbwo.com/members/DrGlynielGarner
<div>Marriage – The First MinistryStatistics reveal that about 45 – 50 percent of all marriages will eventually end in divorce. These numbers are staggering to say the least. These numbers include Christian marriages as well.Why are these numbers so high? The answer: marriages have stopped being a priority in the lives of many busy couples.Work, children, and social activities have been substituted for the number one ministry between a man and a woman - that is the ministry of marriage.What is ministry? Ministry is from the Greek word "diakoneo", meaning "to serve" or "douleuo", meaning "to serve as a slave". In the New Testament, ministry is seen as a service to God and to other people in His name. Jesus provided the blueprint for the pattern of Christian ministry – He came, not to receive service, but to give service (Matthew 20:28; Mark 10:45; John 13:1-17)In marriage, couples are to minister by meeting the other's needs with love and humility on Christ's behalf (Matthew 20:26; Mark 10:43; John 2:5,9; Acts 6:3; Romans 1:1; Galatians 1:10; Colossians 4:12).When we think of ministry, we think of the minister or the pastor of a church or the different functioning organizations within the church. As married couples, it is our obligation to be the minister in our spouse's life.Counseling and Life Coaching are wonderful tools to assist couples and individuals who are in desperate need of these services and are very much necessary for the help they provide. If couples would not only think of themselves as just husbands and wives but think of themselves as ministers to their spouses, the counseling load would not be as great. Ministering to your spouse can and should include ministering to the physical, emotional, mental, vocational, and financial needs of the other.Marriages today have become self-centered when the marriage is no longer two people being one, but two people remaining as two. My money, your money, my car, your car – couples are living more separate and divided lives within the same home. Today solid and happy homes are becoming a thing of the past. There are no more Ozzie and Harriet's, Leave It to Beaver's or Father Knows Best households. In these homes husbands and wives were both in the home, fathers took the roles of headship, provider, mentor and the disciplinarian in the home, and fathers were looked up to as the children's hero, not an action figure on television. Wives could be at home to raise the children and not rely on daycare to nurture and care for the family. In these homes, husbands and wives were the staple of the family and took active roles in the lives of their children and their communities. Times have changed so drastically. Today there are one parent households, children being raised by television, the drop out rate for high school students is at an all time high, and a major part of the criminal activities in our society are committed by our youth.The Cosby Show tried to depict a solid family image to American families and some did not buy this as reality, especially for the African American community.I can think of couples who were happily married five years ago, who today are no longer married or are now living emotionally divorced and living separated lives within the home. Marriage is the foundation to a great family life and God's greatest tool for ministry.Great marriages with their priorities in order depend on these elements to remain fortified: honesty, communication, commitment, and sacrifice. Placing our spouse as our first priority will produce true prosperity in our homes. There will be nothing missing, nothing lacking and nothing broken.The Bible speaks of several action verbs in Genesis 2:24 which models some priorities in marriage. The first verb is to "leave". Man is to leave his mother and father and to establish a new beginning with his wife. The second verb is to "cleave". Man is to leave his mother and father and to cleave to his wife. Cleave means to weld together or stick to like glue.Marriage is not only a priority- it is preeminent. It is superior to, and surpassing above all other human relationships. Husband and wife are to be bound together and should not be cut apart. The third verb in this passage of scripture is the verb "be". First, man is to leave then to cleave and to be one flesh. Becoming one is more than being physically one, but also psychologically one which is communication.Most marriages break down for a lack of communication with their spouse. The lack of attention and communication will eventually result in both parties involved to struggle, which will finally cause a break down in the home. Couples must stay committed to the vows they took on their wedding day before the Lord, to be committed "for better or for worse". There will be difficult times in the marriage and that is not the opportunity for the husband or the wife to bail out of the marriage. We are to stick it out and give that situation over to God. Be committed in "for richer or poorer". In these tough economic times that we are facing, when some are just getting by, when the prices are high and the paychecks are low, commitment is essential. Lastly, be committed in "sickness and in health". We do not know what challenges or sickness either spouse may face in the life of the marriage. We are to continue to love and to cherish our mate til death does part us.Ministry can and should be carried out daily in our lives with our spouses. God set the example of how much He loved us that He gave His only begotten Son to come to earth and die on a cross for us. It was God's priority to send us a Savior. We in turn, are to love and meet the needs of our spouse as a priority, setting the example in our marriages and sharing our love just as God has done for us.by Glyniel GarnerGlyniel Garner is a Professional Certified Life Coach, Board Certified Biblical Counselor and Certified Marriage Mentor. She is the founder of New Horizon Coaching Associates in Ocala, Florida. Glyniel can be reached at www.ourchurch.com/member/n/nhca www.myspace.com/newhorizoncoaching</div>
Woman, the Gift from God to Man
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/woman-the-gift-from-god-to-man
2009-03-20T15:30:00.000Z
2009-03-20T15:30:00.000Z
Dr.Glyniel Garner
https://mybbwo.com/members/DrGlynielGarner
<div>Woman, the Gift from God to ManEverything that God made, He made it to be a giver as Himself. The sun gives, light and heat, the flowers give off a sweet fragrant in the air, bees give honey, and the clouds give shade and rain.When God created man in His image, He made a man that was not able to give anything since he had no one to give to. God insisted that it is not good for man to be alone; God made a helper that would be suitable or proper for him (Genesis 2:18).The Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and God took one of his ribs, and He built a woman just for man and presented him with the ultimate gift from God. Then Adam declared that this gift was bone of his bones, and flesh of his flesh; that she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. (Genesis 2:21, 22)I would like to take a moment to ask all married men, "Do you see your wives as the precious gift that God took the time and built just for you?" Many men if they really assessed this question would find that truthfully they could not answer that question with a quick "Yes".Marriages are failing so rapidly around, and in the church there is no exception there. Many men don't view their wives as the gift which God's intended from the start. Man is to love and cherish their wives until death do they depart.What is a gift? (noun)1. something bestowed voluntarily and without compensation.2. the act, right, or power of giving.Woman was given to man to be that suitable helper and gift from God in marriage. There are divine purposes of marriage as to what God wished to give to man and to the world. God knew there would be a need for woman after He formed man. The woman is absolutely essential in the plan of God.Woman's role in the will of God was to be a "help" who was suitable to maintain every particular mental, spiritual, emotional, social, and physical need.When Adam declared "bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh", this resulted in what has become know as the universal law of marriage. It can be seen that:1. the responsibility for marriage is on the man's shoulder – man is to "leave his father and mother";2. the responsibility for keeping the union together is on the man's shoulder's – man is to "cleave unto" (stick to) his wife; and3. the union is indissoluble – "they shall be one flesh."Woman as the gift from God to man is to bring him complete satisfaction.Contentment and satisfaction with the wife in marriage is essential for a happy marriage. Proverbs 5:19 states "Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished or exhilarated always with her love."Husbands are to appreciate God's gift that has been given to him by cherishing his wife tenderly, as a delicate object of affection, focus on her body and sexuality only, and let her affection and devotion consume him.With the high use of internet today, so many men have fallen into the trap of bondage of satisfying their lustful desires outside of the marriage. There are pornography sites, chat lines and instant messaging that has taken the place of the sacred bond of marriage and their vows as communication has broken down along with intimacy and trust.It is God choice that the wife of your youth be the only one to satisfy him. It is not the will of God that man disregards His order and seeks the affection or to fulfill his sensual cravings through artificial means.by Glyniel Garner</div>
The Union of Communication, Commitment and Christ
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/the-union-of-communication
2009-03-05T16:45:10.000Z
2009-03-05T16:45:10.000Z
Dr.Glyniel Garner
https://mybbwo.com/members/DrGlynielGarner
<div>The Union of Communication, Commitment and ChristCommitment – the pledging, engaging, or entrusting oneself to another in a permanent decision or union between one man and one woman, broken only by death – love cannot operate properly without sacrifice…God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16In a marriage commitment, men are instructed to love their wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her. Men who will sacrifice themselves for their wife are living in the true image of Christ.Communication – the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing or signs between the husband and wife. Married couples are biblically instructed to speak the truth in love; to be angry and sin not, not to allow the sun go down on your wrath; lift one another up with words of encouragement; learn and operate in the discipline of forgiveness. There is no place for secrets between a man and his wife; it is possible to be angry without sinning but prolonged anger gives Satan an open door to the ones own heart; say only what will help for each word that enhances is a gift; be quick to admit when you've made a mistake.Christ - The anointed, the Messiah, the Title, the Jesus of Nazareth, God's Holy Son – God in flesh. He who was born into this world for the purpose of taking on the sins of the entire world; the invisible force that is in every Christian marriage that when joined together with man and wife complete the marriage to make them one. A personal relationship with Christ keeps marriages on one accord with Christ as the head. The more we focus on God the more married couples draw closer to each other.Combining these three C's will cause any marriage to be blessed and highly favored.Erroll & Glyniel Garner</div>
Ingredients To A Good Marriage
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/ingredients-to-a-good-marriage
2009-03-05T16:43:15.000Z
2009-03-05T16:43:15.000Z
Dr.Glyniel Garner
https://mybbwo.com/members/DrGlynielGarner
<div>Marriage is hard work. In order for marriage to really work, God MUST be at the center of the relationship. We are unable to know how to love our spouse unconditionally, unless we have God's love and know of His love. There will be ups and downs in marriage. After 22 years of marriage, I have seen both sides. When the storms clouds enter into your marriage, keep God as your "spiritual umbrella". He will not allow your marriage to get "wash out".Show appreciation for your spouse daily. Encourage each other every day. Is that easy always, I give you a resounding "No", but you must not allow your flesh to rise up to tell you not to do this and know that God wants us to speak good words to each other always.Stay best friends. That is what helped me. My husband is my friend. Some make their children their friends and the spouse is like an outsider or a foe. The devil tried to tell me at times that my husband was not my friend. You have to look past the flesh of the individual and look at the root of the situation. We don't fight against flesh and blood but against powers, and principalities and rulers etc. If we keep that in mind, we can fight off the devil that is ruining Christian marriages everywhere.The Christian marriage is to be the example to all marriages and to the world. We represent the relationship of Christ and the church. If the enemy can enter into our marriages, we would set a poor example to the world of Christ's relationship with the church.Learn to prioritize the important things in our lives. Some spouses put their work before their marriage, some Christian leaders have put the church or ministry before their marriage and this will put a strain on the marital relationship and can foster resentment to rest on the marriage. The order we must operate in is: God first, spouse, children or family, then work or ministry. Marriage can not fail in this order, this is God's order.Forgiveness is another important ingredient to keep in your marriage ALWAYS!!!! There will be many times you will say "I sorry" and hear "I'm sorry". In your heart there should always be a cup of forgiveness to offer to you spouse in return. Giving forgiveness is not letting your spouse "off the hook" for what he or she did, but it frees you from bitterness that could later raise its ugly head later on in the marriage. Forgiveness also stop the enemy from having an entry point in your marriage and in your life personally.I am passionate about marriage and the lives of people,I desire to see us reach new levels in life, to come out of frustration, which is a place a lot of people live, to "become" into the person you know you should be but do not know where to start to be it, and to growing into Christian maturity.Marriage is a journey, with winding roads and some rocks and pebbles along the path, the kind that get in your shoes sometimes. But just like when that pebble get into your shoe, you take it off, shake it out and put it back on and go on to your designation.In marriage we need to do the same, shake off the rough stuff, put on the good stuff and GROW on ! ! !Living Life Through Him,Glyniel Garner</div>
A kiss on the neck
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/a-kiss-on-the-neck
2009-02-08T05:34:16.000Z
2009-02-08T05:34:16.000Z
Lakishi Johnson
https://mybbwo.com/members/LakishiJohnson
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Pros And Cons Of Sex Before Marriage
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/pros-and-cons-of-sex-before
2008-12-15T23:48:41.000Z
2008-12-15T23:48:41.000Z
Deidre Logan
https://mybbwo.com/members/DeidreLogan
<div><b>What To Do, What To Do?</b>This question won't be going anywhere any time soon. As long as there are people with rushing hormones, this is going to be an issue. Many will blame the animal in us (particularly men - sorry fellas- smile); others will blame our histories; still others will create their own philosophies.However, there are some things I have noticed that I don't see anyone else discussing. For example, anatomically speaking, all the reasons that sex is good for marriage make it bad before marriage. Research has shown that during the sexual process, hormones are released into our brains that are designed <b>specifically</b> to facilitate emotional bonding. Yes, emotional bonding does have a significant chemical component. If, in fact, this is true - it would go a long way toward explaining why it is ofen so much more difficult to break up with someone we've been sexual with. Even if we believe we didn't particularly enjoy the experience, the associated hormones tend to leave a lasting psychological imprint, if you will, that tends toward bonding with the object of the sexual connection. Unfortunately, this can happen in positive as well as negative ways.Another significant consideration is the fact that the human brain functions much differently under the influence of infatuation/sexual arousal than it does otherwise. Science has shown that areas of the brain mostly responsible for logic and rational judgment are largely short-changed of blood flow under the influence of infatuation/sexual arousal. I heard a saying once - when you're on your back, you lose your mind. There is scientific basis for the truth of this saying. Essentially, that means that you are literally incapable of comprehensive rational thought during sexual arousal. The creative and emotional brain centers, however, are sent into overdrive. On average, it takes about 90 days for this phenomenon to subside to the point of returning brain function and blood flow to normal levels.While sex before marriage may give you insight into your partner's sexual performance habits and/or preferences, it will also tend to set you up to emotionally make connections that are virtually guaranteed to fail. The more sex you have; the more connected you become to your partner and/or the act of sex itself; the less rational and more emotional you become - anatomically. Most people have little knowledge or understanding of their own biochemistry with regard to this issue. Unfortunately, ignorance does nothing to change the dynamics and you will live with the consequences whether you're aware of them or not.That's a major reason why so many new relationships typically don't make it past 90 days; why people look decidedly different to you after the orgasms are over than they did before; why so many people believe they "can't help" who they "love", etc. My advice to adults is to use your dating experiences as information gathering missions. Don't get too emotionally attached before 90 days have passed and make sure that you can comfortably walk away at any time. I have more suggestions, but that's another blog. :-)One of the easiest and best ways to avoid painful and unfulfilling emotional attachments is to avoid sex until after marriage. By then, you should have a good and objective view of the kind of mate your partner would make and you can make a much more rational decision about whether or not to continue to marriage. If you don't, chances increase exponentially that you will stay in a bad relationship far longer than you need to and you'll tolerate conditions that sap your soul for no other reason than the sexual connection.Speaking the truth in love,Deidre</div>
Making Love and Money
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/932382-BlogPost-199415
2008-09-04T14:41:05.000Z
2008-09-04T14:41:05.000Z
Donna Maria Coles Johnson
https://mybbwo.com/members/DonnaMariaColesJohnson
<div><p><strong>Before You Work With Your Spouse</strong></p><p><span class="dropcap">A</span>s many of you know, I work with my spouse. He's my high school sweetheart, the father of my offspring, a <a target="_blank" href="http://www.djphotographer.com/">photographer</a>, a super quiet loner type guy and a rabid <a target="_blank" href="http://www.redskins.com/">Washington Redskins</a> and <a target="_blank" href="http://usctrojans.cstv.com/">USC Trojans</a> fan. We don't do everything together. In fact, we do a lot separately. And it's a good thing too since our road to Indie Business ownership has not been altogether smooth. But we share common goals. So whether together or separately, our activities generally support those goals, one of which is to have fun as we provide for ourselves and our two children. Emergency funds, college savings, dance costumes, mortgage, our daily bread. You know the drill.</p><p><img border="0" src="http://www.indiebusinessblog.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/09/01/wedding_couple_hands.jpg" alt="Wedding_couple_hands" title="Wedding_couple_hands" /></p><p>Most couples have the same goals as we do, and there are lots of ways to achieve those shared goals, the most common of which is via a traditional full-time job that matches your talents, educational background, skill sets and interests to a particular job description. If you land the job, you work for a third party, earn a regular pay check, make some new business friends and hopefully enjoy health benefits and opportunities for personal and professional growth. That's great, but for some of us, a regular job is not all it's cracked up to be. Long rush hour commutes, dwindling family time, day care hassles, latch key kids, sick kid nightmares, etc. So what do we do?</p><p>We create ways to make a living without the limitations so often imposed by a traditional job. We use technology. We resurrect talents and gifts we forgot we had. We wear many hats and make it up as we go along. This is easier said than done, but frankly, with the Internet, it's not nearly has difficult as it used to be.</p><p><strong>The New Family Business</strong></p><p>More and more, I'm meeting parents who want desperately to work from home, especially while their children are young. I'm also meeting married empty nesters who, after years of working a traditional job, want to make money together from home.</p><p>Single parents (dads and moms) are also demonstrating exceptional creativity when it comes to finding ways to generate income without having to rely solely on child support checks or secure jobs, which, these days are harder to find than a controversy-free Republican vice presidential candidate. (Sorry, couldn't help it.)</p><p>For those of you who are married (or similarly attached) with children, or married empty nesters, you may be seriously considering starting a business with your spouse. If so, you may think your biggest question is, "What can we do to make money?"</p><p>That's a good question, and one you obviously have to answer. But other questions are far more important. After all, you can always find a way to make money, even if it means having a job you hate.</p><p>No, before you go into business with your spouse, you have to ask a much bigger (and harder) question: "Can we successfully make love and money together without ripping each other and/or our business to shreds?" OK,maybe somewhat exaggerated (for some people, it's not), but you get the point.</p><p>I've been studying this issue for years, both up close and personal in my own family and by watching others. I've noticed that, time and time again, certain issues present themselves as the most challenging. They are also the most difficult to handle because they are not a lot of fun to address.</p><p>My goal with this post is to highlight some of the questions to ask and answer before going into business with your mate. I hope you avoid some of the same problems that I and others have dealt with.</p><p><strong>1. Do I Trust Him*?</strong></p><p>Kayla Fioravanti is co-owner of <a href="http://www.essentialu.typepad.com/">Essential Wholesale</a>, an Oregon-based company with 30 employees and well over a million dollars in annual revenues. I asked Kayla why she said she "loved" working with her husband in their family business. I asked her to go beyond the obvious, that it's convenient, fun, great for the kids, etc.</p><p>Kayla answered, "Because I know I can trust my husband to lead the company in a direction that's good for our business and our family."</p><p>So there it is. Trust. Personal and business trust. It's at the core of everything, isn't it? You've got to be able to answer the question whether or not you trust your partner both personally and professionally before you go into business with him.</p><blockquote dir="ltr" class="blog3"><p>Be honest on this one because, frankly, if you don't trust on all levels, a business venture will be risky on all levels. Don't set yourself up for failure. You'll take enough risks in business. Don't make this one of them. If you don't trust him, work on the relationship and address business options when the timing is better.</p></blockquote><p><strong>2. Is She Responsible?</strong></p><p>Look at her <a target="_blank" href="http://www.myfico.com/crediteducation/whatsinyourscore.aspx">FICO score</a>, all 3 credit reports, car payment history, college track record, etc. Are her bills paid on time? Did he graduate on time? Does he diligently work to complete work-related projects on time? No? Find out why. If the explanation satisfies you, great. But still insist on a plan to correct past mistakes and turn over a new leaf. Hold her accountable to stick with the plan for a significant period of time before starting a business together.</p><blockquote dir="ltr" class="blog3"><p>If the explanations don't satisfy you, keep your day job.</p></blockquote><p><strong>3. Is She Established Career-Wise?</strong></p><p>If you and your spouse are already established career-wise, it is a plus. Whether it's as a fast food restaurant night manager or a stock broker with a fancy corner office, an established and consistent career path is a sign of a person's ability to thrive in the business world and will help both of you feel confident and empowered as you hang out your joint shingle.</p><p>It will also helps prevent feelings of inequality. If you have a long career as a corporate muckety muck and your spouse has a long career as an award winning street sweeper, that's one thing. But if you had the muckety muck career and your spouse has hated his job for years and was never recognized for his contributions, you may be headed for trouble.</p><blockquote dir="ltr" class="blog3"><p>Discuss how prior employment and business experiences may affect your ability to jointly approach a new business venture. Acknowledge baggage and put it in a proper context before moving forward with a business.</p></blockquote><p><strong>4. Is He Confident?</strong></p><p>If your spouse walks with hunched shoulders, feels inferior because she can't lose the baby weight or is terrified of speaking a word in public without thinking everyone is looking at her overbite, don't print up the business cards yet. If a person doesn't not feel confident within herself, it's highly unlikely that she will feel differently about her business. This can spell disaster, especially if you expect her to fulfill a social role in the venture.</p><blockquote dir="ltr" class="blog3"><p>We all have fears and insecurities. But if they are paralyzing, they will quickly become liabilities for the business. Acknowledge lack of confidence up front and figure out in advance how to deal with it in the business. It must be exposed, acknowledged and minimized so it does not handicap your chances of success. You'll regret it otherwise.</p></blockquote><p><strong>5. Is She Personable?</strong></p><p>This is kind of like getting along well with others, squared. Last Friday, my husband went to a networking group meeting. He thought I'd like it, so he called me and told me I should join him there, and to bring business cards. So I dropped everything and headed over, cards in hand. I was greeted at the door by someone who said, "Your husband's here. He's great."</p><p>I proceeded to enter a room where everyone already like me. And my business. How cool is that?</p><blockquote dir="ltr" class="blog3"><p>A likable personality is a huge plus. It doesn't mean that a person has to be gregarious, the life of the party, or even particularly outgoing. (My husband is none of those things by nature.) What it does mean is that, whether it's a good day or a bad day, he can adjust how he interacts with others for the good of your business (which is ultimately of course, for the good of your family).</p></blockquote><p><strong>6. Does He Appreciate Social Media?</strong></p><p>Any business that does not appreciate the power of social media is going to either die or simply never get started. I. Am. So. Not. Exaggerating.</p><p>If you consider <a href="http://www.myspace.com/indiebusiness">MySpace</a> an invaluable part of your marketing repertoire but your spouse thinks it's only for teenagers and predators, or if you feel it's important to blog 3 times a week but your beloved thinks it's a total time waster, you have a problem. A big one.</p><blockquote dir="ltr" class="blog3"><p>Inquire about the social media your spouse is involved in. None? Might want to find out why that is, and then consider carefully before going into business with her.</p></blockquote><p><strong>7. Can He Multi-Task?</strong></p><p>How many things can your spouse do at once? Can he brew coffee, take a business call, look for a lost sneaker and monitor <a href="http://twitter.com/indiebusiness">Twitter</a> at the same time? I'm not saying that life is like that 24/7, but if you own a business and are also managing a home (again, especially if that includes the "pitter patter"), both of you simply must be able to do more than one thing at a time.</p><p>I remember once, we were in the midst of a very hectic day. Two kids under the age of 4, moving to a new home 600 miles away, saying good bye to family and running the business without taking a day off. It was really hard, but because we could multi-task (and because we clearly outlined who was responsible for what), we made it through.</p><blockquote dir="ltr" class="blog3"><p>Embrace multi-tasking as a way of life and don't let anyone tell you there's any such thing as balance. By the way, we also have part-time nanny and babysitting help with our kids. So even though we multi-task, we don't have a coronary trying to do everything ourselves. Ask for help when you need it. Even if you have to pay for it. Help. It's a good thing.</p></blockquote><p><strong>8. Is She Fair and Compromising?</strong></p><p>Lisa Rodgers of <a target="_blank" href="http://www.cactusandivy.com/">Cactus & Ivy</a> sells natural spa and body products from her studio in South Carolina. She told me that she is glad she doesn't work with her husband because "we nearly killed each other building our house." Lisa also told me that she loves her husband more than anything. But having said that, all couples have to consider whether working together in a high stress environment is something the relationship can withstand for many years.</p><p>Jamyla Bennu of <a target="_blank" href="http://oyinhandmade.com/">Oyin Handmade</a> in Baltimore, Maryland says that she and her husband successfully work together in their bath and body care products business, thanks to what Jamyla calls a "comfortable pattern of division of labor for household duties according to proclivity and skill." Sound fancy? She clarified: she does most of the cooking, he does most of the cleaning.</p><p>When it comes to business, Jamyla says that the patterns established in their personal relationship form the basis for a healthy business working relationship. She puts is like this: "We put the shorthand of our personal relationship to work in our business to help us us communicate and come to a decision about every issue." Fairness is important Jamyla says, to keep any one spouse from becoming overwhelmed.</p><p>I have experienced the importance of fairness first hand, especially where our children are concerned. My piece of advice in this area is simple: you are in for trouble if either of you has uncontrolled selfish tendencies when it comes to juggling business and young children.</p><p>I can't tell you the number of times we have dealt with this issue. We share a common goal of getting our kids to bed by 8:00pm, but what does that mean? After dinner, I wash dishes while he bathes, reads stories and tucks in on one night, and we switch the next? Sounds good, yes?</p><p>But what if on my night to do specific kid-relatedthings, a prospective client calls and wants answers to final questions that only I can answer, and he wants them before signing the lucrative new contract. Now. Hmmm, what to do? Should the person best suited to negotiate the contract do so while the other person takes over parent duties -- even if it means changing the prearranged set up?</p><p>Or should we keep to the set up and risk losing the client?</p><p>There is no right or wrong answer here. The fact is that, each situation has to be addressed on its own merits. You will make snap decisions like this constantly if you work together. You will have to change quickly, be flexible and sometimes sacrifice your personal desires for the benefit of the business and the family.</p><p>Yes, it can get complicated. Unless you and your spouse share a sense of fairness and flexibility where your shared goals are concerned, you'll be at each others throats when you should be enjoying precious family time and creating a strong and long-lasting business legacy.</p><blockquote dir="ltr" class="blog3"><p>Like Lisa Rodgers says, building a house is one thing. It's intense and frustrating, and you have to be flexible, patient and compromising when it comes to everything from paint color to the type of kitchen counter tops you get. But when you're building a house, there's a completion date and you both know the pain will be over soon.</p><p>In business, it's different. You have to compromise forever. If you don't, the end that may be in sight for your business and your relationship. And you do have to choose sometimes. For an honest discussion of why it is that entrepreneurship spells the end for so many marriages, <a target="_blank" href="http://www.indiebusinessradio.com/2008_archives.html#solovic">enjoy my Indie Business Radio Show interview with SBTV host and author of <em>The Girl's Guide to Building a Million-Dollar Business,</em> Susan Wilson Solovik.</a></p></blockquote><p><strong>9. Can She Set Boundaries?</strong></p><p>Karen Thomas, an Indie Business owner who asked me not to use her name, told me, "My marriage ended in part because I worked with my husband. Disaster without any boundaries."</p><p>Sad but true that some people end up choosing or being forced to choose between the business and the relationship. Regardless of what you may think of that from a moral, ethical or social perspective, it is what it is. To avoid this as much as possible, it's important that both of you be able to set boundaries. Someone's got to be able to step in, with regard to any given situation, and say, "We have to draw the line here."</p><p>Michele Keiper of bath and beauty products manufacturer <a target="_blank" href="http://flower-peddler.com/store/home.php">Flower Peddler</a> experienced first-hand the need for boundaries when her husband worked in her company for a short time after he was laid off his job. Michele says it became important early on that they respect each others different work management styles, backgrounds and personalities. Says Michele, "My husband is an engineer so each decision is analyzed and reanalyzed before anything happens. To me, it is a painfully slow process. My Type A personality assesses a situation quickly, makes a decision and gets it done fast and at full throttle."</p><p>Michele is quick to point out that neither style is better, it's just different from the other one. She says that they matched their styles with tasks to get the job done. Michele stresses the importance of implementing boundaries around work time and couple time. She says that the experience of working together (which they don't anymore since her husband is employed elsewhere in his field) made them a stronger couple, and gave him a better understanding and respect for what Michele does.</p><blockquote dir="ltr" class="blog3"><p>Each person must commit to a specific job description and set of boundaries that do not change. In this way, you and your spouse know exactly what's expected of you, and don't disregard boundaries or fail to fulfill expectations without talking it over with the other person.</p></blockquote><p>(For a detailed look at how one couple draws these boundaries, <a target="_blank" href="http://www.indiebeauty.com/channel-newsletter/arc2006/20061016.asp#feat">enjoy my online newsletter interview with Karen and Erik. The couple sold their business, but the tips they provided for successfully working together are priceless</a>.)</p><p><strong>10. Is She Forgiving?</strong></p><p>When I asked Maggie Hanus, who co-manages with her husband the suburban Austin-based <a target="_blank" href="http://www.awildsoapbar.com/">A Wild Soap Bar</a>, what has made her business successful, she said, "My husband and I would have killed each other a long time ago without forgiveness." Maggie would know too, because in addition to A Wild Soap Bar, she and her husband also co-own a landscaping business. He does the labor, she keeps the books.</p><p>While neither Maggie nor I are likely to star in an episode of Snapped, the fact is that co-managing a business with anyone will inevitably include disagreements. People will make mistakes, sometimes extremely stupid ones. People will drop balls, become grumpy and irritable, forget to go to the grocery store before it closes and just generally drive you nuts. If you or you spouse are the type to rub in every fault, wallow in imperfection (yours or the other person's) and are just generally unable to forgive and (most of the time) forget, you are in for a bumpy road.</p><p>And lest we forget, Maggie reminds us of the importance of a good sense of humor. "There aren't too many situations that a good belly laugh won't improve," she reminds us.</p><blockquote dir="ltr" class="blog3"><p>If you think holding a grudge can destroy a personal relationship, it can be just as bad in a business relationship. If he screws up at home today, you have to forgive that. Otherwise, come Monday morning, you will come to the staff meeting with a nasty attitude. You've got to address the point of contention quickly and honestly, ensuring some accountability of course, but still moving on to tackle the tasks at hand.</p></blockquote><p><strong>There's One More Thing</strong></p><p>There is this one last thing that I feel constrained to address. It's a touchy issue, but it is a very common one, and unfortunately, one that is not commonly openly addressed.</p><p>Sometimes, a significant other finds it difficult to handle the other partner's autonomy and/or business success. There can be millions of reasons for this, but whatever they are, this, perhaps more than anything else, is an almost insurmountable barrier to Indie Family Business success.</p><p>If you feel even the slightest bit of controlling behavior, put on the brakes. What do I mean? Let me be blunt. If your partner wants to own and control everything simply because she wants to be in control or pursue a selfish power trip, bow out now. He may not admit it, you know? But we all know it when we see it.</p><p>Address this issue openly and honestly. If both of you can't do that, don't prepare your resignation letter. For more information on how to address other issues, <a target="_blank" href="http://www.indiebusinessradio.com/2006_archives.html#marshack">enjoy my interview on Indie Business Radio with psychologist and author of <em>Entrepreneurial Couples</em>, Dr. Kathy Marshack</a>.</p><p><strong>What about you?</strong></p><p>Let me just say to anyone who has read this far (and thanks, because it's a lot of reading!), over here at Indie Business Headquarters, we do not have it all together. But we have experienced all of these issues (and more) so we feel that we can help others.</p><p>Our goal is not to share how perfect we are (and those of you who know us personally can attest to that), but to help others avoid some of the problems we wish people had told us about before we went into business together.</p><p>Still thinking of going into business with your spouse? Consider printing out this list and using it as a starting point for discussion. (And feel free to forward it to any friends you know who could use it.) If you can't share openly about everything listed here -- the good and the bad -- my suggestion is to put business partnership off until you can.</p><p><strong>Business is Hard Enough Without Sabotaging Yourself From the Beginning</strong></p><p>There's no way to know in advance whether a business will succeed. There's no way to know in advance if a relationship will succeed. But you can go into each with clear and honest expectations on both sides. That alone will help maximize your chances of success at both ends of the spectrum.</p><p>What do you think? Tell us about the business you have with a spouse or significant other. What tips can you offer to help the rest of us? Feel free to leave your comments below.</p><p><strong>Related Posts</strong></p><p><a href="http://www.indiebusinessblog.com/indie_business/2008/05/the-new-family.html">The New Family Business: 9 Reasons Why Home-Based Business Ownership Works</a><br /><a href="http://www.indiebusinessblog.com/indie_business/2008/03/how-to-hire-a-f.html">How to Hire a Family Helper</a><br /><a href="http://www.indiebusinessblog.com/indie_business/2007/10/raising-kids-an.html">Raising Kids and Profits: 7 Parenting Skills to Make Your Business Successful</a><br /><a href="http://www.indiebusinessblog.com/indie_business/2007/08/the-family-that.html">The Family That Grinds Together Binds Together</a><br /><a href="http://www.indiebusinessblog.com/indie_business/2007/06/family_second.html">Family Second, Yet Still First</a><br /><a href="http://www.indiebusinessblog.com/indie_business/2007/06/family_first.html">Family First</a></p><p>*For easy of reading, "she," "he," "him" and "her" are used interchangeably throughout this post.</p></div>
Thank God, there are still people who enjoy being married.
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/thank-god-there-are-still
2008-09-02T17:30:00.000Z
2008-09-02T17:30:00.000Z
Tracey
https://mybbwo.com/members/Tracey
<div>My husband and I came up with the idea for this network after a pretty big disagreement (fight or whatever you'd like to call it). And the name of the network came from when I thought back to how we acted toward one another when we first started dating, we were respectful, patient, kind, and all the other mushy things we all do in the dating stage. After a series of long talks late into the night we decided to that one thing that would help us stay on track with our goals (of having a strong, long lasting and happy marriage) would be a support network, hence 'Still Dating My Spouse,' is that network.Someone might ask why didn't you just go to counceling? First I'd like to say counceling is a great tool and I am all for it but with a working schedule like my husbands and the girls busy schedules it wasn't the most convenient thing for us to do. Now let me say this, if we didn't get it together after the network got started (like you read in many of my blog post and forum discussions) we would of had to nix the schedules, rearrange our lives in order to schedule some counseling in. Cause this time WE were determined to get it right (YES, I said this time- this is a second marriage for both of us). So yes I do believe in counseling (I prefer Christian Counselors- that's just me) and think it is a most valuable tool to help inspire new ways of seeing a PROBLEM in the marriage. That being said, this network will be featuring some marriage counselor, life coaches and other professionals that can INSPIRE all of us to LIVE OUR BEST LIVES.This network of married couples is a place that we all can inspire each other to see problems that, are bound to happen at one time or another, from other couples perspective. And the discussions aren't ment to solve the problem, but to inspire you to see a problem as an opportunity to grow, making effort to change the situation yourself. Change and problem solving always starts with each individuals choices, and the work they are willing to put in (both parties involved) to see the problem for what it is and to choose to do something about it.Go to <a href="http://www.stilldatingmyspouse.ning.com">'STILL DATING MY SPOUSE</a>,' at www.stilldatingmyspouse.ning.comNo we are not perfect but we are working on it.Love is work and work can be fun, but sometimes hard and always worth it.</div>
Communicate & Praise Your Mate
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/932382-BlogPost-189411
2008-08-18T07:09:09.000Z
2008-08-18T07:09:09.000Z
Shelby
https://mybbwo.com/members/Shelby
<div>I’m sure you’ve heard of the phrase “if you give someone what they want, they’ll give you what you want.” Well, that doesn’t happen as often as we wish. What many people don’t realize is how they go about getting what they want from the person they want it from. The person here is your mate. Allow me to share with you a very effective and easy technique that my wife and practice with each other from time to time. I like to call it the Communicate & Praise technique.It’s easy to tell your mate what he or she did wrong and, then tell them how they should’ve did it so that it would’ve been done right in the first place! However, this often leaves your mate feeling ridiculed and embarrassed. Surely it is not your intent to make them feel this way. Unfortunately, it’s a common practice of ineffective communication amongst couples. This is why the undesired act or behavior often doesn’t change.For example, last year during football season I would often attend the Bucs games with a couple of buddies. Before I left home, I would always tell my wife that I would be home after the game within a certain timeframe and that I would call her if I was running late. When the game was over, my friends and I would go to a sports bar and watch the other televised games. I would call British and let her know where I was and give her a new time that I would be arriving home.What would happen is that specific time would lapse and I hadn’t called her. This would annoy her no end. Instead of getting upset with me and telling me what I need to do, like she had done before, we talked about it. We communicated! She expressed how it made her feel when I didn’t call her if I was going to be late and, she provided suggestions of what would work best for her regarding possible solutions for this particular situation.The next time I went to a Bucs game and gave her a time of arriving home (and those plans changed) I called her and let her know that the plans had changed. And later when I realized that I was going to be running a little late I called her and let her know I was on my way home. She praised me! She simply said “baby thank you so much for calling me. I appreciate it. I’ll see you when you get home and drive safely.” That resonated with me. It made me feel good about what I did and more importantly what it did for her. So now, I call home when I’m going to be late or if plans change so that she is not upset or stressed. This makes for a very healthy and positive atmosphere at home.Communicate and Praise your mate, we all need to be recognized. When we’re at work and we do a good job on a project, or presentation, we want to be praised for what we did right and coached on what we could’ve done better. It’s never is effective to come down on someone when they do something not according to your preference. Often if effective communication hasn’t happened the issue persists. Praise their effort and then show them how to do it better. You’ll find that you are in a happier and transparent relationship that embraces communication and constructive feedback with genuine appreciation that can potentially go the distance.Shelby HillDating/Relationship Empowerment Coach</div>
Before You Tie The Knot....
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/932382-BlogPost-179587
2008-08-05T18:14:15.000Z
2008-08-05T18:14:15.000Z
Margaret Salmond
https://mybbwo.com/members/MargaretSalmond
<div><div><div><a href="http://www.vflyer.com/links/links?linkType=d36c892c2f31f2586851d8a2db0ebb2fa85895ea1c635d3b13015c53f544e47f9cd641fa29556e872d3e7d994e03075c077c362259125ca52e7e8a797271eb9a361b83bdc2014212dcf200943dd4097f2503fe4df19297e5&id=111" target="_blank"></a><img src="http://stats.vflyer.com/stats/stats?linkType=e18b655ae9b5285a798166b5c0872f2cbe9bbc37efaa8e493a68fcf911cef89502f40d61d007c487c9e2d757862132f2c6a32449af172071753cafe95b53acdf74cc54eb66432a52" style="visibility:hidden;" alt="stats?linkType=e18b655ae9b5285a798166b5c0872f2cbe9bbc37efaa8e493a68fcf911cef89502f40d61d007c487c9e2d757862132f2c6a32449af172071753cafe95b53acdf74cc54eb66432a52" /></div><div style="width:718px;text-align:left;margin:0 auto;padding:1px;margin-bottom:50px;"><div style="background-color:#ffffff;border:1px solid #979a9e;"><div><div></div><div><div style="width:716px;"><div style="border-bottom:1px solid #b2b2b2;border-top:1px solid #b2b2b2;font-family:Arial;font-size:24px;color:#20222b;"><div style="font-family:Arial;font-size:24px;color:#20222b;"><span>Before You Tie The Knot</span></div></div><div style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:11px;color:#555242;margin-bottom:10px;padding:10px 10px 0px 15px;"><div style="float:left;margin:5px 10px 0px 0px;padding:8px;border:1px solid #bbbbbb;"><img alt="Main Photo" border="0" src="http://lexusevents.vflyer.com/1/images/2863905_main.jpg" style="border:1px solid #000000;background-color:#ffffff;" /></div><strong>Location:</strong> <span>Long Beach, CA</span><div style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:12px;color:#455660;line-height:18px;"><span><span>Before You Tie The Knot" is an engaged Couples retreat. Topics include Relationships, Finances, Home, Housekeeping/Chores and Children/Parenting. Facilitated by Rev. Angela Butts-Chester of Blessings All Around http://www.blessingsallaround.com</span><span>$1500 for the weekend per couple, $300 deposit (both are non refundable) Hurry! We are only accepting 20 couples for this event! You can make your deposit payment below or pay for the entire seminar.</span> <b><span>Full fee must be paid by October 20, 2008 NO EXCEPTIONS!</span><span>Package includes:</span></b><span>3 day/2 nite hotel stay</span><span>Seminars</span><span>Breakfast/Lunch ~ Dinner is on your own</span><span>Swag Bag</span></span></div><div style="clear:both;"></div></div><div style="clear:both;"></div></div><div style="margin-top:10px;"><div style="width:195px;float:left;"><div><div style="font-family:Arial;font-size:13px;color:#2c2c2c;font-weight:bold;border-bottom:1px solid #b2b2b2;border-left:1px solid #b2b2b2;border-top:1px solid #b2b2b2;border-right:1px solid #b2b2b2;"><span style="display:block;background:#ebebeb;padding:2px 0px 2px 5px;border-top:1px solid #ffffff;border-bottom:1px solid #f0f0f0;border-left:1px solid #ffffff;border-right:1px solid #ffffff;">Information</span></div><div style="font-size:11px;font-family:Verdana;color:#7a7a7a;line-height:18px;margin:0px 5px 10px 8px;"><div style="font-weight:bold;text-transform:uppercase;padding:5px 0px 2px 0px;border-bottom:1px solid #7a7a7a;"><span>Contact Information</span></div><div><div><span>Lexus Events</span></div><div><span><a href="mailto:info@lexusevents.biz">info@lexusevents.biz</a></span></div><div><span>510-595-4669</span></div><div><a href="http://www.vflyer.com/links/links?linkType=1c6236a918e61997d276eb53037d53311fb7c20e5add23713e8bed8f93e6bf4d84cf11140aa359d330311d945bc0cb254ba3a0919312407f71f27b339d775b9958d9766aad2853a0b21a520e2a28ceced9f31b8dddbde5ac">Contact Reply Form</a></div></div><div><a href="http://www.vflyer.com/links/links?linkType=e43ddc1fea4ef9e073a2939738d8a3c828fe13a0302ed02d19616dbad17efa5a1d792f5693cfee8972569b2b4910bda4bed7a648a0a67b3efb52ba3dc600b09b4208aa67c7dfe7bcb10274c54617f5a39fa1369ef893c6be">Forward to a Friend</a></div><div><a href="http://lexusevents.vflyer.com/home/Listing.jsp?acctId=1334136">View Other Flyers</a></div></div><div></div><div style="font-size:11px;font-family:Verdana;color:#7a7a7a;line-height:18px;margin:0px 5px 10px 8px;"><div style="font-weight:bold;text-transform:uppercase;padding:5px 0px 2px 0px;border-bottom:1px solid #7a7a7a;"><span>Rates</span></div><div><div><span style="font-weight:bold;">Cost:</span> <span>$1,500.00</span></div></div></div></div><div><div style="font-family:Arial;font-size:13px;color:#2c2c2c;font-weight:bold;border-bottom:1px solid #b2b2b2;border-left:1px solid #b2b2b2;border-top:1px solid #b2b2b2;border-right:1px solid #b2b2b2;"><span style="display:block;background:#ebebeb;padding:2px 0px 2px 5px;border-top:1px solid #ffffff;border-bottom:1px solid #f0f0f0;border-left:1px solid #ffffff;border-right:1px solid #ffffff;">Location</span></div><div style="font-size:11px;font-family:Verdana;color:#7a7a7a;line-height:18px;margin:0px 5px 10px 8px;"><div><span>2640 N. Lakewood Blvd</span><span>Long Beach, CA 90815</span><a href="http://www.vflyer.com/links/links?linkType=af06c8fe3a67337741cd0446917db3696d9b4496492dabb39e06574337739674158431a41b23ce88aba8b7176da90051b7c2cf9c5a4f5951e0dc4ba1984024d813ef31b20d2096b9200725c147a179c3">View Map</a></div><div style="clear:both;"></div></div></div><div><div style="font-family:Arial;font-size:13px;color:#2c2c2c;font-weight:bold;border-bottom:1px solid #b2b2b2;border-left:1px solid #b2b2b2;border-top:1px solid #b2b2b2;border-right:1px solid #b2b2b2;"><span style="display:block;background:#ebebeb;padding:2px 0px 2px 5px;border-top:1px solid #ffffff;border-bottom:1px solid #f0f0f0;border-left:1px solid #ffffff;border-right:1px solid #ffffff;">Links</span></div><div style="font-size:11px;font-family:Verdana;color:#7a7a7a;line-height:18px;margin:0px 5px 10px 8px;"><div><div style="clear:both;"></div></div><div><span><a href="http://www.lexusevents.biz">Lexus Events</a></span></div><div style="clear:both;"></div></div></div></div><div style="width:7px;float:left;"></div><div style="width:485px;float:right;"><div><div style="font-family:Arial;font-size:13px;color:#2c2c2c;font-weight:bold;border-bottom:1px solid #b2b2b2;border-left:1px solid #b2b2b2;border-top:1px solid #b2b2b2;border-right:1px solid #b2b2b2;"><span style="display:block;background:#ebebeb;padding:2px 0px 2px 5px;border-top:1px solid #ffffff;border-bottom:1px solid #f0f0f0;border-left:1px solid #ffffff;border-right:1px solid #ffffff;">Profile</span></div><div style="font-size:11px;font-family:Verdana;color:#7a7a7a;line-height:18px;margin:0px 5px 10px 8px;"><div><div><span style="font-weight:bold;">Start Date and Time:</span> <span>Fri, Nov 21, 2008 05:00 PM - 02:00 PM PST</span></div><div><span style="font-weight:bold;">End Date:</span> <span>Sun Nov 23, 2008</span></div><div><span style="font-weight:bold;">Organizer:</span> <span>Lexus Events</span></div><div><span style="font-weight:bold;">Venue:</span> <span>Holiday Inn Long Beach</span></div></div><div style="clear:both;"></div></div></div></div></div><div style="clear:both;"></div></div><div style="clear:both;"></div><div></div></div></div><div><div><div style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:10px;color:#455660;line-height:18px;text-align:left;margin:5px 5px 5px 5px;clear:both;"><div style="float:left;"><a href="http://www.vflyer.com/main/index.jsp">Powered by vFlyer.com</a></div><div style="float:right;"><span>VFLYER ID:</span> <span><a href="http://lexusevents.vflyer.com/home/flyer/home/1797995">1797995</a></span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>
Why I wrote "I Need Therapy"
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/932382-BlogPost-81499
2008-05-15T22:30:00.000Z
2008-05-15T22:30:00.000Z
glenda wallace Greenidge-Blake
https://mybbwo.com/members/glendawallaceGreenidgeBlake
<div>I wanted to take this opportunity to introduce myself, tell you a little bit about why I'm here, and why after many years of writing, I decided to venture into writing about relationships.Relationship topics are always popular because relationship problems will always exist. Most of us have experienced the hurt, and anguish of a broken heart, but it happens every day. And at many stages in my life, I too have experienced it, but after five marriages and 18 marriage proposals, I have gained the knowledge of certain key elements to maintaining a healthy, happy and fulfilling relationship.I decided to write “I Need Therapy” because at some point in a woman’s life we’ve all silently made this statement, whether we admit it or not.When some of you experience problems within your relationships, you run out and buy our books, or sit at home watching Dr. Phil hoping that you will learn the key to fixing all of your problems. Believe me, I’m not pointing fingers, I used to be that person.I, like most of you, have had my heart broken more times than I can count. I can vividly remember a time back in my early twenties, when a man I was dating told me that he didn't want me anymore. To me, this was unimaginable and it hurt like hell . . . how in the hell could he not want me!From that point, it seemed like the more he showed me that he didn’t want me, the more determined I was to make him love me.I had to learn a hard lesson. I had to learn to love MYSELF and recognize my worth! And once I did, I developed a different attitude toward this man. I realized that he didn’t deserve me.When I learned this powerful lesson, I stopped calling him, hounding him, driving past his apartment or place of business. I stopped my obsessive behavior, because ladies, you know we can develop obsessive behavior. But when I stopped . . . the roles reversed. He started ringing my phone off the hook, driving past my house and coming into my place of business with the pretense of conducting business.He couldn’t understand how he had lost his hold over me. Ladies, sometimes we too freely give up control to a man.There are certain things in life that we can’t change. We can’t change a man, change his mind or his way of thinking.The only thing that you have control over is YOU! You can change your behavior and your way of thinking.I am so happy to know that this book has helped so many women. I receive emails every day from women who say how “I Need Therapy” has literally changed their lives. I also receive emails from men who say that they found the book to be “on point” and helpful in understanding what women want from their relationships.It gives me such pleasure to know that this book that I poured so much of myself into, is actually serving the purpose in which it was written.Fix your relationship problems by starting with YOU!!! I Need Therapy . . . available everywhere books are sold! Or click the link below to go to my order page.<br /><a href="http://www.glendawallace.com/order.html">click here to order your copy</a><br />Click on the link below to read more interesting blogs posted by Glenda Wallace<br /><a href="http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=140061239">click here for additional blogs!</a></div>
WBO Talk Radio: Advice Columnist Turns Her Niche into a Thriving Business!
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/932382-BlogPost-67619
2008-04-19T12:14:44.000Z
2008-04-19T12:14:44.000Z
Altha Sood
https://mybbwo.com/members/AlthaSood
<div>Women Business Owners, www.womenbizowners.org invites all women to join us on Wednesday, April 23, 2008 at 11 a.m. (Eastern Standard Time) on blogtalkradio.com/wbo-radio. The dial-in phone number is (347) 205-9229. It will prove to be a very entertaining show. Our radio guest will be discussing how she found her "niche" and successes in turning it into a thriving business. Here is some additional information on our guest speaker --Deborrah Cooper (a.k.a "Ms. Heartbeat") is founder and resident advice columnist on AskHeartBeat.com, which is her award winning relationship website. She focuses on black male/female relationships. On her website, she has informative articles on dating and relationships for both adults and teens.As an advice columnist and relationship expert she has also written a book "Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating the The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dysfunction & The Deranged! It provides common sense, street-smart insight into the toughest issues facing singles today.She has been profiled in Black Enterprise and Honey magazines as well as interviewed by Essence magazine.Ms. Cooper has also appeared on Yahoo Internet Life, The Oakland Tribune, The Dallas Morning News, and many other print and online media worldwide. This interview should prove to be quite interesting! Do you need some advice on a relationship??Come listen to Deborrah explain how she turned her passion into a thriving business!</div>
Before You Tie the Knot...A Couple Retreat
https://mybbwo.com/profiles/blogs/932382-BlogPost-53769
2008-03-25T14:44:25.000Z
2008-03-25T14:44:25.000Z
Margaret Salmond
https://mybbwo.com/members/MargaretSalmond
<div>Save the Date!Lexus Events Presents......"Before You Tie The Knot"A Couples Retreatfor Engaged CouplesNovember 21-23, 2008Long Beach, CAFaciliated byRev. Angela Chester<a href="http://www.blessingsallaround.com">http://www.blessingsallaround.com</a>Go to <a href="http://www.lexusevents.biz">http://www.lexusevents.biz</a> for updates and more information</div>