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Healing #10

Time to heal

Mentally, physically & emotionally

Time to heal

From the hurt, abuse, & betrayal

Time to heal

So life can go on…

We had met the day we got married so we really didn’t know each other.  We were able to change this during the course of the time he was gone.  We were able to use this time to heal and to grow together.  We talked in length about everything that had happened and why.  We discussed how we felt and what we needed to do to help each other.  We learned to trust each other; we learned to believe in each other.  Most of all we used this time to grow in Christ.  Many people would say that everyone finds God in prison.  I say that is great, because it is the story of the prodigal son.  God makes good of all evil if you allow him to and if you believe and ask.  We asked and we believed.  We took this time to start up our non-profit to help others.  We could use our experiences to help someone else.  For that reason it would all be worth it.  God has a reason for all things; this was our reason.  My husband expressed our feelings best when he put the saying on his back…”embracing the struggle”.  I could hope again…I could believe again…I was excited about our future.

It wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen fast.  I was still depressed and struggled to find a way out of my depression.  I had lost my job which caused another level of stress for me, however it turned out to be a blessing because I was able to watch my new grand-daughter.  Every time I looked at her I was reminded of my thoughts of death and how her birth had brought me hope.  She was my angel…She was a blessing…She helped save my life.  I focused on her and how precious she is, I focused my thoughts on my own children and my other grand-children. I focused on my husband and helping him to heal.

One day, while watching my grand-daughter, I was flipping through T.V. channels and accidently came upon a Joyce Meyer telecast.  I am not sure what caught my attention.  I watched the entire episode and knew that God was talking to me. I still had to deal with the guilt I felt for the restraining order.  I still had to deal with the guilt I felt for causing my family pain.  I knew it was time for me to heal and to put the past in the past.  I heard words that I had heard all my life and it reminded me of who I was.  I didn’t ever think I could get into a state of mind that would pull me away from my core beliefs and yet my depression was causing me to not be able to remember these simple beliefs.  I watched the next day and the next and slowly began to feel my heart open and my mind clear.  I felt light…I felt like I could believe again…I felt happiness

It has been proven that there are certain stages that most people go through in order to heal or in grieving a loss.  1^st) Denial and Isolation; 2^nd) Anger; 3^rd) Bargaining; 4^th) Depression; 5^th) Acceptance.  There is not a set amount of time that each stage should or might last.  There are not any limitation to the severity of each stage.  We are all unique so there is no right or wrong way to get through your loss or your individual hurt.  Everyone I knew gave me advice to help me heal, however they did not realize that I am different; I am unique.  The struggle I had, was to face the fact that I had a right to hurt in my own way and in my own time.  My sister told me this recently and I didn’t realize that what she said was exactly what was causing me pain in my healing process.  I could not change what others thought about my situation, I could only change the way I thought about my situation.  I began to “embrace the struggle”.  I began to remember that God does things for a reason.

The White Light…..It was shining brightly.  I cannot explain the new feelings I had within my heart.  My husband and I had so many plans.  We took this time to heal in a way I didn’t think was possible.  We took this time to grow together.  We were one.  We both wanted the same things and we were ready to work together to achieve them.  The second chapter of my fairytale was becoming a reality.  I was blessed in so many ways and I knew everything is possible with God.

I believed this was a new beginning……no looking back

Was I wrong?

Anything bad can be turned into good

It is all in how you look at it

Look on the positive side

And life will be much brighter

This week's feature entrepreneur is Shaneisha Dodson. She is the founder of Mahogney Ink Publications L.L.C. and Black Girlz Productions L.L.C. Currently residing in Virginia, Shaneisha holds a bachelor's degree in psychology from Grambling State University, a master's degree in counseling from Dallas Baptist University, and is currently pursuing a doctorate in education. Shaneisha was the first person in her family to graduate from college. In showing  how important education is to her, every year she gives a $500 scholarship to a deserving student. After college, Shaneisha wrote her first novel. It was like so much by friends and family she was encouraged to continue writing. That eventually led to the start of her publishing and production company. Being an accomplished author herself, today Shaneisha publishes 4 authors,  2 poets and has produced one stage play.  Her story is truly one of accomplishment. Find out how Shaneisha started her companies and where her inspiration came from. Enjoy!

1. Tell me your story. What were you doing before you started your own business?

I am a country girl born and raised in Arkansas.  I was raised in a matriarchal household.  I developed a passion for writing at a young age.  I started writing my first book after I graduated from college. Prior to starting my business, my life consisted of school, school, and school. I have been a student my whole life.  I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Grambling State University and a master’s degree in counseling from Dallas Baptist University. Currently, I am pursuing a doctorate degree in education.

2. What made you want to start a business and what is your mission?

I have always had a passion for writing.  After graduating from college, I penned my first novel.  My family and friends loved it so much they encouraged me to continue writing.  Therefore, I decided to take it a step further and started my own publishing company in 2009, Mahogney Ink Publications, LLC. My works have been featured in online magazines, selected as book of the month by numerous organizations, selected as top 25 fiction books of 2009 by Conversations, and earned a spot on an African-American bookstore best sellers list. My first teen book was selected as best book 2011 in literary excellence in the teen self-help category.  In addition, I was nominated for a 2011 African-American literary award.  My publishing company is home to four authors and two poets.  In 2012, I took my love of the writing to the next level and started Black Girlz Productions, LLC.   My company’s motto is “Dream BIG or go Home!”  My first play recently debuted: Cheating on my Mistress “When One Woman is not Enough”.  My mission is to entertain by any means necessary.

3. What inspires you? What keeps you motivated daily to keep growing your business?

Life inspires me. I am passionate about my work. Each day I strive to do better. I believe in taking my time to make sure everything is as close to perfect as possible.  Each year, I can clearly see my companies’ growth. We are moving at a steady pace. I am very satisfied because I believe in quality not quantity.

4. Do you have a mentor? Who is it and why? Do you believe it's important to have one?

I used to have a mentor, but we went our separate ways.  However, I believe it is important to have a mentor because no one has gotten where they are without the help of someone else.  When you choose a mentor, make sure you choose wisely.  Mentors are people who are doing what you want to do in life. They should be full of wisdom and knowledge.

5. What would you tell someone who wants to get involved in your line of business but doesn't know how to get started?

Research. Research. Research. If you want to start a business, learn as much as possible about the business. Don’t depend on other people to give you all the answers.  The biggest issue I have with the publishing company is finding a good editor. You will come across a lot of people who will make numerous false promises in this type of business. They will offer you an opportunity to be a part of a national tour, claim to be the best editor in the business, and will guarantee that their marketing campaigns will take you to the number one spot on the best sellers list. Be leery. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is…

6. What advice would you give to someone with an entrepreneurial spirit?

My advice is to follow your dreams. Don’t be scared to succeed. When you hit a hard spot in the road, keep pushing. Believe in yourself and believe in your abilities.

If you are an up-and-coming author looking to be published, visit Shaniesha's website at Mahogney Ink Publications. For information on her stage play show times and Black Girlz Talk visit Black Girlz Productions. Also follow her on twitter at @blkgirlz I want to thank Shaneisha for sharing her story with us. I hope you have been inspired by her accomplishments.

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Be someone’s motivation and tell us your story! To be featured on PeopleWhoProsper.com email Tamara@garrisonprosperitysolutions.com. Put PEOPLEWHOPROSPER in the subject line and share a little about yourself.

Broken #3

DJs Unique Sound Charities

Sometimes it's impossible
To leave the past in the past

Sometimes it's impossible

To reach your deepest inner feelings

Sometimes it's impossible

To separate what is real and what is ingrained in you

Because of your past

We had a saying ..."I Love you Like the White Light."  By saying this we expressed how our love was pure and beyond anything of this world.  it was from Christ...

W both had a near death experience in our past.  Mine was from a former partner when he tried to kill me, by strangling me.  The white light was so beautiful and peaceful.  The feeling is beyond anything that can be explained in words.  I remember asking God to take me, I was ready to go.  I wanted to go and experience the peace that the white light was offering me.  He didn't take me, however he did give me something that I didn't realize at the time.  He gave me strength to know that I was not afraid of dying.  The peaceful feeling I had at that moment would give me strength to face what lie ahead.

The fairytale was fast becoming a nightmare....the white light was fast fading into a black hole that I couldn't escape.

I opened my heart to my "fairytale husband".  Before we got married he had asked me to tell him of every relationship I had been in.  I told him if our marriage depended on me telling him, we should not marry.  I told him I was afraid of him using this against me.   I knew...why didn't  I believe in my own instincts.

After we got married, he made me feel like I could tell him everything.  He made me believe that in order to be one, we had to be totally honest and open with each other.  I told him how all my life I had been told how ugly I am.  I told him about my previous abuse.  I told him about my being raped on more than one occasion.  I told him about all the mean and hateful things that were said to me.  I told him specifics and in great detail.  I told him because he made me believe in him.. I believed I could be me and he would still love me.  I let out my heart to him.  It felt so good to be able to express myself to someone in such detail.  I could let out all those repressed feelings that I have carried all my life... those feelings that eat away at you little by little.   The feelings that you don't dare speak out loud because if you do, they will become real to someone else and you will be found out.  The feelings that you hold in a secret part of your heart; because to speak them out loud would be to acknowledge their truth.  I told him how everything made me feel...I told him everything because I finally felt like I had someone I could trust  that would understand me and that loved me enough to care.  In telling him my inner most feelings were somehow released... I could be happy...I didn't have to be ashamed of who I was.

I had no idea he would use everything I told him against me.  I had no idea he was addicted to crack.  I had no idea of what lay ahead.

He used to say something on a daily basis

"signs and symbols for the conscience mind...if you cannot see, you are truly blind"

I didn't see the signs...He said these words to me on a daily basis, why did I not see the signs before it was too late.

It started with mental and verbal abuse.  The things he said to break me down.  I should have seen the signs.  These types of things were said to me before.  He would tell me I was lying when I  knew I was not...he would tell me of the things he had done in his past to keep me scared and aware of his capabilities.  It was so subtle and he did it in such a loving way that I didn't notice him using my insecurities against me.  He would accuse me of cheating on him and when I tried to explain that I have not cheated on him he would bring up my past.  I couldn't believe this was happening because it was exactly as I predicted before we even got married ... something he promised would not ever happen.

The accusations became more and more frequent, the tone of his voice changed from loving to hateful.  He would hang on to my every word and if I said something incorrectly he yelled with such a harsh voice that I was afraid to speak for fear of saying the wrong thing.  I began to feel like there was something wrong with me as he made sure I knew that he acted the way he did, because of me.  If I questioned this he would say something like..."you don't even see the things you do" or "don't you even hear yourself".  I tried so hard to stay calm because if I dared to cry, he would say something like, " I don't want to hear that fake ass sh**."  I began to feel that I could not do or say anything right.  It didn't help that I had started menopause and my emotions were totally out of control.  When or if I tried to explain to him that I was changing ...my body was changing, he would get mad and tell me that has known plenty of women and they did not act the way I did.  He said my body smelled and insisted it smelled of sex and that I had been cheating on him.  I was so embarrassed and I couldn't fix the problem because what he accused me of was not true.  What was wrong with me?  Why couldn't I be the person he wanted?

It started...I was 'walking on eggshells.'  I always felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest, my nerves were gone and I felt like my insides were always shaking and ready to shut down.  I felt like I couldn't think straight; I couldn't ever say the right things; I couldn't express my feelings or emotions; I couldn't be me...because no matter what I did or said, it always seemed to be the wrong thing.  I must be a bad person...there must be something wrong with me since he is not the first person who has said these things...I have heard such things throughout my life.  How could this be happening when he was the person  that made me feel so special and now I felt worse than I had ever felt in my life.  I couldn't face my family or friends because to express what I was going through would be to admit I was a failure. 

I was alone.......My spirit was broken

I am who I am

Because of my past

I am who I am

Because of my beliefs

I am who I am

Because I can only be me

If God be for me

What man can be against me?

Truths about Blog Marketing Online That you should know

Do you struggle with marketing your blog online? Many struggle with marketing their blog, website, products etc. online and are frustrated with all of the information out there. As a result of this you may come close to giving up.

If you’re new to blogging this can get complicated. Marketing of any sort takes dedication, hard work and consistency. If you’re just starting out it may look like a lot of work and it may appear not to have much reward. Always remember that it is a process that takes building. You will have to be persistent and consistent.

So how do you get your blog out there? Take time to visit other blogs. Not just any blog, visit those that are relevant to yours and leave value added comments. . When you do this it will allow you to get your blog out to those who would be interested in your topic. Some will actually post the title of your last blog post.

Be consistent with posting on your blog. You may gain visitors, however, they won’t return if it seems that you use the “hit and miss” schedule.

How often should you post? You can post daily, weekly or biweekly but you want to be consistent. Now if you want to accelerate your results post at least two times per week minimum but be consistent so your readers can expect to return at a particular time and be rewarded with updated content.

Know where your traffic is coming from. Know which search engines are directing people to your blog and which are not. Find out what keywords are bringing people to your blog as well. If you know all of this all ready, use it to your advantage. Write more content on the keywords that are working for you and monitor where you fall on the search engine pages that are sending visitors.

What do you do when you get comments on your blog? Smile and say how nice or do you respond to the comment? If someone leaves a comment on your blog, be sure to acknowledge it. No one wants to have a conversation with themselves, and it will only take a brief moment to reply and let them know you appreciate them. Otherwise if you have a section full of comments and you have not replied, chances are that you will not be getting many more. The readers may even drop you off of their list of blogs to visit frequently as well. Using your head and treating others, as you would want to be treated is a big part of marketing.

If you happen to be quoting an article from another source or blog, always be sure to provide a link back to the original. Other wise this is known as plagiarism and something that is looked down on in the world of marketing. Stealing someone else’s content is not a good idea and not something that you will get away with. You will get caught if you try to say someone else’s work is your own of it is not. This is not a good way to start off in the blog marketing world as well.

As you can see there are many truths you should be aware of when considering marketing your blog. You can get your blog out there, known and monetize your efforts. Use these techniques above to get your blog more traffic and readers and you will eventually reap the rewards.

Want to learn more about blogging, Social Media and Online Marketing?
I invite you to join me for my “Jump Start Your Social Media and Online Marketing Success” Teleseries. Click here to request your FREE ticket to this Power-packed Social Media and Online Marketing Training!

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I have a very special offer for Fast Action Taking Decisive Women.

The biographies epiphany I mentioned in my previous blog post led me to think about my own personal experience. I realized that, when it came to my own career, I had ended up living my back-up plan. I thought of what I call the Plan A concept, which is simply this: Many people believe that they need to have a contingency plan, in case they can’t make their real dreams come true.

All too often, they go with this “sensible” Plan B instead of pursuing their sincere dreams. But how practical is it to deliberately leave your dreams by the wayside? If you go with your back-up plan, how will you ever know if your genuine dreams might actually be practical and doable were you to invest yourself in staying the Plan A course? Sure, you might be good at whatever your second choice career is, but it still doesn’t make for a very complete and fulfilling life. And settling for plan B leaves you always wondering, “What if?” Don’t get me wrong. I believe in being practical, but I also very strongly believe that in doing so, we must always keep our passions close to the surface so they are not forgotten and we must continually take steps toward achieving those dreams.

I have always known deep down (and not so deep down, truth be told!) that the path I chose, in the field of human resources management (HR), was not truly my Plan A path and that although there are aspects of HR that I love, most days I was simply going through the motions. Very rarely had I had the experience of bouncing out of bed because I was just so excited about the day ahead. And yet, I stayed in my career and actually successfully pursued a master’s degree in human resources management, as if gaining that deeper knowledge of the field would make me happier.

I thought I was alone in feeling confused about and locked in by my earlier choices. After countless conversations while developing my Plan A concept, however, I now know that there are far too many people who can relate to my situation.

www.LiveYourPlanA.com