life (189)

Mind Games #5

What is truth?

What is true to one person may not be true to another.

What is truth?

Our minds are unique

We process thoughts according to our own knowledge.

Are there really three (3) sides to every story?

Or are there many more depending on the story being told?

As I said before, I have always been labeled as “too nice”.  I try to believe the best in everyone, I try to trust everyone, I try to see the good side of every situation, I don’t ever hold a grudge or judge anyone.  This is the way my mind works.  This is who I am.

If I am told something from someone I love, I believe them.  When my husband told me, on our marriage night, that I did not ever have to flinch again because he would always protect me and he would not ever hurt me….I believed him.  When he told me our fairytale marriage was real….I believed him. When he told me I could believe in him….I believed him.  When he told me he loved me “Like the White Light”….I believed him.  I stored all his loving words in my mind.  Somehow they helped to balance out all the negative words that had been said to me in my past.   

When he told me, shortly after we were married, that he would not ever cheat on me unless it was with someone much better than me….I believed him.  When he told me stories of his past and the “bad” things he did….I believed him.  When he told me “no black man would ever want me, except to use me until there was nothing left to use”….I believed him.  When he called me names and pointed out all the things I did wrong…I believed him.  When he told me all he had to do was call “his boys” and they would be here…. I believed him.  When he told me I better be prepared because he always took care of business when least expected…. I believed him.  When he told me he wouldn’t just get me…he would get my whole family because he didn’t leave witness’…. I believed him.  When he told me he would burn my house down…I believed him.  As he started to tell me more and more “negative” things, his previous statements started to appear to be lies.  The words he said now reinforced all the negative things that I had heard all my life.

I believed him, because I had no reason not to.

Our marriage was based on the Bible and our mutual beliefs.  He reminded me what the Bible said about being in a marriage.  I was to submit to my husband.  I was to forgive 7 x’s7 times.  The husband was the head of the wife.  We were to become one flesh.  He reminded me of our vows.  Till death do us part, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer.  He knew how my mind would process these reminders.

My mind processed what I knew from my past and what was now my present. As I mentioned in a previous post, I believe the effects of childhood bullying can lead to how a person feels about themselves and can lead to adult abuse both for the abuser and the abused.

His words were like daggers to my mind.  His actions were even worse.  I remember one time when he got mad at me (for what I don’t remember)…any way, I was sitting on our bed and he started yelling at me and calling me names then said he would burn our room down with me in it.  As I sat on the bed he put his cigarette lighter to the mattress and it caught on fire.  I was so scared but I couldn’t let it show.  I sat there and prayed that God would take me quickly.  By his reactions, I think he surprised himself because he tried to put the fire out as it spread faster and faster.  He did get it out but the memory would stay burning in my mind for years.  It reminded me that I should not ever take for granted anything he said or any of the threats he made. 

He kept me humiliated and feeling like I was a disgrace by his actions and words.  It became a regular ritual for me to come home from work and him make me take my undergarments off so he could inspect them to be sure I hadn’t cheated on him.  He would also “inspect” my private parts for the same reason.  I felt so humiliated because he would then tell me I stink or that my body somehow resembled that of a “w (word)”. On one hand my mind knew that what he said was not true…the things he did were not right, on the other hand my mind was so numb I couldn’t think straight because I was too busy trying to think of how to keep things calm.

 My mind told me to run…and so I tried, only to be brought back.  My mind told me to be scared and yet I had to try to hide my fright.  My mind told me that I had no one to turn to and I was stuck.  My mind told me I was some sort of bad person, although I couldn’t figure out how or what to do, to be the person he wanted.  My mind told me that my life didn’t matter; the only important thing was to protect my children.  My mind told me if I wanted to be loved by the person I loved, I had to be the person he wanted me to be and since I couldn’t be that person, no matter how hard I tried, it would be best if I was no longer.

Your Mind can play tricks on you

These tricks can either protect you or harm you

Believe in yourself

Trust in yourself

Love yourself

It is easier said than do

Read more…

words #4

It’s not your fault,

You didn’t’ know your words would eat away at my heart.

It’s not your fault,

You didn’t’ know your words would break my spirit.

I don’t blame you,

You couldn’t have known.

 

I remember my sister once told me that you should be happy most of the time and have a few unhappy days, when you are in a relationship.  I was unhappy most of the time and lived for the few days when things were good.  I didn’t realize at the time that there was a cycle that I could count on.  I was too busy trying to do everything right to be able to notice anything around me.  The verbal, mental and emotional abuse was something I had to deal with daily.  I did not ever know if I should speak or have an opinion of my own.  I was always on edge.  There would be times when we would be in the middle of a “normal” conversation; everything would be great and then I would say something wrong and everything would change.  If my words were not EXACTLY as he thought I should say them, the accusations and name calling would begin.  We came from different life styles, we came from different cultures and evidently, I didn’t know how to speak or express myself correctly.  I tried so hard to say the right things in the right way…I just couldn’t get it right.  If I talked “too much” or explained things in detail, he would accuse me of treating him like a child.  I have been used to talking in detail with my children and family…we talk and repeat the same thing in several ways.  We analyze and we discuss in detail, however when I spoke this way with my husband, again,  I was accused of treating him like a child and I had to pay the price by being yelled at and called names.  If I tried to explain, it just made matters worse. Even as I write this, I feel my heart start to beat fast because I am afraid I am saying “too much”.   If my children called me, I had to be careful of every word I spoke in fear he might take something wrong. 

I learned how to listen verbatim.  If I paraphrased something and didn’t get it right, he would yell at me for “putting words in his mouth”.  If I said something and then latter changed it, I was “lying” or “up to something”.  If I forgot something, or didn’t remember exactly as it was said days before, I “was stupid” and a “damn liar”.  Anything I got wrong could easily be turned into proof that I was cheating on him or that I was somehow putting him down.  I wasn’t and I couldn’t find a way to show him.

I felt like I was losing my mind.  There were times when I knew something was said or not said.   It may have been that I didn’t remember word for word or that I had a different understanding of what was said then he did; it didn’t matter….I was always wrong.

If I argued what I believed I had heard, I would have to pay with his verbal assult on me.

  I was a “damn liar”; I was a “m…f…”; I was a “c (word)..”;  I was a “b (word)…”;   I was “stupid”; “No one could be that naïve, so I must be lying”;  I was a piece of “s (word)”; I was a “w (word)”;

His anger was so strong and the tone of his voice was so harsh, when he spoke these words to me, I was scared and felt helpless. 

When you are in school, they call it bullying….as an adult it is abuse. Years of hearing the same types of things carried into my adult life reinforcing and strengthening each word and each name as it was yelled at me.

The name calling echoed in my mind every day and it got louder and louder each time the words were repeated.

There was a very fine line between the verbal, emotional and physical abuse.  One crossed right over to the next and any one could trigger the other.

In school we learned

“Sticks n Stones may break your bones,

But words will never hurt you.”

My Daddy always told me

“Don’t care what other people think”

 

Why do his words hurt me so much?

Read more…

Crash #11

Crash #11

DJs Unique Sounc Charities

 

 

Crash #11

 

Imagine your Highest Highs

The most spectacular events of your life

Imagine your Lowest Lows

The worst events of your life

CRASH

Is it better if I had not ever experienced such Highs in my life?  Would it have been better if I had not ever had such high beliefs in someone?  Would it have been better if I had not ever had such high hopes for my future? Would it have been better if I had not ever put my total trust in someone?  Would it have been better if I did not believe in my fairytale marriage?  If I did not experience these things I would not know the blessings of each.  If I did not experience these things I would not have crashed so hard.

I was convinced that God had brought us together.  After all, we would not have ever met unless this was true.  Because of my beliefs, I put all my trust in my husband.  I had always held back my emotions; I had never let my heart out to anyone like I did now.  I remember telling my husband that this was my last chance to find love.  I am 15 years older than he and I convinced myself that if this did not work, I would not ever try again.  Having told myself that, I knew I had to give 1000% of myself, I couldn’t hold anything back, I had to trust and believe in him and our marriage.  I know marriage takes work and I was willing to do what I needed to do.  I knew I was finally going to be happy.  I remember acting like teenagers and it felt so good to be giddy and carefree.  I remember saying people were going to be jealous of our relationship. 

I worked so hard to make our home a place I was proud of.  This was a place where everyone was welcome and everyone could feel the love within the walls of our home.  We had so many plans and dreams and they all began in our home.  Now my house was boarded up.  I was afraid to be home alone.  The security of my home was gone.

There are three things that I had expected most out of our marriage.  I look back now and think maybe I expected too much.  Maybe, it wasn’t fair of me to expect what I did.  These things were important to me and I expressed these things to my husband even before we got married.

The first was that I was extremely lonely.  I hated to go to any family event because I always felt alone.  I was the one person just sitting there with no one to talk with.  I didn’t fit in.  I had to pretend like I was happy, when inside I felt very lonely at ever get together.  Now I would not ever be lonely again.  I looked forward to family events just so I could be with my husband and not be lonely. Now I am lonelier than I have ever been in my life.  It hurts more to be lonely when you are with someone than to be lonely when you are by yourself.

The second was to make sure my Dad knew he never had to worry about me again.  I have had such bad experiences in the past and I always felt like I put worry on my Dad.  I had a husband that promised to love and protect me.  I couldn’t wait for my Dad to meet him so he would know he didn’t ever have to worry about me again.  Now I have caused more worry and pain to my family because of the things that happened.  How can I ever make this up to my Dad?

The third was to have someone love me for who I am.  Someone that would love me no matter what and that I could love back with love unconditional. I had the kind of love that was so strong that my husband would dedicate his life to me and I to him. I was on my highest high and in love “Like the White Light”. I have the experience of love even if it were for only one weekend in St Louis.  I was blessed with that weekend. Now all I have is a memory. 

Everything else was taken from my heart.

 

The things that I lost cannot ever be replaced by anyone except the person that took them

I had everything I ever dreamed of and more

I believed and had hope for my future

All was taken away from me
I Crashed

 

Read more…

Betrayed #12

DJs Unique Sound Charities

Betrayed #12

 

Is it wrong to believe in a person

Is it wrong to think the best of the person

Is it wrong to love someone unconditionally

 

My husband came home and I was in 7th heaven.  I was so excited to begin my long awaited fairytale.  I knew in my heart that we would be okay and our dreams would come true.  We had worked so hard at understanding each other and at studying God’s word so we would live the right way.  The things he did after he came home from prison would destroy all the trust that we had built up while he was gone.  The promises he made, were nothing but words.

After about 2 months, he got mad about something and slapped my face.  I don’t remember what he got mad about; I just remember how shocked I was that he put his hands on me again.  As always, he was sorry and swore it wouldn’t happen again.  He never hit me again.

Soon after this incident I realized that he had started using drugs again.  Things got more bizarre than before.  I don’t know if it is because he was using more or if it was because it was a different type.  I am still naïve to this, but I do know that once again my fairytale became a nightmare and this time it was worse in many ways.  Although he did not hit me again, there were so many other things that were worse.

His paranoia was so intense that it scared me.  I couldn’t reason with him because in his mind his paranoia was real.  The things he saw or suspected were real and of course, I needed to be aware or something might happen to me.  I am not sure if he got high during the day.  I suspect he did and I know he did other things that were totally disrespectful to me and our marriage.  He would get high when I got home from work saying he was only going to “do a little”.  That “little” would last all night.  He would pace around the house in a way that made me scared.  He carried a knife with him at all times and if I tried to sleep I would be woken with him standing over me with the knife in his hands.  He would watch out the back window with binoculars because, as he said, a house in the next neighborhood would turn on or off their lights when he watched.  He would tell me to watch the light and I honestly did not see what he saw but it was real to him.  The most bizarre thing he did was due to his paranoia.  I would be sitting on the couch and if he happened to come into the room and I moved at the same time he walked in, he would get so angry at me and start yelling and cursing.  He was convinced that I had someone inside/or under the couch and I was having sex with them and that is why I moved.  I was so scared by the way he would come at me and turn over the couch to see who was under it.  Again, I couldn’t reason with him because if I tried it would only get him angrier.  If I slept with my legs a bit parted and then closed them because I adjusted in my sleep; that meant I was having sex with someone or something.  I was so afraid to do anything.  I was afraid to sit on the couch or sleep or do anything because I didn’t know how he was going to react.  I soon started to sleep with a knife and carry a knife with me at all times.  I didn’t do this to hurt him; I did it because I swore I would not let him hurt me again.  I would hurt myself first.  I could not live like this again.  I wanted to die but I had to do it in a way that he would not get in trouble for it. 

There came a time when I knew I couldn’t be in the house with him if he was high.  I packed my car with clothes and a jug of water.  I told him that if he got high I would not be there.  He didn’t seem to care.  I slept in my car almost every night because that is where I felt safe.  Sometimes I slept in the driveway of our house and other times I slept in parking lots; it all depended on how scared I was.  After a while, I started sleeping at my job.  I think what hurt the most is that he didn’t care if I was in a parking lot somewhere sleeping in my car.  He didn’t care if I was sleeping on a couch at work.  All he cared about is that he was able to get high. I believe he actually liked for me to be gone because he was cheating on me.  It was no longer just the internet sites, now it was in person and with prostitutes.  I found out that he was paying to have sex with prostitutes on a regular basis.  I cannot explain the hurt this caused me on so many different levels.  First because I believed in him and I believed in our marriage and this showed me he did not have the same beliefs as I did.  Second because he continually accused me of cheating on him and therefore was justified in his mind to hurt me and yet he was the one doing it all along. Third because I remembered what he had told me shortly after we got married…”he would not ever cheat on me unless it was with someone better than me.”  So this is what he thought of me?  A wife who dedicated her life to him, who stuck by him no matter what and he would rather be with a prostitute?

I couldn’t tell my children or anyone else what was going on.  I had to keep this all to myself and therefore hurt by myself.  No one would understand why I didn’t want to get him in trouble.  He continued to tell me he wanted help.  I believed him…he was so convincing.  His problem was getting worse.  His actions were getting worse. 

I have been told that you can’t help someone if they don’t want help.  I tried to help him.  He did not want help.  I finally realized there was nothing I could do to help him.

To love someone unconditionally

Is  to let them be who they want to be

To love someone unconditionally

Might mean to let them go

To love someone unconditionally

Sometimes hurts

 

Read more…

Healing #10

DJs Unique Sound Charities

Healing #10

 

Time to heal

Mentally, physically & emotionally

Time to heal

From the hurt, abuse, & betrayal

Time to heal

So life can go on…

 

We had met the day we got married so we really didn’t know each other.  We were able to change this during the course of the time he was gone.  We were able to use this time to heal and to grow together.  We talked in length about everything that had happened and why.  We discussed how we felt and what we needed to do to help each other.  We learned to trust each other; we learned to believe in each other.  Most of all we used this time to grow in Christ.  Many people would say that everyone finds God in prison.  I say that is great, because it is the story of the prodigal son.  God makes good of all evil if you allow him to and if you believe and ask.  We asked and we believed.  We took this time to start up our non-profit to help others.  We could use our experiences to help someone else.  For that reason it would all be worth it.  God has a reason for all things; this was our reason.  My husband expressed our feelings best when he put the saying on his back…”embracing the struggle”.  I could hope again…I could believe again…I was excited about our future.

It wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen fast.  I was still depressed and struggled to find a way out of my depression.  I had lost my job which caused another level of stress for me, however it turned out to be a blessing because I was able to watch my new grand-daughter.  Every time I looked at her I was reminded of my thoughts of death and how her birth had brought me hope.  She was my angel…She was a blessing…She helped save my life.  I focused on her and how precious she is, I focused my thoughts on my own children and my other grand-children. I focused on my husband and helping him to heal.

One day, while watching my grand-daughter, I was flipping through T.V. channels and accidently came upon a Joyce Meyer telecast.  I am not sure what caught my attention.  I watched the entire episode and knew that God was talking to me. I still had to deal with the guilt I felt for the restraining order.  I still had to deal with the guilt I felt for causing my family pain.  I knew it was time for me to heal and to put the past in the past.  I heard words that I had heard all my life and it reminded me of who I was.  I didn’t ever think I could get into a state of mind that would pull me away from my core beliefs and yet my depression was causing me to not be able to remember these simple beliefs.  I watched the next day and the next and slowly began to feel my heart open and my mind clear.  I felt light…I felt like I could believe again…I felt happiness

It has been proven that there are certain stages that most people go through in order to heal or in grieving a loss.  1st) Denial and Isolation; 2nd) Anger; 3rd) Bargaining; 4th) Depression; 5th) Acceptance.  There is not a set amount of time that each stage should or might last.  There are not any limitation to the severity of each stage.  We are all unique so there is no right or wrong way to get through your loss or your individual hurt.  Everyone I knew gave me advice to help me heal, however they did not realize that I am different; I am unique.  The struggle I had, was to face the fact that I had a right to hurt in my own way and in my own time.  My sister told me this recently and I didn’t realize that what she said was exactly what was causing me pain in my healing process.  I could not change what others thought about my situation, I could only change the way I thought about my situation.  I began to “embrace the struggle”.  I began to remember that God does things for a reason.

The White Light…..It was shining brightly.  I cannot explain the new feelings I had within my heart.  My husband and I had so many plans.  We took this time to heal in a way I didn’t think was possible.  We took this time to grow together.  We were one.  We both wanted the same things and we were ready to work together to achieve them.  The second chapter of my fairytale was becoming a reality.  I was blessed in so many ways and I knew everything is possible with God.

I believed this was a new beginning……no looking back

Was I wrong?

 

Anything bad can be turned into good

It is all in how you look at it

Look on the positive side

And life will be much brighter

Read more…

Broken #3

DJs Unique Sound Charities

Sometimes it's impossible
To leave the past in the past

Sometimes it's impossible

To reach your deepest inner feelings

Sometimes it's impossible

To separate what is real and what is ingrained in you

Because of your past

 

We had a saying ..."I Love you Like the White Light."  By saying this we expressed how our love was pure and beyond anything of this world.  it was from Christ...

W both had a near death experience in our past.  Mine was from a former partner when he tried to kill me, by strangling me.  The white light was so beautiful and peaceful.  The feeling is beyond anything that can be explained in words.  I remember asking God to take me, I was ready to go.  I wanted to go and experience the peace that the white light was offering me.  He didn't take me, however he did give me something that I didn't realize at the time.  He gave me strength to know that I was not afraid of dying.  The peaceful feeling I had at that moment would give me strength to face what lie ahead.

The fairytale was fast becoming a nightmare....the white light was fast fading into a black hole that I couldn't escape.

I opened my heart to my "fairytale husband".  Before we got married he had asked me to tell him of every relationship I had been in.  I told him if our marriage depended on me telling him, we should not marry.  I told him I was afraid of him using this against me.   I knew...why didn't  I believe in my own instincts.

After we got married, he made me feel like I could tell him everything.  He made me believe that in order to be one, we had to be totally honest and open with each other.  I told him how all my life I had been told how ugly I am.  I told him about my previous abuse.  I told him about my being raped on more than one occasion.  I told him about all the mean and hateful things that were said to me.  I told him specifics and in great detail.  I told him because he made me believe in him.. I believed I could be me and he would still love me.  I let out my heart to him.  It felt so good to be able to express myself to someone in such detail.  I could let out all those repressed feelings that I have carried all my life... those feelings that eat away at you little by little.   The feelings that you don't dare speak out loud because if you do, they will become real to someone else and you will be found out.  The feelings that you hold in a secret part of your heart; because to speak them out loud would be to acknowledge their truth.  I told him how everything made me feel...I told him everything because I finally felt like I had someone I could trust  that would understand me and that loved me enough to care.  In telling him my inner most feelings were somehow released... I could be happy...I didn't have to be ashamed of who I was.

I had no idea he would use everything I told him against me.  I had no idea he was addicted to crack.  I had no idea of what lay ahead.

He used to say something on a daily basis

"signs and symbols for the conscience mind...if you cannot see, you are truly blind"

I didn't see the signs...He said these words to me on a daily basis, why did I not see the signs before it was too late.

It started with mental and verbal abuse.  The things he said to break me down.  I should have seen the signs.  These types of things were said to me before.  He would tell me I was lying when I  knew I was not...he would tell me of the things he had done in his past to keep me scared and aware of his capabilities.  It was so subtle and he did it in such a loving way that I didn't notice him using my insecurities against me.  He would accuse me of cheating on him and when I tried to explain that I have not cheated on him he would bring up my past.  I couldn't believe this was happening because it was exactly as I predicted before we even got married ... something he promised would not ever happen.

The accusations became more and more frequent, the tone of his voice changed from loving to hateful.  He would hang on to my every word and if I said something incorrectly he yelled with such a harsh voice that I was afraid to speak for fear of saying the wrong thing.  I began to feel like there was something wrong with me as he made sure I knew that he acted the way he did, because of me.  If I questioned this he would say something like..."you don't even see the things you do" or "don't you even hear yourself".  I tried so hard to stay calm because if I dared to cry, he would say something like, " I don't want to hear that fake ass sh**."  I began to feel that I could not do or say anything right.  It didn't help that I had started menopause and my emotions were totally out of control.  When or if I tried to explain to him that I was changing ...my body was changing, he would get mad and tell me that has known plenty of women and they did not act the way I did.  He said my body smelled and insisted it smelled of sex and that I had been cheating on him.  I was so embarrassed and I couldn't fix the problem because what he accused me of was not true.  What was wrong with me?  Why couldn't I be the person he wanted?

It started...I was 'walking on eggshells.'  I always felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest, my nerves were gone and I felt like my insides were always shaking and ready to shut down.  I felt like I couldn't think straight; I couldn't ever say the right things; I couldn't express my feelings or emotions; I couldn't be me...because no matter what I did or said, it always seemed to be the wrong thing.  I must be a bad person...there must be something wrong with me since he is not the first person who has said these things...I have heard such things throughout my life.  How could this be happening when he was the person  that made me feel so special and now I felt worse than I had ever felt in my life.  I couldn't face my family or friends because to express what I was going through would be to admit I was a failure. 

I was alone.......My spirit was broken

I am who I am

Because of my past

I am who I am

Because of my beliefs

I am who I am

Because I can only be me

 

If God be for me

What man can be against me?

Read more…

4 Reasons to Set Fabulous Goals

(From my book, How to Change Your Mindset + Live Your Most Fabulous Life)

Goal setting is the first step in successful goal achievement. If you don’t set goals, the other steps in achieving them can’t happen. A few reasons you need goals:

  1. They provide clarity on your vision. By not having goals in life, you’ll just be running around without ever accomplishing anything for yourself. You first have to create what you want in your mind (by setting the goal), and then your desires can become a reality.
  2. Goals give you one focal point to concentrate on. While your vision and purpose gives you a wide focus, your goals provide laser focus on what, exactly, you need to spend your energy and time on.
  3. They move you forward. They represent the inner desires that motivate you and are what push you to keep going when things get rough.
  4. Goals help you become the best version of yourself (your most Fabulous you!). They can help you reach your highest potential, and without them, you subject yourself to the normal, daily actions that make you feel comfortable and safe. And while those actions may feel good, they keep you from growing and don’t allow you to be the best you that you can be.

Have a goal you want to achieve but need assistance getting started? Or, do you need someone to hold you accountable for taking action on your goals? Goal-getter Sessions are for you! Learn more here, or email me: coaching (at) jamieflemingdixon (dot) com.

 

 

Dreamer. Lover of life. Goal getter. These are just a few words to describe Jamie Fleming-Dixon, inspirational writer, blogger, editor and F.A.B. Life Strategist. She is the founder and editor-in-chief of For Colored Gurls, a blog that inspires and empowers women to live their most Fabulous lives. Additionally, she is owner of Mocha Writer, a boutique copy editing and proofreading service.

Jamie is also the author of How to Change Your Mindset + Live Your Most Fabulous Life, a motivational book, providing practical tips for creating a more positive mindset and living the life of one's dream. She has been featured in several websites, blogs, magazines and Blog Talk Radio Shows, including TheCEOMamma.com, AfroElle Magazine and Prominence Magazine and was recently named one of the 2012 50 Fabulous Women Entrepreneurs on BBWO (Black Business Women Online). Get inspired on her blog, ForColoredGurls.com.

 

Read more…

 

21 speakers to EMPOWER Christian Women and Entrepreneurs during My Extraordinary Life and Business Success Telesummit

 

Christian Women are encouraged to step up and catapult their personal, spiritual and business growth via an empowering virtual (online) Event. Experience Rejuvenation, Transformation, Empowerment and Spiritual Renewal during this no cost event.

 

(Press Release) – Sept 11, 2012 – Imagine receiving insight from 21 savvy spiritually empowered experts in various fields that will catapult your personal, spiritual and business growth from the comfort of your home. The information shared is valued at thousands, however, you won’t pay that. The cost of this empowering event is FREE! Discover insider tips and strategies without the hype.

 

Why free? Robin Tramble the host of this event is passionate about empowering women to discover their authentic self, get unstuck, laser focused, so they can show up bold, brilliant, confident and empowered to get out there in BIG while prospering and making a difference in the world “authentically!”

 

My Extraordinary Life and Business Success Telesummit will include topics on business success, social media, life balance, health and fitness, mindset, empowerment, 6 figure manifestation, feminine, overcoming challenges and more. These fired up experts will share insights on breaking through to your Extraordinary Life and Business Success.

 

Our featured speakers include:

Diane Cunningham


Chris Makell

Michele Scism

 

Plus 16 more!

 

We invite you to take advantage of this empowering event. Your life will be enriched and your personal, spiritual and business growth will be catapulted!

Realize Rejuvenation, Transformation, Empowerment and Spiritual Renewal.

 

Of course we encourage you to make all of the calls, however, you will have access to the replay for a limited time. If you desire to secure a permanent copy for your collection you will be given an opportunity to do so.

 

You have nothing to lose and so much to gain!

 

My Extraordinary Life and Business Success Telesummit is sponsored by Robin Tramble International, World Wide Visibility Social Media and The Authentic Triple A.A.A. Woman Network. To secure your FREE VIP ticket go to

http://www.myextraordinarylifeandbusiness.com

 

 

We look forward to having you join us!

 

# # #

 

Robin Tramble works with Christian Women Leaders, Entrepreneurs, Coaches, Speakers and Authors who want to discover their authentic self so they can make big changes or achieve some big results but are struggling to make it happen fast enough. She helps them get unstuck, laser focused, so they can show up bold, brilliant, confident and empowered to get their message out there in BIG way while prospering and making a difference in the world “authentically!”

 

Robin is CEO and Founder of Robin Tramble International, She’s a Professional “Authentic” Empowerment Specialist, Trainer, Coach and Public Speaker. Robin is also known as Empowerment Diva because she has carved out a niche in the area of empowerment. She has shared her empowerment tips on Good Day Sacramento as “Empowerment Diva” and was named 1 of 25 urban Entrepreneurs to follow on Twitter by Brand maker News. Robin has also upgraded her Social Proof with a certification as a Social Media Marketing Campaign Specialist to further support her commitment to helping Women get their message out there in a big way “authentically!”

 

Robin is also an accomplished keyboardist, singer and songwriter and plans to incorporate her musical gifts with her resources for women’s empowering personal development.

 

— end —

Read more…

10 Keys to Uncommon Living

We all want to live the uncommon life. I know I do. As a coach, I value change and reinvention. I believe change is necessary for energizing your soul. The one thing I know is that changing your perspective is key to an uncommon life. In order to see the fluidity of life, you must see it through a new eye. This may require daily refocusing. It's like refreshing your eye "browser." We need to refresh every now and then with a new direction, new relationships, new knowledge, new assignments and whatever else that will jumpstart us out of the common to the uncommon. If you are responding to life out of the old eye, allow me to share some concepts on how to live the uncommon life.

  • It's important to see yourself as a brand. You are your own message. Ask yourself, "what am I saying to people when they encounter me? Who and what do you represent? Make the appropriate adjustments to deliver the right message.
  • It's important to reinvent yourself 2-3 times in your life because there is so much more untapped potential on the inside of you that it will take your whole lifespan to bring it out.
  • You must be active in the game of life - you must keep going because success comes through working it out. Giving up is not an option unless you know that you are absolutely in the wrong place. And even then, take what you've learned in that place and keep moving forward.
  • Stop looking at the mountain top and purpose in your heart to start at the level you know you fit. Then, advance up the mountain one step at a time. Cover all of your bases.
  • Figure out what your goals are because doing nothing will cost you. Create weekly, monthly, yearly goals.
  • You can get what you want as a long as you can help other people to get what they want. In other words, don't live a selfish life. What you do for others, God will make happen for you.
  • Listen to your dissatisfaction. Sometimes when you are unsatisfied, your heart may be trying to tell you something. Don't override your internal alarm system.
  • You must see things that normal people don't see. Train your eye to see beyond what is there. Examine the different territories that you find yourself in and create from what you see.
  • Learn to give more than you have. God's economy is vastly different than the world's economy. It doesn't make sense to give when you don't have anything, but when you sow into people's lives, you shall reap. It's the law of nature.
  • Move away from people who don't believe in you and who don't agree with the plan for your life. Otherwise they will pull on your motivation and enthusiasm. Stay connected to people who bring light into your life.

Want to know more about how to live an uncommon life using what's already on the inside of you, visit www.unlimitedcoaching4you.com for more information. Do you want to become a coach, a new Become a Certified Coach program in life coaching and health and wellness is about to start in September. Contact me for more information.

 

Read more…

Create Your Rule To Live By

Hello and welcome to The BWRB, the official website for The Black Woman's Rule Book.  This website was created for women of color across the nation and around the world to share the Rule They Live By.Do you have a Rule To Live By?  Think back to your childhood, is there one thing that you were always told that still holds true today.  Maybe it was say your prayers before you go to bed, cross your legs when wearing a skirt, or what about the all too familiar, sit up straight.  As an adult,  is there a lesson you have learned that you still stand firm on no matter what?  This is what The BWRB is all about.  Tell us your rules, your lessons and the stories behind them, so that women around the  world can share, teach and learn from each other.What's my Rule?  Keep Good People Around You.  My rule didn't always have a name.  When developing my own, I thought back to my childhood and tried to recall lessons that I was always taught.  Taking it a step further, I started to remember the people in my life that always influenced, motivated, supported and encouraged me.  And that's how I came up with, "Keep Good People Around You".  Which is the rule that I stand on.  Good people are always going to tell you the truth, whether you want to hear it or not.  Good people are always going to support you no matter what and Good people will always look out for your best interest.Take some time to think about your own rule and what it has meant to your life, how it has helped you or someone you know.  Tell the story behind it and go to the Submit your Rule page of http://thebwrb.com, for an opportunity to be featured in our upcoming book, The Black Woman's Rule Book.  What Rule Do You Live By?Love and Gratitude,The Black Woman's Rule Book,Http://thebwrb.com/
Read more…

EVOLV

http://infinityofwealth.com/blog/

If you are looking to get out of the rat race, you are at the right place at the right time. Getting Healthy and gaining wealth at the same time is absolutly fabulous. It is life everylasting. Move Forward NOW and let no one stop you from succeeding. The rat race is over now come EVOLV.

Read more…

The Cost of Not Pursuing Your Passion

So many of us are unhappy and unsatisfied with how we are managing our lives. Though most of us are grateful for the ability to have an income during this tough economic season, I believe the #1 desire is to do what you love to do. A great percentage of time and energy is directed toward doing alot of busy work. Unfortunately when that's the case, we have no say so in the qualty of life for 7-12 hours of the day. That's a whole lot of time doing what you know doesn't offer satisfaction.

Operating in your passion is the most important thing you can do in life, because it causes something on the inside of you to bubble up. You feel euphoric. You're motivated, inspired and built up and you have a feeling of satisfaction at the end of the day, not dread that you got through it.

So what occurs when you are not connected to your passion?

  • You have no joy. It's all over your face.
  • You lose your sharpness.
  • You take less risks in life because you don't see the benefit of going against the grain.You become comfortable with where you are and what you're doing. You have found a way to be comfortable even though you are unhappy, joyless and unmotivated.
  • You miss out on opportunities to reach people with your gifts and talents. You're not changing lives. At the end of the day, you should ask yourself,"whose life have I changed today?"

You know I can list more, but I think you get the message. We were not created to live this way. I've found that people who are passionate about life are:

  • Productive daily.
  • They are not afraid.
  • They follow their calling, take risks, and see challenges as opportunities to expand.
  • They are in synch with who they really are and it's revealed in what they say, do and think.

Until you discover your core DNA, you are living a life of mediocrity. Take intentional steps to do the great things you were meant to do. You owe it to yourself!

 

 

Read more…

The Pathway To Your Joy In Two Words

Have you ever wondered how people live such awesome lives.  They have great wealth, abundant joy, successful marriage, nice house, wonderful spouse, great friends, awesome kids, beautiful cars, and travel the world year round, the list is endless.  Have you ever wondered how they achieved it all. Some might say they worked hard for it, they inherited it or they got lucky.  There is a strong commonality in the lives of those who live life abundantly and it is a belief that dates back hundreds of years.  Books have been written about this topic for ages and it is available to everyone who can apply it's rules to their life. All you have to do is INTEND IT!That's right, intend it.  Whatever you want for your life, you must intend it. Let's take a look at the meaning of the word. To have in mind as something to be done or brought about.  You 100% intend to have a wonderful life, intend to have a loving marriage, intend to be successful, intend to be great, intend to be healthy, intend to be happy!  For all the things you want for your life intend it.  Expect that it will happen and remain focused on only those things.  Don't allow any contradiction, doubt, disbelief or denial to enter your mind.  Dismiss those thoughts immediately and replace them with the positive thinking that what you want is on it's way, everything you need is flowing into your life right now.  And feel good about it, get excited about it!Go to a quiet room in your home, take a pen and paper with you.  Now, sit quietly and think about what you desire most for your life.  Be very clear with yourself, be very specific.  Now that your mind has become clear on what you want, write it down and read these thoughts everyday.  When you do this continue to imagine yourself where you want to be, continue to remain positive and continue to feel good about it and watch it appear in your life.  And finally, be grateful and thankful for what your life already has, so that you can continue to feel this way when your life begins to produce more for you.With Love and Gratitude,The Black Woman's Rule BookHttp://thebwrb.com/
Read more…

Hello? Is it you we're looking for?

If you have a stellar product or service you would like featured in a specialized guide, please join Suite369 on Tuesday, June 20th at 12pm EST for a quick information session. If you can't attend the call live, please register so that you may receive the replay. There will be a drawing amongst live participants... Register here: http://suite369.biz/LPShPW

Event planners, personal chefs, caterers, bakers, confectioners, tutors, children's book authors, clothing lines & boutiques, vintage retailers, costumers, stylists (hair/wardrobe), make up artists, life/business coaches, photographers, videographers, venue owners, bartenders, novelty item retailers... << this includes you and more.

Read more…

Spiritual Empowerment: Encourage Yourself

Encourage Yourself

© 2012 Robin Tramble

Do you find yourself overjoyed, excited and passionate
about the things Father God has called you to do only to
discover when life happens that you cannot sustain your
joy, excitement and passion?

Don’t feel bad this happens to us all. One thing you must know
is that it is not to be sustained within your own strength. We must
lean on Father God’s strength, tap into FAITH and allow Him to
work through us. Even knowing this there will be times that you just
can’t pull it together to persevere. Life may happen and hit you so hard
that you just don’t see your way.

I’d like to direct you to a story in the bible. It’s a story about David.
And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.

David’s men murmured and complained some even turned against him. David had every reason to do the same, to give up and to lose heart, however, he trusted in God, encouraged himself and found himself promoted not long after.

What is it that has your heart heavy? Do you know your Father God? This is where we miss it. We know about the bible, what the bible says about God, however, we don’t truly know God. Learn more about Him, know His names. Here are a few….

Jehovah Jireh “The Lord God who provides” Jehovah Shammah “The God who is always there” El Shaddai “More than enough, able to reverse natural law and accelerate time!” Baal Perizim God of Breakthrough as unto a flood, Jehovah Shalom “God of Peace, nothing missing, nothing broken, wholeness in every area of our life!” Jehovah Rapha “God our healer” Hallelujah, praise God and AMEN.

You may know a few more. Encourage yourself by exalting His name, encourage yourself through worship, praise, prayer, reading the word of God. Encourage yourself by remembering how He’s brought you through, made a way out of no way! Encourage yourself by journaling what you’re grateful for. Got it?

Alright. Be encouraged. God is with you!
______________________________________________________________
Want to use this article in your newsletter,Ezine on our website
or blog? You can as long as you include the blurb below and retrieve
the entire post
Robin Tramble empowers Savvy Women, aspiring, new and enterprising
women entrepreneurs to manifest their bold, brilliant, confident and empowered
self, get laser focused, get out there in a BIG way, while prospering and making
a difference in the world “authentically!” You can experience a taste of her
EMPOWERMENT via her 6 day ecourse “Empowered 4 success” http://bit.ly/empowered4success 

 _______________________________________________________________________

I’d like to encourage you with a special gift offer. My No Limite Empowerment Digital Series. It was an empowering virtual event for dynamic women who raised their hand, invested a small fee to receive from my ministry and business gifts for their personal, spiritual and professional empowerment. You can own this series for $1.97 for a limited time. That’s right only $1.97. I’d like to invest in you and your empowering success. Click here now to invest in your copy of this Empowering series. You’ll receive 2 spiritual empowerment audios that include empowering insights and a powerful prayer at the end. Thank you for raising your hand to glean from my ministry and business expertise.

 

 

Read more…

Hello friends in the business world..I am Annie...its been a long time since I've been on here ...I have 2 kids ages 5 and 7.  I am certified CNA(which is my full time) and Im certified EKG.  I work Part-time(for now) as an Independent Rep for Primerica. If I knew then what I knew now I should've been in this field a long time ago... I started as a Rep and now I am a senior Rep...my next goal is to pass the state exam to become a licensed life insurance agent which would lead me to district...guys its an awesome opportunity...  A friend of mine died March 2nd, 2012.  We were suppose to meet to discuss about him getting a policy on him and his little daughter...I didnt get chance to talk to him..our schedules didnt match.Yall let me just say that when I found out that he passed(test driving a motorcycle)..it hurt me to my heart...My friend is gone too soon b/c I waited too long.. R.I.P..my friend.  Now my mind is on helping people make the right choice b/c you never know when its your time...I am looking for 20 people to join me in becoming a light for those who need it....If you would like to work to help families as well as yourself please contact me.

I do travel to meet with groups of people to hold life insurance classes if you would like to book with me and hold group meetings, company meetings please let me know.... if you would like quotes on life insurance please let me know..always looking for bright people to join my team...get chance to meet like-minded individuals making a difference in this world....one love ..thanks

Read more…

 

Where can women find reliable resources to assist in the realization of empowerment “Spirit, soul and body?” Robin Tramble aka The Empowerment Diva launches a 6 week ecoaching program “Extraordinary woman, Extraordinary life!”

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 

Apr 20 2012 - 
Where can women find reliable resources to assist in the realization of empowerment “Spirit, soul and body?”  Robin Tramble aka The Empowerment Diva launches a 6 week  ecoaching program “Extraordinary woman, Extraordinary life!”


Elk Grove, CA  April 20, 2012 – Women are becoming overwhelmed as a result of the economic downturn and some are finding themselves stuck, unable to grasp hold of the energy and persistence to move forward. Some are becoming sole earners in their homes as husbands are in transition from either being laid off or other reasons that have led to their current unemployment.  Although it has been stated that we may see relief, women are still needing and wanting programs and systems that will assist them in their endeavor to live their best empowered life, allowing them to thrive in the midst of any financial crisis, according to Robin Tramble, CEO and Visionary of Robin Tramble International.


“It is apparent that there is an echo, a sound of fear, confusion, discouragement and possible defeat. You can choose to survive or take action and thrive in 2012! Empowerment is a choice and women must become decisive action taking women if they're going to manifest their best empowered life.”  Having experienced some of the same things and now living a life of empowerment through learned systems and experience I can passionately share strategies and keys to discover your authentic self, get unstuck, overcome overwhelm, fear and how to stay focused in crisis. I have also been rewarded with witnessing the impact it has had on raising 4 children who are now all successful in their own rights.


The Empowerment Diva mentors, trains and coaches savvy women, aspiring, new and enterprising entrepreneurial women as they strive to realize their personal, spiritual and professional goals. Robin Tramble The Empowerment Diva is currently launching a 6 week eCoaching program complete with Bonus live calls for exponential personal, spiritual and business growth.


The three components are Spiritual workout, Body works and prosper your soul (mind, will and emotions)..

The Extraordinary woman, Extraordinary life ecoaching program is an excellent resource for women who desire to be equipped with keys and strategies to empower them to move to another level in their lives manifesting maximum empowerment and becoming an extraordinary woman leading an extraordinary life. When you take care of the internal structure you are laying a sure foundation for the external which renders a great return for business and ministry success.


“It’s the place to be for breakthrough results and to join with like-minded women from across the world in one place striving for their best empowered extraordinary life” Says Robin Tramble

Enrollment is being received here http://bit.ly/extraordinarywomanprogram


# # #

About Robin Tramble International

Robin Tramble aka The Empowerment Diva is a definitive resource for savvy women, aspiring, new and enterprising entrepreneurial women. The Empowerment Diva passionately empowers women to live their best empowered life via a vast array of empowering resources for the express purpose of assisting them as they strive to realize their dreams and desires. 

Robin Tramble is qualified to mentor women in their life empowerment journey through her training, experience in the work force, education, working at home and personal experiences. 

Robin Tramble is also an author and recoding artist and plans to creatively combine her music into another empowering resource for women.

 

Find out more about here at http://www.Authenticlifeempowerment.com


--- end ---

 

Read more…

An unhealthy soul can destroy your life!

How’s your soul? Do you need a healing for your soul (mind, will and emotions)? An unhealthy soul will cause you to display disempowering habits. An unhealthy soul will render unhealthy relationships. An unhealthy soul can block the anointing. An unhealthy soul can block “The blessing!” Soul Prosperity is what you need.

Unchain Your Soul Prosperity!

What does a healthy soul have to do with prosperity? Well we read in the word Beloved I wish above all things that you would prosper and be in health EVEN as your soul prospers. It wasn’t coincidental that Father God added, “even as your soul prospers.” He was very specific about the fact that you should be prospering your soul. Are you intentional about your soul prosperity? No prosperity isn’t just about money it’s actually abundance in every area of your life!

If you’re having a challenge in your relationships, business, ministry, your life, you might want to take a peak at your soul and don’t just peak at it do something about it.

Your soul comprises of your mind, will and emotions. An unhealthy soul is at the very core of some of your self sabotage, it is what separates the empowered,fruitful child of God from the one that is up and down, pretentious, unfruitful, unstable and more.

Isn’t it time you had a healing for your soul?

If you enjoyed this Sunday Inspiration and you want to go deeper, I invite you to join other dynamic women and I for the next call in my Telesries entitled “Be unstoppable. Healing for your Soul! The 7 irrefutable keys to unchain your soul prosperity.”

If you’re not registered go here to gain access to this power-packed, empowering and transformational event for women.

When: Wednesday, April 18 at 1:00 PT, 3:00 CT, 4:00 ET. Can’t make the live call? The replay will be available to all registrants.

Say this “I’m living the Extraordinary, Glorious and Blessed Life!”

______________________________________________________________

Want to use this article in your newsletter,Ezine on our website or blog? You can as long as you include the blurb below and retrieve the entire post. Robin Tramble empowers Savvy Women, aspiring, new and enterprising women entrepreneurs to manifest their bold, brilliant, confident and empowered self, get laser focused, get out there in a BIG way, while prospering and making a difference in the world “authentically!” You can experience a taste of her EMPOWERMENT via her 6 day ecourse “Empowered 4 success”http://bit.ly/empowered4success

Read more…

Is Women's Empowerment Really Necessary?


10744078098?profile=original

Empowerment refers to increasing the spiritual, political, social, or economic strength of individuals and communities. It often involves the empowered developing confidence in their own capacities. Wikipedia

Do you think women’s empowerment is even necessary? What are your thoughts about empowerment? We are so accustomed to running with new concepts, theories and such that we fail to fully understand the true essence. I believe this is what happens with the concept of women’s empowerment.

The process of empowerment The process which enables individuals/groups to fully access personal/collective power, authority and influence, and to employ that strength when engaging with other people, institutions or society. In other words, “Empowerment is not giving people power, people already have plenty of power, in the wealth of their knowledge and motivation, to do their jobs magnificently We define empowerment as letting this power out (Blanchard, K).” It encourages people to gain the skills and knowledge that will allow them to overcome obstacles in life or work environment and ultimately, help them develop within themselves or in the society. Wikipedia

If you are going to be equipped for the mission you’ve set forth for your business and life, empowerment is a needed ingredient in your recipe for the realization of a juicy manifestation of empowering success.

Show me a woman who is empowered and I’ll show you an unstoppable woman.

Empowerment is a choice. Empowerment doesn’t chase you down and beg to be part of your journey. You must choose to seek out resources that will allow you to maximize your empowerment.

You are a spirit, you have a soul and you live in a body. Each must be nurtured if they’re going to be and remain strong, even so for your personal, spiritual and business life. This has been said to be a male dominated world and as such women must become empowered to stand in their own power, to step up and play a bigger game. You must be confident in yourself and the gifts that you have to offer to the world. Let’s take it a step further for those of you who may be dealing with fear, when you are confident of God in you it “trumps” fear.

Is women’s empowerment necessary? Yes, if you’re going to have a competitive advantage and differentiate yourself in the marketplace. Whether you’re in the corporate world, a work at home mom, woman entrepreneur, stay at home mom, wife, leader in ministry, single mom, executive etc. make the choice for maximum empowerment today!

Here’s a biblical reference to empowerment . . . In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides]. Ephesians 6:10 Amplified version

If you’re ready right now to take charge of your life, join dynamic women and I for my Teleseries “Revealed: Essential Divalicious Success Secrets for an Extraordinary Life and Business.” Click here to learn more and get started.

Create and Enjoy Empowering Success. Say yes to The Rich Life, Best Life, Good Life, and Extraordinary Glorious Life!

What does empowerment mean to you?

Read more…



Is it me or is our life filled with nos? It begins as a toddler. No sally, no Jim, no Tijuana, no marcelle, no, no, no! I found myself saying no when raising my children sometimes without thinking. I soon became intentional about saying yes. I mean how bad could it be to have 2 chocolate chip cookies instead of one, stay an extra hour at a friend’s when you agreed upon 2 etc.?

On another note we often catch our children, loved ones doing something wrong. I happened upon a statement that suggested we catch our children doing good. Soooo I vowed that I would watch for and catch my children doing good. You should have seen their little eyes light up when I made a big fuss over them doing good.

How’s your life going? Are you realizing your desired just because? Have training opportunities come your way and without even a thought you say no by neglecting to invest or worse coming up with excuses why you can’t do it right now? And I’m not saying that there aren’t valid reasons for why one is not in the market to invest yet.

What about your health? You desire to acquire the taste for healthy meals, an active lifestyle as opposed to a sedentary lifestyle. You say no by avoiding the task of developing a healthy menu, scheduling in time to do exercises that fit your lifestyle, reading about alternate foods to boost your metabolism instead of loading you up with carbs, sugar, empty calorie foods and such.

Do you see what I’m saying?

I challenge you to say Yes! Yes to the Rich Life, Good Life, Best Life, Extraordinary Glorious Life! Be Unstoppable.

Watch the video. Do the Divalicious Yes Dance and join me for my next call. Click here to request access to my Women’s Empowerment FREE Teleseries.

And if you want to go deeper, consider saying yes to more by investing in The Extraordinary Woman, Extraordinary Life ecoaching program with bonus live calls.

 

 

 

Read more…

Blog Topics by Tags

Monthly Archives