Let me start off by saying if you leave me a funky comment (lol), I’m going to assume you just read the title GOT really offended and decided to go OFF on me before I put You On to some things I’ve heard, learned, and experienced as far as working with black women online.
Now before I go any further, let me be clear (as I’m sure you already know this), I am a black women entrepreneur / blogger who works mainly with black women, but what a LOT of black women are telling me is that folks tell them “Don’t Work With Black Women (Period).” Sistas you know this, you’ve heard it, and maybe you believe it …. point being that’s what folks are saying.
The rub or the kicker here is THAT many black women that I work with, myself included feel compelled to work with other black women or women of color in general. While there is a stigma around it and not much money in it (on the surface it seems) we are driven to do it. The fact is that as black women we know that we aren’t as targeted by mainstream media as much as we would like, so many of us with visions of changing the world feel compelled to do our part to put black women in the forefront of the conversation. The only problem here is that we as all know words DON’T pay the bills, so while we are trying to DO PRO-BLACK WOMAN Things online that make us feel like our destinies are being fulfilled we are coming up against the whispers, worries, and the realities surrounding the idea ‘Don’t Work With Black Women (Period)’.
So what is the REAL Problem here and what is my point? I’m about to air out our dirty laundry y’all, so excuse me while I open the windows (because it’s going to get funky lol). With the recession and even a few years before it, we have seen a growing number of black women entrepreneurs (especially online). Many black women entrepreneurs online see the net as a space where we can afford to create our visions in the form of blogs, coaching, books, movies, fashion, etc. BUT many of us are having a hard time getting the job done. Either the large companies don’t see our market as a market that pays (so we can't get big sponsors and ad contracts like well let's be real - white bloggers online) OR we aren’t buying black amongst ourselves for an exhausting list of reasons. You’ve heard it before, everybody wants to work with you or be on your website BUT they can’t afford to pay or don’t THINK they need what you’re offering. SO in the end we just have a growing number of black women online with amazing ideas and absolutely no profit generators. A small group of us figure out how to rise above the pack, stick in there for years and keep going while the rest quietly fade away, because no one was really looking at them in the first place.
I had to get that out because that my friends is the truth. We groan about it in our homes, write about it on our blogs, vent about it amongst each other, but that’s how it is which is why folks keep screaming, ‘Don’t Work With Black Women !’ and you know what I do …. (lol) I work with black women. I am determined to work with this group on my terms because I know if I do anything else… if I fake it and focus on white women or just everybody so I’m more main stream, I’ll get frustrated like many of my sista bloggers and feel like I’m selling out. I know if I force it and just pitch to black women with corporate gigs and nice pocket books, I’ll look fake because that isn’t who I am. I know I’ll lose it all if I try to be anything other than who I am because in the end all the posers trying to sell things and be who they aren’t STILL aren’t making money so in the end isn’t it better to be happy by my own standards than try to live up to or fall into everyone else’s?
Yes! I say yes, because it’s working for me. No, I’m not a six figure sister yet and I won’t lie to you and say that I am. No, I am not getting even everyone on board, even with all my buzz. As a matter of fact, I started my SistaSense Circle to focus on working with 10 black sistas who want to learn about this stuff and you know what… of the thousands of women in my circle I only have 5 sistas who are on board, but that’s OK… because I know we’ve got a lot of issues separating us… I know it is not easy even having a circle of thousands of black women to get us to support one another, invest in our businesses, and build up what we are doing because HELL we have had hundreds of years of poverty, slavery, and self-destructive negativity beat us down so much that it’s going to take more than just a few emails from me to convince sistas my circle is where they need to be. BUT guess what…
I work with Black Women (Period)
Because I don’t see it as out of thousands of black women online I just got 5 women in my circle. I see it as out of millions of black women in this world, these 5 women chose me. They believe in me, they are inspired by me, they are excited about what we are going to do together in the next 4 works and that makes me happy because this is what I want to do. And they are exactly the type of people I’ve always wanted to work with.
And what makes this absolutely fabulous is at the end of the day I am still working, and what I do is still working without big names to back me, without big companies to sponsor me, without a 9 to 5 job to balance me, without a friend or family member to finance me I have built something authentic that allows me to work with Black Women on my terms as an established business owner. I’m not free, I’m not cheap, and I’m not over the top expensive I’m just exactly the person I could afford which is why I speak to the women who need me and invest in themselves because they know working with me is a realistic option.
I’ve got no fancy dresses to put on. No glam shots or big house to stand in front of. All I’ve got is my brain, my smile, and my truth. My bills are paid; my car note is cool, my babies looking cute and my families doing fine. I think by those standards alone I am doing exactly what I know so many of my hard working, online black women are striving to do but cannot and for that alone I am truly blessed … truly thankful that God keeps giving me the vision and the strength to just be me. And along the way, if I am helping more black women work through these challenges and get the online world working for them, that means by my standards my destiny has truly been fulfilled.
I’ve been building black websites online for over 10 years now. By some folks standards I haven’t been seen yet, by my standards I know for my people I’m already in their line of vision. As my hubby always tells me, I am a pioneer and I guess he’s right. What I am telling you, Innovators do exactly what they are NOT told to do. So if you are struggling with your authenticity, if you are struggling with your visibility, if you are struggling to make it online and make online work for you listen to yourself, be yourself (period).
Related To This Post:
This is just the beginning of this conversation y'all... like it or not ... share your thoughts -lh
Let me start off by saying if you leave me a funky comment (lol), I’m going to assume you just read the title GOT really offended and decided to go OFF on me before I put You On to some things I’ve heard, learned, and experienced as far as working with black women online.
Now before I go any further, let me be clear (as I’m sure you already know this), I am a black women entrepreneur / blogger who works mainly with black women, but what a LOT of black women are telling me is that folks tell them “Don’t Work With Black Women (Period).” Sistas you know this, you’ve heard it, and maybe you believe it …. point being that’s what folks are saying.
The rub or the kicker here is THAT many black women that I work with, myself included feel compelled to work with other black women or women of color in general. While there is a stigma around it and not much money in it (on the surface it seems) we are driven to do it. The fact is that as black women we know that we aren’t as targeted by mainstream media as much as we would like, so many of us with visions of changing the world feel compelled to do our part to put black women in the forefront of the conversation. The only problem here is that we as all know words DON’T pay the bills, so while we are trying to DO PRO-BLACK WOMAN Things online that make us feel like our destinies are being fulfilled we are coming up against the whispers, worries, and the realities surrounding the idea ‘Don’t Work With Black Women (Period)’.
So what is the REAL Problem here and what is my point? I’m about to air out our dirty laundry y’all, so excuse me while I open the windows (because it’s going to get funky lol). With the recession and even a few years before it, we have seen a growing number of black women entrepreneurs (especially online). Many black women entrepreneurs online see the net as a space where we can afford to create our visions in the form of blogs, coaching, books, movies, fashion, etc. BUT many of us are having a hard time getting the job done. Either the large companies don’t see our market as a market that pays (so we can't get big sponsors and ad contracts like well let's be real - white bloggers online) OR we aren’t buying black amongst ourselves for an exhausting list of reasons. You’ve heard it before, everybody wants to work with you or be on your website BUT they can’t afford to pay or don’t THINK they need what you’re offering. SO in the end we just have a growing number of black women online with amazing ideas and absolutely no profit generators. A small group of us figure out how to rise above the pack, stick in there for years and keep going while the rest quietly fade away, because no one was really looking at them in the first place.
I had to get that out because that my friends is the truth. We groan about it in our homes, write about it on our blogs, vent about it amongst each other, but that’s how it is which is why folks keep screaming, ‘Don’t Work With Black Women !’ and you know what I do …. (lol) I work with black women. I am determined to work with this group on my terms because I know if I do anything else… if I fake it and focus on white women or just everybody so I’m more main stream, I’ll get frustrated like many of my sista bloggers and feel like I’m selling out. I know if I force it and just pitch to black women with corporate gigs and nice pocket books, I’ll look fake because that isn’t who I am. I know I’ll lose it all if I try to be anything other than who I am because in the end all the posers trying to sell things and be who they aren’t STILL aren’t making money so in the end isn’t it better to be happy by my own standards than try to live up to or fall into everyone else’s?
Yes! I say yes, because it’s working for me. No, I’m not a six figure sister yet and I won’t lie to you and say that I am. No, I am not getting even everyone on board, even with all my buzz. As a matter of fact, I started my SistaSense Circle to focus on working with 10 black sistas who want to learn about this stuff and you know what… of the thousands of women in my circle I only have 5 sistas who are on board, but that’s OK… because I know we’ve got a lot of issues separating us… I know it is not easy even having a circle of thousands of black women to get us to support one another, invest in our businesses, and build up what we are doing because HELL we have had hundreds of years of poverty, slavery, and self-destructive negativity beat us down so much that it’s going to take more than just a few emails from me to convince sistas my circle is where they need to be. BUT guess what…
I work with Black Women (Period)
Because I don’t see it as out of thousands of black women online I just got 5 women in my circle. I see it as out of millions of black women in this world, these 5 women chose me. They believe in me, they are inspired by me, they are excited about what we are going to do together in the next 4 works and that makes me happy because this is what I want to do. And they are exactly the type of people I’ve always wanted to work with.
And what makes this absolutely fabulous is at the end of the day I am still working, and what I do is still working without big names to back me, without big companies to sponsor me, without a 9 to 5 job to balance me, without a friend or family member to finance me I have built something authentic that allows me to work with Black Women on my terms as an established business owner. I’m not free, I’m not cheap, and I’m not over the top expensive I’m just exactly the person I could afford which is why I speak to the women who need me and invest in themselves because they know working with me is a realistic option.
I’ve got no fancy dresses to put on. No glam shots or big house to stand in front of. All I’ve got is my brain, my smile, and my truth. My bills are paid; my car note is cool, my babies looking cute and my families doing fine. I think by those standards alone I am doing exactly what I know so many of my hard working, online black women are striving to do but cannot and for that alone I am truly blessed … truly thankful that God keeps giving me the vision and the strength to just be me. And along the way, if I am helping more black women work through these challenges and get the online world working for them, that means by my standards my destiny has truly been fulfilled.
I’ve been building black websites online for over 10 years now. By some folks standards I haven’t been seen yet, by my standards I know for my people I’m already in their line of vision. As my hubby always tells me, I am a pioneer and I guess he’s right. What I am telling you, Innovators do exactly what they are NOT told to do. So if you are struggling with your authenticity, if you are struggling with your visibility, if you are struggling to make it online and make online work for you listen to yourself, be yourself (period).
Related To This Post:
This is just the beginning of this conversation y'all... like it or not ... share your thoughts -lh
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Replies
Your post is very inspiring and I can relate to so much of what you have said. I live in a small country town in Southeast Georgia. Need I say more? lol. Not very many black women here doing business for themselves so I have not had much to look out at BUT I really can't blame it on anyone else or the lack of examples. Over the years, as I have provided some publishing services to local churches as well as individuals, I have found that there is NOT a lot of money in the black household and if there is...they sure as heck hold back when it's time to pay up. lol-but not funny. So I have decided to continue to offer my products and services to those who have need and even some who don't think they need it. If they bite and they happen to be black women... great. If they bite and they happen to be of other ethnicity... great. The bottom line for me is I refuse to be limited by any negativism coming from anyone. So, I do business with black women who want to do business - not favors - and if they don't want to do business, I move forward to those who do. MONEY IS GREEN!
Thanks for this one. I'm encouraged to go forth each time I read messages like this!!
Keep up the good work!
Shellye
As you mentioned our history is saturated with all kinds of trauma, injustice and pathos, that would render any other people extinct at this point, yet we continue to go forth and multiply albeit in very broken, disconnected and often misguided ways. As a community, we have never really gone through an intentional healing process together out loud,leaving all of our wounds of the past to have scabbed-over but are still festering underneath. Our sensitivity to one another is heightened,because of those wounds. On the hopeful side, however, I believe there is such a willingness to reach out to one another to apply the salve of love, understanding, forgiveness and grace but perhaps we are blocked by our own distrust of ourselves and each other.
I am so inspired by your message and every thing about this network that I have read so far. I had the opportunity to listen to some of LaShanda's audio message earlier, regarding "business block" and I agree 100% with her assessment of the first main "block" being our own fear. It permeates our professional as well as personal relationships and strangles prosperity.
We must continue to have these conversations and "air our dirty laundry" with each other as part of the healing process. Whether we agree or not with a point of view, is not the point. I think as black women we embrace the world of humanity by our strength, our vision, our pioneering spirit and our amazing ability to love. As a black woman, I hope to be able to work with other black women and all women and bring to the table my standards of excellence, creativity, cooperation.
So, as I am sitting here and writing this I am so Divinely inspired to suggest something groundbreaking like creating a Day of National Healing across the country. Various venues connected via satellite (like they do on New Year's Eve). My suggestion, as it it literally coming to me is to have African Americans taking the initiative, creating the agenda setting the tone, incorporating expertise for genuine healing, through creativity, intellectual stimulation, perhaps even some medical kiosk set up for free blood pressure, diabetes checks etc. The foundation must be love and it must be Divinely guided. The point would be begin the healing process of a brutal history that is rarely acknowledge in the Black community but it must also extend itself to the entire country as the healing is something we all need as a Nation.Maybe not right away. Maybe our first initiative should just be the black community. It would mean addressing serious issues that have brought us to this threshold we find ourselves i.e. Having an African American President and still calling ourselves the n----- word and trying to justify it. It would mean perhaps straight-up workshops in African American history. Parenting workshops. Communication workshops. etc. This may need to be a weekend event???
I do think, however, Black people are the only ones who can initiate and carry out such a mission of world unity and healing. We have so much untapped power and genius to not only heal ourselves but the world. You can hear it in our music, see it in our movement, our art, our fashion, our language. There must be an element of forgiveness from our community and acknowledgment from the mainstream/white community who suffers from their own inner-demons and fears in order for any sustained healing to occur. I'm game.
If you are not familiar with Dr. Joy Leary's incredible work, Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome, I highly recommend it. It is a great foundation for such a movement toward healing in the Black community and the Nation. It should be a pre-requisite.
Ok, I've rambled on enough. Please forgive me if I've gone over the top as I am prone to do.
Blessings all.
Nancy Nelson Ewing
Nancy N. Ewing
On another note it is great to read about all the issues we face. My experience as an African living in the UK is very different. Not in terms of the obstacles, but our histories are very different. Your heritage is different to mine and many other black women I know and it is fascinating. I will be able to understand what it means to be an African American but never know it. Neither will an African American growing in the US know what it is like to have your early years somewhere most around you are black. I was lucky in my childhood and had a privileged African upbringing so the shock of leaving that at 16 and coming to a country where for the first time I was aware of my colour(it just seemed so natural to me before that).
I think some of the difference in our history as black women is also one of the issues we have as a whole. I have not yet come across much written about the difference a black women who grew up and had an early education in Africa to an African American in terms of their perception of themselves. I have not looked much into it either. To be honest it is bad enough having some people I meet think I was a starving African child who lived in tree and must have come to the UK as a refugee. Having to break that myth with my stories of private education and ballet lessons etc is always fun!
Seriously though, there is a big gap in mine and your (in the US) history and what then shapes us.
Interesting times.
Below is an excerpt from a blog piece I have written today on site called Africa on the Blog....
Thinking back on my week, I suddenly realised that I had my own personal stash of legal high......meeting or interacting with other black people particularly women who are out there doing the best for themselves, their family and their group! I have had so much interactions this week with such women that I feel like what I assume is a 'good high'
Today I met the team behind Bunmi KoKo Ltd, a fresh new young designer from Africa. The fact the Michelle Obama has asked her to design a coat is great but was not my driver here. I was in a room with black professionals discussing a business for black women. I was exhilarated! My own legal high stash!
Bonus was it was free and I will not get arrested for it. I think I am hooked! Good times, Good times, as my daughter would say!'.......
I have not even published this yet on the blog but thought it was related to the topic we are discussing.
I am new to social networking. My first business venture has never been dependent on my site to get clients. It's purpose is to provide information once people knew about us and to represent what my company stood for. I am now going into the opposite where the website will drive the business and will need high levels of traffic etc.
I am very surprised by the amount of women who have signed up for your inner circle. I thought you would be overwhelmed with responses. I have not yet set up my next venture and feel that I do not yet know what I do not know so maybe I may not be right for this yet or I would have signed up in a shot! Even at the research stage I am being told by black women that I am wasting my time trying to set up a business that will need other black women for it's survival. I refuse to succumb to that sort of thinking.
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