A few weeks ago I glowed. I had thoughts of finally returning to my hometown of New York, seeing old family and friends, and most importantly closing a chapter on a long hard trial, which needless to say caused many a sleepless night and delay for me and my family. So I got off the plane in NY ready to close up a bad chapter and start a new one, not knowing that more trials were still ahead. Had someone told me I would cry so many tears in the past few weeks, I would have looked at them in awe and disbelief. Had someone told me those I trusted most would turn against me, I would have been quick to call them liars ignorant to the real truths that would unfold.
I’m sure you aren’t sure where this is going or how this relates to business or marketing or you, but I’ll get to that point soon. On day two of my visit to NY I beamed with excitement, taking my son on his first visit to Central Park Zoo. His father and I quickly traded laughter for tears when we realized our promised resolutions were being delayed. I quickly turned tears into panic when I found out all the money in my bank account and been removed. It was like one pain on top of another strain and I am eager to share my most personal experience with you because of what happened next. In spite of feeling stuck, frustrated, drained of hope and funds, we kept on. We made calls and resolved our bank issues. We made connections and I did my first studio interview at 90.3 WCHR the Technicolor Show! We enjoyed life, strolling down the boardwalk with my fellow Disney Mocha Mom, Onica Cupido and her beautiful son. We visited old friends, laughed, cried, and reconnected. I turned net connections into real world relationships meeting amazing people like Laura, Martin, Renita and had my first trip to the Black Enterprise Headquarters.
There were days when I just wanted to run back home to NC; days I couldn’t stop crying, days I couldn’t believe things were turning out as they were, but we kept going. We lost a great deal and now must seek out new alliances in order to obtain the justice that we seek. Nothing is over, nothing was perfect, but lessons were learned and blessings were given. I say that to you, so that you know my life is a blessing, but it’s far from perfect. Never get caught up in what other people’s lives look like on the outside. Never assume others have finally arrived to a space you feel you can’t get to. We all have burdens to bear and lessons to learn. The key is to keep fighting until the very end. Even when things go horribly wrong, you have to push.
Hours before my 30th birthday I was in tears and I felt like a shadow of myself and then God sent me so many blessings, so many people wishing me happy birthday, giving me words of encouragement, and pushing me forward. They didn’t know I was running on empty, but God knew I needed them to help me feel full again. I want you to find some comfort and understanding in what I am saying. I want you to know that when you keep moving even when your feet can barely stand, you are walking towards the greatness God is creating for you. I’m learning that every day. I hope you can learn this well.
p.s. In case you are wondering, I decided to write this not just to share something personal with you, but because I am listening and seeing that a few of you are feeling defeated and lost in your own personal struggles. I just wanted you to know you have to keep finding until the end. Things will work out so long as you keep working.
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