Time to heal
Mentally, physically & emotionally
Time to heal
From the hurt, abuse, & betrayal
Time to heal
So life can go on…
We had met the day we got married so we really didn’t know each other. We were able to change this during the course of the time he was gone. We were able to use this time to heal and to grow together. We talked in length about everything that had happened and why. We discussed how we felt and what we needed to do to help each other. We learned to trust each other; we learned to believe in each other. Most of all we used this time to grow in Christ. Many people would say that everyone finds God in prison. I say that is great, because it is the story of the prodigal son. God makes good of all evil if you allow him to and if you believe and ask. We asked and we believed. We took this time to start up our non-profit to help others. We could use our experiences to help someone else. For that reason it would all be worth it. God has a reason for all things; this was our reason. My husband expressed our feelings best when he put the saying on his back…”embracing the struggle”. I could hope again…I could believe again…I was excited about our future.
It wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen fast. I was still depressed and struggled to find a way out of my depression. I had lost my job which caused another level of stress for me, however it turned out to be a blessing because I was able to watch my new grand-daughter. Every time I looked at her I was reminded of my thoughts of death and how her birth had brought me hope. She was my angel…She was a blessing…She helped save my life. I focused on her and how precious she is, I focused my thoughts on my own children and my other grand-children. I focused on my husband and helping him to heal.
One day, while watching my grand-daughter, I was flipping through T.V. channels and accidently came upon a Joyce Meyer telecast. I am not sure what caught my attention. I watched the entire episode and knew that God was talking to me. I still had to deal with the guilt I felt for the restraining order. I still had to deal with the guilt I felt for causing my family pain. I knew it was time for me to heal and to put the past in the past. I heard words that I had heard all my life and it reminded me of who I was. I didn’t ever think I could get into a state of mind that would pull me away from my core beliefs and yet my depression was causing me to not be able to remember these simple beliefs. I watched the next day and the next and slowly began to feel my heart open and my mind clear. I felt light…I felt like I could believe again…I felt happiness
It has been proven that there are certain stages that most people go through in order to heal or in grieving a loss. 1st) Denial and Isolation; 2nd) Anger; 3rd) Bargaining; 4th) Depression; 5th) Acceptance. There is not a set amount of time that each stage should or might last. There are not any limitation to the severity of each stage. We are all unique so there is no right or wrong way to get through your loss or your individual hurt. Everyone I knew gave me advice to help me heal, however they did not realize that I am different; I am unique. The struggle I had, was to face the fact that I had a right to hurt in my own way and in my own time. My sister told me this recently and I didn’t realize that what she said was exactly what was causing me pain in my healing process. I could not change what others thought about my situation, I could only change the way I thought about my situation. I began to “embrace the struggle”. I began to remember that God does things for a reason.
The White Light…..It was shining brightly. I cannot explain the new feelings I had within my heart. My husband and I had so many plans. We took this time to heal in a way I didn’t think was possible. We took this time to grow together. We were one. We both wanted the same things and we were ready to work together to achieve them. The second chapter of my fairytale was becoming a reality. I was blessed in so many ways and I knew everything is possible with God.
I believed this was a new beginning……no looking back
Was I wrong?
Anything bad can be turned into good
It is all in how you look at it
Look on the positive side
And life will be much brighter
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