Posted by D.A.Sears on September 12, 2008 at 4:49am
Keysha Whitaker is a multi-talented young woman who holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Sociology. I wanted to know more about the young woman who is telling us what’s going on with our daughters in her book Hickeys, Hiccups And HomeworkTM: A Teenage Girl’s Guide –Living and Loving – the first in a series of books that deal with the issues facing pre-teen and teenaged girls. Through her groundbreaking book, Whitaker is giving Fathers and Mothers the 4-1-1 on what our daughters think and feel and their perception on the world outside of their immediate environment and their place in it. In addition to being an author and a former morning show personality on New York City’s HOT 97 FM Radio, Whitaker is a member of the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (AFTRA) and the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP).Where did Ms. Whitaker grow up? Where was she educated?“I grew up in Bridgeport, Connecticut. I was educated at Catholic schools my entire life - from grammar school through college. I think private schools can be beneficial to a child’s potential success, especially in urban areas. In many of today’s public school systems teacher burnout and desensitization to the needs of students, especially urban students, is a common and unfortunate reality. In private schools – where it’s ‘pay to play’ – teachers are held to a higher level of accountability, which is passed on to students in the classroom,” Ms. Whitaker responded.I asked Ms. Whitaker to talk about the role models she had as she made the journey from childhood to adulthood.“Honestly, I didn’t have a ‘role model’ as a child. There isn’t a singular person that I emulated for any significant amount of time. Probably because my interests changed -- and still do -- just as fast as my underwear – from taking the piano in third grade, to the flute in fourth grade, to the trumpet in fifth grade, then back to the piano in sixth grade. Imagine me trying to model Elton John one year, flutist Julius Baker the next, then Miles Davis, then Elton! If I had to choose, I’d say creative expression in a multitude of forms was and continues to be my muse,” she remarked.So, who or what inspires her?“People definitely inspire me. I am always intrigued by someone’s life story. How did they get to be where they are? Where are they going next? If I find someone or something intriguing, I’m inspired to share that with people through my writing.”The discussion moved to Ms. Whitaker’s first book -- Hickeys, Hiccups, & Homework™ series: Living and Loving. What motivated her to write it?“The book actually wrote itself. I started writing poetry in my freshman year in high school because of the new feelings I began to experience. Each time something would happen that would perplex or upset me (which was most of the time) I wrote a poem. The first poem in the book, CRUSHED, is actually the first poem that I wrote in high school. It was my freshman year and this dumb girl at my lunch table, who was in my crew of new friends, told my crush I liked him. Flashback! Excuse me! The experiences kept happening and the poetry kept coming until I was about 18 or 19. I kept all my high school poems in journals. In the beginning of 2007, I was flipping through my old journals and got the idea to put them together in a book for teenage girls. I thought, ‘If I felt like this, I know girls today feel the same way.’ I decided the book would be the first in a series to help girls deal with the experience of being a teen and let them know they are not alone.”What’s going on with our daughters at school and at home that makes a book series such as Hickeys, Hiccups, & Homework™ necessary?“What I’ve seen since I’ve been working with youth -- I did career counseling at an urban high school, and was a summer camp director -- is that at school teens are getting the truth -- or lack thereof -- as told by their peers, no holds barred. At home teens are getting the truth as told by their parents, which is most likely one-sided in parental love in an effort to keep their daughters as innocent for as long as possible. Between peers and parents, teen girls are left with a disconnect. Hickeys, Hiccups, & Homework™ bridges the gap for teen girls by pinpointing common emotions girls experience and encourages teens to identify and work through their feelings by writing.”Is being a teenager stressful? Why?“Yes, I definitely think it can be. Being a teen is stressful because you’re trying to establish your independence, figure out who you are, who you want to be, or who you think society wants you to be. On top of all that, your body is going through hormonal changes that make you stinky, cranky, horny and hungry. For someone who was just watching Saturday morning cartoons the year before, yeah it’s stressful.”What are some of the issues – for example, academic achievement, peer pressure, self-esteem, etc. -- that our pre-teen and teenage daughters find themselves grappling with? How do these issues differ from the issues that pre-teen girls and teenage girls grappled with 20, 30, or even 40 years ago?“For the most part, I think that teens are grappling with the same issues that their parents and grandparents faced – academic achievement, peer pressure, self-esteem, dating and sexuality– except the pressure is more intense today. As a society, we have advanced socially, politically, and technologically. There are greater opportunities that were not available to previous generations. Greater opportunities mean increased pressure to make greater decisions. Increased pressure means more stress for teens who might then feel forced to turn to negative behaviors, such as drugs or alcohol, to cope. For example, forty years ago, higher educational opportunities for women were slim to none. The pressures of academic achievement were only relative to the limited range of socially accepted careers for women at the time. Today, that’s not the case. College and beyond is very much an option for women, as well as many career fields that were once restricted to males.”How does fatherlessness and the lack of a dominant male presence in the lives of preteen girls and teenage girls affect their self-esteem, academic achievement, and whether or not they succumb to peer pressure?“I believe there is a direct correlation between the presence of a father in the lives of pre-teen and teenage girls and the dynamics of an intimate relationship she chooses to pursue. Though there are exceptions to this theory, I think for the most part, women who grow up without fathers fall into two categories. The first category of women find it hard to emotionally expose themselves enough in order to make a substantial connection in an intimate relationship; while the second are ‘chronic emotional flashers’ -- - showing their private emotions to any man that walks by, in hopes of making a lasting connection. In regards to self-esteem, academic achievement, and peer pressure, I think there are a variety of other factors that play a significant role. I was very successful academically and didn’t grow up with my father in the household.”What messages are you conveying to preteen girls, teenage girls and their parents through Hickeys, Hiccups, & Homework™?“¬The main message of Hickeys, Hiccups, & Homework™ is that being a teenager doesn’t change. The same feelings teens experience today, are the same feelings their parents felt, and are the same feelings their grandparents felt. Teens should realize they are not alone in their struggles. Parents should use the poems as points of reference to open a dialogue with their teen. They might be surprised to find that they are not as far removed from their daughter’s teen life as she might lead them to believe”.What’s next for Ms. Whitaker ?“What isn’t? ” Ms. Whitaker responded with a smile.
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