I'm not discounting anything our ancestors did, because I still look to them for guidance, but a child learns to walk by watching someone else walk, not by hearing stories about how his grandmother learned to walk! We are a visual people and we need tangible evidence that we can make it in anything, especially since so many have gone to such great lengths to produce evidence that we can't!
We, as adults, are outraged at the impact that entertainers have on our children and just about every area of our lives but that industry is the only one that consistently produces outcomes that appeal to our children! Economics 101 suggests that supply and demand will always co-exist. And, the ingenious plan of the entertainment industry is that they CREATE the supply, thus also CONTROLLING the demand!
Our children are commodities to society! The world is like a big business and we need to start forecasting like everyone else! We need to teach our children to act and not react to what's going on around them. We need to include them in the decision making process, so they will learn how to make rational, well thought out decisions! This way, instead of our children contributing to the billion dollar fashion/music/entertainment industry as simply consumers, they can contribute as producers, or manufacturers! Entertainers entice our children with their "money" but forget to reveal the blueprints to the bank... Oh but I forgot, they always pay tribute to the fans at the awards... "cuz without you I wouldn't be here"... damn right!
Since it's obvious no one is going to leave the backdoor open for the kid with two arms but needs a hand, we have to prepare them with the tools to take the damn thing off the hinges!
-Ablack
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Debate comes in because my fiance' has the "old school... children should be seen and not heard" theory.... I say... you need a healthy mix. I talk to my child. If she's doing something wrong... I deal with her as society would deal with her... I talk to her...and I let her know WHAT she's doing wrong... WHY it's wrong and WHAT will happen to her if she continues to do the wrong thing. It works most of the time... only once in a while will I have to go with the "old school beat down". He thinks I'm too relaxed with her. I feel like if the first thing we so to our children is beat them.... and NOT talk to them to let them understand what it is they are doing wrong, eventually, when they grow up ... they will not no how to communicate with other people. All they will know is "when I get mad... I go OFF!"... and that has to change. The world doesn't fight with their hands... it fights with words, laws, books and mindgames. To me, that's one of the reasons why so many of our men land in jail... because they don't have the communication tools they need to survive in this society.
A friend of mines made a good observation... she said the other cultures raise their children with NO boundries... but with little respect for other people. We raise our children with such boundries & strict discipline... sometimes they are afraid to step outside of the box.... I think we need a healthy balance... (a little more talk with a butt tappin' here and there where needed :-) I personally want my daughter to know how to deal with the world so she doesn't feel "inferior" (like they'll want her to feel)... and I want her to know that regardless of the color of her skin... she has a RIGHT to be here and she matters. At 8 years old she KNOWS she will own her own business (yep, she has it mapped out)... Not work for someone else... she KNOWS she will go to college... she KNOWS that she is capable of acheiving ANYTHING she wants.
As for the media.... She's bright...and will ask me anything she wants. She asks me if it's okay to sing certain songs... and do some of these dances. I try to make sure she knows that she can talk to me about anything... I pray it stays that way once the teen years hit. LOL
As for the community.... I don't have a problem reaching out to these young girls & the young men. Most of them think I'm their age anyway...LOL... but I love being able to talk to and have a positive influence with our youth!!!
Blessings!
-Charna
I feel your intensity. I preside over a Networking Organization for Black/African American business owners and business professionals. One of our outreaches is a youth symposium called "ExCons Tell All" ... of all of the schools and youth facilities we go into, one thing is clear - our kids don't realize that they have permission to do and be better. So many adults talk down to our youth and fear them that they feel they are supposed to be just the way they are - obstinate, recalcitrant, stupid. . . .
I would like to challenge everyone who reads this comment to tell every child whose path you cross that "you can be whatever you want to be". When you hear the comment I hear most often "yeah right" you have an open door to encourage them - give them something they can wrap their mind around and believe.
Last thing for now, you may shutter to know the numbers of us who are making a tremendous difference in the lives of our youth just by living right before them. Two of the questions we ask each group are: 1) Who in this room knows someone who is in jail? Usually 90 or more % of all the kids in the room raise their hands. 2) Who in this room knows someone who has never been in jail that you admire? OMG the kids get excited raise two hands - try to out talk each other about their cousin or uncle. . . . The problem is that the cousin, neighbor auntie. . . never has time for them, but the kids see them, and would like to be more like them, but just don't know they can - because we don't take the time or energy to tell them. I used to be guilty of this; are you? How long does it take to simply tell every black child whose path you cross - "You can be whatever you want to be" If they hear it enough they will start to believe it and govern themselves accordingly.
-Ablack
U.N.T. (until next time)...
-Ablack