What You Don't Know Could Hurt YouThis post is about the stuff most people don't talk about because it hits too close to home. But I don't want you to be caught like a deer in the headlights as you grow your business, so I'm telling you the real deal on some of the most personal issues you will encounter if you are successful in your business.These things apply to just about any business, but they are especially important to prepare for if you are Indie, meaning you are not only running a business but also managing a home and trying to have a fulfilling personal life at the same time. Like any girlfriend worth her salt, I'm going to tell you like it is. If you don't know already, it's not all sweetness and light, as some would have you believe.1. You Will Have to Say "No" to Your Kids For the Sake of Your BusinessYesterday, I posted about how great it is to be available to my kids as I also run my business. That is true, and everyone says that. But the part I saved for this post is also true: I tell my kids "no" a lot. If I was at a full-time job, someone else would be telling them "no" a lot. I'm glad it's me, but the fact is that, because I'm here all the time, they ask me for a lot of things they can't have. All the time.For example: As I wrote this post at 1:30pm EST, my 6-year old daughter came into my office and asked if she could take a bubble bath. Right now. If I was not here, she'd be with with a baby sitter and she wouldn't even ask the question. Following the advice I always give her to ask for what she wants out of life, she asks to take a bath, even though she knows the answer is going to be no.So, as great as it sounds to always be around, get ready to be the bad guy a lot.2. Your Spouse or Significant Other May Not Support YouOK, I know your spouse or significant other is wonderful and I'm not hating on them. But I have seen this more than once so I have to tell you the real deal. Once your business starts making money, you may find yourself making more money than your spouse. Many spouses can handle this with no problem, seeing as it means they will benefit from your success too.But many will also become a little on the jealous side. They may become a bit defensive as they see you raking in more cash than you did last year, while they are still making the same amount of money, and having to stretch each dollar further in this weakening economy.How do you respond? Don't get bogged down in their perception of your success. It's their problem, not yours. If you feel as though you are fulfilling your God-given calling in life with your business, then don't compromise that for anyone. It may mean having to change the dynamic of your relationship. So be prepared. Always walk blameless before the people you love, but be careful not to compromise your principles in order to accommodate their warped perceptions of your success.3. You May Gain WeightThese days, the success of your business hinges significantly on your ability to use technology. In order to use technology, you have to be still, at least for a period of time. You can't be doing an aerobics class at the same time you are programming your new shopping cart, updating your website, figuring out how to use Twitter, tweaking your business plan or writing your next book.Try to get some exercise. Don't be like me and wait until so many years into your business before deciding to shape up.See? I told you I would tell you the real deal, from experience. I'm a no holds barred kind of Indie.4. Haters Will AboundIf you are financially successful, the haters will come. Sometimes, they don't mean to hate, they are just unable to handle your success in the face of their lack of it. There's nothing you can do in advance to handle this. Just be prepared for it and understand that it may mean that your interaction with some people may have to change. Always surround yourself with cheerleaders. Non-cheerleaders should be fired from your inner circle.If you find that some haters are family members (and you most likely will), well, I guess you can't fire them. But you can minimize their adverse impact on you and your business. How you do that depends on the hater and whether they are willing to change with you. If they are not, be prepared for a tough road.5. You Will Not Have Enough MoneyIt would be great if, as you make more money each year, you also had enough money each year to expand your business exactly as you desire. Alas, this will hardly ever be the case. If you have not experienced this yet, you just haven't been in business long enough.For this reason, it is critical that you adopt a frugal mentality. Watch every penny and don't let go of a cent unless you have to in order to provide quality products and services to your customers. This is the only way to keep more of the money you make.So what do you think?Am I touching any nerves? Have you found these things to be true? Or am I way off base? Would love to know your experiences too.For more of my "real deal" Indie Business tips, subscribe to my blog today.Related PostsBoots and Hard Hat RequiredFamily Second, Yet Still First
this is site is so informational content rich. i totally agree. success and the striving to obtain more success, can be a challenge on many levels. i also believe if one is clear ( aka known as mission statement) with family, friends, associates, and new social connections, and ensure everyone who wants to be involved with interaction with you , accepts the mission statement conditions. i must emphasize, clarity, clarity is critical. too many people assume other people understand their intent, objectives, goals, and rewards. so mixed message gets transmitted to ones we endear the most. mixed message = confusion. everyone may not agree with your positioning i.e start a business, change jobs, change companies, changing partners, etc.,but at least having clarity will reduce potential conflicts. ok enuf. go forth and be prosperous. thank you, rickey
This is a great post, which is why I have decided to feature it on 'The Business', a digital magazine featuring the best Small Business discussions and material on the BBWO Network. This is a new feature, so it is still being customized and I would love your feedback. Feel free to add comments on 'The Business' page. I've been wanting to set this up for a while now, especially after reading the responses I got from my post 'Putting the Business Back in BBWO.' As our community get's bigger, it is becoming a SPAM magnet, and I want to ensure that does not happen. If you feel as I do, great! Continue writing these wonderful posts and I will do all that I can to promote you and your business.
Quick tip: If you haven't already done so, feel free to include your web banner or business details at the bottom of this post. I hope that with the new Magazine page, more traffic will be directed to your page!
I am so glad I'm not the only one...It's good to know that the things I am experiencing are normal and I don't need to really give too much energy to any of the above and keep my focus on my business. THANKS
What a great post! Those are all things folks need to prepare themselves for. Especially #2. It's amazing how a business can affect a relationship. My advice is always to have the hard conversation with your sig. other BEFORE the s**t hits the fan. Check in with each other frequently. Sometimes an "unsupportive" spouse is really just a scared spouse.
If the children are old enough, explain how this is going to affect their lives. New entrepreneurs think about the hard work, money and success and not-so-many are truly prepared for the effects on themselves and their family. When people know what to expect, they can deal with it better.
Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for the words of wisdom. I am busting into full-time business and getting married in December and will take what you have shared and keep it close. God Bless
Your notes encourage me. Thanks so much. I would be honored to be included at your site. Please feel free to republish the article there. If you do so, please include the following attribution:
Brief bio: Award-winning attorney, entrepreneur and author Donna Maria Coles Johnson is the founder and president of the Indie Beauty Network, the host and producer of the Indie Business Radio Show and the founder and editor-in-chief of Indie Business Magazine. Visit her website at www.IndieBusinessBlog.com.
Ooooooooh, your last question is powerful. I hope some other Sisters jump in with some thoughts that you can include in your article. I'm going to save details for a later blog post, but in a nutshell, here's what I think on the topic.
We can't control other people, spouses included. If a woman's heart is pure and in the right place vis a vis her family and her spouse, that's what we can control. A non-supportive spouse is something we can hope will change, pray will change, etc., but we can't make the change come.
So I think the first step is to recognize what is within our control and what is not. Once we do that, we can free the spouse up to be non-supportive if that's his choice. This then frees us up from worrying about it, and we can focus on the business tasks at hand.
I believe in my heart that, if a woman is called to a business, she will be able to keep her family first as well, and she will be supernaturally empowered to meet both obligations because God gives the strength and wisdom to do so. In such cases, I firmly believe that it is the non-supportive spouse who CHOOSES TO BE left behind. We do not leave him behind.
Again, this assumes that we as wives have pure motives and are not exercising a competitive, selfish or contentious spirit where our business is concerned.
This is too deep for a quick summary. Ha! But does it help?
one more thing, I'd really love to hear more on how others deal with spouses who may not be supportive, or, who fear that you will leave them behind if/when successful. Any more thoughts on this?
I REALLY thank you for this piece. It hits home in many ways and it's good to know there are other sisterpreneurs who understand. I would love to republish this piece on my web site for the benefit of other sisters who are in business. Please let me know if you agree....see www.sisterspeakonline.com. If so, I will also need a brief bio and jpeg photo. Hope to hear from you.
Comments
Quick tip: If you haven't already done so, feel free to include your web banner or business details at the bottom of this post. I hope that with the new Magazine page, more traffic will be directed to your page!
Take Care,
LaShanda
If the children are old enough, explain how this is going to affect their lives. New entrepreneurs think about the hard work, money and success and not-so-many are truly prepared for the effects on themselves and their family. When people know what to expect, they can deal with it better.
Thank you for sharing.
Natasha
www.NatashaCrawford.com
Marriage Consultant
Taking a Proactive Approach to Marriage
Thanks for the words of wisdom. I am busting into full-time business and getting married in December and will take what you have shared and keep it close. God Bless
Your notes encourage me. Thanks so much. I would be honored to be included at your site. Please feel free to republish the article there. If you do so, please include the following attribution:
© 2008. Donna Maria Coles Johnson. Used by Permission. Originally posted at www.IndieBusinessBlog.com.
Let me know when it's up so I can see and tell others too.
You can grab a jpg photo here: http://www.indie.presskit247.com/content/content-article.asp?Articl...
Brief bio: Award-winning attorney, entrepreneur and author Donna Maria Coles Johnson is the founder and president of the Indie Beauty Network, the host and producer of the Indie Business Radio Show and the founder and editor-in-chief of Indie Business Magazine. Visit her website at www.IndieBusinessBlog.com.
Ooooooooh, your last question is powerful. I hope some other Sisters jump in with some thoughts that you can include in your article. I'm going to save details for a later blog post, but in a nutshell, here's what I think on the topic.
We can't control other people, spouses included. If a woman's heart is pure and in the right place vis a vis her family and her spouse, that's what we can control. A non-supportive spouse is something we can hope will change, pray will change, etc., but we can't make the change come.
So I think the first step is to recognize what is within our control and what is not. Once we do that, we can free the spouse up to be non-supportive if that's his choice. This then frees us up from worrying about it, and we can focus on the business tasks at hand.
I believe in my heart that, if a woman is called to a business, she will be able to keep her family first as well, and she will be supernaturally empowered to meet both obligations because God gives the strength and wisdom to do so. In such cases, I firmly believe that it is the non-supportive spouse who CHOOSES TO BE left behind. We do not leave him behind.
Again, this assumes that we as wives have pure motives and are not exercising a competitive, selfish or contentious spirit where our business is concerned.
This is too deep for a quick summary. Ha! But does it help?
one more thing, I'd really love to hear more on how others deal with spouses who may not be supportive, or, who fear that you will leave them behind if/when successful. Any more thoughts on this?
I REALLY thank you for this piece. It hits home in many ways and it's good to know there are other sisterpreneurs who understand. I would love to republish this piece on my web site for the benefit of other sisters who are in business. Please let me know if you agree....see www.sisterspeakonline.com. If so, I will also need a brief bio and jpeg photo. Hope to hear from you.
Lisa
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