Ladies, I am going to jump right into it this go round. Why are family members so dependent on others to the point where the other family member wants to bounce and leave them all! Okay, here is the situation and please feel free to give me your opinion in the comments. You have had a rough childhood with two parents being alcoholics. Arguing, fighting, physical fights, and a lot of verbal abuse. Now that you are a grown woman with your own home and family, you have one parent left, your mother. She has not let the alcohol go and has had drama with a new guy ever since your father died. The fighting is extremely worse than with your original parents. Cops are now involved on a regular basis. Years pass and you and your siblings are just leaving the situation alone because you all are just freaking tired of it, fed up, and are dealing with your own issues. Now, your mother gets locked up! In this economy, trying to makes ends meet, you now have to come up with 1k to bail her out. So you and your siblings get the money together with the help of only 4 other family members, that's it. No one else wants to help because they know that she will not pay them back and she is going to go back to him. She gets out the same night. You make a deal with the bail bondsman for payments on the remaining amount of the bail that your mother is responsible for. She doesn't work, she only collects unemployment and the boyfriend doesn't help either, on top of all that, she still has a drinking problem. She makes two payments and here comes all of lies because the bail bondsman is calling you now for the money. Four months pass and now you get a call that you are getting sued for the full bail amount of 23k. Scrambling around again, your siblings do not help. Your brother doesn't want to help because he did a day in jail already fighting the boyfriend and your sister doesn't want to help because she is putting her bills first and doesn't have the extra money. Now its up to you again, even though you go to school, work, run three businesses on the side, manage your home, and plot and plan to become successful to get out of your debt and live your dreams. Nobody cares about what you have to do. But that is your mother, if you don't pay the rest of the bail, she is going to jail for 30 days, a 52 year old alcoholic mother going to jail. So what do you do? You get the worst thing you can ever do, payday loans. Now you have 3 outstanding to pay her bail. She said she is going to pay you back when she gets her tax return in two weeks, but you need that money now, because you are traveling next week for business. You need that money now because you put some bills on hold in order to save her ass. Here is when you really get pissed off. After you paid this $600, she calls you tipsy saying thank you and she is going to pay you back and all this and that, but how is she drinking with no money? Then she calls you back from the bar! What the hell are you doing at the bar when you still owe the bail bondsman $200 that no one else will pay. Now you feel as though you should have let her sit in jail. But its all good though because you are going to your business trip anyway and are going to make it happen when you get out there. You are determined to get those business deals and contracts! Inside, you feel betrayed, and they always say your family is your worst enemy. They pull you down just like a crab in a bucket. I hate the crab in a bucket syndrome with a passion, it has held back so many of our black people to this day because of this lazy, jealous, dependent mentality. They don't care that you have three conference calls, homework, and a tshirt to finish before you go to sleep, they got to come over and use your internet. They don't care what business meetings you have set up for the day, they just want to know when you are going to be free so you can pick them up from work. Do any of you guys feel pulled like this from your family? Here you are trying to do you and get this paper and here comes the drama and bullshit. You are not on that type time this year, this year is your year, you are going to do it this year. You got plans dammit, how come they don't understand that. Its to the point where you have to cut everybody off. Don't depend on me for a thing anymore, this is not the same Reeta. They say that people change when they get money, well your damn right if you have ignorance and selfish people trying to keep you down and are not there for you at all when you need them. UUUGGGHHH. Okay, just had to vent that out because my anger has affected my work and I cannot let that happen when I am soo close. Thanks for reading and I look forward to your comments.-S
Well I know you posted this 2 months ago, but I feel you girl! My family can be the same way. They can't support you and your positive doings, but they are always looking for money for Cousin X, Y and Z because they are pregnant... again... in jail and well, they just arent' doing right. Well I REFUSE to support people who do not want to support themselves. I havne't given up on my family, but right now, all I can do for certain folks is give them advice and not money. Some people never learn, they just sit around and wait for someone else to handle their business. It's very frustrating especially when other family members look at you wrong because you will not help this person, but what are you going to to do??? All I do is pray and pray so more. That's all you can do. God is the only one that can help that person. Throwing money down everytime they have a need hasn't helped so far, so why continue...?? Eventually that person will learn... hopefully...
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