"Kinship is a relationship between any entities that share a genealogical origin, through either biological, cultural, or historical descent. In anthropology the kinship system includes people related both by descent and marriage".Kinship is when you want your family around and it feels Great! There is love and consideration and respect for each other. Everyone accepts each other for who they are the life they are living.We have become older and wiser and life has mellowed us whether we have a big bank or even if we are struggling, we appreciate our family ties. Kinship is important as a way to measure the quality of our living.Look at the aging adults in your life, are they healthy? Do they live a decent life? Have they done well for themselves? Do they have an adequate income and health care? Are they steady and independent or are they frail and weak?Kinship is caring enough to be available to your relatives when they need you without jeopardizing the well-being and balance in your own family. Maintaining balance is important so family members don't take advantage of you and cause problems.There is a difference in having problems and having issues!"Drama is play a dramatic display intended for performance by actors on a stage, an episode that is turbulent or highly emotional."Drama is when the same people complain about the same things they always complain about. The object of complaint is different but the dynamics are the same. The complaint is usually about not getting something that they really don't want, they just don't want the other person to get it or get credit for it. Yeah, its just that vague.Issues are the assumptions people make when they are operating out of jealousy and envy instead of love and respect. Begrudging someone else's happiness is a personal issue grounded in smallness of character. It comes from an underdeveloped set of principles or a lack of order and control in your personal life.Just because someone has it together and you don't is not reason to kick dirt on them. And when someone does not have it together is no reason to kick dirt on them either.As siblings, the jealousy of "mom always liked you best or dad was harder on" me will always come into play because the memories are selective different. What we experience growing up in the same household is an altered memory when come together as adults.The "remember when" stories turn into a disagreement because everyone remembers it differently. As adults we sometimes refuse to acknowledge to tell the truth about our parents and the way we lived. If you family was slightly dysfunctional, we tend to sugar-coat the truth and alter the memory to make it more nostalgic and sentimental.You can't choose your family, but you can learn to live with them!Yes we have heard it all before and will hear it again and again because we are entering a time when family is important in every way. The demonstration of family and kinship is being demonstrated by our new First Family. The devotion and attention to each other is genuine. The love is real and not just acted out for the cameras.My request is that we all examine the "content of our character" and be better in our family relationships. Life is too short to hold people hostage to your assumptions and emotional roadblocks.Let's all make an effort to have more tolerance for each other and exercise compassion, patience and the willingness to set our issues aside.When you point your finger at anyone remember there are three fingers pointing back at you! There fore when is comes to issues... its you!Omitunde, Publisher of African American Family ConnectionAn online magazine about African American Family values and community.Visit AAFC for the latest issue each month and a copy of "The Ripple Effect".
Comments
This is a powerful and important post! Thanks for reminding us of the work that is ahead.
Nicholle