Posted by Yolanda Webb on August 26, 2009 at 11:47pm
When we see women like Coretta Scott King and Michelle Obama what do we really 'hear'. Well for one..we hear their stories. Most often in their own words. But we never hear the drama, the pain, the victim (and believe me both of these ladies had/have enough to bemoan). Coretta lost her husband and was left as a single mother. Michelle has to hear stories and worries about her husband as the first African American President.But how do they rise above that victim status and have successful, peace filled lives? I believe its because they live a different story. Not different (based on money, status or income) but different in how they choose to tell their own story.We all tell our stories everyday. We all do it! We do it to anyone who will listen (family, friends, children). What is it? IT of course is our story. Our.."Lord, I just don't know what I'm going to do!" story. We tell people 'our' story.But first we tell ourselves 'our' story. We tell ourselves to remind us that we have been once again made a victim. We tell others to hear agreement or comforting words about 'our' lot in life. Often we do it because there is so much going on in our lives (especially black women) that we are in a constant fight or flight mode and the unrelenting onslaught of tense situations have convinced us that there is 'no way out'.Many sisters are dealing with more than one issue at a time. We are the ongoing 'victims' of our own story. "But"...I can hear you saying that But right now..."You don't know my situation".Yes I do. Because its life's situation. The first step to taking back your life is to recognize that in telling your 'story' to anyone who will listen, you are keeping that 'victim story' going. On and on it keeps going.Ask yourself one question. "Do I really want a better life?" Do I want to take back my life and live out a different story? Now fully understand that this is not about having more of anything. More money does not solve one problem. Let's look at it honestly...Michael had all the money any one person could have but he lived a victim story. He kept telling of all the things that ever happened to him as to the reasons he was who he was. Victim.If you answered yes to the question and you really want to take back your life...take back your story. Take back the thoughts and words you use to perpetuate your victim story.But one thing before we move forward....this is NOT a one-time shot, it took you more than one shot to get this victim story...so let's make the second half of your storybook have a different ending. So put these simple ideas to work every day and see yourself move from poverty to purpose and from victim to victor:1. Breathe. The world will not fall apart nor will it crumble if...He dosen't call...the lights got cut off...the rent is due...or any of a number of bad things happen. Look around and you will see all these things happen to other people and people keep on living. Everyday. Honestly it may not look like it but they are facing the same challenges as you.2. Stay in the Present Moment...stop "what if' ing' yourself and everyone around you..."what if they,"...When you really think about it more often than not, the 'what if', never comes. When you are in the present moment of life the solution you need comes quickly to solve any problem.3. Practice Your Faith - The most stressed filled women I know and those with the most 'victim' stories to tell....are Church women. Faith IS the substance of that which is hoped for...the evidence of that not seen. Know that you know everything will be alright...and guess what, it will be and you won't have a victim story to tell.4. Talk to someone who won't let you be a victim. This is not the time to talk to other STORY VICTIMS who will commiserate. I tried that with my mother once (who by the way has never been anyone's victim) and her response to me was..."Well you have two choices - you can figure it out and keep on living, or we can bury you in a box), harsh maybe, healing - You Betcha!!!5. If Someone Hurt You...Let it go! Yes easier said than done..but if you think about it, they have moved on with their life and you, well you're the victim and are wallowing in it. When you think about it they have taken YOUR power and they will have many more peace filled days added to their life. While you are shortening your's with your 'story'.6. Trust the one person in the world who can begin to tell a new story. YOU. Get up in the morning with a new story...today is a great day and I am going to do (fix whatever the situation is even if you don't have all the answers right now).Look at yourself anew everyday and watch what begins to happen in your life. You can take back your life no matter what life has thrown at you. You have to. Guess why. It's the only one you will ever have. There are no do overs.The word E'LON means strength. Get up and put on your E'LON. Change your story and change your life.Remember..."We are more than enough!"Yolanda
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