Posted by Yolanda Webb on August 26, 2009 at 11:51pm
Economic indicators, economic bailouts, economic bad news. Everyday we get up now we hear more stories of how bad the economy is and how bad people are suffering - and they are. When I got up yesterday I heard from an old friend. Someone I had not spoken with in at least two years. Back in the day this sister had it going on...House in the suburbs and a summer home on Martha's Vineyard.She was living the American dream. But two years ago she woke up to the American Nightmare. Her husband of nearly twenty-five years passed away suddenly and she was left to carry on. What she found out about living the 'high life' and the 'buy now, pay later' life was that both homes were mortgaged to the hilt and her husband had amassed a fortune in debt - while they tried to keep up with the "Jones" or should I say the, "Browns, the Washington's" and the rest of the elite social circles they belonged to.She called to tell me she said, "because you are the only one I know who won't judge me." My friend had filed bankruptcy and moved into a tiny one bedroom apartment in Chicago. And after nearly a decade of not working - she had to take the one talent she knew she had an get a J.O.B in an upscale boutique in Chicago.I didn't judge her - she was right about that- but I did ask her a question. A question I told her not so much for me...but for her to answer for herself. "Why?" I asked, did it matter for ten years how others saw her, and why did she try so hard to keep up with others?" And did that define her and give her a sense of identity?She was silent for a while on the other end of the phone. Then she spoke. "Girl I thought it gave me strength and power," she said almost in a whisper.We said our goodbyes and our "I love you's and promised to keep in touch and not let another two years go by before we talked again.I thought about my friend today. She will bounce back... we always do. And she has a strong support network of true friends and family. She's a beautiful black sister so in no time she will be remarried, probably to another powerful brother - because those are they type of men attracted to her.But, I wondered if she would remember her own words..."I thought it gave me strength and power."Why do we as black women look at our strength and power as something external to who we are? Are you not powerful if you don't have on a Dolce & Gabbana or Prada outfit? Are you not strong and powerful if you don't have a man with a six figure income?STOP! Get off that insane merry-go-round. If my friend rides that train again - well let's just say it becomes the definition of insantiy.Life (God) has a way of equalizing itself to show us that we are not the one's in control. That we go through in order to learn our lessons - and when we don't. Well you know the rest. We are stripped bare, left barren so that we finally hear that voice within.Next time you find yourself in one of those places like my friend (now it dosen't have to be bankruptcy, it can be anything that puts you in a place where you are crying out, "LORD what am I gonna do!?"), stop and look in a mirror. I mean it...in that moment pull a mirror from your purse, go to the bathroom, pull down the sun visor in your car, or look in that mirror on the building you're walking next to), and say out loud, "I am strong, courageous, powerful and purposeful. I came here to fill a mission and I can and I will succeed."You will feel the tension leave your shoulders and the tightness leave your chest (but you really have to be looking in a mirror when you do this - look at yourself and don't look away).Now as you breathe look around and see that it wasn't anyone from any designer house, any social organization, zipcode, or address that made you strong and powerful and able to do what you need to do.It was you...the girl in the mirror.Choose today! Are you powerful or pitiful? Remember, "We Are More Than Enough."E'LON (strength) and You...making you all you can be.
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