It was my fairytale
Everything I ever dreamed of.
After all that I had been through,
After all the neglect, abuse, lying and cheating,
I finally found the man that would love me for me.
It started with a phone call to help a friend. The calls were short with messages to a mutual friend about his son. Until one day we started to talk about the Bible. We connected in such a way, it was like a whirlwind. We were so alike and yet complete opposites. It had been a long time since I felt this type of connection, the feeling of being accepted for being the person I am. The phrase “you are too nice” has been told to me all my life. Being nice was the one thing I liked about myself. I couldn’t understand why this was always said to me in a negative way. Maybe I was “too nice”…… I always tried to find the good in people and I always tried to believe in people. You would think I would have learned since every relationship I was in proved to me, that I was wrong. Every relationship that I believed in turned out to be a lie. Now I found someone that could relate to my every hurt. I found someone who had been hurt and betrayed to the same degree as I had.
We were exactly the same and completely opposite. We had both recently been in the same type of relationship on opposite sides. He was in prison and his significant other left him, cheated on him and did not stand by him in his time of need. I was engaged to a man in prison and I stood by him for 10 years until he cheated on me and left me as soon as he got out. He is black, I am Hispanic. He is in his early 40’s, I am in my mid 50’s. He grew up on the street, I had a “normal” childhood. We both knew the same type of hurt and understood each other. Our two opposite sides…our two halves could be put together to make a whole. He was tired just as I was. God brought us together for a reason. We could help each other to get over our insecurities and the hurt that had built up in our hearts.
We talked on the phone for about a month and a half and then I flew to St. Louis to meet him. We got married the same day…My fairytale had begun.
All my life I felt left out. I felt like the “black sheep” in every situation……like I was different, like I didn’t fit in. The weekend in St Louis was one of the best weekends of my life. I felt like I belonged and like I was accepted. I will not ever forget the way he held out his hand for me when we walked. I will not ever forget the way he held me when I told him my stories of being abused, the way he told me I would not ever have to flinch again because he would always protect me and not ever hurt me. These things probably seem small to most people, but they were HUGE to me. These were the types of things that defined love for me because I had not experienced them in my past. There are no words to explain the feelings that these two actions gave me. The way he made me feel; took away the pain of my past relationships. He told me he would treat me like a queen and that is exactly what I felt like. I knew i would not ever be alone again. I knew we were one and our love would only grow stronger as we got to know each other and share our lives. It is not often you can find someone that understands your inner most feelings because they also have those same feelings. My husband is a singer/songwriter, he expressed his love for me in songs he wrote and he sang them to me with so much love in his eyes that my eyes would fill with tears when he sang them. I was in a fairytale dream...
I felt special
I felt like I belonged
I could believe, hope & smile again
I could love again
I could be me and still be loved
Fairytales do come true
or at least I thought they did...