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 "Self Love is not Selfish!"

 
This affirmation is featured in our book Because I am a Queen: 100 Affirmations for Daily Living, however, this isn't about a shameless plug. Rather, it's a reflection on what it means to truly internalize self love.

A perception of love that I embrace is that it is an action word; a verb that requires movement and an expression of what one has declared. If you heard someone state to "love" something then one would expect to see that love displayed. For example, if it were a professed love for ice cream, you may expect to often see them indulging in the latest ColdStone creation. Or perhaps they are a gold card carrying member of Starbucks because of their immense love for the brewed beverage. On the other hand that love may be for a spouse or child and their undying devotion is displayed in everyday acts of kindness and sacrifice. So then it begs the question, if one has self love how then is it displayed? Better yet, if YOU have self love how do you display it? Can YOU be found indulging in activities that promote your wellness? Are YOU a gold card carrying member of immense love for self? Are YOU capable of undying devotion to yourself in everyday acts of kindness and sacrifice? These are the questions I had to ask myself.

Self love is not selfish!

It's ok to say no sometimes. It's ok to feed yourself and not starve literally and figuratively for the things you need to be well. Self love means WE understand our self worth. It's inherent, intrinsic and cannot be lessened or made poor. Self love means care for our mental and physical well being. Self love means we are careful of who we allow into our sacred space.  Self love means we define situations and do not allow situations to define us. Self love means that we value people, things and experiences that assist us into developing into our best selves. Recently, I've embraced the concept of being a self-love revolutionary. It's dawned on me that many people who do not value themselves will aim at killing another's natural desire to see themselves in the best light. Thus, we unwillingly accept others perception of who we are and the value we bring to the world. When the reality is, very often those individuals are viewing us from their own skewed reality. There is a serious lack of beautiful, reflective love in our communities and sometimes our homes. Our girls do not see themselves as beautiful and thus struggle with seeing the beauty in their sisters. I've been blessed with an amazing group of women around me who strive to reflect the best of themselves so I see the best within myself, yet we're not perfect and we too struggle.

While, writing in my journal the other day I realized I was feeling quite unhappy. It seemed out of the blue but upon further introspection I realized that even with all my work, I was still engaged in habits of negative self talk, giving more time and voice to things that I didn't want rather than positive self talk to things I do want. I needed a mutiny in my own mind. I needed to take drastic action. Self love!

Thus, I declared a ground breaking, radical revolution in my life. I would be a self love revolutionary. We must thank the late and great Gil Scott Heron and the Last Poets for the adage that the revolution will not be televised because it shall surely start in my mirror. It means I take care of my spiritual, physical and mental wellness. I speak words of love and encouragement to myself. I write myself love letters that I mail at random. It means to not sacrifice my spiritual time with my Creator or treat it remotely. It means to be purposeful in taking care of my body. It means I become a "gold card" carrying member of the self love club. While it's a very personal journey to be a self love revolutionary, I would appreciate my sisters (and brothers) checking in on me. If it touches a part of you declare a self love revolution in your life. Be innovative and absolutely rebellious with your revolution, because self love is not selfish and you deserve the greatest love.

Your Sister,

Mothyna James-Brightful