love (103)

Sigh. The silent expression given after looking over those fun, summer pictures taken of you in your twenties.  Those were the days - sun, fun, laughter and beautiful skin happily displayed under shorts and sleeveless tops. “When did my youthful glow disappear?”  As the body ages, cellular regeneration slows down, and skin begins to act differently, yielding dark spots, wrinkles, and rough, cracked skin.  Thankfully, plenty of wholesome products from nature can help you maintain your beautiful skin, and this puts you on the winning side - allowing you to grow older gracefully.  

You truly are what you eat, therefore an adequate intake of water and nourishing foods work internally and the epidermis benefits from those positive effects.  

In addition to eating and drinking mindfully, consistently use these three topical steps to keep your body’s largest organ conditioned, hydrated, and have you on your way to celebrating the reappearance of that youthful glow: 

First, cleanse the skin using soap or body wash with rich emollients, such as raw butters and plant/fruit oils. The hydration process begins when water comes in contact with the skin, and the wholesome emollients seal moisture into the skin.  Forgo products with harsh surfactants, such as sodium lauryl sulfate. They strip the natural oils from the skin, and hinders the goal. 

Next, slough off dead skin cells using salt or sugar scrubs, clays, or a natural fiber sponge.  Exfoliation is one of the most skipped steps in bath and body care, but is necessary for a radiant hue. Exfoliating the skin 2-3 times a week, softens rough skin, lightens hyper-pigmented spots, and allows for better absorption of other bath and body care products.  

Lastly, apply moisturizers with liquid content and emollients (lotion/cream) to maintain skin hydration and soft skin throughout the day.  Or use emollients (no water content) such as body butters and body balms for sealing in moisture after showering, softening rough skin, and protecting the skin. Petroleum jelly is an emollient, however, it does not allow the skin to breathe as well as plant/fruit-based emollients. 

Add these simple solutions to your bath and body care regimen, and you can expect that youthful glow to reappear. Say, “Good-bye” to sigh and hello to shorts, racerback tanks and short maxi dresses.

 

 

 

 

Be Whole,

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WHERE DID THIS FLAG COME FROM ?

I would like to share with you all how the TRINITY Flag was created. Growing up, I have always enjoyed art, especially colors. I’d received the highest grades in Art, than any other subject. Not because everything I had drawn or made was good, but because my teachers saw something, whether it was potential or my passion in doing my best. Their encouragement helped me to grow & explore more.

History of Business (how it started to where it is now) … Isaiah 48:17

TRINITY Flag Logo

The Kingdom of God Flag Company is a for-profit ecommerce company.

I know now that God has been directing my steps (Psalm 23). The Kingdom of God Flag Company started step by step. As I look back, I can see how it came together. In the 1960’s, as a child in school, everyday, we all sang the “Pledge of Allegiance”. This song’s lyrics included “One Nation under God”. Also in school, we read about Betsy Ross as being the woman credited with making the first American flag. I am realizing now, what an impact that song and the United States flag had on me at a young age. I believe this is where the concept of making my flag with my God came from.

U S flag

 

As a teenager in the 1970’s, my sisters and I joined a neighborhood church called Holy Trinity Church of God in Christ. During this time, my grandmother gave me a sewing machine and I took sewing classes in high school. I began altering my clothes. My sisters & I were in the choir, so I made at least four skirts (we wore long skirts to church at that time, they were called “maxi” skirts). I believe this is where the name of my flag originated in my heart.

Also as a teenager, one of my sisters and I participated in the Junior Achievement in our community. I believe we had made those round plastic lamp shades and those flat wooden bat & ball with a rubber string stapled to the bat. We even had the opportunity to sell them at a trade show sponsored by Junior Achievement. I remember when the class was over; we were taught how to liquidate our merchandise. Years later, I had the great opportunity to work for Loyola University Medical Center. We had the most wonderful Administration, who taught us self manage skills. I got elected the co-facilitator for our department’s Patient Care Team. We typed up our own agendas and took the minutes of the meetings. We accomplished a lot for our department. When an issue that involved another department arose, we were able to sit down together for the resolution. I believe all of this combined with the fact that my husband & I have been landlords for over 30 years; my taste for business has only gotten stronger and better. I am ready to learn & do more.

A Learner

I graduated in 2007 from the Joseph Business School, a program at my church; Living Word Christian Center. I know this is where I discovered the purpose for The Kingdom of God Flag Company / TRINITY Flag (Psalm 35:27).

I am being transformed; here is how I know …

I have always enjoyed dancing, when I was worldly. Now, our TRINITY Praise & Worship Banners and Streamers gives me the opportunity to continue to dance. There is not a more joyful way to dance than to dance before the Lord.

I never really felt comfortable in the lounges, but I enjoyed dancing. I would definitely have to have a strong drink just to relax myself to fit into the environment. I never once felt comfortable enough to go out by myself.

What I am pleased to discover is that I could go to church alone with ease. I didn’t need any type of drink other than having my thirst quenched by the Lord. I have finally found where I belong. I really enjoy being drunk in the Spirit.  The first time I experienced this pleasure was at one of our Women Fellowship nights. It was time to leave the sanctuary to go to another area to eat, & when I stood up & I was actually dizzy & begin giggling. Of course, no one could see this from just observing me. They told me I looked fine, even though I felt that my eyes were half closed.

TRINITY Praise & Worship Streamer Blog - No image

Now, here is where I was heading …

Our niche is to cater to dancers. I get so much pleasure watching our praise & worship dancers glide around the sanctuary, wielding their flags in love for God, with power, authority & in spiritual warfare, but more importantly I see how much they are enjoying themselves. This is the reason that the TRINITY Praise & Worship Banner and Streamer was created and is dedicated to the Kingdom of God; the TRINITY; God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. Because the TRINITY Praise & Worship Banner and Streamer is a point of contact to God, such as a cross or rosary beads, any dancer can dance like David before God, with confidence & unashamed (2 Samuel 6:14).

The Kingdom of God Flag Company’s success is by keeping God first in everything I do, which is doing business God’s way (Matthew 6:33 AMP).

God’s Word is the CEO of The Kingdom of God Flag Company. I have diligently worked on The Kingdom of God Flag Company to where it is now. Now, the time has come: Presenting the TRINITY Flag as a point of contact to God, such as a cross or rosary beads, for the purpose to help align us with the Word of God. All governments have a flag. Now, the Kingdom of God has its governmental flag on earth as it is in Heaven. The profit from the purchases of the TRINITY Flags & TRINITY Praise & Worship Banners will be used to show the Love of God. These funds are sown into established ministries, whose projects meet the needs of people (ABOUT US page).

 

THERE IS SOMETHING INSIDE OF EACH OF US FROM GOD, NEEDING TO COME OUT. GOD IS WAITING !!! :)

Isaiah 48:17 King James Version (KJV)

17 Thus saith the Lord, thy Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel; I AM the Lord thy God which teacheth thee to profit, which leadeth thee by the way that thou shouldest go.

Psalm 23:1-6 King James Version (KJV)

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. 

Psalm 35:27 King James Version (KJV)

27 Let them shout for joy, and be glad, that favour my righteous cause: yea, let them say continually, Let the Lord be magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of His servant.

2 Samuel 6:14 King James Version (KJV)

14 And David danced before the Lord with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod.

Matthew 6:33 Amplified Bible (AMP)

33 But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.

Genesis 1:26 King James Version (KJV)

26 And God said, Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

Acts 10:34 King James Version (KJV)

34 Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:

James 1:17 King James Version (KJV)

17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

James 1:16-18 The Message (MSG)

16 So, my very dear friends, don’t get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. 17 The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle. 18 He brought us to life using the true Word, showing us off as the crown of all His creatures.

1 Peter 4:10 Amplified Bible (AMP)

10 As each of you has received a gift (a particular spiritual talent, a gracious divine endowment), employ it for one another as [befits] good trustees of God’s many-sided grace [faithful stewards of the extremely diverse powers and gifts granted to Christians by unmerited favor].

http://www.TRINITYflag.com/

http://Shop.TRINITYflag.com/

http://www.cafepress.com/TheKingdomofGodFlagCompany

 

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The winter months can be so unkind to your skin - wrecking havoc by turning hydrated skin into parched skin.  With the dry, cold air outside beating at your skin, cranked up heat indoors pulling moisture out of your skin, there seems to be no rescue for your epidermis.  Lost cause?  Absolutely not.  You just have to make a few adjustments to your winter bath and body care routine:

Step 1: Use a gentle grime fighter that won't strip your skin of its natural, protective oils, and that will also add to the conditioning of your skin. 

 Organic Love Body WashA pure organic, castile body wash! Lather up in goodness of sunflower oil, coconut oil, palm kernel oil, and glycerin! Organic Love is enriched with African Black Soap and Green Leaf Papaya to eat up those dead skin cells! 

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Step 2: No more than 3 times a week, your skin should receive some TLC with a scrub/polish.  Exfoliating eliminates dead skin (keratin) sitting on the surface, removes impurities from the pores,  and leaves behind smooth, soft skin.  

 

Almond Whipped Cream ScrubA creamy body wash and exotic sugar scrub, with Sweet Almond oil to boot. Pick up your favorite sponge or puff and cleanse, exfoliate, moisturize, and fragrance your body!

 

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Sweet Raw Sugar Honey PolishA skin delicious blend of golden crystals, for banishing dead skin; pure plant oils effective for mature skin; rich humectants for protecting the skin; and honey to boot.

 

 

 

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Step 3: Add an oil treatment to your bath & body routine. Topping the epidermis off with wholesome oils (emollient) is the best way to seal in moisture.  



  MarinadeAn after-bath oil, that is great for those on-the-go days. Seal in the moisture after showering, by spritzing on this oil-free Shea Butter oil blend. 




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 Pure Body BalmA head-to-toe deep moisturizing balm, created for those women who need a bit more TLC for their scalp and body.  Pure Body Balm rejeuvenates dehydrated skin, works as a protective barrier, and is gentle on sensitive skin. 

 

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Be Whole,

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Yes, you read correctly... 126 dates in 42 days. And yes, I had an amazing time. Below is the main reason I am sharing this special teleconference with you is:

I heard a startling statistic. The statistic says...

"The average single has not been on a date in 2 years."

I was shocked when I heard this disturbing statement. 2 years, seriously, this cannot be true. But then, I started thinking about the stigma and difficulties some women have with online dating:

  • They get nervous.
  • Are unsure how to write a great profile that attracts really great guys.
  • Have been turned off by their own or other people's bad online experiences.
  • Etc.

With so many misconceptions and fears surrounding online dating, I understand it can be a challenge that most women will not pursue or if they had a bad experience in the past; may be scared to try again.

I am here to tell you once you understand how to properly use online dating it can be a wonderful way to:

  • Meet really good men.
  • Make new friends.
  • Relearn your current city and fun things to do with a fun companion.
  • If you are new to the area, safely meet new people and quickly learn your way around.
  • Have a really good time overall.
  • And so much more.

But, you must know how to do this correctly and with ease. Why? Because, according to online dating research:

Only 20% of the people registered with online dating site are actually going on dates, getting into relationships,etc. The other 80% are not.

Well, I can tell you from personal experience. It is much more fun being part of the successful 20% and if you are ready to get out of your dating funk. Then, sign up for this special and lively upcoming call.

I will share with you some of my secrets to successful online dating and relationships. Especially since Match.com is famous for quoting that "1 in 5 relationships start online." This is probably true with the numbers being even higher. So, join me for a really great time and some fun and useful information that will enhance your love life.

126 Dates in 42 Days - Secrets to Online Dating

Success Teleconference Call

Wednesday 8/28/2013 6p to 7p. EDT (3p to 4p Pacific)

You may register at:

www.undeniablyirresistible.com/126_Date_in_42_Days.html

to receive the call in information.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris

Lifestyle and Relationship Coach

www.undeniablyirresistible.com

www.1000dollarperhourquestion.com

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Overwhelmed... Exhausted... Frustrated

Question:

Are you ready?

Ready to:

  • Live pain free from fibromyalgia and other chronic pain.
  • Enjoy better overall health.
  • Enjoy your newfound freedom (newly single, empty nester, etc.)
  • Live your life's mission: Career, motherhood, travel, etc.
  • Experience new love.

Yes, then a special teleconference on Monday 7/1/2013 from 7 to 8:30pm (EDT) has been created just for you.

10744097863?profile=originalAre you sick & tired of being sick & tired? Yes then...

"Here's Your Next Step"

Learn how to have real fun and feel good again.

Go to: www.heresyournextstep.com for more information and to reserve your spot.

Click on "Register Here"

Join me for this informative 90 minute call which includes a 30 minute Q & A section.

To be happy and live a truly fulfilling life is your birthright.  

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Are You Wasting Precious Time?

Something to think about:

"Guilt is a manmade emotion and is a huge time/life waster. Yes, we all mess up from time to time, but there comes a time when you must let go and move on with your life. Forgiveness (Self and others) and Love are Divine." - Cyndi Harris 

Question:

  1. Which emotions (guilt, Forgiveness, or Love) do you indulge?
  2. Which ones dictate the direction of your life?
  3. How often do you allow yourself to relax in these Divine emotions?

Life is a joyful experience when you decide it should be.

Have a wonderful day.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Lifestyle and Relationship Coach @ Undeniably Irresistible

www.undeniablyirresistible.com

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La Dolce Vita - "The Sweet Life"

La Dolce Vita is Italian for "The Sweet Life". It means to live a life that is enjoyable, lavish, and opulent; allowing yourself to indulge in the finer things in life that bring you pleasure.

10744096101?profile=original"It's time to celebrate love and living the good life."

Love is a pleasure too many women forgo. Or if they do get into relationships; the relationships are less satisfying than expected. Since happiness is an inside job, now is a good time to take a look at your love life and decide if you are happy with your current status. 

If not, be sure to register for an exclusive specialty teleconference I am hosting on Wednesday 7/10/13 6 to 7pm (EDT)... called "The $1000/hour Question". I will be offering you tips to improve the type of men you are attracting if you are single or begin to transform your relationship if currently involved. I am only offering this call to 30 women and as of today nearly 1/2 of the 30 spots have been reserved.

So go to: www.1000dollarperhourquestion.com and reserve your spot. And while visiting the site; have some fun and fill out the quizzes to uncover your potential Millionaire Match.

Have an amazing day,

Cyndi Harris

Lifestyle and Romance Coach

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Millionaire Match Quiz

Hello lovely ladies,

Have you ever really thought about the type of man you would like to date and maybe one day marry?

As a relationship coach, I have met far too many women with vague ideas or cookie cutter answers to this question. It's seems that more time is spent planning careers, vacations, etc. then, their love life.

Or the opposite is true: The guidelines they set are so restrictive that they miss out on wonderful dating opportunities.

My coaching experience has shown me; if a woman is truly going to find happiness in love and romance. She needs to:

  • Be open-minded (Love can be full of interesting and pleasant surprises.)
  • Ready to have fun.
  • Be in tune with who she is as a woman; emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
  • And understand the type of man that really speaks to her heart. 

So, to get you started go to: www.1000dollarperhourquestion.com and

click on the Millionaire Match Quiz to learn some basics about the type of man who might be a good fit for you.

Have fun and get ready for some eye-opening questions created to get you thinking about your current or future love interest. 

Be sure to fill out your contact info to receive your

millionaire match results.

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Millionaire Match Quiz Link Correction

Happy 4th of July, everyone!!!

Quiz Update:

I want to thank the ladies who have registered for the $1000/hour Question teleconference call on Wednesday 7/10/13 the spots are filling up and apologize to anyone who filled out the quiz; the form had a bad link so, I did not receive your answers (Gotta love technology : )

All is good... The link is fixed. So, check out the quiz and get glimpse at your potential millionaire type : )

My coaching experience has shown me; if a woman is truly going to find happiness in love and romance.

  • She needs to:
  • Be open-minded (Love can be full of interesting and pleasant surprises.)
  • Ready to have fun.
  • Be in tune with who she is as a woman; emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
  • And understand the type of man who really speaks to her heart.

www.1000dollarperhourquestion.com then,

click on the Millionaire Match Quiz

Enjoy!

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Time to Forgive #16

 It’s time to Let Go
Completely
From our thoughts and our heart
It’s time to Let Go
Completely
 So we can move forward
To forgive someone is sometimes easier said than done. 
What is it to forgive someone?  I have been hurt physically & emotionally.  It will take a lot for me to get over all the hurt that I had to endure and yet I must find a way to forgive.  It is very easy to see or feel how much someone hurts us, however we may not always see or feel how much we also have hurt others.  Maybe if we could understand where our hurt comes from, it would be easier to forgive.  If we could find a way to let go completely we would be able to move forward. 
My husband and I didn’t communicate to each other and that caused us both to jump to conclusions based on our past.  We didn’t love ourselves enough to be honest about our own hearts and feelings.  We didn’t allow ourselves to become one because we both held on to our past hurt so much.  By holding onto those past hurts we let ourselves experience the hurt over and over again instead of allowing us to heal together.  We were our own worst enemies.  We knew we had something special because God brought us together to help each other.  We knew that we had gone through the same things and therefore should be able to understand each other.  We should have been able to help each other and yet we let our own feelings cause us the pain we tried so hard to avoid.    My husband and I experienced a selfish -kind of hurt.  I say that because we were too concerned about ourselves rather than being concerned about each other.  This selfish hurt caused us to not let go and therefore, we could not move forward.  The sad thing about it is that we caused our own problems by being selfish.  He did not cause my hurt and I did not cause his hurt, we were both responsible for our own hurt. 
How could we ever forgive each other if we were not willing to let go of the hurt we had built up inside ourselves?  In order to forgive others we must first look in the mirror and see who we are.  Are we holding onto hurt feelings and holding someone else responsible for our feelings?    Everyone has a past and our past makes us who we are, however our past is just that…”our past”…it is not our future.  I had to look inside myself to find what drives the force of forgiveness for me personally. I had to look within myself to find the peace in my heart that allowed me to forgive.  My life consisted of many experiences which I held on to.  Some of those experiences were good and some were bad.  I realized that by holding on to those experiences, they had a part in developing me as a person.  I choose how to categorize each experience and how to let each experience shape my life.  Because, we as humans, tend to dwell on the bad or negative, I allowed those bad and negative experiences to control my inner self.  I don't think we realize when we do this.  I don't think we even realize that it is our choice how we live. We are in control of our self no one else can control what is in us...only we have that control.  I had to realize this to understand how to forgive.  My husband was not responsible for the feelings I had.  Those feelings were in me long before I even met him.  My feelings of insecurity, my feelings of being unloved, my feelings of having no self esteem were my choices.  It was my choice to allow my feelings to be confirmed by his words or actions.  It was my choice to allow him to affect my life in a negative way.  What happened to me...was not me.  I had always tried to live my life in a positive way.  One of the main beliefs I lived by was that everything in life is a gift from God.  Everything is an experience that God has allowed us to have.  You do not know the reason, however at the very base we were given each experience to learn from and possibly to use to help someone else in the future who may also go through the same experience.  I lost this belief, because I choose to.  I was not strong enough within myself to realize what I was allowing to happen.  I had to look within myself to be able to forgive myself enough to let go of the choices I kept buried in my heart.  I had to let go of the bad choices I was allowing to control my life and my feelings.  I had to accept that my choices are mine...no one else's.  To understand the unique person that God made me to be, allowed me to not only accept myself as a beautiful creation of God, I was also able to forgive myself and accept my own choices.  By accepting my self, I can accept that my husband is his own person also....an equally beautiful creation of God who was allowed his own unique choices (good or bad).  In realizing this, I realized that my husband is responsible for his own choices and I don't have to allow his choice to affect me in a negative way.  The story I have expressed was from my heart, however it is not a true story in that it was not only my heart that was involved.  My husband went through his own types of pains and hurts.  My husband was also a victim of my choices.  My husband deserves the right to be who God created him to be without judgment or blame from me or anyone else.  Just as I became the person I became, he also became the person he became due to his past and the very hard and unique challenges he had to experience.  No one can say that either he; nor I was more or less to blame... we are who we are because God made us this way.  God has a reason for each of us, that is why he created us each as a unique individual.  I am blessed and able to accept and love myself and my husband as the unique and blessed people that God has created us to be.  I am a perfect creation of God and so is my husband; that is the reason God brought us together… for each other.  For me to forgive was to find peace within myself through Christ.  To forgive I had to replace the hurt in my heart with Love.
I forgive because I accept the blessings God has given us as individuals.
Maybe to forgive others
means
to be able to forgive ourselves;
and now in front of the world...
I proclaim
To my Husband.....
Donell,
I forgive you!
Can you forgive me?

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Hello everyone,

Today, I want to ask you a few questions:

  • Do you feel unappreciated by others?
  • Do your contributions and talents go unnoticed?
  • Do you suppress feelings of frustration because, you are trying to be nice and not rock the "boat" at home or at work?
  • Do you feel that others treat you disrespectfully?

If you answered yes to any of these questions? Then, you may have an issue with self-perception. People's treatment of us tends to be a direct reflection of how we treat ourselves. If you treat yourself well; others will too.

For example, if you notice people:

  • Talk over you doing regular conversations or disagreements.
  • Do not respond to your requests for help or to complete a task you assigned them (Co-workers. your kids,etc.)
  • Make you feel "invisible".

Then these things may be occurring because you:

  • Are not speaking up and articulating your opinion with confidence.
  • Are not holding people accountable to complete the task/s you have given them and in your frustration you simply take care of it yourself. (This simply encourages people to ignore you because, they know you will do their work for them.)
  • Appear to lack self-confidence and you tend to "hide" from recognition.

Our self-assured or poor opinion of ourselves shows up in our work, relationships (family, friends, romantic), and in the general day to day activities of our lives.

If you constantly feel frustrated or overwhelmed; find yourself constantly complaining about a lack of cooperation or help; or allow others to ignore you. You are encouraging behavior that says it is okay to treat you carelessly and with a certain level of disrespect.

Maybe you grew up believing:

  • You had to make everything right for others, go the extra mile (Even, if it meant ignoring your needs.)
  • Do whatever it takes to keep the peace (Even, if it meant loss of personal peace of mind.)
  • That having a good opinion of yourself is arrogant and uncomely behavior (especially for a woman).

Whatever has brought you to this point in your life. Now, is the time to change how you feel about yourself and finally experience a life that is more complete and satisfying. Take charge of your personal self-opinion and acknowledge you are an amazing person who deserves to receive the best. Others will follow your lead.

Here are a few things you can do to get started:

  • Stop taking on other peoples responsibilities. (Co-workers, spouse/partner, your children, etc.) 
  • Say "No" more often. If you feel uneasy about a request for your time and attention because, you know it will "stretch" your already limited time. Just say "No".
  • Treat yourself kindly. Find ways to pamper and allow yourself time to relax.
  • Make time for things you enjoy and be firm about this time being just for you. Let other people work around your schedule for a change.
  • Speak up; if you feel strongly about something or have an idea that might be helpful let others know. Even, if the idea is rejected. At least you spoke up and others know you are unafraid to speak your mind.
  • Be thoughtful and courteous to others and allow them to be helpful for you as well.
  • Learn to accept compliments. Yes, this seems like an odd thing to say, but learning how to be more gracious encourages others to treat you with more respect and look for additional ways to make your life easier and more pleasant.

Utilize the above list and gradually you will see a positive change in how others treat you and even more important; how you are enjoying and finding new ways to honor and respect yourself.

You are always in control of your own good opinion of yourself so, lead by example.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Joyologist (Expert in the Art of Joyful Living), and Author 

Click here to schedule your 20 minute Complimentary Irresistible Solutions Session and go to the Solutions Session page. Let's talk about ways to increase the joy in your life.

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Is Your Life Ordinary or Extraordinary?

How often do you wake up and full incredible? I mean really... Really... good. You wake up and you know the day is going to be an extra special day.

Is it:

  • Daily
  • Periodically
  • Rarely
  • Never

Well, if you said, "Daily". Congratulations, you are welcoming into your life; the abundance and joy life has to offer and setting yourself up to receive even more of the fabulous and fantastic opportunities life gladly sends your way.

If you selected any of the other selections, I appreciate your honesty. And, I want you to know you can learn how to change your thinking and wake up daily feeling incredible too.

How do you know if your life is stuck in ordinary? The following are several words and attitudes that describe an ordinary life?

  • Comfortable
  • Defensive
  • Reasonable
  • Avoid risk.
  • Fearful
  • Playing small in the world around them then, get upset because they are unappreciated by others or feel invisible within their "world".
  • Judgmental
  • Not Coachable (Struggles with new information and/or ideas. Unwilling to learn new things.)
  • Negative
  • Blame Others 
  • Reactive (Always seem to have some sort of drama going on in their lives that they are acting out or responding to.)
  • Makes excuses vs. taking responsibility for their choices.

Does anything from the previous list seem familiar to you. If you answered yes, understand you can always change and learn to live your life in a more enjoyable way.

Now, if you are curious about how a person lives an extraordinary life; read through the following list for a few helpful hints:

  • Coachable (They enjoy learning and are receptive to new ideas.)
  • Committed
  • Courageous (They take chances and actively invite change into their life.)
  • Creative (They look for different ways to do things and have more fun.) 
  • Determined (Naysayers have little to no effect on their life and life choices.)
  • Disciplined (Actively looks for ways to experience life in a more positive and productive way.)
  • Enjoys a more balanced approach to life and life experiences.
  • Passionate (They are excited about something that makes them happy and adds pleasure to their lives.)
  • Possibility thinkers
  • Proactive (Not waiting around for something to happen, they make things happen.)

This is a brief list of some simple attitude adjustments anyone can make to take their life from ordinary to extraordinary. Life requires active participation and if you are tired of sitting on the sidelines watching other people have a good time; make a few simple changes to your attitude.

Be bold, step out of your comfort zone and guess what? You will wake up one morning feeling incredible too. Once this happens; you will be unable to go back to the boring and fearful existence you may have been living. You may for the first time in a long time... (maybe ever)... finally understand what it means to feel alive and excited about your life. 

Go for it! Abundance, happiness, love, and life's other goodies are only available to those who choose to live life with no limits. Why? Because, they appreciate life and rejoice in every common and new experience. I dare you to be Extraordinary. I believe in you and now, I need you to believe in yourself.

Have an amazing day.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Life and Relationship Solutions Coach, Author, & Joyologist

www.redtentwisdom.com or www.undeniablyirresistible.com

Go to either website and sign up for a chance to receive a 20 minutes Complimentary Irresistible Solutions Session with me.

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Question:

Are you ready? Ready to:

  • Live pain free from fibromyalgia and other chronic pain.
  • Enjoy better overall health.
  • Enjoy your newfound freedom (newly single, empty nester, etc.)
  • Live your life's mission: Career, motherhood, travel, etc.
  • Experience new love.

Remember our special teleconference today... 7/1/2013 from 7 to 8:30pm (EDT) has been created just for you.

 

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Go to: www.heresyournextstep.com for more information and to reserve your spot.

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Join me for this informative 90 minute call which includes a 30 minute Q & A section. To be happy and live a truly fulfilling life is your birthright.

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What Type of Man Best "Fits" You? - Part 1

As a relationship coach, I have the privilege of meeting a variety of people. And, while my client base is mostly women; I talk to men from all walks of life as well. The average everyday man to the mega rich; plus, living in S. FL also offers me an international selection of guys to talk to. 

I love it because, I have such a great deal of respect for men. I notice men everyday in my travels and day to day activities. In the morning as I am driving to the store. I notice men waiting on street corners with coolers containing their lunch in work clothes and steel toe work boots waiting for their ride to pick them up as they head to work a hot and dirty job that most people would never consider because it pays so little for such tedious labor. It may not be the best job, but these men show up every day rain or shine.

Then, continuing with my day, I walk into my favorite Starbucks and in line ahead of me are the "Money Men". The men who spend their days in air conditioned offices working with millions; sometimes billions of dollars worth of financial transactions. They are dressed in their designer suits or other well-groomed and appropriate attire that shows their status as high-powered movers and shakers. They are talking about today’s business, golf, or where they will meet for dinner and drinks after work. 

The contrast is extreme, but underneath it all. These men are the same. Their dreams and goals are to be happy, to love and be loved. They want to be appreciated and respected by the woman they love and their children (if applicable) or if single they long for the love and companionship of a woman who understands that he goes to work every day to be the best man he can be for her. A good woman is the inspiration for most men's achievements.

I watch this process day in and day out and as I listen to women complain about the lack of available good men or the disengaged behavior of their current men. I have to sit back and think; do we even know what a good man is? 

I hear the sincere heartache from both men and women. The pressure they feel to live up to standards that may or may not be viable for who they are at the moment; not feeing appreciated for doing the best they know how to do, right now. Women are ready to discard men because, they seem to lack ambition or are not providing them with the lifestyle they want... right now. Men are ready to walk away from women because, they feel they are unable to be their woman's champion.

It may be true or their lives may be at the beginning of a new positive personal growth cycle, but the frustration of wanting more... Right now... sometimes keeps us from enjoying what and who we currently have. It is perfectly natural to desire more out of life, but we need to be grateful for what we currently have. Once we are; we will be spiritually aligned to receive more and improve our life and relationships.

At times I feel like the media has created a level of discontent in some women. It causes these women to wish for a lifestyle that: 

  • Is inappropriate for her and her true life goals. 
  • Creates discontent and impatience; causing her to lose sight of the ways her life is already improving.
  • Compels her to pursue a man or men; she is not prepared to create and maintain a relationship (life ambitions, money mindset, etc. may not match up) 

Maybe, a woman has a diamond in the rough at home; who with her loving support and belief in his dreams will become the next major player in business or his chosen field. Many successful men began their careers from humble beginnings. It has taken them years to acquire the success they currently enjoy and many of these men have enjoyed the loving support of a woman who knows him and has been with him from his early days.

Professional athletes seem to be a good example of this behavior. A good portion of them, if involved in a staple relationship, are usually with a high school or college sweetheart. Shared values and mindset are more relevant than most people realize. This is not exclusive to professional sports. If you look at some of the most successful men; you will notice the happiest ones are with a woman who shares their:

  • Money mindset
  • Personal interests
  • And general values

Keep this in mind when searching for your next romantic partner. If you are currently in a long-term relationship; you may need to do some soul-searching to see if you the 2 of you began your life together with mutual basic needs. If not, then what was the attraction and where are you now in regards to your life plans; separately and together. 

The goal of this article is to get you to think about you and your mate. Are a good fit? Or if you are single; to really think about what you desire in a relationship, who you are as a woman, and the qualities you have to attract this man to you.

In part 2; I will break it down and offer you some useful tips to point you in the right direction to personal happiness in your love relationship whether you are single or in a relationship.

Remember, life is constantly changing. We grow into people with different and new desires along the way. Our love lives can be one of our greatest joys or biggest heartaches. Take this time to look at men or your man with "new" eyes. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you "see".

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Author, and Joyologist

www.undeniablyirresistible.com

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What Type of Man Best "Fits" You? - Part 2

A man wants a partner not a competitor. You should too. 

In part one, I asked you to evaluate or revaluate, what you are searching for in a man and your romantic relationship. I mentioned how men really are looking for the opportunity to love a woman who really appreciates him and what he does for her to make her life easier.

I asked you to take a look at shared values and to check your money mindset to see if it matches your mate or potential mate and to search for ways you may be able to resolve conflict by becoming more aware of your relationship patterns.

Now, in this article. I want to talk about creating a quality relationship with a man. Read the top line again... A man wants a partner not a competitor. You should too.

What do I mean? In the pursuit of better education, jobs, and recognition; ladies we have taken on a pseudo masculine approach to life and unfortunately our romantic relationships as well. While learning how to increase our level of desire and life ambitions; we adopted a man’s view on business, competition, success, and as role models. Since, men have been the dominant faces and gender in the workplace for decades, when we started to emerge into the work place with our intellect and skills. We looked to men and their behaviors to get ahead. This can be a good thing if you understand how to disconnect the masculine aggression once you leave the office. 

Men are wonderful sources of information about business and business processes since they have been the dominant trendsetters in the business world. Only recently has it begun to shift (Thank goodness). And yes, we do have some wonderful examples of business success who are women, but if you read their autobiographies and biographies you will notice most of their early years were spent learning how to compete and at times survive in a “Man’s” world. 

Unfortunately, this aggressive style spilled into their personal lives leaving a trail of emotional heartache, broken relationships, and marriages. (Not all, some of these women have found a happy balance between work and their home lives.) It is important to rejoice regarding our success and career milestones, but what about the carnage that has become our romantic lives. It is time to put an end to this unproductive cycle and reclaim the romance in our lives. 

Tell me, when you come home from work do you want to relax and enjoy the peace and joy that is home or do you want to gear up for the next battle between you and your man? 

You want to relax, right? Guess what, so does he. Creating a loving and peaceful home requires continuous work on both sides. I know it sounds like common sense, but we know from personal experience that what sounds good in theory does not always transfer into the real world. 

Well, allow me to suggest a useful tip. Make a list of the things you and your man argue about. (If you are single, list the things that broke up your last relationship). Now, look over the list and tell me how many of those things could have been avoided or resolved with periodic discussions about the current state of your relationship: 

• Any changes/shifts in mutual goals or values (We all change, grow, and develop at different rates; that means our partnerships will too.) 

• Any changes in personal goals (Education, children, personal growth, etc) 

• Learning how to listen more effectively to what your man is/was saying and not trying to “think” for him. 

• Judgmental opinions that are/were fear-based and prevented you from really listening to what your partner was saying or trying to do that would benefit you and your family. 

I could go on and on with this list. Ladies, when we are wired into our right-brain masculine mode of thinking and problem-solving. We can become very rigid in our response to our relationship challenges or as I prefer to call them… “Windows of opportunity for personal growth”; when this happens mutually satisfying resolution is nearly impossible. You now have 2 competitors trying to basically “beat” the other one into submission. It is a disaster which unfortunately if not corrected; leads to broken relationships and unhappy men and women returning to the world of dating. You simply cannot have a real man and a pseudo man existing inside a relationship. The feminine must be properly represented to create or restore peace.

So, I am sure you are wondering how to resolve this issue that affects so many potentially great relationships. 

1. My first recommendation is to understand who you are as a person and a Woman. What do you need to be happy? In general and your romantic relationships; too often we get caught up in some other person’s dream and discover later on it was a huge mistake. So, be authentic. 

2. Next be honest about the type of man you would enjoy creating a long-lasting relationship. Your dream guy may not be the person you have been fantasizing about. He may be someone totally different from the ones you keep pursuing.

  • How will you know?
  • Well, if you keep dating the same type of men and the relationship keep repeating the same unsuccessful relationship patterns. He mostly likely is not the right type of man for you. You are trying to “fit’ into someone else’s dream. Be bold and daring; take the time to write out who you really desire then, learn what you need to know to invite this man into your life. 

3. Stop trying to be so “tough”. The “I don’t need a man” attitude will keep you single and in fault-finding state of mind when it comes to men. This holds true even if you are currently in a relationship; you will find ways to undermine your man and his efforts to be of assistance to you. Learn how to enjoy the softer side of your personality and allow men to step up, help you, and appreciate your feminine nature. 

4. Stop trying to do this alone. Hire the services of someone who can help you unlock your hidden desires and dreams for a wonderful and satisfying relationship. We all at one time or another need the help of someone who holds us accountable to our dreams. Our love life is no different. 

Remember the definition of insanity is: 

“Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”Albert Einstein 

Does this sound like your life and romantic relationships? If so, here’s your chance to stop repeating dead-end habits and learn the skills to finally be happy. The steps outlined in this article can be the starting point for true romantic success, but they will only work if you are willing to step out of your comfort zone and be accountable for your love life and there is no reason to go it alone.

Go to: www.undeniablyirresistible.com and request your Complimentary Solutions Session for guidance and some additional helpful hints.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Author, and Joyologist

www.undeniablyirresistible.com

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Hello everyone,

How are you? I hope each of you had a wonderful weekend. Mother's day has come and gone and for every mom out there I hope your day was an amazing one filled with much laughter and love. Personally, my day was perfect. I spent time with my beloved (He surprised me with a lovely and thoughtful gift), heard from my children (They live throughout the US), and received and shared messages of goodwill and love with family and friends.

It was a memorable day and as usual it left me thinking about love. Love is such a gigantic topic that we do our best to pigeonhole and water down because, it seems to cause such discomfort in so many people. And, while I appreciate holidays like Mother's day. It always makes me curious to know how people express their love for mom throughout the year.

I realize I am truly blessed because I have a great relationship with my 3 incredible sons. We talk often and are a consistent part of each others lives. I love them dearly and they return my love without hesitation.

I believe it is so easy for us because, I raised them to be loving and strong men. We never leave each other, hang up the phone, or finish a texting conversation without saying "I love you." It is a natural-feeling habit for us. I let them know that saying "I love you." is a good thing and not something to fear. Even when, we have had our disagreements over the years; we still come back to love. Open communication is definitely the key. They are awesome young men and I could talk about them all day, but I want to share a quote with you that eloquently expresses the importance of fearlessly saying "I love you" to your loved ones.

It is from Leo Buscaglia's book "Born for Love". It is a wonderful book full of joy and wisdom. I highly recommend it to anyone who is ready to change their belief systems around the topic of love.

Here it is:

Never Tire of Saying "I Love You"

"Such a simple phrase, 'I love you,' yet I cannot think of any words with greater power. Francois Villon, the French poet, wrote, 'I love you. These are easy words to say, yet my heart fails as I say them, for their meaning is as full and musical as the bell of doom.' 

We should never tire of expressing our love, for certainly we never tire of hearing it expressed. Strange how simple it is to use these words with inanimate things. We feel safe in loving our car, a new coat, or spaghetti and meatballs. But, we have grave difficulties verbalizing our love for other human beings, even to those closest to us...

The message 'I love you,' is not something that goes without saying. To the contrary, it needs to be said whenever and wherever love is present." - Leo Buscaglia

I think this quote expresses how we seem to fear saying "I love you," to the people we care for so deeply.

What stops you from using those 3 little words more often. Is it:

  • A fear of rejection
  • Loss of perceived power
  • A need to control
  • Fear of an awkward moment (Say it more often and it becomes less traumatic)

Tell me. I have heard numerous reasons over the years and I have had to overcome my own fears. Especially, when I initially fall in love and I am worried I may say it too soon or the other person may not feel the same way. Yes, even I have a had an insecure moment or 2. But, I have learned from experience, if it is on my heart to say it then, I need to say it. Whether a person receives it or not is their issue not mine.

"Love is meant to be shared not kept as a secret locked within our hearts." - Cyndi Harris

Now, having shared this with you, I am asking you to do a simple assignment for me. Actually it is more for you than me.

Today, and everyday that follows, find 3 people who you can say "I love you." Just say it and be okay if they do not say it in return. If it is someone close to you where these words have not flown freely; be patient and be prepared to answer some questions or receive a strange look or 2. 

Love is an ongoing process that requires courage, fearlessness, joy, persistence, and trust. It is worth any and all effect you put into it. So, have faith and know that you are love and you are loved. Regardless of the circumstances that may surround your life so, pass it along and watch how the blessing of love shows up more often in your life.

Share the love and leave your comments below; also, pass this blog post on to anyone you believe will benefit from its simple message. Thank you for your continued interest and support.

Have a wonderful day and as always; I am wishing for you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Author, & Joyologist

You may reach me at: Cyndi@undeniablyirresistible.com or www.undeniablyirresistible.com or www.redtentwisdom.com

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“Honey, I appreciate you.” Hearing those words can make your man feel like “Superman”

Men show love in many ways and only a few of them are similar to ways women express love. Think about it; when we, women, are in love with someone we tend to do some of the following: 

• Send romantic cards 

• Feed our beloved 

• Offer backrubs 

• Send cute and sexy text messages 

• Etc. 

Our expression of love tends to be more affectionate and emotion-based: 

Cards - say words we may not be creative enough to say. (Warm fuzzy feelings) 

Food - is comforting and at times revolves around memorable events; the holidays, special occasions, and creates memories. (More warm fuzzies) 

Backrubs - create intimate moments that may or may not lead to passionate sexual ones. 

Text messages - generally, if done right, get an immediate response and create an instant connection with our beloved. 

Men can express love in these ways as well, but it does not come naturally to most of them. If you currently have a man who is offering you such emotion-based tokens of love; I can almost guarantee he was taught to be expressive, in this way, by another woman; a previous romance or a great platonic friend. Possibly, by watching a male role model (Who was probably previously guided by a woman's influence as well); however it happened be thankful and be sure to encourage him (Saying thank you is a good start.) whenever he does something; big or small. Appreciation of such “magical” moments is very important if you want him to continue. 

Typically, men express their love for a woman through their actions; to do things for you is more comfortable expressions of love for him. Men love to problem-solve and find ways to be sure their beloved is comfortable, protected, and feels safe. He is more likely to take your car in for an oil change, regular maintenance, or fill your gas tank to show his love then, remember to buy a card and book reservations for your anniversary. 

Yes, I know when dating and in pursuit of the woman of his dreams; a man can be very romantic. But, ladies once he has you. He starts to show his love in less dramatic ways. Things we may take for granted, like that oil change, are his ways of loving and taking care of you. 

So, learning how to be appreciative of the little things can be the difference between a tense relationship and a loving one. Why, because if you start offering “Honey, I appreciate you.” after he has taken out the garbage, picked-up the kids from day care, or asked you about your day. You become even more lovable in his eyes and he will search for more ways to make you happy. He feels like he is getting it right with you; he feels like your hero. 

Yes, your hero, every man wants to be his woman’s hero. He will never tell you, but watch him after you tell him how much you appreciate something he has done for you; big or small. He almost “glows” with satisfaction, he did something right

Now, to show you how true the information I am sharing is. I have an assignment for you. This week, I want you to make a list of the little things your man and the men in your life do for you. Yes, single ladies, I want you to do this too. Appreciating men includes appreciation for all of them; our fathers, sons, friends, co-workers, etc. Even a stranger who compliments you or holds the door open for you deserves to receive some appreciation. 

So, that is all for now. I hope this brief article has offered you some helpful insight about the man or men in your life. Have fun with this newfound information; email me and let me know what exciting things happen in your life once you start showing more appreciation for the men in your life or if you would like some one on one assistance learning how to really take advantage of this newfound skill.

Have a wonderful day, 

Cyndi Harris, HP 

Author, Relationship Transformation Coach, Man Whisperer 

www.undeniablyirresistible.com or www.redtentwisdom.com (Go to either site to sign up for your 20 minute complimentary irresistible discovery session.)

Cyndi@undeniablyirresistible.com 

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Yes, I have flipped around this well known quote. Typically, the statement is “Behind Every Great Man is a Great Woman.” It is a wonderful quote and very simply explains how important a great relationship is for a man to truly reach various levels of success in his life. History is full of numerous examples of incredibly successful men who had wives, lovers, and/or mistresses who inspired them to be more than ordinary and reach great levels of accomplishment. 

Monuments like the Taj Mahal are constant reminders of how powerful love is and the lengths that a grateful and happy man will go to express his love for an inspiring woman. A woman who was, at times, quietly in the background offering her love and support for his ideas and visions of success; his partner, love, and many times his best friend. 

Knowing how powerful the right love connection can be for true happiness and success in life. I decided to also point out how important is for a woman to also have a truly wonderful and supportive man in her life; someone who rouses her to be and do more; a man who is confident, lovable, and passionately believes in her and her dreams. 

To prove my point here are few modern day women who have amazing and loving support from their men: 

• Michelle Obama (Husband - President of the United States Barack Obama) 

• Angelina Jolie (Life Partner – Brad Pitt) 

• Jada Pinkett-Smith (Husband – Will Smith) 

• Beyonce (Husband – Jay Z) 

Are a few wonderful examples of women with a powerhouse man in her corner; these ladies understand the importance of having a great life partner because, if you really think about it being married or in a long-term relationship is about much more than romance. It is about coming together with common goals and life visions. Our individual goals are important, but having someone who you can share your dreams, fears, and victories is priceless. 

Unfortunately, too often, as we move forward on our path to personal success we leave out one of our greatest fans. The man who loves us and wants nothing but the best for us and truly does want to offer assistance and guidance (when requested); learning how to invite him in requires courage, humility, and trust. 

You must be willing to communicate your ambitions, desires, and goals with the one you have selected to share your life. Or if you are single, now is the time to develop the skills to communicate these ideas with a future mate. Learning how to be supportive is not only about being there for your man. It is also about letting him be available for you. He wants to help you, if he is unaware of what you are thinking about; how can he be of assistance? 

So, the next time you are feeling discouraged and alone in your quest for success. Think about the women I listed in the beginning of this article. They have found a healthy balance of individual success within a loving partnership/relationship. You can too. It is all about communication. 

Here are a few questions for you: 

  • Do you have some misguided belief that you must pursue your desires alone? (The “Superwoman” syndrome; I don’t need a man. I don’t need anyone. I can do this on my own.) 
  • Does your beloved know about your secret ambitions and goals? 
  • If yes, good for you. If not, why not?
    • Are you afraid to personally step up to your dreams and know that if you share with your partner you will need to finally take action? 
    • Are afraid of possible ridicule? (Fear is usually “Much ado about nothing.” Take that leap of faith; you deserve to live your best life.) 
    • Has your beloved ever been unkind about any personal goals you have shared with him? If not, then let him know what is on your mind… Remember you are in a partnership with this person. 

So, if you are ready to put aside your fears, stop trying to be superwoman, and finally bring your beloved back into your life, but are unsure where to begin. Let’s talk, I am here for you. I believe in you and I want you to have a life that fulfills you and allows you to join the ranks of great women with a great guy standing “behind” her. 

As always, I am wishing you much love and unlimited joy, 

Cyndi Harris, HP 

Relationship Solutions Coach and Man Whisperer “Intimacy Creation Savant” 

Author of the forthcoming book “Official Handbook to Becoming Irresistible – Learn How to be a Woman Who is Positively Unforgettable.” 

www.redtentwisdom.com or www.undeniablyirresistible.com 

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How to Love a Man - "Affection"

Hello everyone and welcome to the next installment from the "How to Love a Man" series. I certainly hope the previous posts helped you feel a little closer to your beloved or offered some valuable insight to the single ladies who are preparing to meet their future beloved.

Loving a man and being loved by a great guy is such a delectable and delightful feeling, but if you are feeling a little lonely in your relationship let me ask you a few questions:

  • When was the last time you really looked at your beloved? I mean really looked at him and noticed how attractive and strong he is.
  • Have you ever taken the time to notice the shape of his hands, the width of his strong shoulders, how he stands when he feels really good, or the way he moves when he is feeling momentarily discouraged. 
  • Have you ever just sat in a room and watched your man move about totally unaware of your admiration? Or sat across the table from him listening to him share something important with you? It can be mesmerizing. The sound of his voice or the way moves throughout his space.
  • Have you thought about how much you enjoy his hugs or the way he smiles at you?
  • How about the way he feels in your arms when you hug him?

Affection is impulsive and can be sparked by the feelings the previous questions can create. You may observe how your man looks and suddenly feel the urge to be close to him. So, if you don't remember how your beloved feels when you hug him. Does this mean you haven't hugged him lately? Why not? Men need love too.

Yes, your big, strong, and possibly silent type needs to feel your soft warm arms wrapped around him from time to time for no particular reason. He needs to know that you just love being close to him as much as he loves being close to you.

Men may seem all tough on the outside, but inside they can be as soft and wonderful as a "marshmallow". Just because your beloved may appear invincible; doesn't mean he is untouchable or has no need for your affection.

He may be craving:

  • The feel of your skin.
  • The lingering scent of your perfume on his shirt after you hug him.
  • The comfort of your touch.
  • Or many other things that having an affectionate and loving woman in his life provides.

Affection is a huge topic even Leo Buscaglia's in his book "Born for Love" mentions the following:

"Science has proven that a simple hug is one of the most convenient and inexpensive therapies available. Yet, we remain touch starved."

He continues to talk about some interesting information he gathered while doing research for another book. He says " People consistently mentioned that there were certain qualities that they found to be essential for a happy and long lasting relationship." Affection (touching, holding, and stroking) was named the most important by the majority of the participants. Surprisingly, sex ranked # 8 on the list.

Affection, unfortunately seems to be one of the most neglected aspect in most relationships. It is unfortunate, since nonsexual touch is so vital to our emotional and physical well-being. Being affectionate is a fun, simple, and sweet way to show our beloved how much we care and enable him to share his affection for us as well.

This should be such an effortless thing for couples to do, but I know some women who withhold affection. They do this because, they are worried if they hug or touch their man; that the simple nonsexual interaction may be misinterpreted as a sexual come-on and then their man will want sex. So, to avoid unwanted sexual advances, they completely avoid contact with their man.

This is a very sad situation because, now we have two touch-starved people living a very sterile existence. Leaving sex as the only way either one of them receives any human contact from each other. No wonder sex becomes such a big issue for their man. It is the only time he gets to be physically close to his beloved.

So, if you want to avoid this scenario. I recommend that you make a conscious effort to touch your beloved. There are easy and simple ways you can invite more affection into your relationship without turning every touch into a sexual encounter (Unless that is your goal... If so, then go for it.). For example:

  • Touch his hand when you are talking to him. 
  • Touch his arm as he is passing you in the hallway or kitchen.
  • Offer to rub his shoulders if he looks tired after a long day. (Bonus, be sure to mention how strong he is as you are rubbing his shoulders. He will "melt" under your care and compliments.)
  • Give him a hug and tell how much you appreciate him then, walk away.
  • When he is sitting in front of the TV in his "papa bear" chair give him a kiss on the cheek or forehead. (But, not while he is watching the game or any other event that has an intense hold on his attention. This will avoid aggravation on both sides.)
  • Be creative and make a list of ways you can show more affection to the one you love.

These are just a few suggestions. They are simple non-threatening ways to bring more nonsexual contact back into your love life and joy back into your relationship. Being close to your beloved should be one of the things that makes you feel adored and cherished in your relationship. So, relax and have some fun.

Now, go give your sweetie a hug. If he hasn't felt your arms around him in awhile and looks at you kind of strange. Just smile and say, " I am having such a wonderful day. I wanted to share my excitement with you." Then, smile and walk away. Be confident in the knowledge that he will come around and who knows he may have a few happy surprises for you too.

That is all for now. Enjoy, we will talk again soon. Plus, for more fun and playful ways to enhance your love life. Sign up for your 20 minute Complimentary Solutions session at www.redtentwisdom.com or www.undeniablyirresistible.com.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Man Whisperer (Intimacy Creation Savant), Author, Radio Host of Red Tent Wisdom radio - Broadcasting live starting Tuesday 4/30/13 at 11am EDT. (Blogtalkradio)

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If you have been caught up in the dating "hamster" wheel lately and are having a hard time understanding why your dates are not progressing beyond a first date then, this report will give you a glimpse at what you may be doing unintentionally that is turning off your dates.

Here's the set up: 

You know you are a beautiful, caring, fun, and loving woman. But for some reason, your dates either do not call back or if they do call back; nothing happens. No second date is booked and eventually he stops calling. You are feeling confused and disappointed; possibly a little hurt as well. You thought the date went well. Both of you were laughing, sharing great conversation, and he mentioned a few times that he was having a good time. Yet, nothing happens after the first date.

Well, I have a secret to share with you. One of the reason, he may not be calling back is; he thinks it would be too much work to date you. Men love to date confident women. They want to spend time with a woman who is easygoing, fun, intelligent, and relaxed. But, if during any of the conversations you had with your date: 

• He felt you were sharing too much personal information too soon. 

• Coming on the dating with a "Could He Be the One?" agenda. 

• Or did not come across as a confident woman. 

He has decided to walk away. Men get nervous when they notice they are out with a woman who: 

• Still has unresolved issues with an ex. 

• Is obviously on the "marriage" bandwagon. 

• Or is telling him too many private details regarding her life on the first date. 

If during the initial conversation you were basically giving him your life and dating history. He will feel overwhelmed or he decides since you have shared so much already; there really isn't much more that he needs to know about you. A man rarely calls you back when either of these two happens on a first date. So, if you want to put yourself in the rare category of multiple dates and have more options than the average woman.

Here are 5 secrets about men, most women ignore.

1. The majority of men like a woman who is a little mysterious. He wants to learn about you layer by layer. He wants to feel like he has to "earn" the right to spend time with you. I know this sounds a bit old-fashioned, but in this age of information overload. A woman who leisurely “unfolds” in front of a man is very beautiful to him and a rare delight. Think about the men you have met in the past who you did not instantly share your life story. They usually wanted to see you again because, they thought you were interesting and had a desire to learn more about you. 

2. Men love confident women. An insecure woman will rush through explaining who she is and provide too much information; just in case she may never see him again. This feels desperate and can make a man feel uncomfortable. A confident woman gives just enough information about herself to keep him interested for more. Example: The question comes up about your ex. 

A confident woman will smile and say "He was a great guy and we had so much fun together, but eventually we just grew apart and knew it was time to move on. I really do wish him the best." 

The typical woman when asked this question will tell the her date all the lousy and worst things about her ex and the break up. 

The first answer shows your date you are a confident and relaxed person. This makes him feel good and there is a good chance he will want to see you again. If he is smart, he will ask for a second date before you finish the first date. 

The second answer lets your date know you are probably still bitter about the breakup and your date will have no desire to ask for a second date. 

So, if you are looking to improve your chances of going on a second date and beyond with the right guy. Remember to: 

3. Smile – Smiling makes you look confident and relaxed. Plus, if you are smiling you will look even more attractive. 

4. Be Classy and Confident - Let him see that you are a confident woman who really does enjoy her life. Show him through your actions that you are a charming and charismatic person. 

5. Flirt – Yes, flirt and depending on your personality style; you can be demure or slightly more daring. Keep it light and playful (avoid coming across too sexy.) You want to peak his interest not turn this into foreplay. 

The most important thing you can do is to have fun. Smile, flirt, and be playful. Keep the conversation light. Ask questions that are easy to answer and keep you from sounding like an FBI interrogator. If you would like some useful tips on how to flirt successfully and with ease; send me an email at:

Cyndi@undeniablyirresistible.com to receive my free guide to the "The Art of Flirting".

This is the end of the report. Hopefully, you will use these 5 tips on your next date. If you do, watch how often you are asked out on a second date. Keep it simple and enjoy.  

Have a lovely day. 

I am wishing you much love and unlimited joy, 

Cyndi Harris, HP 

Relationship Solutions Coach and Man Whisperer "Intimacy Creator Savant" 

And author of the forthcoming book: 

“The Official Handbook to Becoming Irresistible” 

(Learn How to Become a Woman Who Is Positively Unforgettable.)

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