I have been abused
Mentally, Emotionally & Physically
I have been betrayed
Lied to and cheated on
I have had my belongings and money taken from me
I have lived with a crack addict And had to live his life instead of mine
I have been hurt so bad All I could think about is how to end my life.
Worst of All ...
I have lost myself
The me that was is no longer In my mind, the only way out was to get out. My mind was consumed with what I needed to do in order to end my life and be sure everything was in order so no one would be left with any of my problems. I had these thoughts on two different levels. 1st I knew I had to do something to myself before things got so bad that my husband would do something to me and he would have to pay for it. I couldn’t let my death be on his hands. 2nd I knew that I caused my children too much pain and stress and they would be better off without me. The hurt I felt for causing my family pain and stress was too much to handle and this was the only way to make it up to them.
I know some of the things I am about to disclose are considered taboo. I know this because when I tell my story, I suddenly have no friends left, no one wants to associate with me for fear my bad luck might rub off on them.
I’m telling you these things in hopes of helping someone else who may be going through the same types of pains. My life was turned upside down and I was ready to give up. The things I will be telling you in the next few posts may not seem real and may detail some shocking events, however I can guarantee they are real. Please don’t judge me until you hear the whole story.
If you have ever been abused…If you have ever been betrayed…If you have ever been hurt so bad...If you ever felt like dying was an option to relieve the pain… Have you ever wanted to be loved so bad, you turned to someone or something that harmed your life in ways you never thought possible?
Everything in life is a gift from God.
He has allowed us to live through every experience
He has given us knowledge and wisdom from every experience.
We do not know his reason
Maybe it is so that one day we can help someone else in the same situation.