Today, I want to ask you a few questions:
- Do you feel unappreciated by others?
- Do your contributions and talents go unnoticed?
- Do you suppress feelings of frustration because, you are trying to be nice and not rock the "boat" at home or at work?
- Do you feel that others treat you disrespectfully?
If you answered yes to any of these questions? Then, you may have an issue with self-perception. People's treatment of us tends to be a direct reflection of how we treat ourselves. If you treat yourself well; others will too.
For example, if you notice people:
- Talk over you doing regular conversations or disagreements.
- Do not respond to your requests for help or to complete a task you assigned them (Co-workers. your kids,etc.)
- Make you feel "invisible".
Then these things may be occurring because you:
- Are not speaking up and articulating your opinion with confidence.
- Are not holding people accountable to complete the task/s you have given them and in your frustration you simply take care of it yourself. (This simply encourages people to ignore you because, they know you will do their work for them.)
- Appear to lack self-confidence and you tend to "hide" from recognition.
Our self-assured or poor opinion of ourselves shows up in our work, relationships (family, friends, romantic), and in the general day to day activities of our lives.
If you constantly feel frustrated or overwhelmed; find yourself constantly complaining about a lack of cooperation or help; or allow others to ignore you. You are encouraging behavior that says it is okay to treat you carelessly and with a certain level of disrespect.
Maybe you grew up believing:
- You had to make everything right for others, go the extra mile (Even, if it meant ignoring your needs.)
- Do whatever it takes to keep the peace (Even, if it meant loss of personal peace of mind.)
- That having a good opinion of yourself is arrogant and uncomely behavior (especially for a woman).
Whatever has brought you to this point in your life. Now, is the time to change how you feel about yourself and finally experience a life that is more complete and satisfying. Take charge of your personal self-opinion and acknowledge you are an amazing person who deserves to receive the best. Others will follow your lead.
Here are a few things you can do to get started:
- Stop taking on other peoples responsibilities. (Co-workers, spouse/partner, your children, etc.)
- Say "No" more often. If you feel uneasy about a request for your time and attention because, you know it will "stretch" your already limited time. Just say "No".
- Treat yourself kindly. Find ways to pamper and allow yourself time to relax.
- Make time for things you enjoy and be firm about this time being just for you. Let other people work around your schedule for a change.
- Speak up; if you feel strongly about something or have an idea that might be helpful let others know. Even, if the idea is rejected. At least you spoke up and others know you are unafraid to speak your mind.
- Be thoughtful and courteous to others and allow them to be helpful for you as well.
- Learn to accept compliments. Yes, this seems like an odd thing to say, but learning how to be more gracious encourages others to treat you with more respect and look for additional ways to make your life easier and more pleasant.
Utilize the above list and gradually you will see a positive change in how others treat you and even more important; how you are enjoying and finding new ways to honor and respect yourself.
You are always in control of your own good opinion of yourself so, lead by example.
Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,
Cyndi Harris, HP
Relationship Solutions Coach, Joyologist (Expert in the Art of Joyful Living), and Author
Click here to schedule your 20 minute Complimentary Irresistible Solutions Session and go to the Solutions Session page. Let's talk about ways to increase the joy in your life.
Thank you, I am glad you found the post useful.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Wow. Excellent points. I very much enjoyed this post. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Have a great day!