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In the movie The Marriage Contract, a couple receiving premarital counseling is told that they should prepare for marriage as if they were starting a new business.  The goals, roles, rules, and expectations should to be clearly understood before the two parties sign on the dotted line.  This is not to discount the importance of love, affection, or romance; those things matter, but in reality, two people coming together in a marriage are actually starting a joint business venture.

A marriage has to be managed, nurtured, and protected, just like a business.  The two people in the marriage become the managers responsible for jointly attending to those things that keep the marriage strong and healthy.  Where people mess up is that they aren’t committed to managing the marriage.  They can deal with the “fun” stuff, but don’t want to deal with the “hard” stuff.  Guidelines about how the marriage will operate aren't discussed.  Expectations aren't expressed.  When there is no commitment to manage; when there are no clearly defined rules and roles; when expectations aren’t clear, the marriage has no structure and its effectiveness diminishes.

Marriage can be one of the most fulfilling things you ever do in life.  To share your days with someone who truly wants to share their days with you can bring you the most joy that you will ever experience.  But if there is no commitment; if both partners aren’t “hands-on” in managing the marriage, it will soon cease to exist; just like a business.

SoulVisionTV.com

Something to think about:

"Guilt is a manmade emotion and is a huge time/life waster. Yes, we all mess up from time to time, but there comes a time when you must let go and move on with your life. Forgiveness (Self and others) and Love are Divine." - Cyndi Harris 

Question:

1. Which emotions (guilt, Forgiveness, or Love) do you indulge?
2. Which ones dictate the direction of your life?
3. How often do you allow yourself to relax in these Divine emotions?

Life is a joyful experience when you decide it should be.

Have a wonderful day.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Lifestyle and Relationship Coach @ Undeniably Irresistible

www.undeniablyirresistible.com

La Dolce Vita is Italian for "The Sweet Life". It means to live a life that is enjoyable, lavish, and opulent; allowing yourself to indulge in the finer things in life that bring you pleasure.

"It's time to celebrate love and living the good life."

Love is a pleasure too many women forgo. Or if they do get into relationships; the relationships are less satisfying than expected. Since happiness is an inside job, now is a good time to take a look at your love life and decide if you are happy with your current status. 

If not, be sure to register for an exclusive specialty teleconference I am hosting on Wednesday 7/10/13 6 to 7pm (EDT)... called "The $1000/hour Question". I will be offering you tips to improve the type of men you are attracting if you are single or begin to transform your relationship if currently involved. I am only offering this call to 30 women and as of today nearly 1/2 of the 30 spots have been reserved.

So go to: www.1000dollarperhourquestion.com and reserve your spot. And while visiting the site; have some fun and fill out the quizzes to uncover your potential Millionaire Match.

Have an amazing day,

Cyndi Harris

Lifestyle and Romance Coach

Hello lovely ladies,

Have you ever really thought about the type of man you would like to date and maybe one day marry?

As a relationship coach, I have met far too many women with vague ideas or cookie cutter answers to this question. It's seems that more time is spent planning careers, vacations, etc. then, their love life.

Or the opposite is true: The guidelines they set are so restrictive that they miss out on wonderful dating opportunities.

My coaching experience has shown me; if a woman is truly going to find happiness in love and romance. She needs to:

• Be open-minded (Love can be full of interesting and pleasant surprises.)
• Ready to have fun.
• Be in tune with who she is as a woman; emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
• And understand the type of man that really speaks to her heart. 

So, to get you started go to: www.1000dollarperhourquestion.com and

click on the Millionaire Match Quiz to learn some basics about the type of man who might be a good fit for you.

Have fun and get ready for some eye-opening questions created to get you thinking about your current or future love interest. 

Be sure to fill out your contact info to receive your

millionaire match results.

Happy 4th of July, everyone!!!

Quiz Update:

I want to thank the ladies who have registered for the $1000/hour Question teleconference call on Wednesday 7/10/13 the spots are filling up and apologize to anyone who filled out the quiz; the form had a bad link so, I did not receive your answers (Gotta love technology : )

All is good... The link is fixed. So, check out the quiz and get glimpse at your potential millionaire type : )

My coaching experience has shown me; if a woman is truly going to find happiness in love and romance.

• She needs to:
• Be open-minded (Love can be full of interesting and pleasant surprises.)
• Ready to have fun.
• Be in tune with who she is as a woman; emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
• And understand the type of man who really speaks to her heart.

www.1000dollarperhourquestion.com then,

click on the Millionaire Match Quiz

Enjoy!

Hello everyone,

Today, I want to ask you a few questions:

• Do you feel unappreciated by others?
• Do your contributions and talents go unnoticed?
• Do you suppress feelings of frustration because, you are trying to be nice and not rock the "boat" at home or at work?
• Do you feel that others treat you disrespectfully?

If you answered yes to any of these questions? Then, you may have an issue with self-perception. People's treatment of us tends to be a direct reflection of how we treat ourselves. If you treat yourself well; others will too.

For example, if you notice people:

• Talk over you doing regular conversations or disagreements.
• Do not respond to your requests for help or to complete a task you assigned them (Co-workers. your kids,etc.)
• Make you feel "invisible".

Then these things may be occurring because you:

• Are not speaking up and articulating your opinion with confidence.
• Are not holding people accountable to complete the task/s you have given them and in your frustration you simply take care of it yourself. (This simply encourages people to ignore you because, they know you will do their work for them.)
• Appear to lack self-confidence and you tend to "hide" from recognition.

Our self-assured or poor opinion of ourselves shows up in our work, relationships (family, friends, romantic), and in the general day to day activities of our lives.

If you constantly feel frustrated or overwhelmed; find yourself constantly complaining about a lack of cooperation or help; or allow others to ignore you. You are encouraging behavior that says it is okay to treat you carelessly and with a certain level of disrespect.

Maybe you grew up believing:

• You had to make everything right for others, go the extra mile (Even, if it meant ignoring your needs.)
• Do whatever it takes to keep the peace (Even, if it meant loss of personal peace of mind.)
• That having a good opinion of yourself is arrogant and uncomely behavior (especially for a woman).

Whatever has brought you to this point in your life. Now, is the time to change how you feel about yourself and finally experience a life that is more complete and satisfying. Take charge of your personal self-opinion and acknowledge you are an amazing person who deserves to receive the best. Others will follow your lead.

Here are a few things you can do to get started:

• Stop taking on other peoples responsibilities. (Co-workers, spouse/partner, your children, etc.) 
• Say "No" more often. If you feel uneasy about a request for your time and attention because, you know it will "stretch" your already limited time. Just say "No".
• Treat yourself kindly. Find ways to pamper and allow yourself time to relax.
• Make time for things you enjoy and be firm about this time being just for you. Let other people work around your schedule for a change.
• Speak up; if you feel strongly about something or have an idea that might be helpful let others know. Even, if the idea is rejected. At least you spoke up and others know you are unafraid to speak your mind.
• Be thoughtful and courteous to others and allow them to be helpful for you as well.
• Learn to accept compliments. Yes, this seems like an odd thing to say, but learning how to be more gracious encourages others to treat you with more respect and look for additional ways to make your life easier and more pleasant.

Utilize the above list and gradually you will see a positive change in how others treat you and even more important; how you are enjoying and finding new ways to honor and respect yourself.

You are always in control of your own good opinion of yourself so, lead by example.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Joyologist (Expert in the Art of Joyful Living), and Author 

Click here to schedule your 20 minute Complimentary Irresistible Solutions Session and go to the Solutions Session page. Let's talk about ways to increase the joy in your life.

As a relationship coach, I have the privilege of meeting a variety of people. And, while my client base is mostly women; I talk to men from all walks of life as well. The average everyday man to the mega rich; plus, living in S. FL also offers me an international selection of guys to talk to. 

I love it because, I have such a great deal of respect for men. I notice men everyday in my travels and day to day activities. In the morning as I am driving to the store. I notice men waiting on street corners with coolers containing their lunch in work clothes and steel toe work boots waiting for their ride to pick them up as they head to work a hot and dirty job that most people would never consider because it pays so little for such tedious labor. It may not be the best job, but these men show up every day rain or shine.

Then, continuing with my day, I walk into my favorite Starbucks and in line ahead of me are the "Money Men". The men who spend their days in air conditioned offices working with millions; sometimes billions of dollars worth of financial transactions. They are dressed in their designer suits or other well-groomed and appropriate attire that shows their status as high-powered movers and shakers. They are talking about today’s business, golf, or where they will meet for dinner and drinks after work. 

The contrast is extreme, but underneath it all. These men are the same. Their dreams and goals are to be happy, to love and be loved. They want to be appreciated and respected by the woman they love and their children (if applicable) or if single they long for the love and companionship of a woman who understands that he goes to work every day to be the best man he can be for her. A good woman is the inspiration for most men's achievements.

I watch this process day in and day out and as I listen to women complain about the lack of available good men or the disengaged behavior of their current men. I have to sit back and think; do we even know what a good man is? 

I hear the sincere heartache from both men and women. The pressure they feel to live up to standards that may or may not be viable for who they are at the moment; not feeing appreciated for doing the best they know how to do, right now. Women are ready to discard men because, they seem to lack ambition or are not providing them with the lifestyle they want... right now. Men are ready to walk away from women because, they feel they are unable to be their woman's champion.

It may be true or their lives may be at the beginning of a new positive personal growth cycle, but the frustration of wanting more... Right now... sometimes keeps us from enjoying what and who we currently have. It is perfectly natural to desire more out of life, but we need to be grateful for what we currently have. Once we are; we will be spiritually aligned to receive more and improve our life and relationships.

At times I feel like the media has created a level of discontent in some women. It causes these women to wish for a lifestyle that: 

• Is inappropriate for her and her true life goals. 
• Creates discontent and impatience; causing her to lose sight of the ways her life is already improving.
• Compels her to pursue a man or men; she is not prepared to create and maintain a relationship (life ambitions, money mindset, etc. may not match up) 

Maybe, a woman has a diamond in the rough at home; who with her loving support and belief in his dreams will become the next major player in business or his chosen field. Many successful men began their careers from humble beginnings. It has taken them years to acquire the success they currently enjoy and many of these men have enjoyed the loving support of a woman who knows him and has been with him from his early days.

Professional athletes seem to be a good example of this behavior. A good portion of them, if involved in a staple relationship, are usually with a high school or college sweetheart. Shared values and mindset are more relevant than most people realize. This is not exclusive to professional sports. If you look at some of the most successful men; you will notice the happiest ones are with a woman who shares their:

• Money mindset
• Personal interests
• And general values

Keep this in mind when searching for your next romantic partner. If you are currently in a long-term relationship; you may need to do some soul-searching to see if you the 2 of you began your life together with mutual basic needs. If not, then what was the attraction and where are you now in regards to your life plans; separately and together. 

The goal of this article is to get you to think about you and your mate. Are a good fit? Or if you are single; to really think about what you desire in a relationship, who you are as a woman, and the qualities you have to attract this man to you.

In part 2; I will break it down and offer you some useful tips to point you in the right direction to personal happiness in your love relationship whether you are single or in a relationship.

Remember, life is constantly changing. We grow into people with different and new desires along the way. Our love lives can be one of our greatest joys or biggest heartaches. Take this time to look at men or your man with "new" eyes. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you "see".

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Author, and Joyologist

www.undeniablyirresistible.com

A man wants a partner not a competitor. You should too. 

In part one, I asked you to evaluate or revaluate, what you are searching for in a man and your romantic relationship. I mentioned how men really are looking for the opportunity to love a woman who really appreciates him and what he does for her to make her life easier.

I asked you to take a look at shared values and to check your money mindset to see if it matches your mate or potential mate and to search for ways you may be able to resolve conflict by becoming more aware of your relationship patterns.

Now, in this article. I want to talk about creating a quality relationship with a man. Read the top line again... A man wants a partner not a competitor. You should too.

What do I mean? In the pursuit of better education, jobs, and recognition; ladies we have taken on a pseudo masculine approach to life and unfortunately our romantic relationships as well. While learning how to increase our level of desire and life ambitions; we adopted a man’s view on business, competition, success, and as role models. Since, men have been the dominant faces and gender in the workplace for decades, when we started to emerge into the work place with our intellect and skills. We looked to men and their behaviors to get ahead. This can be a good thing if you understand how to disconnect the masculine aggression once you leave the office. 

Men are wonderful sources of information about business and business processes since they have been the dominant trendsetters in the business world. Only recently has it begun to shift (Thank goodness). And yes, we do have some wonderful examples of business success who are women, but if you read their autobiographies and biographies you will notice most of their early years were spent learning how to compete and at times survive in a “Man’s” world. 

Unfortunately, this aggressive style spilled into their personal lives leaving a trail of emotional heartache, broken relationships, and marriages. (Not all, some of these women have found a happy balance between work and their home lives.) It is important to rejoice regarding our success and career milestones, but what about the carnage that has become our romantic lives. It is time to put an end to this unproductive cycle and reclaim the romance in our lives. 

Tell me, when you come home from work do you want to relax and enjoy the peace and joy that is home or do you want to gear up for the next battle between you and your man? 

You want to relax, right? Guess what, so does he. Creating a loving and peaceful home requires continuous work on both sides. I know it sounds like common sense, but we know from personal experience that what sounds good in theory does not always transfer into the real world. 

Well, allow me to suggest a useful tip. Make a list of the things you and your man argue about. (If you are single, list the things that broke up your last relationship). Now, look over the list and tell me how many of those things could have been avoided or resolved with periodic discussions about the current state of your relationship: 

• Any changes/shifts in mutual goals or values (We all change, grow, and develop at different rates; that means our partnerships will too.) 

• Any changes in personal goals (Education, children, personal growth, etc) 

• Learning how to listen more effectively to what your man is/was saying and not trying to “think” for him. 

• Judgmental opinions that are/were fear-based and prevented you from really listening to what your partner was saying or trying to do that would benefit you and your family. 

I could go on and on with this list. Ladies, when we are wired into our right-brain masculine mode of thinking and problem-solving. We can become very rigid in our response to our relationship challenges or as I prefer to call them… “Windows of opportunity for personal growth”; when this happens mutually satisfying resolution is nearly impossible. You now have 2 competitors trying to basically “beat” the other one into submission. It is a disaster which unfortunately if not corrected; leads to broken relationships and unhappy men and women returning to the world of dating. You simply cannot have a real man and a pseudo man existing inside a relationship. The feminine must be properly represented to create or restore peace.

So, I am sure you are wondering how to resolve this issue that affects so many potentially great relationships. 

1. My first recommendation is to understand who you are as a person and a Woman. What do you need to be happy? In general and your romantic relationships; too often we get caught up in some other person’s dream and discover later on it was a huge mistake. So, be authentic. 

2. Next be honest about the type of man you would enjoy creating a long-lasting relationship. Your dream guy may not be the person you have been fantasizing about. He may be someone totally different from the ones you keep pursuing.

• How will you know?
• Well, if you keep dating the same type of men and the relationship keep repeating the same unsuccessful relationship patterns. He mostly likely is not the right type of man for you. You are trying to “fit’ into someone else’s dream. Be bold and daring; take the time to write out who you really desire then, learn what you need to know to invite this man into your life. 

3. Stop trying to be so “tough”. The “I don’t need a man” attitude will keep you single and in fault-finding state of mind when it comes to men. This holds true even if you are currently in a relationship; you will find ways to undermine your man and his efforts to be of assistance to you. Learn how to enjoy the softer side of your personality and allow men to step up, help you, and appreciate your feminine nature. 

4. Stop trying to do this alone. Hire the services of someone who can help you unlock your hidden desires and dreams for a wonderful and satisfying relationship. We all at one time or another need the help of someone who holds us accountable to our dreams. Our love life is no different. 

Remember the definition of insanity is: 

“Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein 

Does this sound like your life and romantic relationships? If so, here’s your chance to stop repeating dead-end habits and learn the skills to finally be happy. The steps outlined in this article can be the starting point for true romantic success, but they will only work if you are willing to step out of your comfort zone and be accountable for your love life and there is no reason to go it alone.

Go to: www.undeniablyirresistible.com and request your Complimentary Solutions Session for guidance and some additional helpful hints.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Author, and Joyologist

www.undeniablyirresistible.com

Hello everyone,

How are you? I hope each of you had a wonderful weekend. Mother's day has come and gone and for every mom out there I hope your day was an amazing one filled with much laughter and love. Personally, my day was perfect. I spent time with my beloved (He surprised me with a lovely and thoughtful gift), heard from my children (They live throughout the US), and received and shared messages of goodwill and love with family and friends.

It was a memorable day and as usual it left me thinking about love. Love is such a gigantic topic that we do our best to pigeonhole and water down because, it seems to cause such discomfort in so many people. And, while I appreciate holidays like Mother's day. It always makes me curious to know how people express their love for mom throughout the year.

I realize I am truly blessed because I have a great relationship with my 3 incredible sons. We talk often and are a consistent part of each others lives. I love them dearly and they return my love without hesitation.

I believe it is so easy for us because, I raised them to be loving and strong men. We never leave each other, hang up the phone, or finish a texting conversation without saying "I love you." It is a natural-feeling habit for us. I let them know that saying "I love you." is a good thing and not something to fear. Even when, we have had our disagreements over the years; we still come back to love. Open communication is definitely the key. They are awesome young men and I could talk about them all day, but I want to share a quote with you that eloquently expresses the importance of fearlessly saying "I love you" to your loved ones.

It is from Leo Buscaglia's book "Born for Love". It is a wonderful book full of joy and wisdom. I highly recommend it to anyone who is ready to change their belief systems around the topic of love.

Here it is:

Never Tire of Saying "I Love You"

"Such a simple phrase, 'I love you,' yet I cannot think of any words with greater power. Francois Villon, the French poet, wrote, 'I love you. These are easy words to say, yet my heart fails as I say them, for their meaning is as full and musical as the bell of doom.' 

We should never tire of expressing our love, for certainly we never tire of hearing it expressed. Strange how simple it is to use these words with inanimate things. We feel safe in loving our car, a new coat, or spaghetti and meatballs. But, we have grave difficulties verbalizing our love for other human beings, even to those closest to us...

The message 'I love you,' is not something that goes without saying. To the contrary, it needs to be said whenever and wherever love is present." - Leo Buscaglia

I think this quote expresses how we seem to fear saying "I love you," to the people we care for so deeply.

What stops you from using those 3 little words more often. Is it:

• A fear of rejection
• Loss of perceived power
• A need to control
• Fear of an awkward moment (Say it more often and it becomes less traumatic)

Tell me. I have heard numerous reasons over the years and I have had to overcome my own fears. Especially, when I initially fall in love and I am worried I may say it too soon or the other person may not feel the same way. Yes, even I have a had an insecure moment or 2. But, I have learned from experience, if it is on my heart to say it then, I need to say it. Whether a person receives it or not is their issue not mine.

"Love is meant to be shared not kept as a secret locked within our hearts." - Cyndi Harris

Now, having shared this with you, I am asking you to do a simple assignment for me. Actually it is more for you than me.

Today, and everyday that follows, find 3 people who you can say "I love you." Just say it and be okay if they do not say it in return. If it is someone close to you where these words have not flown freely; be patient and be prepared to answer some questions or receive a strange look or 2. 

Love is an ongoing process that requires courage, fearlessness, joy, persistence, and trust. It is worth any and all effect you put into it. So, have faith and know that you are love and you are loved. Regardless of the circumstances that may surround your life so, pass it along and watch how the blessing of love shows up more often in your life.

Share the love and leave your comments below; also, pass this blog post on to anyone you believe will benefit from its simple message. Thank you for your continued interest and support.

Have a wonderful day and as always; I am wishing for you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Author, & Joyologist

You may reach me at: Cyndi@undeniablyirresistible.com or www.undeniablyirresistible.com or www.redtentwisdom.com

Yes, I have flipped around this well known quote. Typically, the statement is “Behind Every Great Man is a Great Woman.” It is a wonderful quote and very simply explains how important a great relationship is for a man to truly reach various levels of success in his life. History is full of numerous examples of incredibly successful men who had wives, lovers, and/or mistresses who inspired them to be more than ordinary and reach great levels of accomplishment. 

Monuments like the Taj Mahal are constant reminders of how powerful love is and the lengths that a grateful and happy man will go to express his love for an inspiring woman. A woman who was, at times, quietly in the background offering her love and support for his ideas and visions of success; his partner, love, and many times his best friend. 

Knowing how powerful the right love connection can be for true happiness and success in life. I decided to also point out how important is for a woman to also have a truly wonderful and supportive man in her life; someone who rouses her to be and do more; a man who is confident, lovable, and passionately believes in her and her dreams. 

To prove my point here are few modern day women who have amazing and loving support from their men: 

• Michelle Obama (Husband - President of the United States Barack Obama) 

• Angelina Jolie (Life Partner – Brad Pitt) 

• Jada Pinkett-Smith (Husband – Will Smith) 

• Beyonce (Husband – Jay Z) 

Are a few wonderful examples of women with a powerhouse man in her corner; these ladies understand the importance of having a great life partner because, if you really think about it being married or in a long-term relationship is about much more than romance. It is about coming together with common goals and life visions. Our individual goals are important, but having someone who you can share your dreams, fears, and victories is priceless. 

Unfortunately, too often, as we move forward on our path to personal success we leave out one of our greatest fans. The man who loves us and wants nothing but the best for us and truly does want to offer assistance and guidance (when requested); learning how to invite him in requires courage, humility, and trust. 

You must be willing to communicate your ambitions, desires, and goals with the one you have selected to share your life. Or if you are single, now is the time to develop the skills to communicate these ideas with a future mate. Learning how to be supportive is not only about being there for your man. It is also about letting him be available for you. He wants to help you, if he is unaware of what you are thinking about; how can he be of assistance? 

So, the next time you are feeling discouraged and alone in your quest for success. Think about the women I listed in the beginning of this article. They have found a healthy balance of individual success within a loving partnership/relationship. You can too. It is all about communication. 

Here are a few questions for you: 

• Do you have some misguided belief that you must pursue your desires alone? (The “Superwoman” syndrome; I don’t need a man. I don’t need anyone. I can do this on my own.) 
• Does your beloved know about your secret ambitions and goals? 
• If yes, good for you. If not, why not?
  • Are you afraid to personally step up to your dreams and know that if you share with your partner you will need to finally take action? 
  • Are afraid of possible ridicule? (Fear is usually “Much ado about nothing.” Take that leap of faith; you deserve to live your best life.) 
  • Has your beloved ever been unkind about any personal goals you have shared with him? If not, then let him know what is on your mind… Remember you are in a partnership with this person. 

So, if you are ready to put aside your fears, stop trying to be superwoman, and finally bring your beloved back into your life, but are unsure where to begin. Let’s talk, I am here for you. I believe in you and I want you to have a life that fulfills you and allows you to join the ranks of great women with a great guy standing “behind” her. 

As always, I am wishing you much love and unlimited joy, 

Cyndi Harris, HP 

Relationship Solutions Coach and Man Whisperer “Intimacy Creation Savant” 

Author of the forthcoming book “Official Handbook to Becoming Irresistible – Learn How to be a Woman Who is Positively Unforgettable.” 

www.redtentwisdom.com or www.undeniablyirresistible.com 

Hello everyone and welcome to the next installment from the "How to Love a Man" series. I certainly hope the previous posts helped you feel a little closer to your beloved or offered some valuable insight to the single ladies who are preparing to meet their future beloved.

Loving a man and being loved by a great guy is such a delectable and delightful feeling, but if you are feeling a little lonely in your relationship let me ask you a few questions:

• When was the last time you really looked at your beloved? I mean really looked at him and noticed how attractive and strong he is.
• Have you ever taken the time to notice the shape of his hands, the width of his strong shoulders, how he stands when he feels really good, or the way he moves when he is feeling momentarily discouraged. 
• Have you ever just sat in a room and watched your man move about totally unaware of your admiration? Or sat across the table from him listening to him share something important with you? It can be mesmerizing. The sound of his voice or the way moves throughout his space.
• Have you thought about how much you enjoy his hugs or the way he smiles at you?
• How about the way he feels in your arms when you hug him?

Affection is impulsive and can be sparked by the feelings the previous questions can create. You may observe how your man looks and suddenly feel the urge to be close to him. So, if you don't remember how your beloved feels when you hug him. Does this mean you haven't hugged him lately? Why not? Men need love too.

Yes, your big, strong, and possibly silent type needs to feel your soft warm arms wrapped around him from time to time for no particular reason. He needs to know that you just love being close to him as much as he loves being close to you.

Men may seem all tough on the outside, but inside they can be as soft and wonderful as a "marshmallow". Just because your beloved may appear invincible; doesn't mean he is untouchable or has no need for your affection.

He may be craving:

• The feel of your skin.
• The lingering scent of your perfume on his shirt after you hug him.
• The comfort of your touch.
• Or many other things that having an affectionate and loving woman in his life provides.

Affection is a huge topic even Leo Buscaglia's in his book "Born for Love" mentions the following:

"Science has proven that a simple hug is one of the most convenient and inexpensive therapies available. Yet, we remain touch starved."

He continues to talk about some interesting information he gathered while doing research for another book. He says " People consistently mentioned that there were certain qualities that they found to be essential for a happy and long lasting relationship." Affection (touching, holding, and stroking) was named the most important by the majority of the participants. Surprisingly, sex ranked # 8 on the list.

Affection, unfortunately seems to be one of the most neglected aspect in most relationships. It is unfortunate, since nonsexual touch is so vital to our emotional and physical well-being. Being affectionate is a fun, simple, and sweet way to show our beloved how much we care and enable him to share his affection for us as well.

This should be such an effortless thing for couples to do, but I know some women who withhold affection. They do this because, they are worried if they hug or touch their man; that the simple nonsexual interaction may be misinterpreted as a sexual come-on and then their man will want sex. So, to avoid unwanted sexual advances, they completely avoid contact with their man.

This is a very sad situation because, now we have two touch-starved people living a very sterile existence. Leaving sex as the only way either one of them receives any human contact from each other. No wonder sex becomes such a big issue for their man. It is the only time he gets to be physically close to his beloved.

So, if you want to avoid this scenario. I recommend that you make a conscious effort to touch your beloved. There are easy and simple ways you can invite more affection into your relationship without turning every touch into a sexual encounter (Unless that is your goal... If so, then go for it.). For example:

• Touch his hand when you are talking to him. 
• Touch his arm as he is passing you in the hallway or kitchen.
• Offer to rub his shoulders if he looks tired after a long day. (Bonus, be sure to mention how strong he is as you are rubbing his shoulders. He will "melt" under your care and compliments.)
• Give him a hug and tell how much you appreciate him then, walk away.
• When he is sitting in front of the TV in his "papa bear" chair give him a kiss on the cheek or forehead. (But, not while he is watching the game or any other event that has an intense hold on his attention. This will avoid aggravation on both sides.)
• Be creative and make a list of ways you can show more affection to the one you love.

These are just a few suggestions. They are simple non-threatening ways to bring more nonsexual contact back into your love life and joy back into your relationship. Being close to your beloved should be one of the things that makes you feel adored and cherished in your relationship. So, relax and have some fun.

Now, go give your sweetie a hug. If he hasn't felt your arms around him in awhile and looks at you kind of strange. Just smile and say, " I am having such a wonderful day. I wanted to share my excitement with you." Then, smile and walk away. Be confident in the knowledge that he will come around and who knows he may have a few happy surprises for you too.

That is all for now. Enjoy, we will talk again soon. Plus, for more fun and playful ways to enhance your love life. Sign up for your 20 minute Complimentary Solutions session at www.redtentwisdom.com or www.undeniablyirresistible.com.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Man Whisperer (Intimacy Creation Savant), Author, Radio Host of Red Tent Wisdom radio - Broadcasting live starting Tuesday 4/30/13 at 11am EDT. (Blogtalkradio)

Hello everyone,

Question? How are you?

Looks like a pretty innocent question, right? We hear it everyday throughout our day from family, friends, and strangers. We hear it so often we seem to slip into autopilot when we answer this question.

What is your normal response? I'm:

• Fine
• Ok
• Sad
• Lousy
• Angry
• Scared
• Sick

And the list goes on. Too often the responses are energy-sapping like the ones I listed above. How often have you heard responses like these. How does it usually make you feel? Bummed out, right?

Think about it. If you were asking the question in good faith, did you really want to hear an awful answer. We all can be compassionate, but sometimes we would like to hear some good news.

It can become so overwhelming at times and there are probably some people you no longer ask how they are doing. Because, you know they will not have anything good to say. So, you avoid them or limit your conversation with them; which is perfectly fine. You have the right to protect your good feelings and peace of mind.

But, what if you are the one who provides the "downer" answers to this little question? We all have days when we don't feel our best; this is normal, but what if you consciously decided to answer differently. Let's do this again:

"How are you?"

Now, instead of using the standard response to this little question; what if you responded by saying I Am:

• Amazing (I got up this morning and realized I live an amazing life.)
• Excited
• Delightful (I am great. My life is delightful and full of joy.)
• Fabulous
• Fantastic
• Magnificent
• Wonderful

Can you see the direction I am heading with these responses? Say them with me:

• "I Am Amazing."
• "I Am Excited."
• "I Am Fabulous"
• "I Am Fantastic."
• "I Am Magnificent."
• "I Am Wonderful."

How do you feel? Better, right?

Yes, I'll admit it may feel a little awkward at first, but do this on a regular basis and I guarantee you will feel better and your life will begin to shift in a more positive direction. Gradually, you will begin to notice more happy and interesting things taking place around you and you are ready to receive this newfound joy. It can be really exciting and fun.

Will this simple exercise change your life overnight? It might, because, how you talk about your life and life experiences does show up in the outward appearance of your life. But, if not overnight; at least you will be on track to making some pleasant changes in your life and how it shows up around you.

So, instead of talking about lack, misery, sickness, etc. Talk about the things you are happy about or grateful for. Let the universe know you are in a good place by talking about what makes you feel good and guess what? You will be provided with more reasons to enjoy your life and the world around you.

How can I be so sure? Because, I am living and loving proof this works. When I:

• Was going through a major health crisis (Fibromyalgia) that I left me in constant chronic pain. I chose to speak positive and healing words. I am completely healed and naturally pain-free. (I'll share how on a different day.)
• Walked away from a 10 years relationship with a man I loved dearly. I chose to speak words of gratitude for the time spent and lessons learned from an interesting and wise "teacher". (New love has entered my life.)
• Moved away from family and friends to begin a new chapter in my life in a new state where I knew no one. I chose to speak words of excitement and joy for the opportunities I knew where coming my way. (I truly wake up thrilled about each new day.)

I can list many more life events that I have used the power of words to create incredible experiences, but I mainly shared my personal experiences with you because:

I hope you allow yourself to utilize the power of your words to positively reconstruct your life too. 

So, let's start simple. Tell me, "How are you?"

If you are ready to live and love your life in the most joyous and spectacular way click on my website link www.undeniablyirresistible.com  and schedule your Complimentary Irresistible Solutions Session. It is a fun and pleasant way to receive a tip or two that may delightfully change your life.

Have an amazing day and let's talk soon,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Man Whisperer (Intimacy Creation Savant), Author, and general Joyologist

Motivational quotes to inspire you!

"Let [abundance] flow through your thoughts, your actions, your words and your feelings. Let go of the doubts and fears that seem so real but which exist only because you keep them alive."

 
"Replace those doubts with beautiful, authentic dreams. Replace your fears with powerful, positive determination and the commitment to be your best."

 - Ralph Marston