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About the Author

Clarence Coggins is an Internet Market. He has extensive experience with applying Web 2.0 technology in the promotion of business and educational ventures. He also works a Leads Broker with the Silver Fox Leads Factory to contact him you can email thebestleadscompanyintheworld@gmail.com or call him at 973-943-4073.

I love automation. It's one of the reasons I have a business, but it can also be a big pain in the rear when it doesn't work.

I remember this one week where I was having terrible problems with my meeting scheduler. I was using a service to set up complimentary appointments with prospective clients and I'd done this big promotion about it. What was supposed to happen is the person would go to this page, click on a link to see my available calendar, and in about 2-3 clicks they're all set.

They'd get an email confirmation and the meeting time would pop into my calendar. No back and forth, no wasted time, boom - there is the appointment.

I had a number of people trying to set up their free time to connect but they weren't getting the handy little meeting schedule. Instead every one of them kept getting an "error 404" page ... those error pages always get on my last nerve especially when it means I have a link not working! Ever had that happen to you?

So what was happening is I kept getting phone call after phone call telling me the link didn't work, asking for next steps, requesting a return phone call. Some were even downright insults saying things like "this is unprofessional" (and yes, remember I said it was a free offer ---sometimes those are the worst kind when things go wrong).

Well once I figured out what the problem was, I'd missed at least 20 prospective meetings. I had to personally call each person back who left a voicemail and arrange the meeting manually, which is what I'd set up the service to help me avoid in the first place! That free time turned into triple the hours I'd planned for.

After that little incident, I learned my lesson. I'll give you a few quick hitter tips you can use so you don't end up falling prey to an automation disaster like this.

Always Test Your Automated Systems

When I sent out the promotion emails and let people know the links were open, I should have already tested the entire process myself along with having a friend or assistant test it. I know this now. Most of the time I'll remember this horrible week and I will have someone go through the entire process as though they are signing up. That way, any errors can be worked out before the whole world hears about it.

Remember, It's People Over Process

Many people think more of their super fabulous tools and systems than what the experience will be like for the end user. If you take the time to put yourself in the other person's shoes -- you know, the person who might just be investing in you or your stuff? -- you will know if you're headed in the right direction. Think about things like, "how easy is this to use?", "how many buttons would I click?", "does this frustrate me more than endear me to the service?".

You should make it easy for people to do business with you, not harder. The more difficult it is, the less likely they will buy.

Always Have a Back Up

Sure in this case I was the back-up. I literally sat down and made a list of all the people and manually called them myself. But what if there was a better way? If I had an assistant at the time, I would have had more help. Or if I learned through the testing process that the service wasn't working, I would easily have changed over to a new scheduling service before the promotion ever went out.

Think through your backup plan. What could you use if a part of your system is not flowing smoothly? What resources are available quickly and within your budget? Just thinking this through may save you a ton of time and money.

Now I can't tell you I've never had an automation problem ever again, but I can say that putting systems in place to help me replicate my work has always cost me less in the end than doing it all manually...both in dollars and in sanity. If you remember the tips I shared with you in this post, you'll reduce the chances of automation fail.

Want to learn more about how to use automation the right way? Get more over at my main blog www.tanyasmithonline.com.

As a business owner, it is key that you understand the financials in your business and what they say about your business.  But so many business owners really don't have a clue.  I'm sorry if that sounds mean but it's true.

There is more to running a business than making deposits and paying expenses.  You have to understand where your money is coming from and where it is going.  You have to know how to look at a report and see that financial troubles are on the horizon. You have to be able to identify areas, products or services in your business that are cancerous to your business.

So to help you out I am going to share 5 financial business tips that all business owners should know.

1. Track all disbursements. 

I am a big advocate for using a software solution to maintain the tracking of your business finances.  It is a necessary tool to understanding where your money is being spent in your business.  Once you know where your money is going you will be able to make changes that can ultimately increase your cash flow.

2. Stop co-mingling.

I have said it before and I will say it again STOP CO-MINGLING YOUR PERSONAL EXPENSES WITH YOUR BUSINESS EXPENSES!  I'm sorry for yelling but I am so passionate about this.  Now don't get me wrong as a business owner I understand how hard it is to do this.  I get that it's easier to just swipe your business debit card than it is to write yourself a check and deposit it into a personal bank account.  Using your business account as a personal bank account is the #1 thing that will cause you to experience financial failure in your business.

3.  Pay your taxes.

Look - no one wants to pay taxes but the fact of the matter is that we have to.  So make sure that you have your accountant, CPA, EA, or tax preparer perform tax planning in your business minimally twice a year - in June and in November.  The reason for this is so that you know whether your business is tracking to make a profit and the tax implications on that profit.  AND so you are not surprised in April when your balance due is four figures or more.

4. Avoid impulse purchases.

In order to grow your business, you will have to make some major purchases at some point in time.  So plan and prepare for it, and avoid impulse shopping.  Take the time to budget for items so you will know your expected spend, and then plan what sales need to occur and the time frame for when you will be able to make these purchases.  If you want to take advantage of peak sales times like tax season, back to school or Black Friday, then plan your purchase for that time of the year.

5. Create budgets.

Speaking of planning and preparing - create budgets.  Yes that I said budgets - plural.  Creating and maintaining budgets is key to managing your cash flow.  you have to know where you expects your sales to come from and where you plan for it to go.  And the reason it is plural is because I'm not just talking about your annual budget; you should also create budgets for major product or service launches and definitely for events.  You don't plan a vacation without knowing what you plan on spending, so why would you plan a major event in your business?  Not creating a budget puts you in a position to overspend which will take more money out of your business and not the other way around.

What additional financial tips do you suggest for business owners?

Interested in learning more financial business tips for your business?  Contact Sherrell for a business assessment session at info@empower2thrive.com.

Sherrell Martin is the Founder and CEO of Empower 2 Thrive, LLC, a boutique practice offering financial management accounting and business success strategies.  She strives to empower business owners and entrepreneurs to thrive financially in life and business by gaining financial control and creating wealth and legacy.  She helps business owners and entrepreneurs who struggle with business and financial organization establish systems that will allow them to create, build and maintain a financially thriving business using accounting, finance and business strategy. To receive your free copy of her Start-Up Success Guide - The 10 Critical Steps to Building a Thriving Business from the Start and a FREE subscription to her Empowering You bi-weekly e-zine, send your request to info@Empower2Thrive.com.

All rights reserved.  © 2013

Yes, you read correctly... 126 dates in 42 days. And yes, I had an amazing time. Below is the main reason I am sharing this special teleconference with you is:

I heard a startling statistic. The statistic says...

"The average single has not been on a date in 2 years."

I was shocked when I heard this disturbing statement. 2 years, seriously, this cannot be true. But then, I started thinking about the stigma and difficulties some women have with online dating:

• They get nervous.
• Are unsure how to write a great profile that attracts really great guys.
• Have been turned off by their own or other people's bad online experiences.
• Etc.

With so many misconceptions and fears surrounding online dating, I understand it can be a challenge that most women will not pursue or if they had a bad experience in the past; may be scared to try again.

I am here to tell you once you understand how to properly use online dating it can be a wonderful way to:

• Meet really good men.
• Make new friends.
• Relearn your current city and fun things to do with a fun companion.
• If you are new to the area, safely meet new people and quickly learn your way around.
• Have a really good time overall.
• And so much more.

But, you must know how to do this correctly and with ease. Why? Because, according to online dating research:

Only 20% of the people registered with online dating site are actually going on dates, getting into relationships,etc. The other 80% are not.

Well, I can tell you from personal experience. It is much more fun being part of the successful 20% and if you are ready to get out of your dating funk. Then, sign up for this special and lively upcoming call.

I will share with you some of my secrets to successful online dating and relationships. Especially since Match.com is famous for quoting that "1 in 5 relationships start online." This is probably true with the numbers being even higher. So, join me for a really great time and some fun and useful information that will enhance your love life.

126 Dates in 42 Days - Secrets to Online Dating

Success Teleconference Call

Wednesday 8/28/2013 6p to 7p. EDT (3p to 4p Pacific)

You may register at:

www.undeniablyirresistible.com/126_Date_in_42_Days.html

to receive the call in information.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris

Lifestyle and Relationship Coach

www.undeniablyirresistible.com

www.1000dollarperhourquestion.com

Question:

Are you ready?

Ready to:

• Live pain free from fibromyalgia and other chronic pain.
• Enjoy better overall health.
• Enjoy your newfound freedom (newly single, empty nester, etc.)
• Live your life's mission: Career, motherhood, travel, etc.
• Experience new love.

Yes, then a special teleconference on Monday 7/1/2013 from 7 to 8:30pm (EDT) has been created just for you.

Are you sick & tired of being sick & tired? Yes then...

"Here's Your Next Step"

Learn how to have real fun and feel good again.

Go to: www.heresyournextstep.com for more information and to reserve your spot.

Click on "Register Here"

Join me for this informative 90 minute call which includes a 30 minute Q & A section.

To be happy and live a truly fulfilling life is your birthright.  

Something to think about:

"Guilt is a manmade emotion and is a huge time/life waster. Yes, we all mess up from time to time, but there comes a time when you must let go and move on with your life. Forgiveness (Self and others) and Love are Divine." - Cyndi Harris 

Question:

1. Which emotions (guilt, Forgiveness, or Love) do you indulge?
2. Which ones dictate the direction of your life?
3. How often do you allow yourself to relax in these Divine emotions?

Life is a joyful experience when you decide it should be.

Have a wonderful day.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Lifestyle and Relationship Coach @ Undeniably Irresistible

www.undeniablyirresistible.com

La Dolce Vita is Italian for "The Sweet Life". It means to live a life that is enjoyable, lavish, and opulent; allowing yourself to indulge in the finer things in life that bring you pleasure.

"It's time to celebrate love and living the good life."

Love is a pleasure too many women forgo. Or if they do get into relationships; the relationships are less satisfying than expected. Since happiness is an inside job, now is a good time to take a look at your love life and decide if you are happy with your current status. 

If not, be sure to register for an exclusive specialty teleconference I am hosting on Wednesday 7/10/13 6 to 7pm (EDT)... called "The $1000/hour Question". I will be offering you tips to improve the type of men you are attracting if you are single or begin to transform your relationship if currently involved. I am only offering this call to 30 women and as of today nearly 1/2 of the 30 spots have been reserved.

So go to: www.1000dollarperhourquestion.com and reserve your spot. And while visiting the site; have some fun and fill out the quizzes to uncover your potential Millionaire Match.

Have an amazing day,

Cyndi Harris

Lifestyle and Romance Coach

Hello lovely ladies,

Have you ever really thought about the type of man you would like to date and maybe one day marry?

As a relationship coach, I have met far too many women with vague ideas or cookie cutter answers to this question. It's seems that more time is spent planning careers, vacations, etc. then, their love life.

Or the opposite is true: The guidelines they set are so restrictive that they miss out on wonderful dating opportunities.

My coaching experience has shown me; if a woman is truly going to find happiness in love and romance. She needs to:

• Be open-minded (Love can be full of interesting and pleasant surprises.)
• Ready to have fun.
• Be in tune with who she is as a woman; emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
• And understand the type of man that really speaks to her heart. 

So, to get you started go to: www.1000dollarperhourquestion.com and

click on the Millionaire Match Quiz to learn some basics about the type of man who might be a good fit for you.

Have fun and get ready for some eye-opening questions created to get you thinking about your current or future love interest. 

Be sure to fill out your contact info to receive your

millionaire match results.

Happy 4th of July, everyone!!!

Quiz Update:

I want to thank the ladies who have registered for the $1000/hour Question teleconference call on Wednesday 7/10/13 the spots are filling up and apologize to anyone who filled out the quiz; the form had a bad link so, I did not receive your answers (Gotta love technology : )

All is good... The link is fixed. So, check out the quiz and get glimpse at your potential millionaire type : )

My coaching experience has shown me; if a woman is truly going to find happiness in love and romance.

• She needs to:
• Be open-minded (Love can be full of interesting and pleasant surprises.)
• Ready to have fun.
• Be in tune with who she is as a woman; emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
• And understand the type of man who really speaks to her heart.

www.1000dollarperhourquestion.com then,

click on the Millionaire Match Quiz

Enjoy!

Hello everyone,

Today, I want to ask you a few questions:

• Do you feel unappreciated by others?
• Do your contributions and talents go unnoticed?
• Do you suppress feelings of frustration because, you are trying to be nice and not rock the "boat" at home or at work?
• Do you feel that others treat you disrespectfully?

If you answered yes to any of these questions? Then, you may have an issue with self-perception. People's treatment of us tends to be a direct reflection of how we treat ourselves. If you treat yourself well; others will too.

For example, if you notice people:

• Talk over you doing regular conversations or disagreements.
• Do not respond to your requests for help or to complete a task you assigned them (Co-workers. your kids,etc.)
• Make you feel "invisible".

Then these things may be occurring because you:

• Are not speaking up and articulating your opinion with confidence.
• Are not holding people accountable to complete the task/s you have given them and in your frustration you simply take care of it yourself. (This simply encourages people to ignore you because, they know you will do their work for them.)
• Appear to lack self-confidence and you tend to "hide" from recognition.

Our self-assured or poor opinion of ourselves shows up in our work, relationships (family, friends, romantic), and in the general day to day activities of our lives.

If you constantly feel frustrated or overwhelmed; find yourself constantly complaining about a lack of cooperation or help; or allow others to ignore you. You are encouraging behavior that says it is okay to treat you carelessly and with a certain level of disrespect.

Maybe you grew up believing:

• You had to make everything right for others, go the extra mile (Even, if it meant ignoring your needs.)
• Do whatever it takes to keep the peace (Even, if it meant loss of personal peace of mind.)
• That having a good opinion of yourself is arrogant and uncomely behavior (especially for a woman).

Whatever has brought you to this point in your life. Now, is the time to change how you feel about yourself and finally experience a life that is more complete and satisfying. Take charge of your personal self-opinion and acknowledge you are an amazing person who deserves to receive the best. Others will follow your lead.

Here are a few things you can do to get started:

• Stop taking on other peoples responsibilities. (Co-workers, spouse/partner, your children, etc.) 
• Say "No" more often. If you feel uneasy about a request for your time and attention because, you know it will "stretch" your already limited time. Just say "No".
• Treat yourself kindly. Find ways to pamper and allow yourself time to relax.
• Make time for things you enjoy and be firm about this time being just for you. Let other people work around your schedule for a change.
• Speak up; if you feel strongly about something or have an idea that might be helpful let others know. Even, if the idea is rejected. At least you spoke up and others know you are unafraid to speak your mind.
• Be thoughtful and courteous to others and allow them to be helpful for you as well.
• Learn to accept compliments. Yes, this seems like an odd thing to say, but learning how to be more gracious encourages others to treat you with more respect and look for additional ways to make your life easier and more pleasant.

Utilize the above list and gradually you will see a positive change in how others treat you and even more important; how you are enjoying and finding new ways to honor and respect yourself.

You are always in control of your own good opinion of yourself so, lead by example.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Joyologist (Expert in the Art of Joyful Living), and Author 

Click here to schedule your 20 minute Complimentary Irresistible Solutions Session and go to the Solutions Session page. Let's talk about ways to increase the joy in your life.

How often do you wake up and full incredible? I mean really... Really... good. You wake up and you know the day is going to be an extra special day.

Is it:

• Daily
• Periodically
• Rarely
• Never

Well, if you said, "Daily". Congratulations, you are welcoming into your life; the abundance and joy life has to offer and setting yourself up to receive even more of the fabulous and fantastic opportunities life gladly sends your way.

If you selected any of the other selections, I appreciate your honesty. And, I want you to know you can learn how to change your thinking and wake up daily feeling incredible too.

How do you know if your life is stuck in ordinary? The following are several words and attitudes that describe an ordinary life?

• Comfortable
• Defensive
• Reasonable
• Avoid risk.
• Fearful
• Playing small in the world around them then, get upset because they are unappreciated by others or feel invisible within their "world".
• Judgmental
• Not Coachable (Struggles with new information and/or ideas. Unwilling to learn new things.)
• Negative
• Blame Others 
• Reactive (Always seem to have some sort of drama going on in their lives that they are acting out or responding to.)
• Makes excuses vs. taking responsibility for their choices.

Does anything from the previous list seem familiar to you. If you answered yes, understand you can always change and learn to live your life in a more enjoyable way.

Now, if you are curious about how a person lives an extraordinary life; read through the following list for a few helpful hints:

• Coachable (They enjoy learning and are receptive to new ideas.)
• Committed
• Courageous (They take chances and actively invite change into their life.)
• Creative (They look for different ways to do things and have more fun.) 
• Determined (Naysayers have little to no effect on their life and life choices.)
• Disciplined (Actively looks for ways to experience life in a more positive and productive way.)
• Enjoys a more balanced approach to life and life experiences.
• Passionate (They are excited about something that makes them happy and adds pleasure to their lives.)
• Possibility thinkers
• Proactive (Not waiting around for something to happen, they make things happen.)

This is a brief list of some simple attitude adjustments anyone can make to take their life from ordinary to extraordinary. Life requires active participation and if you are tired of sitting on the sidelines watching other people have a good time; make a few simple changes to your attitude.

Be bold, step out of your comfort zone and guess what? You will wake up one morning feeling incredible too. Once this happens; you will be unable to go back to the boring and fearful existence you may have been living. You may for the first time in a long time... (maybe ever)... finally understand what it means to feel alive and excited about your life. 

Go for it! Abundance, happiness, love, and life's other goodies are only available to those who choose to live life with no limits. Why? Because, they appreciate life and rejoice in every common and new experience. I dare you to be Extraordinary. I believe in you and now, I need you to believe in yourself.

Have an amazing day.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Life and Relationship Solutions Coach, Author, & Joyologist

www.redtentwisdom.com or www.undeniablyirresistible.com

Go to either website and sign up for a chance to receive a 20 minutes Complimentary Irresistible Solutions Session with me.

Remember that old Biz Markie song, ♪ "You, you got what I neeeed...." ♫.  Don't you wish that every time your ideal client or customer saw your stuff online that song would just automatically pop up in their head?

If you don't, you should.  Because that means you've made the right connection.  See it works like this...

But often we just focus on the first part of the equation - what we want to sell.

The fact is it can be pretty time consuming to do market research, but it's crucial to your business.  It's just one of those things you've got to do.  Otherwise, you can spend a lot of time creating products and promoting services no one will every buy.

You know my answer to almost everything when it comes to saving time, right?  Turn your research into a system, (my quick definition?  a system is a set of repeated activities you can map out, delegate and automate to get similar results).

Where Should You Start?

Keyword Research

Keyword research is the first step for most solo service providers. It helps you understand what people are searching for online and what words they are using. There are numerous tools that can help you do this research, including Google’s own AdWords keyword tool, a free and paid tool from Wordtracker, and a popular software program called Market Samurai.

It takes a little practice to learn to do keyword research well, but knowing the most commonly searched terms will help you target the problems that people are facing. It also means you can optimize any content you create, helping it rank in the search engines.

Study Problems People Are Facing

When you know the problems people are facing in your target market, you can create solutions. Solutions sell. Look at the questions people are asking and why they are asking them. Look for the places your target market hangs out, like forums or Facebook groups, and listen in.  You might even create a list using a tool like Evernote or Google Drive.  I call this list my R&D (research & development) list.

Other places people don't really think about are YouTube videos and Amazon books.  What's popular?  What are people talking about around the topic you're interested in promoting?  Watch the discussions that take place and the questions asked. If there are problems that people consistently talk about, you’ve just found a great opportunity to provide a solution.

Paint a Portrait of Your Customers

It helps to paint a portrait of your ideal customer in as much detail as possible. This isn’t necessarily a visual picture, though some people do that, but one that describes little details about them. What are their demographics, such as age, gender, occupation, where they live, etc? What is some of the lingo they use? Do they tend to have similar interests or hobbies? Write it all down. Some marketers even keep this list in front of them whenever they write anything for or to their customers.

While it can take what seems like a lot of time, having a system you use to do market research can save you from sinking a fortune in time and money in a doomed project. The more market research you do from the start to understand your market, the less risk you face and the more likely they'll be singing your song loud and clear. ;)

In my lunch time series coming up I'll share a few more tips on how to create great, but simple systems for your biz.  Get on the "notify me" list now so you get reminders.  

Question:

Are you ready? Ready to:

• Live pain free from fibromyalgia and other chronic pain.
• Enjoy better overall health.
• Enjoy your newfound freedom (newly single, empty nester, etc.)
• Live your life's mission: Career, motherhood, travel, etc.
• Experience new love.

Remember our special teleconference today... 7/1/2013 from 7 to 8:30pm (EDT) has been created just for you.

Call in #: 218-895-3835 PIN: 1033354 #

Are you sick & tired of being sick & tired? Yes then... "Here's Your Next Step" Learn how to have real fun and feel good again.

Go to: www.heresyournextstep.com for more information and to reserve your spot.

Click on "Register Here"

Join me for this informative 90 minute call which includes a 30 minute Q & A section. To be happy and live a truly fulfilling life is your birthright.

As a relationship coach, I have the privilege of meeting a variety of people. And, while my client base is mostly women; I talk to men from all walks of life as well. The average everyday man to the mega rich; plus, living in S. FL also offers me an international selection of guys to talk to. 

I love it because, I have such a great deal of respect for men. I notice men everyday in my travels and day to day activities. In the morning as I am driving to the store. I notice men waiting on street corners with coolers containing their lunch in work clothes and steel toe work boots waiting for their ride to pick them up as they head to work a hot and dirty job that most people would never consider because it pays so little for such tedious labor. It may not be the best job, but these men show up every day rain or shine.

Then, continuing with my day, I walk into my favorite Starbucks and in line ahead of me are the "Money Men". The men who spend their days in air conditioned offices working with millions; sometimes billions of dollars worth of financial transactions. They are dressed in their designer suits or other well-groomed and appropriate attire that shows their status as high-powered movers and shakers. They are talking about today’s business, golf, or where they will meet for dinner and drinks after work. 

The contrast is extreme, but underneath it all. These men are the same. Their dreams and goals are to be happy, to love and be loved. They want to be appreciated and respected by the woman they love and their children (if applicable) or if single they long for the love and companionship of a woman who understands that he goes to work every day to be the best man he can be for her. A good woman is the inspiration for most men's achievements.

I watch this process day in and day out and as I listen to women complain about the lack of available good men or the disengaged behavior of their current men. I have to sit back and think; do we even know what a good man is? 

I hear the sincere heartache from both men and women. The pressure they feel to live up to standards that may or may not be viable for who they are at the moment; not feeing appreciated for doing the best they know how to do, right now. Women are ready to discard men because, they seem to lack ambition or are not providing them with the lifestyle they want... right now. Men are ready to walk away from women because, they feel they are unable to be their woman's champion.

It may be true or their lives may be at the beginning of a new positive personal growth cycle, but the frustration of wanting more... Right now... sometimes keeps us from enjoying what and who we currently have. It is perfectly natural to desire more out of life, but we need to be grateful for what we currently have. Once we are; we will be spiritually aligned to receive more and improve our life and relationships.

At times I feel like the media has created a level of discontent in some women. It causes these women to wish for a lifestyle that: 

• Is inappropriate for her and her true life goals. 
• Creates discontent and impatience; causing her to lose sight of the ways her life is already improving.
• Compels her to pursue a man or men; she is not prepared to create and maintain a relationship (life ambitions, money mindset, etc. may not match up) 

Maybe, a woman has a diamond in the rough at home; who with her loving support and belief in his dreams will become the next major player in business or his chosen field. Many successful men began their careers from humble beginnings. It has taken them years to acquire the success they currently enjoy and many of these men have enjoyed the loving support of a woman who knows him and has been with him from his early days.

Professional athletes seem to be a good example of this behavior. A good portion of them, if involved in a staple relationship, are usually with a high school or college sweetheart. Shared values and mindset are more relevant than most people realize. This is not exclusive to professional sports. If you look at some of the most successful men; you will notice the happiest ones are with a woman who shares their:

• Money mindset
• Personal interests
• And general values

Keep this in mind when searching for your next romantic partner. If you are currently in a long-term relationship; you may need to do some soul-searching to see if you the 2 of you began your life together with mutual basic needs. If not, then what was the attraction and where are you now in regards to your life plans; separately and together. 

The goal of this article is to get you to think about you and your mate. Are a good fit? Or if you are single; to really think about what you desire in a relationship, who you are as a woman, and the qualities you have to attract this man to you.

In part 2; I will break it down and offer you some useful tips to point you in the right direction to personal happiness in your love relationship whether you are single or in a relationship.

Remember, life is constantly changing. We grow into people with different and new desires along the way. Our love lives can be one of our greatest joys or biggest heartaches. Take this time to look at men or your man with "new" eyes. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you "see".

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Author, and Joyologist

www.undeniablyirresistible.com

A man wants a partner not a competitor. You should too. 

In part one, I asked you to evaluate or revaluate, what you are searching for in a man and your romantic relationship. I mentioned how men really are looking for the opportunity to love a woman who really appreciates him and what he does for her to make her life easier.

I asked you to take a look at shared values and to check your money mindset to see if it matches your mate or potential mate and to search for ways you may be able to resolve conflict by becoming more aware of your relationship patterns.

Now, in this article. I want to talk about creating a quality relationship with a man. Read the top line again... A man wants a partner not a competitor. You should too.

What do I mean? In the pursuit of better education, jobs, and recognition; ladies we have taken on a pseudo masculine approach to life and unfortunately our romantic relationships as well. While learning how to increase our level of desire and life ambitions; we adopted a man’s view on business, competition, success, and as role models. Since, men have been the dominant faces and gender in the workplace for decades, when we started to emerge into the work place with our intellect and skills. We looked to men and their behaviors to get ahead. This can be a good thing if you understand how to disconnect the masculine aggression once you leave the office. 

Men are wonderful sources of information about business and business processes since they have been the dominant trendsetters in the business world. Only recently has it begun to shift (Thank goodness). And yes, we do have some wonderful examples of business success who are women, but if you read their autobiographies and biographies you will notice most of their early years were spent learning how to compete and at times survive in a “Man’s” world. 

Unfortunately, this aggressive style spilled into their personal lives leaving a trail of emotional heartache, broken relationships, and marriages. (Not all, some of these women have found a happy balance between work and their home lives.) It is important to rejoice regarding our success and career milestones, but what about the carnage that has become our romantic lives. It is time to put an end to this unproductive cycle and reclaim the romance in our lives. 

Tell me, when you come home from work do you want to relax and enjoy the peace and joy that is home or do you want to gear up for the next battle between you and your man? 

You want to relax, right? Guess what, so does he. Creating a loving and peaceful home requires continuous work on both sides. I know it sounds like common sense, but we know from personal experience that what sounds good in theory does not always transfer into the real world. 

Well, allow me to suggest a useful tip. Make a list of the things you and your man argue about. (If you are single, list the things that broke up your last relationship). Now, look over the list and tell me how many of those things could have been avoided or resolved with periodic discussions about the current state of your relationship: 

• Any changes/shifts in mutual goals or values (We all change, grow, and develop at different rates; that means our partnerships will too.) 

• Any changes in personal goals (Education, children, personal growth, etc) 

• Learning how to listen more effectively to what your man is/was saying and not trying to “think” for him. 

• Judgmental opinions that are/were fear-based and prevented you from really listening to what your partner was saying or trying to do that would benefit you and your family. 

I could go on and on with this list. Ladies, when we are wired into our right-brain masculine mode of thinking and problem-solving. We can become very rigid in our response to our relationship challenges or as I prefer to call them… “Windows of opportunity for personal growth”; when this happens mutually satisfying resolution is nearly impossible. You now have 2 competitors trying to basically “beat” the other one into submission. It is a disaster which unfortunately if not corrected; leads to broken relationships and unhappy men and women returning to the world of dating. You simply cannot have a real man and a pseudo man existing inside a relationship. The feminine must be properly represented to create or restore peace.

So, I am sure you are wondering how to resolve this issue that affects so many potentially great relationships. 

1. My first recommendation is to understand who you are as a person and a Woman. What do you need to be happy? In general and your romantic relationships; too often we get caught up in some other person’s dream and discover later on it was a huge mistake. So, be authentic. 

2. Next be honest about the type of man you would enjoy creating a long-lasting relationship. Your dream guy may not be the person you have been fantasizing about. He may be someone totally different from the ones you keep pursuing.

• How will you know?
• Well, if you keep dating the same type of men and the relationship keep repeating the same unsuccessful relationship patterns. He mostly likely is not the right type of man for you. You are trying to “fit’ into someone else’s dream. Be bold and daring; take the time to write out who you really desire then, learn what you need to know to invite this man into your life. 

3. Stop trying to be so “tough”. The “I don’t need a man” attitude will keep you single and in fault-finding state of mind when it comes to men. This holds true even if you are currently in a relationship; you will find ways to undermine your man and his efforts to be of assistance to you. Learn how to enjoy the softer side of your personality and allow men to step up, help you, and appreciate your feminine nature. 

4. Stop trying to do this alone. Hire the services of someone who can help you unlock your hidden desires and dreams for a wonderful and satisfying relationship. We all at one time or another need the help of someone who holds us accountable to our dreams. Our love life is no different. 

Remember the definition of insanity is: 

“Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein 

Does this sound like your life and romantic relationships? If so, here’s your chance to stop repeating dead-end habits and learn the skills to finally be happy. The steps outlined in this article can be the starting point for true romantic success, but they will only work if you are willing to step out of your comfort zone and be accountable for your love life and there is no reason to go it alone.

Go to: www.undeniablyirresistible.com and request your Complimentary Solutions Session for guidance and some additional helpful hints.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Author, and Joyologist

www.undeniablyirresistible.com

Very few people I know use business process mapping, but it can be a really good way to figure out the difference between what is happening now vs. what you want to have happen with certain systems running in your business.

For example, you might have this really great product out in your online store, but you somehow keep losing customers -- like 85% of the time -- after they click the "add to cart" button.  What happened?

Or in another instance, you may have tons of referrals and they come to you willing and ready to invest, but you only convert 10% of them into clients.  Where's the breakdown? How do you know?  And what resources do you need in order to increase that number?

Many times, knowing the solution that works the best for you does not just pop up in a magical light bulb over your head.  Instead, it requires knowing what is taking place, step-by-step, so you can make improvements for the better.

Business Analysts (also known as BA's) tend to take advantage of process mapping because it suits them perfectly since they tend to be practical thinkers, always looking for the "why" behind what's going on.  They also get really passionate about information.  I like how this article from TDWI says, "They love to wallow in it, get it all over themselves, see what they can do with it, and see it change state and morph and eventually crystallize into facets of meaning."

Basically, these guys can get really geeky about improving a system, or set of activities so you get the most optimal results.

How do I know?  Because I actually have an analyst background in my "other" career.  Yeah, that's how I got to be such a systems geek.

Now here's what is cool about that...

There are a lot of creative thinkers marketing how great it is to use your creativity to ...well...create things. Products, new service offerings, you name it. I love it and I think that's great.  If you want to promote creative thinking, mind-mapping is a very effective tool. But that's a whole different type of method than what I'm talking about.

The thing is, not everyone is naturally given to creatively wild or illustrative thinking.  Some of  us tend to be a bit more structured and systematic in our thinking.  Having those type of people in your business network can be tremendously helpful because we help with the execution of the actual sale of that wonderful new product, or we help you fix problems with the way you're handling questions from prospective buyers so they feel better about trusting you and affirmed when they buy.

This is the beautiful place where process mapping comes in.

In my upcoming webinar, 10 Ways To Design Better Systems For Your Business, I share more about process mapping and what it can do. Plus I'll be talking about more ways to improve what you're doing in your business, so you can be more efficient which => (ta-dah) more profitable.

Business process mapping may just be the answer to your problems. Oh, and if you search the internet now for some process mapping resources, it will probably look a lot more boring than how I do it.

I've made the webinar publicly available.  No registration required.

=> Just click here to watch and get my free Systems Success Roadmap

Hello everyone,

How are you? I hope each of you had a wonderful weekend. Mother's day has come and gone and for every mom out there I hope your day was an amazing one filled with much laughter and love. Personally, my day was perfect. I spent time with my beloved (He surprised me with a lovely and thoughtful gift), heard from my children (They live throughout the US), and received and shared messages of goodwill and love with family and friends.

It was a memorable day and as usual it left me thinking about love. Love is such a gigantic topic that we do our best to pigeonhole and water down because, it seems to cause such discomfort in so many people. And, while I appreciate holidays like Mother's day. It always makes me curious to know how people express their love for mom throughout the year.

I realize I am truly blessed because I have a great relationship with my 3 incredible sons. We talk often and are a consistent part of each others lives. I love them dearly and they return my love without hesitation.

I believe it is so easy for us because, I raised them to be loving and strong men. We never leave each other, hang up the phone, or finish a texting conversation without saying "I love you." It is a natural-feeling habit for us. I let them know that saying "I love you." is a good thing and not something to fear. Even when, we have had our disagreements over the years; we still come back to love. Open communication is definitely the key. They are awesome young men and I could talk about them all day, but I want to share a quote with you that eloquently expresses the importance of fearlessly saying "I love you" to your loved ones.

It is from Leo Buscaglia's book "Born for Love". It is a wonderful book full of joy and wisdom. I highly recommend it to anyone who is ready to change their belief systems around the topic of love.

Here it is:

Never Tire of Saying "I Love You"

"Such a simple phrase, 'I love you,' yet I cannot think of any words with greater power. Francois Villon, the French poet, wrote, 'I love you. These are easy words to say, yet my heart fails as I say them, for their meaning is as full and musical as the bell of doom.' 

We should never tire of expressing our love, for certainly we never tire of hearing it expressed. Strange how simple it is to use these words with inanimate things. We feel safe in loving our car, a new coat, or spaghetti and meatballs. But, we have grave difficulties verbalizing our love for other human beings, even to those closest to us...

The message 'I love you,' is not something that goes without saying. To the contrary, it needs to be said whenever and wherever love is present." - Leo Buscaglia

I think this quote expresses how we seem to fear saying "I love you," to the people we care for so deeply.

What stops you from using those 3 little words more often. Is it:

• A fear of rejection
• Loss of perceived power
• A need to control
• Fear of an awkward moment (Say it more often and it becomes less traumatic)

Tell me. I have heard numerous reasons over the years and I have had to overcome my own fears. Especially, when I initially fall in love and I am worried I may say it too soon or the other person may not feel the same way. Yes, even I have a had an insecure moment or 2. But, I have learned from experience, if it is on my heart to say it then, I need to say it. Whether a person receives it or not is their issue not mine.

"Love is meant to be shared not kept as a secret locked within our hearts." - Cyndi Harris

Now, having shared this with you, I am asking you to do a simple assignment for me. Actually it is more for you than me.

Today, and everyday that follows, find 3 people who you can say "I love you." Just say it and be okay if they do not say it in return. If it is someone close to you where these words have not flown freely; be patient and be prepared to answer some questions or receive a strange look or 2. 

Love is an ongoing process that requires courage, fearlessness, joy, persistence, and trust. It is worth any and all effect you put into it. So, have faith and know that you are love and you are loved. Regardless of the circumstances that may surround your life so, pass it along and watch how the blessing of love shows up more often in your life.

Share the love and leave your comments below; also, pass this blog post on to anyone you believe will benefit from its simple message. Thank you for your continued interest and support.

Have a wonderful day and as always; I am wishing for you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Author, & Joyologist

You may reach me at: Cyndi@undeniablyirresistible.com or www.undeniablyirresistible.com or www.redtentwisdom.com

Yes, I have flipped around this well known quote. Typically, the statement is “Behind Every Great Man is a Great Woman.” It is a wonderful quote and very simply explains how important a great relationship is for a man to truly reach various levels of success in his life. History is full of numerous examples of incredibly successful men who had wives, lovers, and/or mistresses who inspired them to be more than ordinary and reach great levels of accomplishment. 

Monuments like the Taj Mahal are constant reminders of how powerful love is and the lengths that a grateful and happy man will go to express his love for an inspiring woman. A woman who was, at times, quietly in the background offering her love and support for his ideas and visions of success; his partner, love, and many times his best friend. 

Knowing how powerful the right love connection can be for true happiness and success in life. I decided to also point out how important is for a woman to also have a truly wonderful and supportive man in her life; someone who rouses her to be and do more; a man who is confident, lovable, and passionately believes in her and her dreams. 

To prove my point here are few modern day women who have amazing and loving support from their men: 

• Michelle Obama (Husband - President of the United States Barack Obama) 

• Angelina Jolie (Life Partner – Brad Pitt) 

• Jada Pinkett-Smith (Husband – Will Smith) 

• Beyonce (Husband – Jay Z) 

Are a few wonderful examples of women with a powerhouse man in her corner; these ladies understand the importance of having a great life partner because, if you really think about it being married or in a long-term relationship is about much more than romance. It is about coming together with common goals and life visions. Our individual goals are important, but having someone who you can share your dreams, fears, and victories is priceless. 

Unfortunately, too often, as we move forward on our path to personal success we leave out one of our greatest fans. The man who loves us and wants nothing but the best for us and truly does want to offer assistance and guidance (when requested); learning how to invite him in requires courage, humility, and trust. 

You must be willing to communicate your ambitions, desires, and goals with the one you have selected to share your life. Or if you are single, now is the time to develop the skills to communicate these ideas with a future mate. Learning how to be supportive is not only about being there for your man. It is also about letting him be available for you. He wants to help you, if he is unaware of what you are thinking about; how can he be of assistance? 

So, the next time you are feeling discouraged and alone in your quest for success. Think about the women I listed in the beginning of this article. They have found a healthy balance of individual success within a loving partnership/relationship. You can too. It is all about communication. 

Here are a few questions for you: 

• Do you have some misguided belief that you must pursue your desires alone? (The “Superwoman” syndrome; I don’t need a man. I don’t need anyone. I can do this on my own.) 
• Does your beloved know about your secret ambitions and goals? 
• If yes, good for you. If not, why not?
  • Are you afraid to personally step up to your dreams and know that if you share with your partner you will need to finally take action? 
  • Are afraid of possible ridicule? (Fear is usually “Much ado about nothing.” Take that leap of faith; you deserve to live your best life.) 
  • Has your beloved ever been unkind about any personal goals you have shared with him? If not, then let him know what is on your mind… Remember you are in a partnership with this person. 

So, if you are ready to put aside your fears, stop trying to be superwoman, and finally bring your beloved back into your life, but are unsure where to begin. Let’s talk, I am here for you. I believe in you and I want you to have a life that fulfills you and allows you to join the ranks of great women with a great guy standing “behind” her. 

As always, I am wishing you much love and unlimited joy, 

Cyndi Harris, HP 

Relationship Solutions Coach and Man Whisperer “Intimacy Creation Savant” 

Author of the forthcoming book “Official Handbook to Becoming Irresistible – Learn How to be a Woman Who is Positively Unforgettable.” 

www.redtentwisdom.com or www.undeniablyirresistible.com 

Hello everyone and welcome to the next installment from the "How to Love a Man" series. I certainly hope the previous posts helped you feel a little closer to your beloved or offered some valuable insight to the single ladies who are preparing to meet their future beloved.

Loving a man and being loved by a great guy is such a delectable and delightful feeling, but if you are feeling a little lonely in your relationship let me ask you a few questions:

• When was the last time you really looked at your beloved? I mean really looked at him and noticed how attractive and strong he is.
• Have you ever taken the time to notice the shape of his hands, the width of his strong shoulders, how he stands when he feels really good, or the way he moves when he is feeling momentarily discouraged. 
• Have you ever just sat in a room and watched your man move about totally unaware of your admiration? Or sat across the table from him listening to him share something important with you? It can be mesmerizing. The sound of his voice or the way moves throughout his space.
• Have you thought about how much you enjoy his hugs or the way he smiles at you?
• How about the way he feels in your arms when you hug him?

Affection is impulsive and can be sparked by the feelings the previous questions can create. You may observe how your man looks and suddenly feel the urge to be close to him. So, if you don't remember how your beloved feels when you hug him. Does this mean you haven't hugged him lately? Why not? Men need love too.

Yes, your big, strong, and possibly silent type needs to feel your soft warm arms wrapped around him from time to time for no particular reason. He needs to know that you just love being close to him as much as he loves being close to you.

Men may seem all tough on the outside, but inside they can be as soft and wonderful as a "marshmallow". Just because your beloved may appear invincible; doesn't mean he is untouchable or has no need for your affection.

He may be craving:

• The feel of your skin.
• The lingering scent of your perfume on his shirt after you hug him.
• The comfort of your touch.
• Or many other things that having an affectionate and loving woman in his life provides.

Affection is a huge topic even Leo Buscaglia's in his book "Born for Love" mentions the following:

"Science has proven that a simple hug is one of the most convenient and inexpensive therapies available. Yet, we remain touch starved."

He continues to talk about some interesting information he gathered while doing research for another book. He says " People consistently mentioned that there were certain qualities that they found to be essential for a happy and long lasting relationship." Affection (touching, holding, and stroking) was named the most important by the majority of the participants. Surprisingly, sex ranked # 8 on the list.

Affection, unfortunately seems to be one of the most neglected aspect in most relationships. It is unfortunate, since nonsexual touch is so vital to our emotional and physical well-being. Being affectionate is a fun, simple, and sweet way to show our beloved how much we care and enable him to share his affection for us as well.

This should be such an effortless thing for couples to do, but I know some women who withhold affection. They do this because, they are worried if they hug or touch their man; that the simple nonsexual interaction may be misinterpreted as a sexual come-on and then their man will want sex. So, to avoid unwanted sexual advances, they completely avoid contact with their man.

This is a very sad situation because, now we have two touch-starved people living a very sterile existence. Leaving sex as the only way either one of them receives any human contact from each other. No wonder sex becomes such a big issue for their man. It is the only time he gets to be physically close to his beloved.

So, if you want to avoid this scenario. I recommend that you make a conscious effort to touch your beloved. There are easy and simple ways you can invite more affection into your relationship without turning every touch into a sexual encounter (Unless that is your goal... If so, then go for it.). For example:

• Touch his hand when you are talking to him. 
• Touch his arm as he is passing you in the hallway or kitchen.
• Offer to rub his shoulders if he looks tired after a long day. (Bonus, be sure to mention how strong he is as you are rubbing his shoulders. He will "melt" under your care and compliments.)
• Give him a hug and tell how much you appreciate him then, walk away.
• When he is sitting in front of the TV in his "papa bear" chair give him a kiss on the cheek or forehead. (But, not while he is watching the game or any other event that has an intense hold on his attention. This will avoid aggravation on both sides.)
• Be creative and make a list of ways you can show more affection to the one you love.

These are just a few suggestions. They are simple non-threatening ways to bring more nonsexual contact back into your love life and joy back into your relationship. Being close to your beloved should be one of the things that makes you feel adored and cherished in your relationship. So, relax and have some fun.

Now, go give your sweetie a hug. If he hasn't felt your arms around him in awhile and looks at you kind of strange. Just smile and say, " I am having such a wonderful day. I wanted to share my excitement with you." Then, smile and walk away. Be confident in the knowledge that he will come around and who knows he may have a few happy surprises for you too.

That is all for now. Enjoy, we will talk again soon. Plus, for more fun and playful ways to enhance your love life. Sign up for your 20 minute Complimentary Solutions session at www.redtentwisdom.com or www.undeniablyirresistible.com.

Wishing you much love and unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach, Man Whisperer (Intimacy Creation Savant), Author, Radio Host of Red Tent Wisdom radio - Broadcasting live starting Tuesday 4/30/13 at 11am EDT. (Blogtalkradio)

I have been building my subscriber list for a few years now. It's had wear and tear, much of it because of my abuse.  I switched focus, lost focus, tried different paths, different brands...all of the things new business owners tend to do when they're finding their way.

There are a ton of reasons people stay on your subscriber list.  Many stay even when they're no longer getting value. Maybe it's because they like you as a person, though they don't have interest in your topic. Or maybe they forgot to disconnect at some point. Instead they just delete everything you send.

Perhaps, they find a few tidbits of information you've sent for free they could appreciate, but now that you're asking them to invest they are offended.  The point is - my audience members came in for different reasons and stayed for different reasons.

The danger in this is at some point, you may find yourself with a huge list of people that DON'T CARE A THING ABOUT YOUR OFFER.

Signs of a list that needs to be downsized? You have dead silence when you're sending out market survey questions. You actually look at your metrics and find that your open rate is not only low, it's in the red. No one shows up for your special events that are only for your subscribers.

When these things are happening although you have list quantity, it's a good chance you have a list that needs to be downsized.

Recently I did a downsizing of my list.  It gave me a sense of freedom I never thought I'd have. At first, I was afraid (♪ I was petrified ♫...I love that song...short digression...ok, back on track now). Seriously though, when you work hard to build a good sized list it can be very intimidating to even think about minimizing it or tearing it apart.

But I had to do it.

Ever heard of the law of the vacuum?  Catherine Ponder talked about it in the book, The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity.  It says something like, "Make room for the thing you desire by letting go of that which you do not appreciate or use. Give it away with a giving, charitable heart, and let the Universe compensate you."   In other words, when you let go and make space you have more room to receive what's really meant for you.

I knew that downsizing my list would put me in a different place, giving me the freedom to really talk directly to an interested audience of people who want what I have to share. No more wondering "do they care?" or "is anybody listening?" And for them - the ones who were purged voluntarily from my list - I gave them back freedom, freedom to read and receive information they truly would find useful and immediately applicable.

So how did I do it? I'll break it down for you:

First, I used my email marketing service, Mailchimp (shout out - "eep eep"), to evaluate my list. They have some pretty decent analytics and along with a tool called Hairball, it was pretty easy to create a small list, or segment of people who were rated below a 3 rating. These ratings give you an idea of how often your emails are opened or clicked by the user, along with a few other stats. Your service may have a different way to show you this information.

The key is to figure out who is least active in your list over a period of time. By the way, I did not include users who were fairly new and still building a rating.  Since they recently added themselves to the list, I assumed they have an interest in my content.

Second, I sent out an email to the folks in that group about 14 days before the purge date (you can adapt this to your comfort level). The subject line read something like "Only open this if you want to keep getting my emails!". I wanted to make it super easy for those who didn't open them anyway to take little to no action. Only the genuinely interested people would reply back to say "leave me on the list". And yes, I had several who read the email explaining my "Spring Cleaning List Purge" and they asked to stay on.

Great! That separated those who were missing in action, but still interested so I wouldn't remove them from the active list.

Third, on the date I'd set for myself I exported the segmented list (minus the ones who wanted to stay) and did a mass unsubscribe. I will admit, I was pretty nervous but after I clicked enter I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.  It was like, "now I get to talk to people who really care to connect with me and to get the full benefit of my sharing".

Here was another added benefit I didn't think about until later. You know how many email service providers charge you based on your total count of subscribers? Well, I was able to reduce my own email marketing fees because of the reduced count. Cha-ching!

Now mind you, I would be fine paying more for a more responsive, targeted list. It was just a good reality check to realize that I was actually paying to keep people on my list who never really wanted the info anyway.

So that's my story...and I hope it connects with you in some way. Does it make you think about downsizing your own list?  Don't you think that having 100 or 200 or 500 people who really connect with your message is better than having thousands who don't get it and won't take action at all?

As a business owner, we have choices to make for the good of our customers and ourselves. I chose to downsize for peace of mind and it was one of the best decisions I've made so far in my business.

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About the Author: Tanya Smith is a creative online business strategist and coach specializing in showing independent service providers how to simplify, save time & stand out with simple strategies that engage more quality leads and clients. Her company Be Promotable provides fresh actionable strategies and virtual resources to promote business owners as power players in their market. Get free tools to simplify and stand out online at: www.tanyasmithonline.com