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Sometimes our self-confidence is shaken when we make decisions that are not supported by family, friends or people we respect.  When we feel that we are by ourselves regarding our choices, it is important to apply the universal law of cause and effect. Acknowledging others rights to their opinions opens the way for us to receive the same treatment. The adage shows itself over and over, what you do unto others will be done unto you.

Remember you can create the life you want to live by your actions. Being gentle and loving yourself is the way to bring that behavior into your life from others. Although it may not feel apparent, life supports you. The universal order of life does support you. This may sound airy-fairy, but it is a real and important principle to believe in when feeling challenged. Understanding that everyone has a right to live and think as he or she chooses removes the emotional conviction that others opinions are personal attacks. Each adult is their life decision maker, and one’s opinion does not overthrow anyone else’s choice.

Your ability to hold this idea and conduct yourself on this principle will govern others manners when engaging or having a relationship with you.

Valuing yourself is a requirement for a successful life. Lacking self-worth is mirrored back to us through our personal and work relationships.  The characteristics of caring and respecting yourself are reflected in how you address other people’s degrading and dismissive attitudes. Life already supports you; you are here. The statement, "you are an accident", is only an attempt to devalue your existence. It is your primary responsibility to embrace and love yourself.

Sometimes we allow the opinions of others to reign over our internal voice. That is a sign that we need to stop and remember what is important to us. Getting clear about the way you choose to live your life and what you value gives you the strength to make seemingly hard choices. You regret less when your actions are decided from how you choose to be in this world. Living this way opens you to new ideas and activates your potential.

Aiming for a successful life based on your values can sometimes feel like a struggle but the end results are worth it. Gaining self-confidence is the practice of making and moving forward with your decisions that are founded on what is important to you. Every opportunity you have to apply this principle will help you become self-confident authentically.

Going nowhere fast - Photo credit: Gary Kaemmer

Early on in my business, I was a human tornado (in some ways I still am, but much more strategic and controlled now), I was so excited about my business and the impact it would make on people that I constantly was doing "something" every single day to bring awareness to my business and why it is so "awesome".  

It became very clear to me once I found myself worn-out, exhausted stretched but not any more profitable when I began, that there is a difference between  "BUSY-ACTIVITY" and "BUSY PROFIT-GENERATING Activity"

BUSY-WORK-ACTIVITY is what alot of business people do in the very beginning or it's an easy trap to fall into at some point in the first 5 years or so of being self-employed. It's when you realize the excitement of your business but underestimated how much work it would take to truly promote, advertise and market your products and services. True there takes time for momentum to build in your business so every business has to be in a state of alot activity that may not product immediate return but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about creating so much activity that it never reaps any return in the long run.

Common examples of "BUSY-WORK-ACTIVITY":

• Not treating social media time the same as face-to-face networking (you wouldn't linger at a networking event for hours and hours would you?)
• Checking and responding to every single e-mail as soon as you receive it instead of carving out time to check those that resort in new profit opportunities (I'm still at times guilty of this)
• Checking email and voice mails as soon as you wake up in the morning, before you have breakfast or
• Your networks are based on your personal needs and not the needs of your business
• You spend a ton of time each month on tasks that can be delegated to someone else while you focus on generating new revenue streams (I'm talking about your EP-Entrepreneur Personality)
• Spending TOO much time researching and networking - there comes a time when the next step simply just needs to be ACTION!
• and I could go on...

But I think you get my point,

Do any of these seem familiar? Where do you fall? What should you do next?

1. Follow my D.E.T.O.X steps to gain new clarity. Learn to get rid of the unnecessary noise and gain new focus for yourself and business.

2. Don't fall into a Love affair with your business. Meaning it's easy to get so infatuated with the new found attention or too pulled into the power of networking that you essentially loose focus on your main goal of your business. It's always best to build quietly. You don't need ALL the attention right away especially if you are doing the business alone.

Click here for the other 3 steps to help you get clarity in your business now.

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Katrina M. Harrell is author of "Embrace.Your.Journey.: 180 Day Journey to Unlocking Your Wisdom, R... (The Sum of Her Publishing, 2011). President of the KM Harrell Group, LLC a Strategic Business Development & Management firm supporting minority and women-owned businesses. She is the creator of the "Under the Hood" Business Mastermind Group which is helping business owners get actionable and profitable business strategies. Her firm’sconsulting services have helped many minority and women owned businesses establish foundational structures and exit strategies within their businesses that have aided them in selling for profit or obtaining investor funding. Passionate about entrepreneurship education, Katrina’s insight and expertise is highly sought after both online and off. She is also founding CEO for Your Simple Bookkeeper, outsourced national bookkeeping company for micro and small business.