confidence (28)

How to Gain Self Confidence

Sometimes our self-confidence is shaken when we make decisions that are not supported by family, friends or people we respect.  When we feel that we are by ourselves regarding our choices, it is important to apply the universal law of cause and effect. Acknowledging others rights to their opinions opens the way for us to receive the same treatment. The adage shows itself over and over, what you do unto others will be done unto you.

Remember you can create the life you want to live by your actions. Being gentle and loving yourself is the way to bring that behavior into your life from others. Although it may not feel apparent, life supports you. The universal order of life does support you. This may sound airy-fairy, but it is a real and important principle to believe in when feeling challenged. Understanding that everyone has a right to live and think as he or she chooses removes the emotional conviction that others opinions are personal attacks. Each adult is their life decision maker, and one’s opinion does not overthrow anyone else’s choice.

Your ability to hold this idea and conduct yourself on this principle will govern others manners when engaging or having a relationship with you.

Valuing yourself is a requirement for a successful life. Lacking self-worth is mirrored back to us through our personal and work relationships.  The characteristics of caring and respecting yourself are reflected in how you address other people’s degrading and dismissive attitudes. Life already supports you; you are here. The statement, "you are an accident", is only an attempt to devalue your existence. It is your primary responsibility to embrace and love yourself.

Sometimes we allow the opinions of others to reign over our internal voice. That is a sign that we need to stop and remember what is important to us. Getting clear about the way you choose to live your life and what you value gives you the strength to make seemingly hard choices. You regret less when your actions are decided from how you choose to be in this world. Living this way opens you to new ideas and activates your potential.

Aiming for a successful life based on your values can sometimes feel like a struggle but the end results are worth it. Gaining self-confidence is the practice of making and moving forward with your decisions that are founded on what is important to you. Every opportunity you have to apply this principle will help you become self-confident authentically.

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We definitely want our children to be confident!!!!

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Empowered to Say No

Empowered to Say No


When asked to take on a task and you know that you don’t have time to fit it in your day do you

1) Say I’m sorry I’m unable to do that at this time

2) Say I’m sorry I’m unable to do that at this time while feeling guilty or

3)You agree to do it knowing full well that it will be next to impossible to fulfill it?
One of the biggest hindrances to one’s endeavor to lead a balanced and healthy life is the inability to say no.

Many things contribute to one’s inability to simply say no without the guilt. It can b a problem with needing approval, not wanting to be rejected which is complicated by low self esteem.

Generally speaking, people can’t say no to someone asking them for something because they are so worried about upsetting the person or lack the courage to turn down the request. People often dislike disagreeing, or believe saying yes is easier than saying no. Others can simply not say no. However, there are often instances where it is best to say no to a request and it is important to learn how to utter that small little word, “no.”

You can become empowered to say no.

Discover simple strategies to say no, politely but firmly.
It’s you schedule and your life. You don’t have to come with excuses or stories. If you don’t value your time no one else will. You can say no without being dishonest.
Here are a few ways you can say no.
• No. I would only be able to do a mediocre job right now.
• No. I don’t have any spare time right now.
• Not this time, please give me more notice next time and I’ll work it into my schedule.
• I can’t accept this, with my present commitments. I’m sorry.
• I’m rather quite busy now. I must decline.
• I don’t think I have the time for it, as I am in the middle of something important.
• After looking at my calendar, I found that I already have prior commitments.
• I can’t.
• Why don’t you try someone else? I’m not the right person for this.

Take some time to come up with some additional ways that you can say no that feel authentic to you and our personality. If you aren’t sure, you can always ask for time to make the decision without feeling guilty. You may say you will have to think about it. If somebody persists with the request when you want to say no, you may have to be assertive and firmly decline. You don’t need to risk over committing by saying yes when you actually want to say no.

When you neglect being honest when approached by your boss for instance and you know that you couldn’t possibly fulfill the request in excellence you are putting your job on the line.

If you can show your boss, the reasons for not being able to accept the extra responsibility, you may be able to convince your superior about your inability to accept the additional work. Don’t accept anything that puts your job at risk or makes you suffer later.

Believe it or not learning to say no at the right time can help you gain respect with your peers and help avoid dire situations.

When saying no do so with confidence and if you lack confidence well this is an area that you want to work on. An inability to say no will be a definite hindrance to your personal empowerment.

Boost your confidence and self esteem. Celebrating the uniqueness of you will go a long way in enhancing your ability to say no without feeling guilty.

Besides when you don’t truly desire or have room to fulfill the request you’re not being authentic and you know I’m all for being authentic.

Here’s to your no-ability!

I know you enjoyed this post and maybe you’d like to go deeper. I’d like to invite you to join me for my new Teleseries. Click here to join my Teleseries “Essential secrets to Extraordinary Life and Business Success!”

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Calling all Savvy Women, Women Entrepreneurs, Coaches, Ministry Leaders


Say YES to the Extraordinary Woman in You! Essential Divalicious (Diva - Delicious) Steps/Secrets to Creating and Enjoying Your Divine Empowering Life and Business Success!"




Do you ever feel stuck, stressed, confused, frustrated, wondering

where to start, what to do once you got started to stay motivated and

confident or what would happen if you never get it right and continue down

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I've been there too! It changed for me and it can change for you!


You’ll never realize your empowering life and business success until you….


Get clear on what you want


Make a decision to never ever settle for mediocrity


Make a commitment


Develop a plan


Set effective Goals




Connect with an accountability Partner


Commit to your Spiritual Authority


Embrace Divine influence


And more!


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Always remember empowerment is a choice. Yours!


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How to identify and overcome negative or limiting beliefs?

In my interaction with women I find that many are struggling with limiting and/or negative beliefs. And there are some who are in denial and feel that they don’t have any limiting beliefs. Entertaining limiting beliefs will only sabotage your empowering success and I am out to help you finally be free of the control of
limiting belief. My passion is empowering women and this is one area that blocks many from realizing their desires.

Read what one of my clients stated about identifying a limiting belief……

Pay attention to part B of her testimonial

One of my success statements was related to me exercising on a regular basis. While I am not grossly overweight, I was carrying more weight than my small frame could handle. I knew this because my knees started to hurt constantly. After emailing Robin my success statements, I committed to it. In addition to exercising I actually went a step further and did some clean up in my diet. I can report today that I have lost 5 pounds to date. I feel better and my knees don’t hurt nearly as much.

I also sent in my limiting belief. At first I did not feel as if I had one but through prayer I found that I did. And it was a big one! I have proceeded with my action steps and praise God, He has confirmed what I needed confirmation of. I’m still doing both action steps and I know these will keep me moving forward toward success. I would never have identified this had Robin not challenged us with this. Thank you Robin!”

Mari Taylor – Author
Extraordinary Woman Extraordinary life Silver Group Coaching program

One of the first steps to identifying your limiting or negative beliefs is awareness.

You have belief systems that were formed early on in your life. Think about some of the things that come up for you when embarking on a new journey or undertaking a new task.

Do you start off with a bang only to be tripped up by negative chatter or negative/limiting beliefs?

Overcoming your limiting beliefs entails becoming aware, identifying the belief and reprogramming. And please know this…. it didn’t happen overnight so the reprogramming is not going to happen overnight. It’s a process.

What are your beliefs?

What are your thoughts about money?
Do you say things such as  Get the rest of the juicy details here

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You are great!

One of the most well known confidence building exercises is to list your own strengths and natural abilities.

By looking at the list it can make you say “Wow, I really am good!”

Another great way of building your confidence and getting in touch with how great you really are is to ask friends, colleagues and people who you know for feedback on your strengths and natural abilities.

Your practical assignment is to list 5 people who you know and trust for this exercise.

Make sure they are from different areas of your life.

List them below:


2.    A FRIEND




You might at this stage be feeling a little nervous about asking these people for feedback.

Don’t worry, because you will be only asking for your strengths.


So, how do you go about it?

Well, below is a list of questions that I’d like you to ask to each of your list.

I recommend that you meet or talk on the phone with each beforehand and explain the context of the exercise and then either ask them verbally or give them the questions and either fill in the sheet of paper or email you with their feedback.

They will feel honored that you have asked them and the feedback that you will receive will truly make you feel fabulous and full of confidence.

Rightly or wrongly, we live in a society where other peoples’ opinions count to our self esteem and confidence.

By completing this exercise you will get some really good insight into some of your strengths.

Often you receive valuable information on the strengths that you didn’t even know you had!


•    What do you perceive to be my greatest strengths?

•    What do you like most about me?

•    What do you value most about me?

•    What three words sum up the positive points about me?

•    If you needed help with something, what would you call me to help you with?

After you have received all of the feedback it is now time to reflect on what has been written or said:

How do you feel about it?

Are there any surprises?

Do you feel confident about your abilities?

How can you use this information going forward?

How can you maximize your strengths?

If these people think you have these strengths, so do a lot of other people as well – how does that make you feel?

What are the key insights you have learned?

What will you do now that is different to what you have done before?

Have a great week!



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1: an act, process, or instance of transforming or being transformed
In the bible it reads; Be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind. Notice it states renewing which is continual. It’s not a place of arrival and then you’re done. There are many things that come to stop us from reaching our destiny and fulfilling our purpose.

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Happy Summertime!

You've made strategic plans, did some networking and even
developed a great schedule for marketing and monetizing
your efforts and now comes the turn. The turn when you must
figure out how to keep the momentum going, create a schedule
that will allow you to leverage your time and still realize
gains in your business while fulfilling the other roles in
your life. The Summer Time turn.

It's not easy realizing work at home women's empowerment and
it can be even harder as you make the transition from the
school year to the Summer months.

Now is the time you must streamline and set one BIG goal that
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The key word is focus. If you've ever learned the skill of focus,
now is the time to embrace the act of focusing on what matters most.

Need help with how to gain massive results while committing to
your desire to give what you need to your family and children
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while getting through the Summer months that have been known
to be slow months due to one of meany reasons the season
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I'm in love!

I am in love!

Yes - it's true - I am in love! I've meet this wonderful person. This person is kind, loving, knows me inside and out - my good points - and my not so good points - my past, my present - and knows where I want to be in my future.

This person just loves all of my diva self!

And this person's name is 'Ophelia'!

Yes, I'm in love with me! It is not a prima donna type of love - a love that is selfish or unkind - but a love of who I am - a love of who I was - a love for where I've come from - and a love of where I'm going.

My mother always use to say 'you can't love anyone else - unless you FIRST love yourself'.

I've always, had a good sense of self-esteem - not to much to annoy people (at least I hope not) - but enough to NOT feel like I was less than - because of my size, the colour of my skin - or whatever negative views people had of me - I've always felt that I was a Divine child and a beautiful person.

I was getting rid of some last bits and pieces from my marriage - and as I shredded some documents and photos - I realized that when I got married and during the marriage - I had lost a bit of myself - and had not allowed my light to shine to it's full brilliance with in the marriage.

Part of the reason, the marriage ended - was due to the fact - that I wanted to shine my light - and be my true authentic self - and felt the support was not there for me to do so....In shredding the stuff, I realized there was no hate - or love for my X - just indifference - a warm sense of peace - a feeling of joy for where I now am - an acceptance for that part of my life and the contribution it made to where I am today - and I realized - I was back!

Ophelia is back! I am in love with me! So never - ever - never let anyone - even yourslf - make you feel less than! Look out world here I come!

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SEATING IS NOW LIMITED FOR THIS MASTERMIND. CAP: 200 Begin: Thursday, December 3, 2009 and Ends March 11, 2010 From 7:00PM to 8:00PM EST SHARP!


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Building confidence; why appearance is important

The amount of times I’ve sat in my office ready to interview a potential candid for a position only to be put off as soon as the person enters the room. Either it has been what they were wearing attire totally inappropriate for the interview, or their body language was the opposite of what they were saying or the hygiene was a total no no!It is said that we make judgements of one another in the first 30 seconds of meetingDo you know that how we look effects the way we feel? It’s true if you don’t look the part you won’t feel the part. That’s why looking good is so important, because quite simple we are what we feel!When you begin dressing like a CEO; long before you ever become a CEO you begin feeling like one! That’s simply because you started dressing like one. The people who say how we dress is unimportant, are people who are afraid of total achievement. Very few people would put their trust in someone who says they are one thing, but their attire the opposite. If appearance was unimportant as some would have us believe, companies like Mac Donald’s, Tesco, Virgin... the list is endless, wouldn’t spend millions on creating an image.If I were given a penny for the number of times people have mistaken me for an executive long before I became one, because of my appearance, I would have tidy sum today. Indeed appearance is not everything but it is a key ingredient to success.Dressing the part, even though you may not be the part (as yet) goes a long way in not just convincing others that you have what it takes to do what say you are able to do; but in giving you a sense of self belief.Just as we generally trust someone in uniform, people generally trust some one who has spent a bit of time and thought on their appearance. Looking about or after your appearance says something about you. It says you care, you’re willing and able, and you’re passionate about what it is you are going for. You’re not laid back or complacent, but you’re positive, committed and forward thinking.Now you may not agree with any of the above, but the fact still remains the better your appearance the better you feel, the better you feel the more able you are, the more able you are, the better your chance of success. Indeed it easy to feel fit for the task if you’re aptly dressed for the task. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying appearance solves all the challenges you will face in starting and running your own business but it sure will help you find the confidence, self esteem and authority to.Here are a few appearance tips:1. Always pop into the bathroom to have a quick look in the mirror before entering a meeting.2. Wear shirts and or ties, suits, waist coats, skirts and blouses or trousers, but never jeans to any business interaction3. If you wear clothes which are bright in colour ensure you wear another colour to temper the bright colour4. Wear clothes which are colour co-ordinated5. Create a look that’s smart but comfortable for you6. Women need to ensure they do not wear heels over 2 ½ - 3 inches high.7. Foot wear should always be need to be clean8. Hair should be clean, neat not too colourful. Long hair should be well groomed and or tied back/up.9. Wear clothes that fit and compliment your size; not too tight, not to large, not too revealing10. Dress appropriately for the occasion11. Limit the amount of jewellery to a maximum of two rings, a watch and a maximum of two chains.12. Go easy on the cologne or perfume, not everyone has the same taste as you.13. There should be nothing about your appearance; that deflects peoples attention whom you are and what you able to achieve i.e. intrusive facial hair, bad breathe & rotten teeth, body odour, excessive piercings etcDon't dress to kill... dress to succeed
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Ezine Article by Denise R. McCoyEmployers have it tough these days. In the everchanging world of employee relations, how can you be sure that your employees are truly happy with you as an employer? Are you gauging their happiness by using the traditioanl checks and balances?Do they show up everyday?--check! Are they well groomed?--check! Do they report to work on time?--check! Have they told you how much they appreciate their job? During the last employee review, was it an improvement from the previous 6 to 12 months, or has there been a change in their performance?Well, let's hope this New Housing Employee Benefits: Building Moral, Retaining Employees & Recruiting Top Talent can help shed some light on a traditional subject with an innovative spin.Remember the game, Family Feud? During the 30 minute game show families from all over the United States would compete for a chance to win $10,000.00 by guessing what America thought about certain topics. The questions would go something like this...."Name something found in your mother's purse?" "This is something you might consume after you eat a spicy meal." "Name something a teenage girl looks forward to?" Truly, there was never a wrong or right answer. The only answer was YOUR answer.Imagine you invited me to visit with you this afternoon. Let's say, I stopped by during the lunch hour. The purpose of my visit is to help you gain a better understanding of how your employees see YOU as their employer. The core focus of my discussion is your current benefits package. I might ask your employees, "How would you rate your employers' benefits package? How do the benefits offered match up to the needs of your family? Are there any benefits not being offered that you would like to see offered?Again, this is a hypothetical scenario. By walking you through the exercise, I'm sure your wheels started to turn. You began to think like the employee for just a moment. Employee relations is just that--relating to your employees.Traditionally, 401(k), medical, dental and vision benefits were the norm for any job. However, alot has changed. Employees are looking for a benefits package that is tangible with the ability to build long term stability and growth. Although the same old benefits program is still widely received by most employees, offering an innovative alternative could change the landscape of your business model tremendously.The National Association of Realtors is the largest trade organization in the world. To date, they have over 1 million Realtor members. They are the "Voice of Real Estate". The NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS® was founded as the National Association of Real Estate Exchanges on May 12, 1908, at the YMCA Auditorium in Chicago, IL. Their code of ethics was adopted in 1913, as the "Golden Rule." Visit After 101 years in existence, NAR remains the most trusted name in Real Estate.Recently, the National Association of Realtors made history during the launch of one of the most innovative employer assisted housing benefits program (EAH), known as Home from Work. The program encourages employers to help their valued employees realize their dream of home ownership by assisting them with the purchase process.To help get the word out about the program, Realtors are trained by Certified Trainer/Instructors in the benefits of the Home from Work program. They are shown how to introduce the concept to their local associations, non-profit housing agencies and employers. As you can imagine, Realtors are more than just agents. Many consumers see real estate professionals as housing advocates. The Home from Work program allows Realtors the opportunity to become leaders in their community with the power and ability to effect positive change.Employers may wonder how they may benefit by offering such a program. There are three key benefits of the Home from Work Employer Assisted Housing Benefits Program:*On-site home buyer education workshops conducted by Realtors and lenders*On-one-one counseling administered by a non-profit housing agency*Financial incentive (matched savings, grant, deferred loan.Traditionally, potential homeowners face 3 hurdles. Lack of information, lack of confidence and lack of funds are barriers to homeownership. It's only fitting that the 3 benefits of the HFW programs, cancel out these barriers.Employers like Kaiser, Agilent, National Bank of Redwoods, Novato Hospital and the North Main Water District have developed a successful EAH benefits campaign and so can you. Housing benefits help build moral, retain employees and adds a new flavor to your recruitment efforts. Not only that, employers that are proactive in building good employee/employer relations are seen as leaders on the cutting edge of what's new and what's next for their respective industries.Still not convinced your employees would respond favorably to such a program? I would encourage you to devote 5 minutes of your time by asking them. Not sure how to do that? Email a request for the "Employee Homeownership Survey", to survey only takes 4 minutes to complete. You will be amazed at the responses and well on your way to becoming a better employer.Think your employer might like this idea? Share this article with them or connect with me
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It's been a wonderful Summer and I can't express enoughmy gratitude for all of the support and words of affirmationthat I received over the course of the summer and this yearfor that matter.I've had this question asked by many women and it is simplyhow do I get started? Or how do I continue even when it seems like nothing's happening?I've been sharing about the army of empowered women that I'm building, are you ready to join the revolution?This Thursday, October 1 marks the beginning. I'm going to shareeverything I can to motivate and challenge each and everyone of you to take the leap of faith to begin living the life of abundance that Father God designed for you. We're just about in the last quarter of the year, however, this is not the time to retreat. Power up!Let's make Father God's dreams come true for you. Dreams alive is about His dreams for you being activated by your burning desire and re-dedication of your life to His purpose for you. In essence your dreams will ultimately manifest as you partner with God.Join me Thursday, October 1 at 1:30 PM PST 4:30 PM ESTThere will be a recorded audio replay for each registrant.Plus discover how you can write your own empowerment-successsong for your life and participate in my upcoming session fre.e .Go to:"It's never too late to redeem your dreams." ~ Sharon Williams
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