It’s time to Let Go
Completely
From our thoughts and our heart
It’s time to Let Go
Completely
So we can move forward
To forgive someone is sometimes easier said than done.
What is it to forgive someone? I have been hurt physically & emotionally. It will take a lot for me to get over all the hurt that I had to endure and yet I must find a way to forgive. It is very easy to see or feel how much someone hurts us, however we may not always see or feel how much we also have hurt others. Maybe if we could understand where our hurt comes from, it would be easier to forgive. If we could find a way to let go completely we would be able to move forward.
My husband and I didn’t communicate to each other and that caused us both to jump to conclusions based on our past. We didn’t love ourselves enough to be honest about our own hearts and feelings. We didn’t allow ourselves to become one because we both held on to our past hurt so much. By holding onto those past hurts we let ourselves experience the hurt over and over again instead of allowing us to heal together. We were our own worst enemies. We knew we had something special because God brought us together to help each other. We knew that we had gone through the same things and therefore should be able to understand each other. We should have been able to help each other and yet we let our own feelings cause us the pain we tried so hard to avoid. My husband and I experienced a selfish -kind of hurt. I say that because we were too concerned about ourselves rather than being concerned about each other. This selfish hurt caused us to not let go and therefore, we could not move forward. The sad thing about it is that we caused our own problems by being selfish. He did not cause my hurt and I did not cause his hurt, we were both responsible for our own hurt.
How could we ever forgive each other if we were not willing to let go of the hurt we had built up inside ourselves? In order to forgive others we must first look in the mirror and see who we are. Are we holding onto hurt feelings and holding someone else responsible for our feelings? Everyone has a past and our past makes us who we are, however our past is just that…”our past”…it is not our future. I had to look inside myself to find what drives the force of forgiveness for me personally. I had to look within myself to find the peace in my heart that allowed me to forgive. My life consisted of many experiences which I held on to. Some of those experiences were good and some were bad. I realized that by holding on to those experiences, they had a part in developing me as a person. I choose how to categorize each experience and how to let each experience shape my life. Because, we as humans, tend to dwell on the bad or negative, I allowed those bad and negative experiences to control my inner self. I don't think we realize when we do this. I don't think we even realize that it is our choice how we live. We are in control of our self no one else can control what is in us...only we have that control. I had to realize this to understand how to forgive. My husband was not responsible for the feelings I had. Those feelings were in me long before I even met him. My feelings of insecurity, my feelings of being unloved, my feelings of having no self esteem were my choices. It was my choice to allow my feelings to be confirmed by his words or actions. It was my choice to allow him to affect my life in a negative way. What happened to me...was not me. I had always tried to live my life in a positive way. One of the main beliefs I lived by was that everything in life is a gift from God. Everything is an experience that God has allowed us to have. You do not know the reason, however at the very base we were given each experience to learn from and possibly to use to help someone else in the future who may also go through the same experience. I lost this belief, because I choose to. I was not strong enough within myself to realize what I was allowing to happen. I had to look within myself to be able to forgive myself enough to let go of the choices I kept buried in my heart. I had to let go of the bad choices I was allowing to control my life and my feelings. I had to accept that my choices are mine...no one else's. To understand the unique person that God made me to be, allowed me to not only accept myself as a beautiful creation of God, I was also able to forgive myself and accept my own choices. By accepting my self, I can accept that my husband is his own person also....an equally beautiful creation of God who was allowed his own unique choices (good or bad). In realizing this, I realized that my husband is responsible for his own choices and I don't have to allow his choice to affect me in a negative way. The story I have expressed was from my heart, however it is not a true story in that it was not only my heart that was involved. My husband went through his own types of pains and hurts. My husband was also a victim of my choices. My husband deserves the right to be who God created him to be without judgment or blame from me or anyone else. Just as I became the person I became, he also became the person he became due to his past and the very hard and unique challenges he had to experience. No one can say that either he; nor I was more or less to blame... we are who we are because God made us this way. God has a reason for each of us, that is why he created us each as a unique individual. I am blessed and able to accept and love myself and my husband as the unique and blessed people that God has created us to be. I am a perfect creation of God and so is my husband; that is the reason God brought us together… for each other. For me to forgive was to find peace within myself through Christ. To forgive I had to replace the hurt in my heart with Love.
I forgive because I accept the blessings God has given us as individuals.
Maybe to forgive others
means
to be able to forgive ourselves;
and now in front of the world...
I proclaim
To my Husband.....
Donell,
I forgive you!
Can you forgive me?
feelings (5)
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I LOVE TO FAIL AND YOU SHOULD TOO!
By RICKEY JOHNSON
Great Day to ya!!!!
This is the area that many do not talk about with any substance.
It is always presented as the "thing" to avoid while making your success journey.
REALITY, it is the "thing" you must properly place in your psyche as move on the road of life.
It is a subject that deserves discussion, for the proper understanding of this event, will help multitudes move forward.
It is a subject that deserves discussion, for the proper understanding of this event, will help multitudes move forward.
Enjoy Everyday to the Fullest
FAILURE
With the Puritans, the success/failure ethic was born. America invented a new upper class with only one entry requirement: money. America is the cruelest county in which to fail
.
America is also the best place in the world to fail.
America is also the best place in the world to fail.
This is the land where you can go from rags to riches to rags and still hope to go back to riches. Few of us recognize the benefit of failure.
It is important to fail and important to give our children permission to fail.
Learning early in life, that you can survive defeat, makes you tougher and more resilient, for the rest of your life.
There is no accomplishment without risk. Failure gives you options. It is important to understand what failure is and what it isn’t.
Success and failure are not polar opposites they are part of a continuum.
Neither is likely to be permanent; the irony is we believe both we last forever. It is the way you cope with failure that shapes you, not the failure itself.
In the end, real strength comes from knowing we can survive.
There are few things worse than feeling you have failed.
Your mood swings wildly from hope to despair.
It is a time of great confusion.
Failure seems to trigger a series of stages that are distinct and predictable.
The stages are (1) Shock, (2) Fear, (3)Anger and Blame, (4) Shame, (5) Despair.
First stage – Shock– The first reaction to sudden loss is disbelief, shock, and numbness.
The mind denies what it cannot process.
Reactions are often physical; at this stage you should do nothing.
It is always a mistake to make any major decisions during this phase.
What you need most at this stage is a sympathetic listener, not someone who will offer advice.
Whenever shock occurs, it is safer do absolutely nothing except wait and allow the pain to recede
.
Second Stage – Fear– At first, fear may be quite specific and even appropriate, but they can escalate quickly to unmanageable proportions.
Second Stage – Fear– At first, fear may be quite specific and even appropriate, but they can escalate quickly to unmanageable proportions.
By taking fear out of the shadows, fear becomes more manageable. Fear can turn into panic – a sense of sudden, incapacitating alarm.
Third Stage – Anger and Blame- as long as it is a passing stage it’s healthy. It is a sign you value yourself.
Blame, although everybody engages in it, it is almost always inaccurate.
Blame, in other words, will only be your first interpretation, and not a very accurate one at that. Anger, revenge, and blame are temporary and highly useful emotions. These feelings serve a definite function; they become a problem only if they persist.
Fourth Stage – Shame– Shame owes its existence to the authority we give other people to judge us. Judging our own behavior, we might feel ashamed- a personal regret in not living up to an ideal – not shame – disapproval in the yes of others.
Your attitude will determine the way they see you. If you act ashamed and defeated people will treat you accordingly. Shame is an unproductive feeling, but one that can only exist if you grant others authority to judge you. Remind yourself that you are in power here.
NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL A VICTIM BUT YOU YOURSELF
(Say that Again!!!!)
Fifth Stage – Despair– Despair occurs only when there is a massive ego loss with no subsequent ego gain, and no apparent way out “Depression occurs when we lose confidence in our own coping mechanisms.
"We become depressed when we are bankrupt of self-esteem and self-confidence, when we no longer have sense of our own capacities to insure either our actual survival or the worthiness or value of the life which we can sustain. Psychiatrist Willard Gaylin.”
Most depression is self-limiting. Usually after a period of a few months at most, the depression will usually have run it course.
One of the best ways to hasten the end of this stage of despair is to give in to it and allow yourself to mourn.
The best way to overcome despair is to give up least temporarily the serious endeavor that has defeated you and to turn instead to an easier, more accomplishable, different activity.
The stages of failure are as predictable as the stages of a disease, and just as survivable.
Everyone experiences them and although they are uncomfortable, they are not permanent.
What is important is to let them happen so that you can get done with them.
To fail achieving a particular objective or goal is not a determination of self – worth.
It is just measuring point of what other areas of self-development you may need to experience or skills you may need to obtain.
The irony of succeeding is that one must fail first, to some degree, to obtain success.
This is a valuable lesson of life to recognize and accept.
Once you understand this realization, that succeeding is failing and failing leads to success, you are own your on way to some exciting and personally rewarding experiences.
This is one of business building articles by Juniques Marketing.
I Love to Fail and You should too! Will help you succeed beyond your wildest dreams.
www.jusmcc.org
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Reflecting on the past can work in any relationship whether personal or business when situations which call for a crucial decision come up. If you haven’t had a similar experience, try being positive first. It could save you time, money and effort, and a good friend or business associate. A negative response may cause you to have to start all over and lose something or someone very valuable to your life. The following story is a good example of my theory.
Yesterday I was visiting my boyfriend (yes, I have a boyfriend at my age, but that’s for another discussion), and he said something that “hurt my feelings,” and for a moment I froze. I say “hurt my feelings,” although no one can “hurt” your feelings. They are your feelings and you alone control how you feel. He could only direct my positive or negative response, which I also still control.
Anyway, the super-sensitive, low self-esteem, jealous, ejective Paris pulled her head in like a turtle and began to sulk. That was my first reaction and the old me would have been plotting ways in her head to break away from the relationship. She would have become angry and mean, and probably would have said some rather nasty and unladylike things involving body parts and personality traits.
But thank God I remembered a very similar situation from over 30 yeas ago in which the man wasn’t trying to hurt my feelings. He was sharing a decision he had made and an action he had taken which put me at the front of the line. (Ladies, there’s always a line, whether in fact or in fiction (such as the Playboy Channel). So, being the new me, my response became positive, and worked to draw me closer to him rather than to “throw the baby out with the bath water.”
I would have preferred not to know about his actions, but the fact that he was willing to share them with me let me see that he trusts me enough to tell me something which could have caused a very bad reaction. I appreciated his trust, which deepened my feelings.
If I had not have had that past experience, and recalled it, I would have made a very bad current mistake. My wish for you is to live life, love deeply, and laugh often.
