love - Blogs - Black Business Women Online

HER SENSUOUS TOUCH--THE DUCHESS POET

Posted by VERNON DAVIS JR. on June 19, 2009 at 7:30pm

YOUR FINGERSbyVernon J. Davis Jr.There'sThat Subtle Yearning,That Tingling, Your Fingers CreateWith WordsFrom Your MuseI Know You AreWriting About MeThinking About MeMaking Me Want Me...Guide Your Fingers Into My MouthAnd SpellL-O-V-E...WithMyTongueYour Fingers Always Caressing ThatStiff,Erect,"Stand-At-Attention!"Pen,Easily ArousedBy Your TouchBy Your InsightI Wish I Was That PenBecause,Your Fingers Would AlwaysMake Me Feel GoodAs You Begin To WriteRolling Those Fingers Of Yours...Around Me©6/16/2009 Vernon J. Davis Jr. All Rights Reserved.Read more poetry at www.vernonjdavisjr.com

I Love You, My Child

Posted by Joneen Horton on May 17, 2009 at 4:00am

Just as parents love their children and want to protect and keep them, so is God. He desires to do us good all the days of our lives. I have to take moments throughout the day to remind myself of that. When crazy stuff happens, thinking on how God loves me like I love my children and far greater is comforting.

Blessed So Blessed

Posted by Day Wilson on April 4, 2009 at 3:45am

Today was a great day. I was able to get some rest, find leads to illustrators for my childrens book, and also spend quality time with my babies, mom and hubby. I feel good knowing all I had to do was ask GOD and he is showing me favor. Believe......because he believes in you!

It's The Passion Behind The Product That Matters

Posted by Melinda on March 25, 2009 at 4:07am

Hello Fellow Sisterprenuers,I have not spent much time here as yet since I've been busy recreating myself and my business. You know we have to look at ourselves every now and then and assess where we've been and where we're headed. Having my head in the game, so to speak, has inspired me to think about why I do what I do. This is the question, I believe, that will keep us fueled and inspired to keep going: what is the passion behind my product?I recently ran across a web site that talked about the value of operating from our hearts instead of our heads. I think that it is easy as business women to get a little caught up in the "gotta go and do" syndrome. I gotta go here, gotta go there, gotta call this one, gotta email that one, gotta sell, sell, sell, gotta network, and on and on. Well, yes of course there are many business related activities we are responsible for. However it is equally important to regularly reflect on why we do what we do.What else can motivate us when we are feeling a bit down or even a little pessimistic and lacking in confidence? Nothing can truly motivate us towards any gratifying action except for the "why" behind what we do. Have you ever had a meal prepared by someone who really didn't enjoy cooking? Well, chances are, the food was a bit boring or perhaps just uninspired. We like food that is prepared by someone who knows that the most important ingredient in food preparation is LOVE. This, I believe, is true for every endeavor. There must be love, purpose and passion as the driving force, otherwise our work or our "product" becomes bland, tasteless, and uninspired.My purpose is to help women build businesses and lives that they can feel good about. I am creating a community of phenomenal women: women who will commit to supporting one another, to encouraging one another and inspiring one another to live a joyful and success-filled life. I believe that our ultimate success comes about from building relationships that matter - not just selling products.So, please share with me. What is the love and passion that sparked your product? Mine is the desire to see ALL women realize their innate value and purpose in the world and help them create lives that are successful in every area. At one point in my life, I struggled to connect with my worth and my purpose. Now, there is no doubt in my mind that everyone who breathes deserves to live a happy, healthy and success-filled life, no matter what.Peace & Blessings,MelindaJoin The Butterfly Circle Women's Networkhttp://thebutterflycircle.com

You Got Friends!

Posted by Pastor Aminata on March 27, 2009 at 8:59pm

AOL became famous for it's "you got mail" thingy and a lot of people join it because of it. They loved to hear the "you got mail" when they logged on to their computers. When I was first introduced to the online social networks, I admit it was amazing. It's been just over 2 years now, first I join Facebook, next it was MyChurch and then the others came... "Ning" and now my own Christian Soul Saving Network, Word4UTVNetwork.I learned a lot in the process, via blogging how other Christians from parts of the country and the world see, share and experience Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I'd like to believe that I made a lot of friends, on these social networks, but the truth be told, "I don't think so."What I've come to realize is that the online christian community is really no different than the offline christian community. There are the good, the bad and the ugly; the naive, the wolves in sheep clothing, the whoremongers, false teachers and prophets, etc.; just to name a few. There are far to many people who pimp "My Jesus" for personal gain, and far too many control freaks, who feel really liberated because they can hide behind a computer screen. I see far to much manipulation and condemnation that leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but yet.... I still see Jesus! Yes I do see Jesus.I see Jesus in the few friends who show the love of Christ in their consistency, who have a genuine heart for the Lord, in their words alone. They care and are not afraid to show it. As friends we share this in common, the love of Jesus Christ, unconditionally. Yes, these few are my friends.But, talk about being naive! Well, that's my middle name. I thought that all these friends (almost 1,500 across the social networks), would also support me as well on Word4UTVNetwork. NOT! Well, reality is as reality does... Here I am with the few blogs I do write, posting them to each and every site I belong to, and yet... those same friends who asked me to join them... do not return the favor.Don't get me wrong, I'm blessed and highly favored! I just think it is so sad that we just don't get it. We don't see how our (yes I said our) talk doesn't line up with our walk. We are turfie, we are cliquey, and yes some of us are still to narrow, because we think that to support one is to deny another, why is that? But the real deal, the ugly reality is they never intended to be supportive, they only seek it from others.Now as for me, you might say, "hey, I haven't seen or heard from you lately, what's up with that?" Well, I've been quite busy, online and offline, plus it's a huge learning curve trying to grow your own social network, especially since I promote Jesus Christ, which on a global scale isn't very popular, and let's face it... I'm a woman and black, yeah I said it. Because it's the truth. Many of us still have issues. I live in a world where people still expect you to ask permission to be yourself, like who said you can do that, and where do you get off trying to do that? My answer is: Jesus!I don't have anyone to teach me except the Holy Spirit, and it does take a lot of my time, trying to understand concepts that I'm just not familiar with at all. Yet, I say this is all for "The Glory of God", not me. Word4UTVNetwork is a christian soul saving network, sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ to a dying global community. We are not the only one, just another one doing what we feel God has called us to do.To each of you reading this blog, you have a standing invitation to come and join us. Come and help us in the great commission. I'm not asking you to forsake where you are, rather, to extend your reach that's all.Jhn 15:13 " Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." You got friends! The truth be told, not really. These are just folk who want me as another notch on their friend list, and that's just the way it is.Pastor AminataCreator of Word4UTVNetworkCreator of "God Has A Word For You E-Telecast"CEO, Leadershipology, Inc.

See The Pretty Butterfly Video

Posted by KAMAL IMANI*The Soul Griot! on February 12, 2009 at 8:22pm

Watch this beautiful R&B video by Niva “Pretty Butterfly”

In this beautiful and true to life R&B Soul music video featuring Niva the Diva and actor/model Will Steen, Niva sings about her triumph through abuse and opposition to go through trials and metamorphosis to become a pretty butterfly indeed.Directed by newblackmusic.netMusic by HitmastazKamal Imani ManagementSoulgriots.com/RevolutionaryARt InnertainmentAvailable at http://cdbaby.com/cd/niva

A kiss on the neck

Posted by Lakishi Johnson on February 8, 2009 at 5:34am

How to find the love you want!

Posted by Daphne Porter on February 3, 2009 at 4:27pm

This is the month of love. Yes it’s Valentines Day, but more importantly this is the month that was set aside to celebrate and honor Black History. During this month we hear and see lots of programming that chronicles the ups and downs of the black community, both past, present and future. But should we stop there? Should this be the only time that we really dig deeply into what’s ailing us or what we can do to uplift and better our community.Should this be the only time that we celebrate our accomplishments and the great inventors that are within our community? I believe we need to celebrate who we are on a daily basis. We should shout from the masses how proud we are to be who we are and where we have come from. We should teach our children, so they can teach their children and their children’s children how we come from and are a great, resilient group of people. We should look back and honor our ancestors and our elders who endured slavery, Jim Crow laws, lynchings, no voting rights, segregated water fountains, sitting in the back of the bus, segregated schools…the list goes on. They marched, went to jail, some were killed, but all have endured so that we could have a better day. We are now free to own businesses, eat and drink where we want, live where we want and yes we can vote, and have our vote count! Yes We Can! We are not where we should be, but we are definetly a lot better than we were.So how do we find the love we want? Look in the mirror, it starts with you; it starts with me. Let go of the poor self image that we sometimes hold onto. Let go of the negative view others may have towards us. Let go of the negative self talk we give ourselves. Let go of the fear and the word Can’t. Each of us have a unique purpose. We have been given an assignment to carry out. We have been blessed with talents and gifts. Let’s use them to uplift, inspire, encourage and empower ourselves as well as others.So where is that love? It’s within us. We are that love we’ve been looking for. Love your curves, so what they are a little bigger than last year. Love your full lips, love your curly hair. Enjoy and embrace your unique beauty you have inside and out. We can’t expect to receive love if we don’t give it; and we have to start with giving it to ourselves first. This February let’s walk in an abundance of love, let’s celebrate who we are and who we are evolving into. Let make new history. Let’s send ourselves roses and candy on Valentines Day. Let’s be the love we are searching for.“I have learned not to worry about love, but to honor its coming with all my heart”~Alice Walker (African-American writer and poet)Imagine Life...Be Empowered...Live on PURPOSE!www.MYESHE.webs.com

Hollywood Screening THIS SUNDAY

Posted by Nikki Love on January 21, 2009 at 6:36pm

REEL Screening SeriesPresents "The Souls of Black Girls"THIS Sunday, January 25, 2009 jpeg

REEL Ladies in association with JNL Media presents the talked about documentary "Souls of Black Girls", a Film Noire Production.

The Souls of Black Girls is a provocative news documentary that takes a critical look at media images-- how they are instituted, established and controlled. The documentary also examines the relationship between the historical and existing media images of women of color and raises the question of whether they may be suffering from a self-image disorder as a result of trying to attain the standards of beauty that are celebrated in media images.The documentary features candid interviews with young women discussing their self-image and social commentary from Actresses Regina King and Jada Pinkett Smith, PBS Washington Week Moderator Gwen Ifill, among others. The Souls of Black Girls is a piece that attempts to provoke honest dialogue and critical thinking among women of color about media images and our present condition—internally and externally.MEET THE FILMMAKER: Daphne ValeriusDaphne Valerius, one to watch as the era of women of color redefining the landscape of media images – in front and behind the camera - begins to unfold.For Valerius the production of The Souls of Black Girls, which she also wrote, edited and produced, marks the beginning for “my sisters, my aunts, my nieces, my cousins and my daughters who stand beside me to have a better understanding of why and how media images affect our self-image and self-esteem.”Talented, passionate and committed Valerius aspires to influence, inspire and uplift women of color through positive, educational and healing television and film projects—in front and behind the camera. “I will always remember Halle Berry’s acceptance speech for her Academy Award, ‘it's for every nameless, faceless woman of color that now has a chance.’ that was my inspiration.”Join us for the screening and the round table discussion immediately following with our prestigious panel of speakers. Let's talk about the issues and how we can affect CHANGE, this is an event you don't want to miss!REEL PANELISTS:Neema BarnetteEmmy Award Winning Director, Neema Barnette, was the FIRST African American Woman to Direct a Sitcom! Neema's works includes The Cosby Show, 7th Heaven, Civil Brand, Gilmore Girls and MORE!Keesha SharpNAACP Image Award Nominated Actress, Keesha's projects include Girlfriends, Everybody Hates Chris, Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married and MORE! Keesha has worked with many well respected directors in Television, Film, Broadway, Off-Broadway and Regional Theatre.Tanya KerseyOne of Hollywood's most respected and well-regarded entertainment journalist and commentator. Tanya Kersey is the Founder and Executive Director of the Hollywood Black Film Festival, Creator of Black Talent News and MORE!Terri VaughnActress & Producer, Terri's projects include Three Can Play That Game, All of Us, The Steve Harvey Show, Angels Can't Help But to Laugh and MORE! Terri is also the founder of Take Wings Foundation which provides scholarships and mentoring to women living in public housing.Juanita JenningsActress, Juanita Jennings, has been a series regular in The Bold & the Beautiful, Lincoln Heights and MORE. She has been seen in films such as Baby Boy, Runaway Jury and Daddy's Little Girls.MODERATORREEL Ladies Founder, Actress, Writer & Producer Nikki Love jpeg

TOPICSBlack Women in MediaBeauty & Self ImageBlack Women & Self ImageYouth & Self ImageFilm/EntertainmentHow to affect changeWe will be REALLY diving into this issue and various viewpoints on it. We will NOT be tiptoeing around this subject. This is a Round Table discussion with honest feedback and opinions from Guests as well as the Featured Panelists! *Men are Invited and Encouraged to attend*Our Goal:TO INCREASE SOCIAL AWARENESS AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE NOT ONLY IN HOLLYWOOD BUT IN WOMEN!THIS IS A CAN'T MISS INDUSTRY EVENT!Night Includes:Film Screening, Filmmaker Q&A, Round Table Discussion, Complimentary Appetizers, Hollywood Networking and MORE!FREE Parking, Cash Bar--------------------------------------------------------------------------------JOIN THE HOLLYWOOD DISCUSSION! jpeg

WHEN: Sunday, Jan 25, 20097pm - 11pmWHERE: Busby's (Upper Level)5364 Wilshire Blvd.Los Angeles, CA.COST: $20 Members$25 Non-Members in Advance$30 at the doorPURCHASE TICKETS HEREand Save $$$Members Email Us for your Member DiscountFor additional inquiries please email REELLadies@yahoo.comWant your film screened? Email us for details!

Can You Grow Anywhere?

Posted by Narda Goodson on January 27, 2009 at 7:36pm

There are “wildflowers” that grow in their natural state rather than being cultivated in the parks or gardens, yet, they tell of the splendor and brilliance of God’s glorious design. While not all “wildflowers” are bad, God has placed them in unique places, i.e. highways and by-ways, meadows, pastures, and fields. Remarkably, they can also be found in remote and secluded territory.The Lily of the Valley is a type of believer that grows in the deep and difficult places of life. This serves as a reminder that others have gone before us, yet, they were able to develop, blossom, and mature during their demanding seasons. It also serves as an indication of God’s power to keep us during our personal wilderness and valley experiences and an amazing glimpse that beauty can be seen even in the most unpleasant circumstances.Are you like a wildflower? Can you, through the rigid conditions of life’s journey, develop, blossom, and mature to your full potential? Do you permit the power of God to flow through you even when things are grueling, strenuous, and testing? Can you grow “anywhere” God chooses to plant you? Finally, the most challenging question, can you allow the brilliance of your life to shy away and go to seed when it is over? For he that loseth his life for my sake, shall find it (Matt. 10:39).Our “wildflowers” should be God’s gift of uniqueness that conveys and radiates His love, grace, and strength in us for others. Psalms 2:1 says, He is the Lily of the Valley and the Bright and Morning Star. All of this can be seen in a “wildflower”.Tilt your heart towards the SON!Pastor Narda GoodsonFirst Lady of Whitewright, TexasOfficial Website: http://anointedarrowsproductions.org\Social Network: http://christianwomenpredestinedbygod.ning.com/Copyright 2008 Gospel "PiLLs". All Rights Reserved

Why Ask Why?

Posted by Deidre Logan on January 12, 2009 at 6:07pm

In the great mental vacuum of psychobabble and matching talk shows, seems to be an endless string of people from failed relationships asking “why”. “Why didn’t I get my promised phone call?” “Why weren’t they where they said they were going to be?” “Why did they lie to me?” “Why did they cheat on me?” Why, why, why, why!!! These pointless inquiries are usually followed by some mention of “closure” as if having “closure” somehow changes the end results. My question is why ask why?The fact is it makes no difference. Why people do what they do rarely makes a difference. That they do what they do is what ultimately matters. Oh, I realize most people think that if the “reason” is good enough, it’s going to make everything OK somehow. But let’s face it; the reasons are usually a far cry from the near life and death scenarios we need them to be for our own rationalizations. Oftentimes, the “reasons” people give are just more lies. Which brings me back to my original question – why ask why?Ask this, am I hurt about the lie or action? Would you really feel better knowing that you didn’t get that call because she was just trying to spare your feelings or would you prefer that she simply didn’t make a promise she never intended to keep? Would you really feel better if you knew that he lied to you just to get laid or would you prefer that he was simply honest about wanting to get laid so you could be a real adult and decide for yourself if you wanted to participate? How does it hurt less or damage you less if you know you were cheated on just because it was possible? Is it better to be cheated on for meaningless sex or because of a relationship?My point is, whatever the “reason”, the end result is the same. Most of us have enough to do trying to replenish ourselves after a bad relationship. If you really want to spend that time productively, it would be much better to focus on what actually does matter – dealing with the reality of the situation you’re left with. Don’t deny; don’t distort; don’t try to medicate away the feelings – they suck, but they’re not fatal. People somehow manage to live through them all the time – no matter how horrible.Give yourself the opportunity to be surprised and proud of how strong you really are. See it for what it is; deal with it; and become a better person on the other side of the pain. That way, you can be truly useful and pay your wisdom forward to someone else suffering the same agony.Speaking the truth in love,Deidre

What are you possessing for 2009?

Posted by NATASHA Your Wellness Informant on January 1, 2009 at 12:39am

Leave disease and illness in 2008, renew your mind daily on The Well-Side.For many years I suffered with several illnesses and was told that it was normal. Then I realized the importance of food and how it can heal the body. I released my ownership of disease and illness and decided to choose Wholeness. I can hear my body more clearly; I make better choices, and live with the respect of self and others.So I ask you, “What are you possessing?” On this last day of 2008 make the choice to renew your Total Body-Consciousness daily by making choices that add to you.You no longer have to live a life where food is your enemy.Tips to come to The Well-SideAche or pain - find the root cause of the issue before using medication to mask the symptom.Proactive - ask questions when you visit your care provider, know your body, never take possession of a diagnosis, seek options to make an informed choice to eradicate the cause of the illness.Self-Love – respect yourself enough to get the proper rest (no just sleeping), take time to spend alone to meditate/pray, be honest with yourself and others, know when and how to say “NO!”Leave the baggage behind – let go of foods you know are not working for you. Stop trying to convince yourself that this is the last time, find an alternative.Recreate – if you do not like your reflection change it. Stop receiving how others define you and create yourself for who you are (Be-come who you desire to BE). You make your own reality.Exercise – do it. Start small and increase but get started. Walk, jump rope, roller skate, run, play with your children, too many options for excuses.If you do not make these changes for yourself think of those who love and care for you, do it for them. Why shorten your life when you can live a long abundant life.“Total Body-Consciousness possess yours in 2009”Say this until you begin to live it “Wellness is Mine in 2009!”

Note to Self - "09 Is Mine"

Posted by Dr. Angela Butts Chester on January 2, 2009 at 4:32am

Out with the old and in with the new, a long lived tradition of many people across theworld. Every New Year many people start off with a resolution but even fewer gothrough with it. For some, the pressure of simply saying it gives them a feeling of dread.Why do that to yourself? Why not give yourself permission to succeed? So instead of along list of to-do’s, simply write yourself a note.You don’t have to start off with many notes. In fact give yourself permission to only havetwo or three notes at first. As you accomplish them, give yourself a new note. Make sureyou select the best stationary that you can afford at the time. As you grow, yourstationary may also reflect your growth.Sit down in a quite place and really think about what it is that you wish to accomplish. Besure to write down these important facts in the note:1. What to you wish to accomplish2. Why do you want to do this3. When is the accomplishment date4. Who will benefit from its completion5. Where will you be when it is doneEverything we do in life has a plan. Not doing anything with your life at all – that, is yourplan. If you are making $250,000 a year – that is your plan. No matter the day or time, besure that you are following a plan. So instead of making grand statements of what youwill do this year, start off with an achievable approach first. No more resolutions andlofty promises. Simply write a note to yourself. When you change your outlook andperception on life the things around you will reflect your positive affirmation and mentalattitude. You will change not only yourself but those around you.The way in which you go about life determines what you receive. Instead of saying, “Iwant to lose 20 pounds” without having a plan other than the phrase, “I will go on a diet”your success rate will be low. But stating that you will change your lifestyle by eatinghealthy foods and exercising by a certain date, you will get there. Maybe you wish tohave a make over. Select fashion that is appropriate for your body shape, age and place inlife. If you are striving to be an executive this year, dress the part. If you have a morelabor intensive job, get a more modern and fresh haircut.When you decide to act on a note to self, jot down the date you start, goal date andaccomplishment date in the corner as a visual. As you achieve each one, don’t throw itaway. Instead, keep it until the end of the year. From time to time, take a moment to lookat your notes and at all that you have accomplished. Being able to visualize youraccomplishments may be hard for some, so when you are able to look at your notes in aphysical form, you are now able to see what success looks like. When you are able to seewhat success looks like, you are able to see it more clearly each time you strive for the next goal.Be sure to reward yourself for each note completed. One way you can do this is to get acharm bracelet. Select a charm to add to the bracelet each time you are successful. Orderflowers for yourself and have them delivered to your job with a note that says I’m proudof you. This is another positive reaffirmation of your accomplishments.Your brain is your body’s computer. Inputting data is vital. The better the data, the betteryour reports and statistics will be. If you are putting in junk and visiting the wrongwebsite, don’t be surprised when you get a virus. Being around like-minded people isalso very important. If you have an issue with eating the proper foods, being aroundpeople who only eat junk food will not help you. Spending time with your friends wholove to eat fresh fruits and veggies, will give you a jump start on your note to self, eachtime. They will share with you bits of wisdom that they have gathered along the path ofhealthy eating, thus, changing your life, by touching those around them. There’s two oldexpression that come to mind – when you lay down with dogs you get flees and birds ofa feather flock together. Well, the same holds true in day-to-day life. Having a mentorand being around those that you wish to learn from is always a sign of a person whowishes to succeed.So as 2009 begins, begin your life on a positive note. Write down all the things that youare thankful for. You may be surprised at what you have accomplished already.

How to Stop the Spread of America’s Most Dangerous Pandemic - Narcissism

Posted by Deidre Logan on January 12, 2009 at 6:08pm

There was a time when I used to be amazed at the number of seemingly grown men who were unwilling to be responsible for their own lives and for those of the families they made. Like everyone else, I’ve seen the increasing dismal statistics of fatherlessness in the American community. I would even go so far as to say there is pandemic manlessness as well. Men in our extended families are also becoming increasingly rare. What seems to be commonplace now are families with lots of women, young children, and old men. Young men are few and far between – and getting fewer all the time.Many women have rushed to blame the men for this. After all, ultimately it is their choice to leave; their choice to follow the examples, or the lack thereof, that preceded them. These are grown men and entirely accountable for their action and/or inaction – granted.However, I submit to you that many women – particularly many single mothers – are in the deepest denial about their contribution to this pandemic. In their zeal to raise good sons they have often neglected to raise responsible men who would actually be suitably productive husbands and fathers. So many single mothers, mothering from the own pains and issues, often deliberately or incidentally surrogate their children into “pseudo-spouses”. In the process, these children often receive severely mixed messages. On the one hand, they are constantly reminded of how much they resemble all the worst traits in their fathers. On the other, their mothers are quick to lay guilt trips on them if they dare to establish an independent identity or a different significant female relationship. These boys get angry and resentful, so the mother’s remedy is often to indulge them. They are rewarded with material things in return for their faithfulness to fulfilling their mother’s wishes.And so the cycle continues until the sex drive takes over. Now, these same young men start “mating and procreating” with no significant grasp of the level of responsibility that creates. However, thinking that they do, they often “try” to be there. That usually lasts until he gets overwhelmed and/or it’s not fun anymore. She wakes up one day without him; and grandma is raising babies once again. Why? Because we have spawned yet another generation of people who believe the universe exists solely to serve them. If it doesn’t, then there is clearly something wrong with the universe – it couldn’t possibly be something wrong with them. We’ve created yet another generation of perfect pimps and then we get mad at them when they behave accordingly. We often create the monsters that come back to kill us.How do we stop it? Here are three things we can do: 1) Put them out of their parents’ house by age 21 – sooner if they don’t go to college at 18; 2) stop letting them have sex in a home they don’t have a lease/mortgage on; and 3) stop letting them move their girlfriends into that same house.Brain surgery – it is not!Speaking the truth in love,Deidre

Happy Holidays!!!

Posted by Debra P. Declouet on December 22, 2008 at 6:16am

I'm of the opinion that every day that we live, move and breathe is a day worthy and an opportunity afforded us to Glorify God and edify man.I believe the spirit of Christmas lives EVERYDAY; but, as my Pastor (Dr. John E. Montgomery, II) said today; Christmas represents the beginning of our blessings, for our SAVIOR'S arrival brought us redemption and reconciliation with God. I've shared that to say this: As we celebrate the Christmas Holiday and this Glorious New Year filled, might I add, with NEW POSSIBILITIES, let us remember the true reason for the season. JESUS, the Christ, was born. We have been redeemed and set free, so let us walk in our liberty this season and every.I love you and pray for you to experience ~ love, joy, peace, laughter and today I'll add another - TRUTH. I pray you TRUTH in all things, Christ is the way, the TRUTH and the life; so, I pray you Christ in all things.Be who you were created, designed and purposed to be - Whole! Be what He came that you may be - Free! Live as He says you might - Abundantly! (remember: the choice is yours)Wishing you the most Glorious Holiday Season, from my heart to yours.Love and Blessings Multiplied,Debra P. DeclouetWomen of Destiny, LLCPurpose-Minded to Promise. TMhttp://www.p-mtp.com

Last Minute Christmas deals

Posted by Traci on December 21, 2008 at 8:12pm

Hello All~I would like to offer my online offer....discount code " year end " will get you 40% off your total order....order by today, your order will ship tomorrow just in time for Christmas delivery.....we can ship to wherever you want...www.24-7diva.com - we have products for the mild to the wild....This is a great time to get that "special" someone something extra special... great stocking stuffers...Any questions on any of our products, please feel free to email me from the site...Happy Holidays...Be happy, be safe and be BLESSED!!!Traciwww.24-7diva.com

Pros And Cons Of Sex Before Marriage

Posted by Deidre Logan on December 15, 2008 at 11:48pm

What To Do, What To Do?This question won't be going anywhere any time soon. As long as there are people with rushing hormones, this is going to be an issue. Many will blame the animal in us (particularly men - sorry fellas- smile); others will blame our histories; still others will create their own philosophies.However, there are some things I have noticed that I don't see anyone else discussing. For example, anatomically speaking, all the reasons that sex is good for marriage make it bad before marriage. Research has shown that during the sexual process, hormones are released into our brains that are designed specifically to facilitate emotional bonding. Yes, emotional bonding does have a significant chemical component. If, in fact, this is true - it would go a long way toward explaining why it is ofen so much more difficult to break up with someone we've been sexual with. Even if we believe we didn't particularly enjoy the experience, the associated hormones tend to leave a lasting psychological imprint, if you will, that tends toward bonding with the object of the sexual connection. Unfortunately, this can happen in positive as well as negative ways.Another significant consideration is the fact that the human brain functions much differently under the influence of infatuation/sexual arousal than it does otherwise. Science has shown that areas of the brain mostly responsible for logic and rational judgment are largely short-changed of blood flow under the influence of infatuation/sexual arousal. I heard a saying once - when you're on your back, you lose your mind. There is scientific basis for the truth of this saying. Essentially, that means that you are literally incapable of comprehensive rational thought during sexual arousal. The creative and emotional brain centers, however, are sent into overdrive. On average, it takes about 90 days for this phenomenon to subside to the point of returning brain function and blood flow to normal levels.While sex before marriage may give you insight into your partner's sexual performance habits and/or preferences, it will also tend to set you up to emotionally make connections that are virtually guaranteed to fail. The more sex you have; the more connected you become to your partner and/or the act of sex itself; the less rational and more emotional you become - anatomically. Most people have little knowledge or understanding of their own biochemistry with regard to this issue. Unfortunately, ignorance does nothing to change the dynamics and you will live with the consequences whether you're aware of them or not.That's a major reason why so many new relationships typically don't make it past 90 days; why people look decidedly different to you after the orgasms are over than they did before; why so many people believe they "can't help" who they "love", etc. My advice to adults is to use your dating experiences as information gathering missions. Don't get too emotionally attached before 90 days have passed and make sure that you can comfortably walk away at any time. I have more suggestions, but that's another blog. :-)One of the easiest and best ways to avoid painful and unfulfilling emotional attachments is to avoid sex until after marriage. By then, you should have a good and objective view of the kind of mate your partner would make and you can make a much more rational decision about whether or not to continue to marriage. If you don't, chances increase exponentially that you will stay in a bad relationship far longer than you need to and you'll tolerate conditions that sap your soul for no other reason than the sexual connection.Speaking the truth in love,Deidre

Why Do So Many Men Like Porn?

Posted by Deidre Logan on December 15, 2008 at 11:47pm

Lessons For WomenWomen have wondered forever what it is about porn that mesmerizes so many men. Some of us have tried to participate with our partners only to find ourselves feeling like Hell afterwards. Others of us have found ways to make it part of our sexual lexicon with mixed results.Let's face it. Outside of the industry, it is difficult at best for a couple to comfortably fit porn into their relationship. Men, on the other hand, generally have no problem keeping as part of their lives for their entire lives - whether they hide it or not. It is a very popular source of entertainment, sexual gratification, and oftentimes - a coping mechanism.The reasons men like it are as varied as the men who like it. However, there is one thing I discovered in my own research that is a recurring theme. Men thoroughly enjoy the attitudes of the women involved. The women are generally average looking. Most times, they are not extraordinarily beautiful the way many of us imagine. However, they do appear to thoroughly enjoy sex for the sake of sex. They act like they enjoy everything about the sexual experience.This is a valuable insight that women would do well to find a way to incorporate into their real life encounters. Men don't need you to be a sexual pretzel. They don't need tricks out of the ordinary to be satisfied. What they do need is to feel desired - sexually and totally. Men crave approval and acceptance at least as much as women do. They have different ways of showing it, but it's true.Bottom line - men want us to want them as much as they want us. They want us to surrender ourselves to the ecstasy they create for us. They don't want us to be controlled and conservative. They want us uninhibited and free (without a salary or a script)!!!!Here's what I suggest - enthusiasm! Show it. Don't hide it. Don't pretend. Be creative and inventive without violating your sensibilities. You'll probably surprise yourself with the things you come up with. Experiment, play, enjoy. But here's one thing you should never do - never do anything that you both can't agree on. Force and coercion should have no place in intimate exchanges. Other than that, be open (no pun intended - smile) and leave no doubt in your man's mind that you are excited about sharing yourself with him. You won't regret it.Speaking the truth in love,Deidre

Do I Have To Forget To Forgive?

Posted by Deidre Logan on December 15, 2008 at 11:45pm

Amnesia is Impossible. Now What?Hurt feelings happen. Pain is a fact of life. Get used to it. It's not going anywhere. Create a strategy for dealing with it right now and spare yourself years and years of needless pain.The good news is hurt feelings are not fatal. You don't have to die from your pain. Pain doesn't have to be a lifestyle. Contentment and happiness can be made in spite of it. The real question is, are you willing to do what it takes to have contentment and happiness anyway?Maintaining a lasting relationship is impossible if you expect that your partner would not disappoint you if they truly loved you. Proximity alone makes this absolutely impossible. The mistake here is the "my feelings are hurt = my partner doesn't love me" assumption. News flash: the world doesn't revolve around your feelings. That's good news. It puts the control back where it should have been all along - in your hands.You can be right or you can be in relationship. When you're really fortunate, you can be both. But there are times when you will have to choose. Here's something to keep in mind: forcing "right" makes you an enemy to your partner. How excited would you really be to be sleeping with your enemy? Don't set yourself up for the failure.Listen, I understand that some things can, and should, not be negotiated. I'm not talking about those things. I'm talking about times when your pride becomes more important than fostering the kind of trust that creates the safety that makes true intimacy possible in any relationship. There will be more than enough situations in your partnership that will tend to divide you. If there's room to forgive, take it at every available opportunity. I promise you that you will soon be the one who needs the favor in return.You will not get amnesia. If that's what it takes for you, then you've got much bigger relationship issues. Forgiveness isn't about forgetting. It's about making a conscious decision not to continue to hold an offense against someone. It is to know what the wrong was and to give up your "right" to revenge and retribution. To forgive, is to be willing to value your relationship above your feelings.It's a tall order. Accept that your partner is not purposely trying to hurt you. Take responsibility for your own feelings and stop unfairly burdening the one you love. You will find that your relationship will improve right away.Speaking the truth in love,Deidre

Love Is A Choice - NOT An Emotion

Posted by Deidre Logan on December 15, 2008 at 11:43pm

Like most people, I have often heard the all-too-common refrains, "you can't help who you love", "it just happened", or "one thing led to another". Most often, I hear this from women who are attempting to justify their ill-advised involvement in some situation that has come back to bite them in the behind.Ladies, I'm about to set you free!! None of these assessments is accurate. The truth is - you absolutely, unequivocally "help" who you love; it did not just happen; and one thing did not lead to another. You either made it happen or you allowed it to happen. Now, you're free because either way, the situation is in your control. For purposes of this entry, however, I will focus on the 'who you love' issue as it concerns unhealthy romantic love.Contrary to popular opinion, love is not accidental, incidental, or happenstance. It isn't random, arbitrary, or evolutionary. It happens by the sheer force of two independent wills focused in the same direction. It happens because the two people involved wanted it to happen, and have usually expended considerable effort to make sure that it did happen. Love is not a hole in the sidewalk waiting for you to blindly fall into it. Love is the by product of mental and physical time and effort deliberately put forth to create and continue feelings of infatuation and romance.We've all seen the situations where people have gotten involved in emotional and/or physical intimacies with someone they were "just friends" with. The usual protests go something like "I don't know how it happened", "I never intended for it to happen", or "I couldn't help myself". The facts are that these relationships never just happen. They occur after days, weeks, and months of finding big and small ways to perpetuate the ectasy of illicit attraction.That fact alone begs the question, is it really love you've created? You might think it is. Your partner may even agree. The truth is you've created a fantasy that can only survive in the bubble of the manipulated realities you've invented. That's why the magic dies under the stresses and strains of real life. No longer able to shield your "love" from the side effects and consequences of real life, you usually soon find that your "love" fades.In short, true love is a series of choices that you get emotional about. It is not merely an emotion or a feeling that you just helplessly fall into like a hole in the sidewalk. True love is deliberate. It lasts, not because of how you feel about eachother - but because of your dedication to your commitment to eachother.Speaking the truth in love,Deidre

Note: this page contains paid content.

Note: this page contains paid content.

Note: this page contains paid content.

Note: this page contains paid content.