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Marriage #15

Posted by Di Jones on March 12, 2013 at 3:00am

Love between two people

Commitment between two people

Two people becoming one

How do I know if I am married or not?

Is marriage when two have united through their hearts;

With God as their witness?

Is Marriage when two people have a piece of paper, saying they are married?

What is marriage? There are many who would question this due to questions surrounding gay marriage. I have another reason to question this. Mine is very personal. Mine has religious as well as legal ramifications.

This is my religious dilemma:

When I married I insisted on getting married in a church because this was something I believed strongly in. When I married I took my vows very seriously. The circumstances surrounding my marriage were a bit unusual and this added to the strong beliefs behind my marriage. I had known my husband for only a month and a half via phone conversations. I flew to St Louis to meet him and we got married the same day. We knew, in our hearts, that God had brought us together. Due to my past, I prayed from the moment I stepped off the airplane, while standing in line at the court and up until the time I said “I DO” at the church. I prayed that God would watch over us and I asked to be led to do God’s will; if this was his will that he would bless us in this marriage ceremony. I prayed and I prayed and we were married. I went into this marriage knowing that I made my vows with God as my witness. I believed in my vows till death do us part. I believed in my vows for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer…….I believed and I promised to fulfill these vows.

Do these vows hold true In God’s eyes if my marriage was filled with abuse and adultery against me?

Do these vows hold true if the marriage was not valid in a legal sense?

No one can ever imagine or guess the events that will happen in their life. No one can be prepared for every twist and turn life offers. Shortly after my marriage I learned that my husband was a crack addict. I learned this through the trials my life was faced with. The addiction caused my husband to do many things that are totally against what the Bible says a marriage should be. My husband became abusive; physically, emotionally and verbally. My husband stole from me to pay for his addiction. My husband cheated on me on a regular basis with prostitutes. These are all things that the Bible talks against. Adultery and abuse are both reasons for divorce. The Bible talks about not associating with people like this. The Bible says a person who commits adultery will not be accepted into the kingdom of heaven. The Bible says if you commit adultery you ruin your life. The Bible says very specifically what love is and there is no way that the things my husband did to me would be considered love. And yet, the Bible also says a wife is to submit to her husband. The Bible says we are to forgive 70 X’s 7 times. I believe in God’s word…I believe I am to strive to be as Jesus was. If someone asks for forgiveness and forgives others as he would want to be forgiven; if someone repents and accepts Jesus into his life; if that someone is born again as a new creature of God, do all his past sins matter? Should they matter to anyone if God has forgiven and Only God can judge?

My dilemma is compounded by legal matters.

I have been married for four years now. Even through all the trials, we have tried to work together. Out of nowhere I receive a call from my husband’s first wife. They are not divorced….which means I am not married…or am I? Does it make a difference that he was not a husband to me even when we believed ourselves to be married? Does it make a difference that my husband has asked God for forgiveness and I truly believe that God will judge me to the same extend I judge others? In my mind, I must forgive and not judge my husband just as I would ask God (and my husband) to forgive me. I am not married legally, however, the question remains………am I married in God’s eyes?

When I said my vows to my husband, I said them believing them to be true and from my heart.

Marriage; a covenant

In God's house with God as our witness.

Marriage; with vows

between us two, from our hearts with God's blessings.

Are we married in Christ

under God's Rule

Sisters Taking Ownership of Community & Kulture Invites BBWO

Posted by Beverly Campbell on June 8, 2010 at 12:00pm

We openly invite all of our BBWO Members. We are here to promote and give u a platform to tell the world what you have to offer. Black Business Women Online have been such a blessing to me over the years. I would like to do whatever it is to give back to any of my Sista's who wish to participate. Contact me via email or inbox(BBWO) 1 Love...

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/sisterstakingownershipck

sisterstakingownershipck@yahoo.com

Beverly Campbell

EbonyRoyal Apparel

Is Buying from Black Owned Businesses an inconvenience for you?

Posted by Darlene on May 30, 2010 at 11:00pm

We live in a world of convenience. It is really easy to buy from Black people, but it is easier for most of us NOT to buy from Black people. It is easier to say I got bad customer service at the Black owned store and never return. But when we get bad customer service from a store owned by someone of another race, why do we keep going back and spending our money with them? That is a HUGE problem. It has been so convenient to drive to the mall or the super center where you have thousands of products to make a selection. Even when some of these products have proven to be a health risk to people of color!

Just think of it this way, itis easier or more convenient to drive one mile to go buy junk food. But it is better for you to drive 15 miles to the Black all natural health food store for your cereal, rice, fruits and vegetables. So just because it is easier to go down the street to buy from the Asian hair care store than to drive 20 minutes to buy from the little Black hair care store... which one is the right thing to do for OUR community, even if it costs a few dollars more on gas and product? There are over one million Black owned businesses in this country, but unfortunately we spend 95% of our income outside of our community.

Have youever asked yourself why there are so many commercials with Black actors that are targeted to the Black consumer. You might have thought, Wow! This company must really care about Black people to
have this type of commercial. Or you see major bank like Wells Fargo sponsoring a huge music event with top Black entertainers. Or a panel like Tavis Smiley's State of the Black Union. Well think again. McDonald's became so convenient for us, we started eating breakfast, lunch and dinner and now have the highest obesity rates ever! Wells Fargo was one of the worse companies in this country who put Black people into horrible loans. It was if they designed these loans for the Black home owner to fail after 3-5 yrs. Some were put into
interest only loans, some were put into adjustable rate loans that after the “teaser” period was over, the interest rate could adjust up every six months until it reached 15%! So I believe one of the purposes of sponsoring the events is to get more Black consumers to patronize their products/services, and for no other reason. So why
do we put so much faith into companies like these that continue to rip us off, than in our own Black owned businesses?

I worked over 20 years in broadcasttelevision working with consumer market research. Main stream advertisers continue to spend millions of dollars to find out where Black people spend and how often they spend. There are thousands of data bases with information on what TV shows we watch, what radio shows we listen to and what newspapers and magazines we read. So that these corporations can customize their advertisements to entice us to buy their products. Knowing that as a race we currently spend about $900 billion dollars as consumers... who wouldn't want a piece of that kind of money. Isn't it sad that our highly spiritual people would rather go for convenience rather than the principle of doing the right thing. This is THE same thing that Marcus Garvey, Dr. King and Malcolm X spoke about. We MUST buy from our own people because it not only is the right thing to do, it is the only way for us to rebuild our communities, with thriving Black businesses and give our children more role models that are business minded in nature.

Lookat how many businesses Marcus Garvey built between 1916-1920. Do you realize what he really created? He created communities with Black people organized with their own self-sufficient economic resources. Grocery stores, laundries, hotels, clothing shops, every kind of biz for Black people. I believe desegregation lead to the downfall of Black businesses for decades!

Fast forward from 1920 to theyear 2008, millions of us pulled together as a people and registered to vote in numbers that were staggered the imagination, so that we could vote for a Black as President. So why can't we come together on creating our own economy by recycling our dollars back into our own communities by buying from more Black owned businesses just like the Jewish and Asian communities do? How long are we going to let other ethnic groups set up shop in our communities and take that money back to their neighborhoods to spend with their own people? We are probably the only ethnic group in this country that DOES NOT support
each other on a wide scale economic basis. (Excluding the brothers and sisters in the Nation of Islam.)

So how long are YOUgoing to keep doing what is convenient... instead of doing the right thing for you and your community? Especially when we have brothers and sisters who make high-quality products that are made specifically for OUR skin, OUR hair, OUR body types, etc. I really want to know what you think.

Darlene Robinson

Independent Marketer

TAG Team Marketing, International, Inc.

www.BlackBusinessNetwork.com/TeamDollar

black, business, support, community, unity, culture, black-owned

Happy Holidays/Time to show support for Black Owned Businesses this season.

Posted by Darlene on November 27, 2009 at 2:30pm

May this be the best holiday season for you and your family. I hope I can count on you to shift at least $20 to a Black Owned Business this holiday season to share your blessings and show your love and support.Check out the Barack Obama figurine, African History/Kemet Timeline Poster, handmade soaps, all-natural bath/body, books, art, CDs/DVDs, Diverse Super Hero Collection, and so much more!

www.BlackBusinessNetwork.com/TeamDollarDarlene Robinson

Let's rally around the Buy Black Friday: Meet The Andersons, founders of the “Empowerment Experiment.”

Posted by Darlene on August 3, 2009 at 12:30am

Buy Black Friday: Meet The Andersons, founders of the “Empowerment Experiment.” Come be a part of this historical event if you live in the Atlanta area. Maggie Anderson is our modern day Rosa Parks in the sense that “she took a stand because she was tired” of watching her money leave her community. Wouldn’t you like to say you and your family were apart of this historical journey? Join the Black Business Network today as a general member/consumer to show your support for this cause right now. Find out about more Black businesses that you can support. Hear powerful presentations, have fun, be inspired and empowered like never before. Let’s work together to change the way Black Consumers spend with Black Businesses. REGISTER NOW at www.BlackBusinessNetwork.com/TeamDollar while space is still available. Please let them know that Darlene Robinson invited you.

What are you looking to accomplish within your business!

Posted by Freedompeople Magazine on June 22, 2009 at 11:39pm

FREEDOMPEOPLE Magazine was created to elevate and inspire. We have focused our mission on doing what is best for people to try to enrich the life's of each of our readers and all people in the urban communities, by providing a excellent publication that is greatly needed in the coming days. Many forget what entertainment means, when it is just that: Entertainment. What you spend most of your days listening to or watching on TV. But what's on TV is just that; Reality TV, NOT Your reality.FREEDOMPEOPLE Magazine will be a very valuable influence in the world because we can relate more to our reader's then what they see on TV or read in other magazines therefore, our reader's will trust in what we provide to them in each and every issue! We know that by providing our readers with the necessity of knowledge they need; they will become better human beings with a better, clearer conscious of the "Real Picture" so to speak. We have focused our vision in, FREEDOMPEOPLE Magazine, to teach our readers what we think is the best "entertainment" for our community and our younger generation growing up in the world!Please visit our website and SUBSCRIBE!

In Denial Of Self Denial!

Posted by Pastor Aminata on August 24, 2008 at 7:31pm

Wow I constantly meet christians who are so caught up in this prosperity ring. That's what I call it, a ring, because it appears that more and more, people forget that the Lord requires something from us, as opposed to us expecting something from Him. After all, did not Jesus pay it all on the cross? Did not Jesus, shed his blood for the remission of our sins? Are we not the benefactors of such a supreme sacrifice!

You would think that the bible was all about prosperity. Now don't get me wrong, I ain't hatein on anyone, just sad to know that the true meaning of the Gospel has been replaced with a psuedo gospel of "let me get mine" and "God's gonna do it for me too!"

But what about when Jesus asked us, if anyone would be my disciple, let him deny self, put away his own selfish ambitions.... how does that line up with all this prosperity teaching today? I know I'm probably gonna be a lone voice on this one.

Pastor Aminata

How Many Missed Opportunities?

Posted by Pastor Aminata on August 19, 2008 at 9:55pm

How many missed opportunities did you have today? Umm? How many times did you missed a chance to be about your Father's business today? Umm? In our fast-paced, busy, busy, daily please move out of my way, cause I've got-to-get-things-done-ness, we often times forget that we are to be about our Father's business, in the midst of the no see-ums.What about when you were standing on the check out line in the department store, and you saw that mother struggling with her young child who was having a serious temper tantrum? Did you say a pray for that mother, or did you watch in judgement?What about when you were stuck in that traffic jam on the highway, and when the traffic finally started to move again, you passed by that accident, and saw the ambulance and fire trucks? Did you say a prayer for who ever was in the cars, or did you just drive by relived that the traffic was moving again?How about when you were at the ATM waiting for your turn and someone was yelling at the elderly lady who was a bit confused on how to use the ATM? Did you say a prayer for both the yeller and the one being yelled at, or did you suck your teeth in insensitivity?What about the time you saw that woman walking down the street, crying? Did you say a prayer on her behalf, or did you shrug it off as mere curiosity? These are just a few examples of the many no see-ums we experience in our daily lives. We see them, but we don't see them because there is no emotional connection, so we just move on.But these are precious opportunities to be about our Father's business. Opportunities to be ambassador for Christ. True, nobody will know that you said a prayer, nobody will say thank you, nobody will praise you, that is except God. God knows all and sees all and God is the one who will reward you for being about His business today.John 14:14 - "If you ask anything in my name, I will do it."Pastor Aminata

On Any Typical Day.. or Is There Such A Thing?

Posted by Pastor Aminata on August 13, 2008 at 5:41pm

On any typical day... or is there such a thing.... ?You woke up late this morning, rushing to get out of the house, to catch the 7:15 express bus, only to find that you left your metro card in your other bag, and you don't have enough change for the bus. Finally at work, with frowns abouding from them to you and you back to them, your told that you have 3 minutes until the staff meeting begins, and your expected to make a presentation, agrh. So why today does a cup of coffee decide to spill over into your lap?Wrinkled and stained, you do what you gotta do, anyways.... the rest of the day is typical, or is there such a thing... ? Feeling like an octupus out on the skating rink, you handle it all, phone calls, requests, emails, yadder, yadder, just a typical day.... or is there such a thing?Another day's journey and I'm so glad... well at least it's almost over. On your way home you remember that you promised the kids... ah... mind goes blank, seems like there always a promised due lately, anyways, so why isn't the express bus showing up? It just darned on you that you've been standing there for over 40 minutes and out of the blue a thunderstorm comes, and so where is your umbrella? It's home, watching the weather channel.With key in hand, you approached your home, wet, no soaked, tired, no beat, no exhausted, you prepared yourself for round two with the spouse and kids, on this typical day... or is there such a thing? No matter because whatever you go through, on any typical day, which really isn't so typical at all, you know that you have God's Word, His precious promises to encourage you and strengthen you.Neh 8:10 - And Nehemiah continued, "Go and celebrate with a feast of choice foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don't be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!Pastor Aminata

Your ~ Mother's Love!

Posted by Debra P. Declouet on July 11, 2008 at 4:32am

Tears and hugs, intimate talks about loveFuture endeavors and all that we treasureHopes and dreams that we prayed would come trueThat's only a portion of what I've shared with you.Aspirations shared through conversationsAs I poured out my very heart,And you listened intently, and smiled gentlyAnd took your own turn to share your thoughts.You've always seen the best in me and you've covered me in your prayers.And the thing that blessed me most of all is... no matter what you've always been there.You helped me through my lowest points, when even I detested my actions,And we praised God through my roughest times; not giving the enemy any satisfaction.I got saved with you that special night, over 11 years ago, I recall.What a blessed event that followed ~ the lowest point that I could fall.Mother, you mean so much more than these words can express,When I think back over our relationship ~ I see, it was you who loved me best.And I pray to God that I've returned the favor,For acceptance of souls is what we all long for and dear one, that is what I savor.You see, I've been in your family 17 years now;And you've accepted and loved me through it all somehowIn a way I know only to be ChristTo be my mother and friend, you've sacrificed-And I don't take it lightly, this bond that we shareAnd my promise to you is ... I will always be there.I'll hold your hand until the very end.When a new life in Christ one shall begin.I will cherish you always; your laughter, your love, your wisdom, your hopes and desires.Remembering always the times that God has allowed us to seeAnd the love that you've so generously given to me.You've enriched my life, you are my family;Thank you for all that you've taughtAnd for sharing with me your grand heart.Momma, I can't imagine my life without youAnd I pray that we've many more years.However, today I am sharing my heart and I'm making it crystal clear.I love you more than you'll ever knowMore than my actions and these few words could showAnd I know that you'll always be nearBut, I'm giving you your flowers while you're still here.And I am eternally grateful to God ~ for sending me blessings from above.For He brought you into my lifeSo, I can experience YOUR MOTHER'S LOVE!_____________________________________________________________Abridged Version---Originally Presented: IN HONOR of YOUR MOTHER's LOVE ~ Birthday 2006IN LOVING MEMORY of Mrs. ANITA (TEE TAH) JONES (Ex-mother-in-law)Passed OVER on July 7, 2008

God's Love (1st person; God speaking)

Posted by Debra P. Declouet on June 23, 2008 at 3:42am

When I think of you I smile, just want your attention for a whileAs I share with you my heart, so that you may do your partAnd succeed in all I've called you to do.I want you to know that I'm depending on you,For you were created in my image.Yes, when you see you, you see me.Now let me share with you my character, and my hope for our family.I long for creation to love each other,Love your fathers and your mothersLoving your neighbors as yourselves,As with your sisters and your brothersAdopt the Spirit of Love, you seeOf faith, of hope and tenacityAnd then you will walk like me.With an ability to know and a capacity to showWhat it means to love another deeply.You must learn to give, for you will never beat me givingAnd help others in need in this life that you are living.Respect each others minds, be patient and kindAnd live in peace with others not quite like youFor in this, you do what's been commanded of you.You see, my thoughts are for the lostI want to tap into their heartsYou are my children, my heirs; I call you friendI am your Father and I'm here until the end.Forever teaching, leading and guiding you.Directing each step along the wayAnd with all this love that I am faithfully providingIt is my belief that you will never stray.So now, here's my planI need you to extend your hands and lovingly lead others to ChristAnd as our family is enlargedI can give others the charge, for I would that you all be freeAnd in Christ, live this life in Victory.Love was the commandment you were left withAnd my dear ones Love is truly the keyFor love for yourselves and of othersIs how you are connected to me.I loved you first and I love you bestBut now I put you to the test.To walk in this newness of life.Walk holy and righteous, free from sinIn peace and joy, for my Spirit lives with.You've a direct connection to me and when you seek me sincerely, you'll seeThat in love I have covered you, now you can cover others tooYou can live abundantly in this life,Live in humility, not in strifeFor I have loved you all the same and I call each of you by nameYou are the fruit of my lips, my offspring and true obedience, I expect you to bring.For to look like me IS to do what I doAnd to love everyone is what I'm calling you to.As you imitate me, this world is able to seeThat Love is my powerful gift,For truly to love is DIVINEAnd when given in Truth, it'll last a lifetime.So, in closing I'll just say,"Stay in the WORD and always prayFor love is closer to you than it may seem;It's in your hearts and in your minds, it's in your dreamsAnd in case you haven't known, I hope this time with me has shownThat the heritage of Christ still lives onFor Calvary is not where it ends.Quite the contrary, it's where it beginsYou've a direct command from HIM to love one another until the end.When HE comes back in all of HIS glory, that event shall mark the end of this story,For eternally with Him, You shall beFor indeed, it is YOU who completes our family tree."Oh, how wondrous is our Family AboveAnd it all began with GOD and HIS infinite LOVE.Copyright 2006, Debra Poole Declouet

I Am..."A Reflection of YOU"!

Posted by Debra P. Declouet on June 22, 2008 at 11:55pm

Sister…Don’t hate me because I AM beautiful;For I AM truly a reflection of youThe same beauty you see when you gaze upon me,Permeates within you, too.Don’t despise me because I AM intelligent.For Infinite Wisdom is yours too, to receive.All you’ve to do is ask Our Father in faith,And in your heart you must truly believe,Your mind HAS the capacity to conceive.Don’t revile me because I have style;Flair and expression, all my own:From my clothing and my hair, to the make-up I wear and even my poetic tone.For from my appearance, to my height and the Words I recite;To the depth in which the poetry flows ~I stand willing to glorify God in it all;With every gift that He’s blessed me to receive.So Sister…Don’t condemn me for all that I Am;Neither, loathe me for all that I do.For this Life I live as an example of GodAnd His Favor that is available to you.So, walk in your gifts and your talentsThose abilities given uniquely to you.For to Glorify God and His Kingdom, we must do what He’s chosen us to.‘Cause, we are truly one Father’s children,Our resemblances should ALL be of HIM.And the glow that you see when you look upon meIs HIS goodness that lights me within.Yes, I shine as a mirror, reflecting His grace;God is Alive in me and His glory I embraceAnd Sister…That is why I Am a reflection of you,I can CLEARLY see God Alive in you, too.Poet: Debra DP DeclouetWritten for Women of Destiny “P-MTP” ™ © June 2008

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Note: this page contains paid content.

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Note: this page contains paid content.