selfimprovement (3)

How Much Do You Believe In Yourself?

 

Be careful what you believe because that is what you will experience. Your belief system is a mechanism which is uniquely yours. It is powered by your desire and controlled by your thoughts and actions. In other words, your success is measured by the strength of your belief.


What is it that you desire? Often people do not have a clue what it is they want, they just know what they do not want. Now is a good time to evaluate your goals and determine the end result you want to achieve. Put your goals in writing and place them where you can see them throughout the day. Read them frequently to keep them fresh on your mind.


Be inquisitive. Research and learn as much as you can on how you can achieve your goal. Use all possible resources such as books, CDs, courses and people. Yes, people. Talk to as many people as possible who are already successful in what you want to achieve. Ask, ask and ask some more about what they did to reach success. Do not limit your contacts to only the people you already know.

 

Introduce yourself by phone or mail, explain your purpose for contacting them and ask for a tip. The worst thing that can happen is that they ignore you. The best thing that can happen is that they become your mentor and offer support and encouragement. Chances are you will receive at least one great tip from many of the people you contact. This method is the least expensive and most rewarding.


Be unique. Next, take the ideas you learn, embellish them and come up with your own creative process. Think of how you can approach your goal in a way that no one else has. Dare to be different. Don’t be afraid to take risks. What do you have to loose? Write out a list showing the worst things that could happen and then list all of the best possible outcomes. Always maintain your concentration on your desired result.


Be better than your competition. When you were a child and saw your older siblings or friends riding a bike (without training wheels), you didn’t look at their scraped knees and elbows and say, “Whoa, I could get hurt doing that.” Instead, you begged to try it for yourself. With a great deal of practice and often pain, you gradually learned how to maintain your balance.

 

Before long you were trying to “out do” your friends with your speed or fancy tricks. When you fell, you would get back on and try again with even greater determination. From your very first effort, you believed in your mind that if you got back on, you would eventually learn to ride. I bet you even knew in your mind you would be the best in the neighborhood, in your school, in the state, in the world!


Be positive. If you see obstacles before you, then you will also only see problems. If you have hesitations that you plan will not work, then it will not work. If you are influenced by the power of  negative people, then you will never be any better than they are. Believe in yourself and what you are capable of achieving.   

 

When your desire to succeed is stronger than the pain, fear or frustration of failing, there is no turning back. I challenge you to view your goals just like you did when you were a child before you learned about self doubt and negative criticism. Remember, anything is possible as long as you believe. Make a commitment that you will not let anything or anyone, including yourself stand in your way of reaching your goals.

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You are great!



One of the most well known confidence building exercises is to list your own strengths and natural abilities.

By looking at the list it can make you say “Wow, I really am good!”

Another great way of building your confidence and getting in touch with how great you really are is to ask friends, colleagues and people who you know for feedback on your strengths and natural abilities.

Your practical assignment is to list 5 people who you know and trust for this exercise.

Make sure they are from different areas of your life.

List them below:

1.    A FAMILY MEMBER



2.    A FRIEND



3.    A WORK COLLEAGUE



4.    AN ASSOCIATE



5.    A SOCIAL CONTACT


You might at this stage be feeling a little nervous about asking these people for feedback.

Don’t worry, because you will be only asking for your strengths.

JUST GO FOR IT!

So, how do you go about it?

Well, below is a list of questions that I’d like you to ask to each of your list.

I recommend that you meet or talk on the phone with each beforehand and explain the context of the exercise and then either ask them verbally or give them the questions and either fill in the sheet of paper or email you with their feedback.

They will feel honored that you have asked them and the feedback that you will receive will truly make you feel fabulous and full of confidence.

Rightly or wrongly, we live in a society where other peoples’ opinions count to our self esteem and confidence.

By completing this exercise you will get some really good insight into some of your strengths.

Often you receive valuable information on the strengths that you didn’t even know you had!

EXTERNAL FEEDBACK QUESTIONS


•    What do you perceive to be my greatest strengths?


•    What do you like most about me?


•    What do you value most about me?


•    What three words sum up the positive points about me?


•    If you needed help with something, what would you call me to help you with?



After you have received all of the feedback it is now time to reflect on what has been written or said:

How do you feel about it?


Are there any surprises?


Do you feel confident about your abilities?


How can you use this information going forward?


How can you maximize your strengths?


If these people think you have these strengths, so do a lot of other people as well – how does that make you feel?


What are the key insights you have learned?


What will you do now that is different to what you have done before?



Have a great week!

Cheers,

Charlotte









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10744057671?profile=originalWhat Love Has to Do With It!The Importance of Unconditional Love in A Relationship!By Kamal Imani © 2010My wife and I have been happily married for 15 years and together for 19. Much of our success can be attributed to a book we read entitled “Black Woman’s Black Man’s Guide to a Spiritual Union” by Ra Un Nefer Amen. In this book he speaks about the importance of unconditional love. He also highlighted how we have a script or sort of fantasy like picture in our minds of the perfect or ideal lover or mate and when that person doesn’t meet our expectations, we feel let down, disappointed, the drama begins and things begin to fall apart.When our partner fails to perform up to our Hollywood or conditioned standard financially, sexually, emotionally or otherwise, maybe they didn’t cook, clean, communicate or perform the way that we envisioned it, we allow dissatisfaction to set in.Have Realistic Expectations but High standardsWhen getting to know your significant other, you need to be real when it comes to acknowledging his/her strengths and weaknesses. You also need to realize that peoples long developed habits are slow to change. If you’re hoping that something he/she does will change simply because you have entered their life, you may be disappointed. Some changes can be made if it’s clearly communicated, understood and your partner makes a conscious effort to change, but be very patient because it will probably be a slow and gradual process. I’m not saying that you should lower your standards, but have you ever heard the term wysiwyg? It is an acronym for what you see is what you get. And, you know while you’re dating you’re getting a persons best side, and as the saying goes “You don’t know a person until you live with them”. So keep it real, but stay optimistic, patient and keep the faith. Always keep a spiritual vibration in your relationship.Unconditional LoveUnconditional love is giving of your self without expecting anything in return. It is being selfless! If you’re giving and taking is like a Wall Street financial transaction, sometimes you will rise, other times you will be in a recession, a depression and eventually a crash! So it is important for both partners to practice selfless giving with out making the other partner feel that he/she owes you something.When unexpected financial, medical and other emergencies arise, you will have to be flexible, calm and optimistic until the situation improves (because you will be tested). Always find a creative way to communicate, be understanding, stay affectionate, optimistic, patient and faithful…Did I say patient? Selfless giving/unconditional love is a high form of practical spirituality and it takes two to apply it. It indeed takes two to make a thing go right.Watch Kamal’s tribute to the sisters “Ms. Melanin” on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aledyuIlCjsKamal Imani is a Poet, Author, Film Maker Teacher and Mentor residing in New Jersey. He can be reached at http://www.kamalinspires.com To book Kamal for speaking engagements email Terrenceteaches@gmail.com or call 201-923-9213
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