I hear this question so often from women who are feeling exhausted, neglected, and overwhelmed in their romantic relationships. They are struggling with the decision to stay or leave a relationship they feel has lost its appeal. They are unhappy and truly have no idea what their next step should be.
It is very sad because, my married ones or clients in long-term relationships are wondering if they will ever feel love again and my single clients (usually newly single) wonder if they will ever find love again. (FYI - my typical client is 40 to 48 years old women, with children in their teens to early 20's, and she is or has been in a long-term relationship that has lasted 10 years or longer.)
Does this sound like your current situation? If so, tell me:
- Do you long for days gone by when you and your beloved were still happy and deeply in love with each other?
- When was the last time your beloved treated you with adoration and affection?
- Are arguments becoming the main style of communication between the two of you?
Well, if you are at your “wits” end about what to do next in your relationship and are thinking… “Should I stay or should I leave?” I want you to stop for a moment and think very carefully about what I am about to share with you; being single will not solve the communication and intimacy issues you are experiencing. It may offer some temporary relief. But, the personal underlying communication issues that caused the disconnect will still remain. Even if you move on to another relationship.
And if you are single and reading this article, I want you to think back to your last relationship and think about how the lack of communication and previous questions played out in your last meaningful relationship. Did they have something to do with why you left?
As a relationship solutions coach, I talk to many frustrated women. Especially ladies who are suffering from regrets about past decisions they made in the process of maturing into the woman they are today. It is tough to look back over your life and realize you may not have fulfilled some or any of the goals you set for yourself as a younger woman.
You may have made a multitude of decisions that now feel like sacrifices for your children and significant other (husband or long-term boyfriend). And now, you may be working on life improvements and want to remove yourself from what feels like a life-draining situation. I have noticed so many women, who in the process of working on self-improvement, want to discard their man.
I personally think this is unfair unless, you have a man who truly does mistreat you.
- He is abusive
- An active addict or alcoholic whose behavior is destructive
- Or has other qualities that can potentially harm you; emotionally, mentally, physically, and/or spiritually.
If this is true then, I recommend you seek help and remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible. You cannot help someone who is unwilling to help themselves. But, if you are basically using your man as a scapegoat for all the unexpressed unhappiness you are currently feeling in your life then, I want you to carefully read what I am about to say..
Far too many women have left a truly wonderful man and solid loving relationship because, her uncommunicated needs were going unmet and she did not truly understand how to invite her man back into her life to assist her. Why, because, she had emotionally disconnected from him and in her frustration started blaming him for being the cause of her dissatisfaction.
This is tragic because, most men do want to be there for the woman they love, but have no idea how to reach her once her walls have gone up and she starts to treat him like a nonessential part of her life.
If this sounds like you then, please understand that things may not be as hopeless as they seem. I would enjoy talking to you in greater detail and show you some ways you can go from “No Love to True Love” once again. Join me for a very special teleconference on: Thursday 4/18/2013 from 6:00 to 7:30p EDT called “No Love to True Love” – Fall in Love All Over Again. Go to: www.redtentwisdom.com and click on the teleseminar page to register and receive call in information.
Or if you are ready for some immediate solutions then, go to: www.redtentwisdom.com and sign up for your 20 minute complimentary Relationship Solutions Session.
Either way I am looking forward to sharing with you some useful information that may turn your relationship in a positive direction or start your next relationship with more confidence.
Have a wonderful day and I am sending you much love and wishing you unlimited joy,
Cyndi Harris, HP
Relationship Solutions Coach; Man Whisperer “Intimacy Creation Savant”