Advice (67)

Do I Have To Forget To Forgive?

Amnesia is Impossible. Now What?Hurt feelings happen. Pain is a fact of life. Get used to it. It's not going anywhere. Create a strategy for dealing with it right now and spare yourself years and years of needless pain.The good news is hurt feelings are not fatal. You don't have to die from your pain. Pain doesn't have to be a lifestyle. Contentment and happiness can be made in spite of it. The real question is, are you willing to do what it takes to have contentment and happiness anyway?Maintaining a lasting relationship is impossible if you expect that your partner would not disappoint you if they truly loved you. Proximity alone makes this absolutely impossible. The mistake here is the "my feelings are hurt = my partner doesn't love me" assumption. News flash: the world doesn't revolve around your feelings. That's good news. It puts the control back where it should have been all along - in your hands.You can be right or you can be in relationship. When you're really fortunate, you can be both. But there are times when you will have to choose. Here's something to keep in mind: forcing "right" makes you an enemy to your partner. How excited would you really be to be sleeping with your enemy? Don't set yourself up for the failure.Listen, I understand that some things can, and should, not be negotiated. I'm not talking about those things. I'm talking about times when your pride becomes more important than fostering the kind of trust that creates the safety that makes true intimacy possible in any relationship. There will be more than enough situations in your partnership that will tend to divide you. If there's room to forgive, take it at every available opportunity. I promise you that you will soon be the one who needs the favor in return.You will not get amnesia. If that's what it takes for you, then you've got much bigger relationship issues. Forgiveness isn't about forgetting. It's about making a conscious decision not to continue to hold an offense against someone. It is to know what the wrong was and to give up your "right" to revenge and retribution. To forgive, is to be willing to value your relationship above your feelings.It's a tall order. Accept that your partner is not purposely trying to hurt you. Take responsibility for your own feelings and stop unfairly burdening the one you love. You will find that your relationship will improve right away.Speaking the truth in love,Deidre
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Love Is A Choice - NOT An Emotion

Like most people, I have often heard the all-too-common refrains, "you can't help who you love", "it just happened", or "one thing led to another". Most often, I hear this from women who are attempting to justify their ill-advised involvement in some situation that has come back to bite them in the behind.Ladies, I'm about to set you free!! None of these assessments is accurate. The truth is - you absolutely, unequivocally "help" who you love; it did not just happen; and one thing did not lead to another. You either made it happen or you allowed it to happen. Now, you're free because either way, the situation is in your control. For purposes of this entry, however, I will focus on the 'who you love' issue as it concerns unhealthy romantic love.Contrary to popular opinion, love is not accidental, incidental, or happenstance. It isn't random, arbitrary, or evolutionary. It happens by the sheer force of two independent wills focused in the same direction. It happens because the two people involved wanted it to happen, and have usually expended considerable effort to make sure that it did happen. Love is not a hole in the sidewalk waiting for you to blindly fall into it. Love is the by product of mental and physical time and effort deliberately put forth to create and continue feelings of infatuation and romance.We've all seen the situations where people have gotten involved in emotional and/or physical intimacies with someone they were "just friends" with. The usual protests go something like "I don't know how it happened", "I never intended for it to happen", or "I couldn't help myself". The facts are that these relationships never just happen. They occur after days, weeks, and months of finding big and small ways to perpetuate the ectasy of illicit attraction.That fact alone begs the question, is it really love you've created? You might think it is. Your partner may even agree. The truth is you've created a fantasy that can only survive in the bubble of the manipulated realities you've invented. That's why the magic dies under the stresses and strains of real life. No longer able to shield your "love" from the side effects and consequences of real life, you usually soon find that your "love" fades.In short, true love is a series of choices that you get emotional about. It is not merely an emotion or a feeling that you just helplessly fall into like a hole in the sidewalk. True love is deliberate. It lasts, not because of how you feel about eachother - but because of your dedication to your commitment to eachother.Speaking the truth in love,Deidre
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Tune in to Strictly Business on BlogTalkRadio.com on Thursday, December 4 at 3:00 PM (EST) to learn about what you can do if you are a business owner or individual struggling to overcome your tax burdens.Stop looking over your shoulder in fear of the IRS! Obtain the knowledge to be proactive in finding solutions to break free from the crushing burden of financial woe.Michael Rozbruch, founder and CEO of Tax Resolution Services, one of the nation’s leading experts on solving individual and small business IRS tax problem, will be discussing some insider secrets of tax relief with Strictly Business host Anna Banks including important taxpayer rights, how to reduce or avoid IRS penalties and interest, and how to get a fresh start even if you have delinquent tax returns from the past 7 years.Call in with your own IRS tax questions (718) 766-4021.More on Michael Rozbruch and Tax Resolution ServicesMichael Rozbruch is the founder and CEO of Tax Resolution Services and is one of the nation’s leading experts on solving individual and small business IRS tax problems. As a Certified Tax Resolution Specialist (CTRS) and CPA (licensed in the state of Maryland), he has represented thousands of taxpayers who owe the IRS, but simply cannot afford to pay.In the past year alone, Michael has successfully settled hundreds of Offers in Compromise (IRS settlements) usually saving clients 90% of their outstanding tax bill. His success rate is approaching 90% and is one of the highest in the industry. He has saved his clients in excess of $35 million dollars over the past ten years. For further information on Michael Rozbruch and Tax Resolution Services, Co., visit www.TaxResolution.com or call (818) 774-1813.
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Things Happen for a Reason

I’m always a person who believes that things happen for a reason, whether good or bad. I believe that each and every person is destined for great things and that we just have to have faith and seek them out. Sometimes we use all the excuses in the world because of the fear of stepping out and just going after our dream. We believe that we have so much to lose if we do when in reality we have a lot more to lose if we don’t. At times we need that hard push because we neglected the writings on the wall. Well I’m here to say I got my hard push on Friday, when my employer laid me off. At first I was upset because I wasn’t prepared. However, after talking to my family and friends I realized it’s probably going to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. Although I have a sense of worry I’m learning that worry and faith do not go hand in hand. The crazy economic downturn has made me realize that we all need to pay attention and re-prioritize; we need to put our families and ourselves first. I read an article over the weekend called “The Top 10 Reasons to Love a Recession,” and one of them was the chance for business opportunities. What does Disney, HP and Microsoft all have in common? Well, besides for being power player companies, these three companies along with 30 others were all started in economic downturns. Now my question for you is, are you willing to step out on faith?By: Kamilah C.The Pink Lockethttp://thepinklocket.com
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Small Business Tip: Learn Online for FREE!

Did you know that you could take free business courses online, anytime? SCORE is an online resource that more of us should make use of. They were formed in 1964 to offer current or would-be business owners the expertise of experienced businessmen or women. SCORE consists primarily of retired business and professional people, but also includes some still active in a business or profession. As "Counselors to America's Small Business", their purpose is to strengthen existing small businesses and improve the success prospects for startups. While they offer nationwide face to face counseling and advice, classes and training, they also offer free business courses you can take online from the comfort of your home.Try these useful and interesting courses to help your business get started and grow:~ Business Skills Workshops~ Quick start Business Plan~ Assessment tools like "Can You Afford to Start a Business" and "Working Out Your Prices"~ Virtual Learning Center with 26 courses on Starting a Business, Managing Your Finances and Marketing Your Business~ Creating an Online Presence~ Creating a Cash Reserve~ Developing Efficient Systems~ Learn about Technology and eCommerce for your business~ IRS Online ClassroomThere's also a new page on SCORE for Women Entrepreneurs where you can use free interactive tools like Chart My Success where you can track your sales goals, track monthly sales and track goals met. You'll also business mentors, workshops, articles and wealth of other resources.CLICK HERE to visit the virtual classroom. With SCORE, you can organize and run a successful business!Be blessed and feel free to send your questions to khardge@gmail.com.--Ktasha N. Hardge is a Tax Professional and Home Based Business Expert who is establishing herself as a Lifestyle Enhancement Specialist. She is on a journey of financial freedom and time freedom and wants to help others do the same. Visit Hardge Connections, LLC for interactive financial tools and resources that can help you grow personally and professionally. Visit Global Connections Travel to learn about an amazing opportunity that can transform your life as well as finding some of the best travel deals online. Request a free eBrochure or video to your dream destination.
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Women Business Owners, www.womenbizowners.org invites all women to join us on Wednesday, April 23, 2008 at 11 a.m. (Eastern Standard Time) on blogtalkradio.com/wbo-radio. The dial-in phone number is (347) 205-9229. It will prove to be a very entertaining show. Our radio guest will be discussing how she found her "niche" and successes in turning it into a thriving business. Here is some additional information on our guest speaker --Deborrah Cooper (a.k.a "Ms. Heartbeat") is founder and resident advice columnist on AskHeartBeat.com, which is her award winning relationship website. She focuses on black male/female relationships. On her website, she has informative articles on dating and relationships for both adults and teens.As an advice columnist and relationship expert she has also written a book "Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating the The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dysfunction & The Deranged! It provides common sense, street-smart insight into the toughest issues facing singles today.She has been profiled in Black Enterprise and Honey magazines as well as interviewed by Essence magazine.Ms. Cooper has also appeared on Yahoo Internet Life, The Oakland Tribune, The Dallas Morning News, and many other print and online media worldwide. This interview should prove to be quite interesting! Do you need some advice on a relationship??Come listen to Deborrah explain how she turned her passion into a thriving business!
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