Advice (67)

Competition is Nothing


Here are some important things that you should remember about competition:


1) No One is Perfect. Your competition makes mistakes, and runs into problems, issues, and obstacles, just like you do.


2) There’s Room Enough For All Of Us To Be Successful. Don’t believe for one minute that the success of someone else, somehowcompromises your potential to be successful. This is simply not true.


3) What God Has For You, Is For You. No one can take it away from you. It’s all a part of a greater plan and purpose foryour life. No one can steal it from you, and only you can fulfill yourlife’s purpose.


4) Stay focused on your core vision/mission/passion, and you will always stand out from your competition. Why? Because you’re busy being the best that you can be.


If you’re an entrepreneur, and wondering how you can stand out from your competitors, or simply be competitive with companies or individualswho may have more resources than you do, remember these tips:


- Offer High value


-Offer great customer service


-Solve an existing problem


-Offer solutions and/or convenience to your customers in a unique way.


-Be accessible.


Remember, Competition is Nothing.

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Getting Ready to Get Ready

Are you getting ready to get ready?

I’m sure that several of you have heard this expression before. Today was the first time that I used it myself. As soon as the words departed my lips I knew that I needed to take my own advice.

I was speaking to a prospective student over the phone. The woman on the phone, was one that I’d spoken with several times in the last year. Every few months she calls the school, asks when classes will be starting. Sometimes she even makes an appointment to come in and complete some part of the enrollment process. Most times though, she would call back a day or two later with some excuse. “Too busy. I need to look for a part time job. I need to wait until the kids are on vacation. I need to wait until the kids are back in school.” So, this time when I saw her name come up on the caller id on my desk I answered, “Hi, Jane Doe, are still getting ready to get ready?”

We all have something that we keep putting off. Something that could really change our lives if only we could get started. When I started to look at my list of “dreams deferred,” writing was on the top of that list. I have been researching blogs. Reading other people’s blogs downloading ebooks on how to write them, but kept putting it off. I even told myself that I needed to wait until I reviewed some grammar books and I bought a few of those too. But then, the lights came on. I was using the excuses to cover up my fear. I was getting ready to get ready and in the mean time not a single thing was getting done.

STOP GETTING READY TO GET READY!

While you were reading this, your list of excuses probably started to go through your mind. You probably thought of at least 5 things that you’ve been putting off because of fear. The vacation you’ve never taken. That dance class you thought about. The classes you were going to start. The novel you said you’d write. Write them all down. Find the one thing on that list that really scares you. The one with the most “legitimate,” excuses and do that one first.

I did. I finally stopped getting ready to get ready and I started writing this blog.

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How to develop an online brand is arguably the hot topic for many of today's professionals. Not only is it critical for many, if not all, businesses these days to have on online presence, it is also fast becoming the way that career professionals promote their value to either retain a job, advance to higher levels, or transition to another career.

This article will cover 7 frequently asked questions about online brand presence for career professionals. Unlike most other articles and media that refer to social networking and online visibility, this message will address people who are still in a workplace setting and the relevance of getting engaged in the online wave of the future.


FAQs About Online Brand for Career Professionals:

  1. Why do I need an online brand presence when I work for someone else? Competing in today's workforce has been quite a different environment these days. Employers are looking more meticulously and for skilled workers, if they're looking at all. Instead of distributing unnecessary salary dollars to have a recruiter travel to job fairs and collect a pay check all day, thousands of dollars can be saved when recruiting is sourced right from the computer. An article on InternetNews.com by Stuart J. Johnson followed a survey that indicated more than 70% of HR professionals and recruiters rejected job candidates due to what they found online about them. And I suspect that if employers cannot find you at all, they can see your competitor who has a tremendous online profile, and therefore an automatic advantage over you for the position.
  2. How do I get started in creating an online brand presence, especially when I don't have these skills? There are lots and lots of social media experts and online tutorials. Once you have identified your personal brand strategy (perhaps with the help of a career coach specializing in this area), you can better determine what learning needs you have and find the resources to fill these needs.
  3. Everyone has a blog and they're telling me I need one too. What if I'm not really a great writer? Part of your branding strategy should be to determine your communication style. Perhaps, instead of written material, your blog may incorporate audio or something else that suits your preference.
  4. I don't know what to talk about. What if I don't have anything to say? We all know the old saying about opinions...everyone has one! What is a topic that you know very well, are passionate about, and would love to talk about with other people? Is it a topic that could open doors for someone, or make others feel like they have a strong emotional reaction to? Talk about your area of expertise - only you can share it the way you can.
  5. My time is already so stretched. How do I fit in the work to really be visible online? This is another key area of your personal branding strategy - mapping out your time and intended frequency online can be one of the best habits to create right at the start. You actually can devote just 15-20 minutes per day once you have established the ground work. You might also consider outsourcing to a virtual assistant specializing in social media communications.
  6. How do I get people to go see my online resources - e.g. CV/resume, website, blog? You can learn to use any of several different models. What works best for me is using tools like Twitter and Facebook to redirect viewers to links that have my content.
  7. I'm afraid about privacy online. If I put myself out there, I'll be making myself a target for identity theft, right? Great question. I recommend spending time learning how to protect your data online and offline. Just because you don't have an online presence you have deliberately created yet, does not mean someone can't already access your personal information. The federal government actually has a site with some great tools and tips to protect your identity online: onguardonline.gov/">http://www.onguardonline.gov/. This may be a good place to start.
Creating an online presence can launch your career to the next level or set you apart from your competition in a career transition, when it is planned deliberately and with the right resources in place. Spend some time getting to know more about how you can strategically position your career with online branding techniques.


About the Author:
Tanya Smith of Be Promotable helps ambitious professional women share their brand brilliance through a powerful online brand presence. To get instant access to her free special report on how to surefire steps to be promotable stop by and visit http://www.bepromotable.com.

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I must admit that in the past I was a tad judgmental about bloggers. I didn’t get it. Every blog I’d ever read sounded like a journal entry. I would often find myself wondering ,who were these blog people and why do they think that everyone cares about the minute details of their lives?”

Well, my little sister sends these emails every once in awhile. They started back when she was in college. She sends them to her close friends and family, myself included. They just give a brief detail of where she is and what she’s been up to since the last time she wrote. Back when she was studying abroad they included such detail that I started saving them. I thought, “ she’s going to want to look back on these some say, or maybe I will.” They were more than just a catalog of events, but read more like journal posts. Well, She’d written so many of them that I said she should create a blog. Of course, having such an anti-blog attitude, my suggestion was taken with some skepticism.

When I mentioned the idea to my husband, he said that I should write my own blog. I immediately adopted the role of skeptic. What on earth could I possibly have to say? I mean, sure, a can talk for hours, but I am a horrible typist. I have a the grammar of a 4th grader, despite the BA in English, and I haven’t tried to put coherent sentences together since I turned in my thesis 7 years ago. Then it hit me. I stopped writing. Not only had the creative writing stopped, but even my journaling had become sporadic. I used to write every single day. I really miss it, even if I never was very good.

So, I have decided to take my own advice. I’m starting a blog. About what, you may ask… well, about taking my own advice. I spend a great deal of time at work, as part of my business, and in my personal life dishing out advice. Every once in awhile I’ll say something, and immediately think, “wow, I should listen to my own advice.” Then, the moment passes. I forget that brief moment of clarity. It is almost as if by speaking the words aloud the woman or women that I am speaking to physically pluck the thought from my mind, place it in their purses, and leave with it. From this point on I will write down my advice as soon as realize that I’m giving it. Then I will figure out where it fits into my life. I will take action. Then I will post it on the internet. Score one point for narcissism.

This is not to say that I will be blogging every day. It simply means that I’m looking forward to finding out what the outcomes of my own advice may be. Perhaps there will even be a few of you out there who have fallen prey to one of my so called nuggets of wisdom and you want to put your two cents in. That would be great too. Often we have the best of intentions. We make a suggestion and we don’t realize that we have just changed someone’s life forever.

This time I’m going to change my own life. I’m going to take my own advice.

Stay tuned…

Lina Williams, Sexy Lifestyle Advisor

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Anatomy of a Personal Brand Strategy - Part I

Personal brand marketing is a solid career management technique. When you are doing the work to clearly identify your personal brand - or theoverall collection of perceptions that you want others to have aboutyou - it may not be as simple as jotting down a few notes on a memo pad.


Developing a personal brand strategy that describes the irresistible, brilliantyou can take some work, but once you have it, you can apply the piecesto everything you communicate - e.g. resume, interview remarks, onlinemedia, etc.


Below, I will share with you some of the components I used in developing my own brand marketing statement.

Here are the first five concepts to focus on with a brief definition ofeach, and an example taken from my own personal brand library:


  • Objective - what outcome are you trying to achieve for yourself or for your targetaudience (e.g. To develop highly successful, professional women of colorto be competitors for advanced leadership positions.)
  • Core message - the primary mindset that you want anyone who comes in contact withyou to adopt (e.g. You can successfully advance your career when youincrease your brand visibility in a smart, authentic, and consistentway.)
  • Target audience - who do you want to share the message with (e.g. Professional women of color, age 30-55,seeking career advancement, career change, or business start-up.)**Later, we can talk about who the ideal client is for you within thistarget - yes, there is a distinction.
  • Brand Statement - what do you do and who do you work with (e.g., I work with professionalwomen of color seeking career advancement or transitioning into solobusiness. I show them how to develop a brand strategy for their careerthat connects them with their target audience & key influencers.)
  • Unique position - what makes you different than anyone else who does this work (e.g.,My strategy is based on a 60/40 combination of proven career managementtechniques and online brand expertise. I also have a powerhouse networkof branding resources to help my clients implement the plan once the itis put on paper.)

That's all for part one. Think about your answers in each area. If you work on this over the next week, you will have agreat start to developing your brilliant personal brand strategy.

About the Author: Tanya Smith of Be Promotable shows ambitious working professionals howto get the promotion of their dreams. To get instant access to her freespecial report on surefire steps to getting the ideal job promotion stopby and visit http://www.bepromotable.com.

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This was my response to a reporter today who asked about the top 5 tips to get promoted in a tough economy. Thought I'd share them with youin this quick bulleted list.

Top 5 activities I'm sharing with my clients for being promotable right now are:
  1. Tell yourself the truth about your performance and your talents - whatresults can you offer? What has been your track record over the pastyear or so? Take a good hard look at what makes you promotable andask yourself the tough questions before somebody else does.
  2. Get raw, honest-to-goodness feedback from others even if it hurts - onceyou have examined your personal results, find out what kind ofprofessional reputation you've created. Do key players respect yourwork? Will you get the support you need to advance to the next level?What kind of advice can you solicit on the steps required in yourcurrent professional environment?
  3. Be prepared for a "pat on the back" promotion - yes, you might have to recognize that a salaryincrease is just not possible right now in your company. Be open to apromotion with a "head nod" instead of an increase in pay.Ultimately, you can revisit salary once the economy begins to turnaround. Track your results over the coming year so that you canjustify and support an increase once this conversation is open againin your business.
  4. Figure out what your brand is, then market, market, market - this ties back to #1 and 2. What kind of core themesare you known for and what consistent message are you sending aboutyourself? If you have a dynamic brand as a reliable,solution-oriented leader continue to think of ways to enhance thisbrand. Contribute in meetings, be able to speak to how your work isimpacting the bottom line results.Become known for something positiveand relevant in your industry.
  5. Manage your online reputation - since so many employers these days are connected with their employees,prospective candidates, etc. online, it's important that you haveestablished a solid, congruent image. You will want to do thisresponsibly, and remember that it's almost better to have an invisibleonline brand (none at all) than to have a "two-faced' online brand -one where you're Dr. Jekyll at work and Mr. Hyde at play.

Now what do you think about this list & what else should be on it?


About the Author: Tanya Smith of Be Promotable helps ambitious workingprofessionals get the promotion of their dreams. To get instant accessto her free special report on how to surefire steps to get promoted stopby and visit http://www.bepromotable.com/.

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This post originally appeared on the FreeMoneyTactics.com blog, where SistaWAHMs (Tiffany & Tamara) regularly share tips, ideas, and news on leveraging entrepreneurship and frugality for an abundance of life.

What exactly is it that we do, you ask?

In its simplest form, we answer questions and give advice on ways to leverage entrepreneurship and frugality in order to obtain abundance in life.

We answer emails, chats, tweets, comments, you name it.

We are wealthy in the sense that we are giving to those in need and providing value all while doing so for free, but, we must also value our time something that is not in abundance.

The answers we provide to the questions we receive are always detailed, resourceful, and down right good.

Do you find yourself freely sharing advice but wishing you could find a way to monetize your efforts?

If so, you’ll want to read on to see what free tool we found to make this happen!

As the old saying goes, “time is money”, and if you don’t want to waste anymore time or money then you’ll want to consider selling advice over the phone.

Consultants, therapists, stay at home moms, and Internet marketers alike can all benefit from a free online service called Ether.

Ether.com allows you to “sell what you say”.

Before now, the only way to get paid for what you said was done by coordinating teleseminars, webinars, and live events.

Now, Ether gives you a way to hold one-on-one sessions and still get paid.

You will want to tell Ether exactly how you wish to be paid – consider now how much your time is worth.

Set your price, what will it be $5? $100? Then set whether you are paid this amount per call, per minute or per hour.

When you sign up to Ether you will receive a unique 8-digit phone number that can be forwarded to the phone line of your choice. If you have a blog or website you can get an Ether button that lets your customers know whether or not you are available to take calls.

For those of us with children or outside the home jobs, just set the hours when you want to take calls or simply turn your Ether phone number off with a click of a mouse.

If you happen to be a stay at home mom with babies or small children and the phone is not a viable option right now, Ether even uses email versus phone which allows you to sell any digital product you possess (i.e. audios, videos, interviews, etc).

The only way a customer can reach you is after they’ve prepaid your rate. So, the one thing with Ether that you can always count on is that you will only receive phone calls that are from paid customers!

To sign up to Ether takes 2 minutes and it’s free to start, no monthly fees, setup fees, or connection fees.

All Ether asks for is a 15% commission fee which you can recoup or include in the fee you specify.

How payment works is:

Ether collects the customers credit or debit card information.

Once the customer has paid, the call is transferred to you and your money is sent to you via direct deposit or check – you are paid at the end of each month.

Now you can sell advice over the phone, set your own schedule and pricing, and receive only paid phone calls!

While it will always pay off to freely give and share advice you also need to understand your worth. You never know just how much someone else is willing to pay you to better themselves in exchange for your expertise.

You can learn more about Ether - like how you can market your services and get paid right on their site. Be sure you come over to FMT after you’re done here and share your experience and earnings with us!

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Building confidence; why appearance is important

The amount of times I’ve sat in my office ready to interview a potential candid for a position only to be put off as soon as the person enters the room. Either it has been what they were wearing attire totally inappropriate for the interview, or their body language was the opposite of what they were saying or the hygiene was a total no no!It is said that we make judgements of one another in the first 30 seconds of meetingDo you know that how we look effects the way we feel? It’s true if you don’t look the part you won’t feel the part. That’s why looking good is so important, because quite simple we are what we feel!When you begin dressing like a CEO; long before you ever become a CEO you begin feeling like one! That’s simply because you started dressing like one. The people who say how we dress is unimportant, are people who are afraid of total achievement. Very few people would put their trust in someone who says they are one thing, but their attire the opposite. If appearance was unimportant as some would have us believe, companies like Mac Donald’s, Tesco, Virgin... the list is endless, wouldn’t spend millions on creating an image.If I were given a penny for the number of times people have mistaken me for an executive long before I became one, because of my appearance, I would have tidy sum today. Indeed appearance is not everything but it is a key ingredient to success.Dressing the part, even though you may not be the part (as yet) goes a long way in not just convincing others that you have what it takes to do what say you are able to do; but in giving you a sense of self belief.Just as we generally trust someone in uniform, people generally trust some one who has spent a bit of time and thought on their appearance. Looking about or after your appearance says something about you. It says you care, you’re willing and able, and you’re passionate about what it is you are going for. You’re not laid back or complacent, but you’re positive, committed and forward thinking.Now you may not agree with any of the above, but the fact still remains the better your appearance the better you feel, the better you feel the more able you are, the more able you are, the better your chance of success. Indeed it easy to feel fit for the task if you’re aptly dressed for the task. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying appearance solves all the challenges you will face in starting and running your own business but it sure will help you find the confidence, self esteem and authority to.Here are a few appearance tips:1. Always pop into the bathroom to have a quick look in the mirror before entering a meeting.2. Wear shirts and or ties, suits, waist coats, skirts and blouses or trousers, but never jeans to any business interaction3. If you wear clothes which are bright in colour ensure you wear another colour to temper the bright colour4. Wear clothes which are colour co-ordinated5. Create a look that’s smart but comfortable for you6. Women need to ensure they do not wear heels over 2 ½ - 3 inches high.7. Foot wear should always be need to be clean8. Hair should be clean, neat not too colourful. Long hair should be well groomed and or tied back/up.9. Wear clothes that fit and compliment your size; not too tight, not to large, not too revealing10. Dress appropriately for the occasion11. Limit the amount of jewellery to a maximum of two rings, a watch and a maximum of two chains.12. Go easy on the cologne or perfume, not everyone has the same taste as you.13. There should be nothing about your appearance; that deflects peoples attention whom you are and what you able to achieve i.e. intrusive facial hair, bad breathe & rotten teeth, body odour, excessive piercings etcDon't dress to kill... dress to succeed
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FACEBOOK MESSES UP RELATIONSHIPSComical look at how facebook can impact a relationship. very entertaining and contains some not so obvious truths how the open viewing communication system can effect people. For people considering marriage or already married should take heed to this skit. Relationships are effected by the new online communication. Love relationship can need some serious advice after viewing this.
FACEBOOK MESSES UP RELATIONSHIPS
Sign Up Here
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Ever Feel Like You Work Too Much?

Man I have been going a 100 mile per hour these past few weeks, business is picking up and I'm feeling the pains of lack of sleep from putting in late work hours. I think 9 to 5 people don't know how much work goes into being your own boss. Take my mother for instance she insists daily that I'm living the life of Riley (this was a sitcom from back in the day about a man who didn't have a job, stayed home everyday and lived a life of leisure). While I will admit that I have the perks of waking up when I want to, if I decide not to work on a particular day I can do that too. But what she and other 9 to 5'ers forgets and many is that as a business owner if you don't work you don't eat, and the stress of finding and maintaining customers, keeps me working from sun up to sun down. To be honest it's easier to go work a regular job then it is to run your own business, you're not responsible for finding new customers, making sure there's enough money to pay employees and suppliers, managing and nurturing the company so that it grows. Nah being a employee is easier, but I'm a risk taker, a thrill seeker, a creator I'm a business owner. I like to work hard and yea sometimes too much, but who cares I'll sleep when I'm dead.So to all my entrepreneurs out their keeping working, creating and stay away from the nay sayers!
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Hello!I am launching the Wisdom4Wives Pajama Party on the blogtalk radio network next month. I am searching for marriage counselors and mentors to serve as guests on my new internet radio show. If you currently serve in any of these capacities, I would love to discuss the possibility of your being among my esteemed guests.Beginning in April, my monthly hour-long show focuses on married women and women preparing for marriage will air each on the 3rd Thursday @ 9 p.m. If our professional paths have not crossed yet, I invite you to take a tour of my homes on the web @ http://www.venusmasontheus.net, I would also like to invite you to visit and join my online network, wisdom4wives.ning.comI look forward to hearing from you soon.
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How do I wear that trend...bold colors

They were hot this past summer and they’re still hot for 2009. Bold colors are still a great trend that is holding strong. While basic black will always be classic and a fashion favorite, bold colors are a great way to make your outfits pop. Now as someone that isn’t a big fan of patterns, I enjoy the bold color trend because it gives me the ability to some extra flair to my outfits without having to deal with patterns.I know, I know. I need to show patterns some love and I am working on it but in the meantime, I will rock those bold colors. I do realize, however, that there are some of you who have an almost totally black wardrobe. Or there are others of you who live life in different shades of tan and brown. It’s ok, you can do the bold color trend as well.Some easy and non intimidating ways to incorporate bold colors into your wardrobe is through jewelry, shoes, hair accessories and purses. If you are a lady that enjoys wearing lots of black, you can spice up that black outfit with a bold colored bracelet or a bold colored pair of shoes. If you are a lady that enjoys wearing tans, you can spice up that tan outfit with a burnt orange or red accessory of any kind.The bold color trend is not unlike the jewel tone trend. For more tips, check out this post I did on how to incorporate jewel tones depending on the most prevalent color palette in your wardrobe.How do I wear Jewel TonesYou can also refer to a post that I wrote about how to wear the bright color trend that was really popular over the summer. Honestly, bold colors and bright colors aren’t that different. The tone is usually what may separate the two. Bold colors can be bright or they can just be striking. For example, burnt orange is a bold color whereas candy apple red is a bright color. See the difference? Check out this post for more tips.How do I wear Bright ColorsAny questions? Visit my blog and send me a comment or a message. Remember, fashion should be fun.For more fashion tips and insight visit Clueless Fashionista
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26 Sales & 1 Website in 2 Weeks

People make resolutions for the new year. I never do. Instead I just try to do a little better each day. I had in mind what I wanted to do and I just started doing it. I wanted to build my own website and I have. I wanted this month to be better than last month and it already is.How do I do it? I continue to work towards my dreams each day, everyday.Never give up and give it your all!
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Why Ask Why?

In the great mental vacuum of psychobabble and matching talk shows, seems to be an endless string of people from failed relationships asking “why”. “Why didn’t I get my promised phone call?” “Why weren’t they where they said they were going to be?” “Why did they lie to me?” “Why did they cheat on me?” Why, why, why, why!!! These pointless inquiries are usually followed by some mention of “closure” as if having “closure” somehow changes the end results. My question is why ask why?The fact is it makes no difference. Why people do what they do rarely makes a difference. That they do what they do is what ultimately matters. Oh, I realize most people think that if the “reason” is good enough, it’s going to make everything OK somehow. But let’s face it; the reasons are usually a far cry from the near life and death scenarios we need them to be for our own rationalizations. Oftentimes, the “reasons” people give are just more lies. Which brings me back to my original question – why ask why?Ask this, am I hurt about the lie or action? Would you really feel better knowing that you didn’t get that call because she was just trying to spare your feelings or would you prefer that she simply didn’t make a promise she never intended to keep? Would you really feel better if you knew that he lied to you just to get laid or would you prefer that he was simply honest about wanting to get laid so you could be a real adult and decide for yourself if you wanted to participate? How does it hurt less or damage you less if you know you were cheated on just because it was possible? Is it better to be cheated on for meaningless sex or because of a relationship?My point is, whatever the “reason”, the end result is the same. Most of us have enough to do trying to replenish ourselves after a bad relationship. If you really want to spend that time productively, it would be much better to focus on what actually does matter – dealing with the reality of the situation you’re left with. Don’t deny; don’t distort; don’t try to medicate away the feelings – they suck, but they’re not fatal. People somehow manage to live through them all the time – no matter how horrible.Give yourself the opportunity to be surprised and proud of how strong you really are. See it for what it is; deal with it; and become a better person on the other side of the pain. That way, you can be truly useful and pay your wisdom forward to someone else suffering the same agony.Speaking the truth in love,Deidre
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There was a time when I used to be amazed at the number of seemingly grown men who were unwilling to be responsible for their own lives and for those of the families they made. Like everyone else, I’ve seen the increasing dismal statistics of fatherlessness in the American community. I would even go so far as to say there is pandemic manlessness as well. Men in our extended families are also becoming increasingly rare. What seems to be commonplace now are families with lots of women, young children, and old men. Young men are few and far between – and getting fewer all the time.Many women have rushed to blame the men for this. After all, ultimately it is their choice to leave; their choice to follow the examples, or the lack thereof, that preceded them. These are grown men and entirely accountable for their action and/or inaction – granted.However, I submit to you that many women – particularly many single mothers – are in the deepest denial about their contribution to this pandemic. In their zeal to raise good sons they have often neglected to raise responsible men who would actually be suitably productive husbands and fathers. So many single mothers, mothering from the own pains and issues, often deliberately or incidentally surrogate their children into “pseudo-spouses”. In the process, these children often receive severely mixed messages. On the one hand, they are constantly reminded of how much they resemble all the worst traits in their fathers. On the other, their mothers are quick to lay guilt trips on them if they dare to establish an independent identity or a different significant female relationship. These boys get angry and resentful, so the mother’s remedy is often to indulge them. They are rewarded with material things in return for their faithfulness to fulfilling their mother’s wishes.And so the cycle continues until the sex drive takes over. Now, these same young men start “mating and procreating” with no significant grasp of the level of responsibility that creates. However, thinking that they do, they often “try” to be there. That usually lasts until he gets overwhelmed and/or it’s not fun anymore. She wakes up one day without him; and grandma is raising babies once again. Why? Because we have spawned yet another generation of people who believe the universe exists solely to serve them. If it doesn’t, then there is clearly something wrong with the universe – it couldn’t possibly be something wrong with them. We’ve created yet another generation of perfect pimps and then we get mad at them when they behave accordingly. We often create the monsters that come back to kill us.How do we stop it? Here are three things we can do: 1) Put them out of their parents’ house by age 21 – sooner if they don’t go to college at 18; 2) stop letting them have sex in a home they don’t have a lease/mortgage on; and 3) stop letting them move their girlfriends into that same house.Brain surgery – it is not!Speaking the truth in love,Deidre
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Overcoming fear

Overcoming fear© 2008 Robin TrambleHave you ever been hindered by a fear of success (or a fear of failure)?Have you ever received news that seemed to immobilize you with fear?Fear tried to grip me when I was awakened at 2:30 in the morning by my daughter's voice with these words "mom, I can't see!." Well, she recovered and my daughter , my family and I overcame the fear, doubt and unbelief.Faith is the opposite of fear. Doubt and fear are the cousins.People everywhere are beginning to live in a state of fear. There is good fear and bad fear. Fear was also designed to warn us and protect us from certain things, however, for the most part people become in bondage to the negative fear.What is fear?Fear is an emotional response to threats and danger. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of pain.You can begin to overcome fear by following a few of the keys below.1) Recognize fear as the following acronym: False – Evidence – Appearing – RealUsually we fear the outcome of the unknown. The evidence that is presented beforeyou is not necessarily truth. So it is key to know that it is only the way it appears, it is an illusion so to speak. We have somehow allowed ourselves to believe that it is real.2) Identify the source of your fear: Where does your fear stem from? Do you find yourself becoming bound by fear when facing new tasks? Could this be a result of the negative responses you received when coming up in response to your failures? Do you become bound by fear when you approach certain types of relationships? Does fear try to grip you when in confrontational situations at work? Identifying the source of your fear plays a key role in overcoming your fears.3) Develop courage: Courage, also known as bravery, will, intrepidity, and fortitude, is the ability to confront fear, pain, risk/danger, uncertainty, or intimidation. You can see by the definition that courage is very important to develop when learning to overcome your fears. You cannot be passive when dealing with fear. You must confront it head on. You must do as the last key listed below andthat is to continue in the face of fear.4) Continue in the face of fear: You must acknowledge that Fear is a spirit.2 Timothy 5:7 states “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. When you realize that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind, you can continue in the face of fear. You must face it head on.Be empowered through your union with Father God, embrace the power that it ours. Put on love and receive a sound mind. This will help you to counteract fear and continue.5) Build your confidence: A lack of confidence only fuels the spirit of fear. Learn strategies for building your confidence. The more confident you are the more you will be able to face fear head on and you can also begin to embrace courage.Fear will immobilize us, steal our destiny, health and relationships. Fear empowers us to FAIL. Faith is just the opposite. Live by faith and begin to enjoy a life of freedom, freedom from a lifestyle of fear.Utilize the above keys to overcoming your fears. Don’t read them, but select one to focus on and write it down. Think about some actions you can take to bring life to the key chosen. Write them down and at weeks end update with your progress.These are just a few suggested keys to overcoming your fears.Visit here to access a free resource to aid in your effort in overcoming fear.http://www.robintramble.com/Teleseminarschedule.htmlFree eBook 15 POWERFUL tips towards boosting self esteem and confidenceWhat’s holding you back from achieving all you desire?How would you like to see some of your dreams come true in under a year?Robin Tramble is your empowering, mentoring, Trainer/Coach. Get connected todayand realize dreams come true in under a year.
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Pros And Cons Of Sex Before Marriage

What To Do, What To Do?This question won't be going anywhere any time soon. As long as there are people with rushing hormones, this is going to be an issue. Many will blame the animal in us (particularly men - sorry fellas- smile); others will blame our histories; still others will create their own philosophies.However, there are some things I have noticed that I don't see anyone else discussing. For example, anatomically speaking, all the reasons that sex is good for marriage make it bad before marriage. Research has shown that during the sexual process, hormones are released into our brains that are designed specifically to facilitate emotional bonding. Yes, emotional bonding does have a significant chemical component. If, in fact, this is true - it would go a long way toward explaining why it is ofen so much more difficult to break up with someone we've been sexual with. Even if we believe we didn't particularly enjoy the experience, the associated hormones tend to leave a lasting psychological imprint, if you will, that tends toward bonding with the object of the sexual connection. Unfortunately, this can happen in positive as well as negative ways.Another significant consideration is the fact that the human brain functions much differently under the influence of infatuation/sexual arousal than it does otherwise. Science has shown that areas of the brain mostly responsible for logic and rational judgment are largely short-changed of blood flow under the influence of infatuation/sexual arousal. I heard a saying once - when you're on your back, you lose your mind. There is scientific basis for the truth of this saying. Essentially, that means that you are literally incapable of comprehensive rational thought during sexual arousal. The creative and emotional brain centers, however, are sent into overdrive. On average, it takes about 90 days for this phenomenon to subside to the point of returning brain function and blood flow to normal levels.While sex before marriage may give you insight into your partner's sexual performance habits and/or preferences, it will also tend to set you up to emotionally make connections that are virtually guaranteed to fail. The more sex you have; the more connected you become to your partner and/or the act of sex itself; the less rational and more emotional you become - anatomically. Most people have little knowledge or understanding of their own biochemistry with regard to this issue. Unfortunately, ignorance does nothing to change the dynamics and you will live with the consequences whether you're aware of them or not.That's a major reason why so many new relationships typically don't make it past 90 days; why people look decidedly different to you after the orgasms are over than they did before; why so many people believe they "can't help" who they "love", etc. My advice to adults is to use your dating experiences as information gathering missions. Don't get too emotionally attached before 90 days have passed and make sure that you can comfortably walk away at any time. I have more suggestions, but that's another blog. :-)One of the easiest and best ways to avoid painful and unfulfilling emotional attachments is to avoid sex until after marriage. By then, you should have a good and objective view of the kind of mate your partner would make and you can make a much more rational decision about whether or not to continue to marriage. If you don't, chances increase exponentially that you will stay in a bad relationship far longer than you need to and you'll tolerate conditions that sap your soul for no other reason than the sexual connection.Speaking the truth in love,Deidre
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Why Do So Many Men Like Porn?

Lessons For WomenWomen have wondered forever what it is about porn that mesmerizes so many men. Some of us have tried to participate with our partners only to find ourselves feeling like Hell afterwards. Others of us have found ways to make it part of our sexual lexicon with mixed results.Let's face it. Outside of the industry, it is difficult at best for a couple to comfortably fit porn into their relationship. Men, on the other hand, generally have no problem keeping as part of their lives for their entire lives - whether they hide it or not. It is a very popular source of entertainment, sexual gratification, and oftentimes - a coping mechanism.The reasons men like it are as varied as the men who like it. However, there is one thing I discovered in my own research that is a recurring theme. Men thoroughly enjoy the attitudes of the women involved. The women are generally average looking. Most times, they are not extraordinarily beautiful the way many of us imagine. However, they do appear to thoroughly enjoy sex for the sake of sex. They act like they enjoy everything about the sexual experience.This is a valuable insight that women would do well to find a way to incorporate into their real life encounters. Men don't need you to be a sexual pretzel. They don't need tricks out of the ordinary to be satisfied. What they do need is to feel desired - sexually and totally. Men crave approval and acceptance at least as much as women do. They have different ways of showing it, but it's true.Bottom line - men want us to want them as much as they want us. They want us to surrender ourselves to the ecstasy they create for us. They don't want us to be controlled and conservative. They want us uninhibited and free (without a salary or a script)!!!!Here's what I suggest - enthusiasm! Show it. Don't hide it. Don't pretend. Be creative and inventive without violating your sensibilities. You'll probably surprise yourself with the things you come up with. Experiment, play, enjoy. But here's one thing you should never do - never do anything that you both can't agree on. Force and coercion should have no place in intimate exchanges. Other than that, be open (no pun intended - smile) and leave no doubt in your man's mind that you are excited about sharing yourself with him. You won't regret it.Speaking the truth in love,Deidre
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