Lost (4)

From the Widow of A Soldier...

A Poem By Randa Manning-Johnson

 

Left Behind in disbelief and in a state of confusion.

This couldn't be happening.  It's just all an illusion.

We just talked, exchanged emails, you were coming home soon.

Never imagined in a box, draped with a flag, under the cover of the moon.

Can't help but wonder if you suffered...was it quick?  I hope you felt no pain.

While still trying to hold it together, in hopes of not going insane.

The kids still need me, so it's required that we go on.

But there's no way to erase the pain of a loved one that has passed on.

Now living second to second, when before day by day.

Trying to smile through the tears in a room filled with grey.

But I can take pride in the memories that seventeen years can bring,

And Thank God for the Gift of You, our Children and the Honor of wearing Your Ring.

It's been tough adjusting to a New Life for which I had no plans.

But I can honestly say that with God, I am in good hands.

The kids are doing well, God protects them that way.

But for me it's a little different...This was a huge price to pay.

Although this could be considered a horrible situation.

I can easily find the good because of my Biblical Foundation.

And one thing I can Always hold Dear to My Heart,

Is The Fact that "WE DID IT BOO....TIL DEATH DO US PART"

 

Dedicated to my husband Stacy O. Johnson, First Class Petty Officer USN, who died during his final deployment to the middle East.  Ten days after his birthday and two months before his scheduled return home.

 

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MR. JOHNSON

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Black Women Adjusting to Job Loss

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One can start adjusting to unemployment by using a little psychology. Many studies have been done on how to deal with loss. Psychologists have found that people often have an easier time dealing with loss if they know what feelings they might experience during the "grieving process." Grief doesn't usually overwhelm us all at once; it usually is experienced in stages. The stages of loss or grief may include:


1. Denial - You cannot believe that the loss is true.


2. Anger - You blame those who you think might be responsible -- including yourself.


3. Bargaining - You try to "strike a deal" ( with a Higher Authority): "If you help me get a job, I promise never to be late to work again.


4. Depression - You realize the reality of the loss


5. Acceptance - You come to terms with the loss and get the energy and desire to move beyond it. The "acceptance"stage is the best place to be when starting a job search, but you might not have the luxury of waiting until you get to this point before beginning your search.

It is helpful to monitor you reactions and control any adverse emotions. Although you may well experience the stages of grief outlined above, they may not necessarily be in the order mentioned. If you experience strong negative emotions during these stages, you may need a break from your job search until you reach the acceptance stage. Most people can function in the earlier stages, as long as they remain aware of their feelings and are able to Keep these emotions from affecting their activities. For example, if you're still in your "angry" stage, it's important to understand that expressing your anger during a job interview could be self-defeating. Following are some tips to keep in mind during the job search process to keep yourself emotionally healthy and motivated to look for work.

Clarence Coggins
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