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I hear this question so often from women who are feeling exhausted, neglected, and overwhelmed in their romantic relationships. They are struggling with the decision to stay or leave a relationship they feel has lost its appeal. They are unhappy and truly have no idea what their next step should be.

It is very sad because, my married ones or clients in long-term relationships are wondering if they will ever feel love again and my single clients (usually newly single) wonder if they will ever find love again. (FYI - my typical client is 40 to 48 years old women, with children in their teens to early 20's, and she is or has been in a long-term relationship that has lasted 10 years or longer.)

Does this sound like your current situation? If so, tell me:

• Do you long for days gone by when you and your beloved were still happy and deeply in love with each other?
• When was the last time your beloved treated you with adoration and affection?
• Are arguments becoming the main style of communication between the two of you?

Well, if you are at your “wits” end about what to do next in your relationship and are thinking… “Should I stay or should I leave?” I want you to stop for a moment and think very carefully about what I am about to share with you; being single will not solve the communication and intimacy issues you are experiencing. It may offer some temporary relief. But, the personal underlying communication issues that caused the disconnect will still remain. Even if you move on to another relationship.

And if you are single and reading this article, I want you to think back to your last relationship and think about how the lack of communication and previous questions played out in your last meaningful relationship. Did they have something to do with why you left?

As a relationship solutions coach, I talk to many frustrated women. Especially ladies who are suffering from regrets about past decisions they made in the process of maturing into the woman they are today. It is tough to look back over your life and realize you may not have fulfilled some or any of the goals you set for yourself as a younger woman.

You may have made a multitude of decisions that now feel like sacrifices for your children and significant other (husband or long-term boyfriend). And now, you may be working on life improvements and want to remove yourself from what feels like a life-draining situation. I have noticed so many women, who in the process of working on self-improvement, want to discard their man.

I personally think this is unfair unless, you have a man who truly does mistreat you.

For example:

• He is abusive
• An active addict or alcoholic whose behavior is destructive
• Or has other qualities that can potentially harm you; emotionally, mentally, physically, and/or spiritually.

If this is true then, I recommend you seek help and remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible. You cannot help someone who is unwilling to help themselves. But, if you are basically using your man as a scapegoat for all the unexpressed unhappiness you are currently feeling in your life then, I want you to carefully read what I am about to say..

Far too many women have left a truly wonderful man and solid loving relationship because, her uncommunicated needs were going unmet and she did not truly understand how to invite her man back into her life to assist her.  Why, because, she had emotionally disconnected from him and in her frustration started blaming him for being the cause of her dissatisfaction.

This is tragic because, most men do want to be there for the woman they love, but have no idea how to reach her once her walls have gone up and she starts to treat him like a nonessential part of her life.

If this sounds like you then, please understand that things may not be as hopeless as they seem. I would enjoy talking to you in greater detail and show you some ways you can go from “No Love to True Love” once again. Join me for a very special teleconference on: Thursday 4/18/2013 from 6:00 to 7:30p EDT called “No Love to True Love” – Fall in Love All Over Again. Go to: www.redtentwisdom.com and click on the teleseminar page to register and receive call in information.

Or if you are ready for some immediate solutions then, go to: www.redtentwisdom.com and sign up for your 20 minute complimentary Relationship Solutions Session.

Either way I am looking forward to sharing with you some useful information that may turn your relationship in a positive direction or start your next relationship with more confidence. 

Have a wonderful day and I am sending you much love and wishing you unlimited joy,

Cyndi Harris, HP

Relationship Solutions Coach; Man Whisperer “Intimacy Creation Savant”

www.redtentwisdom.com

Men… delightful, scrumptious, and wonderful men; I love men. I think they are amazing and interesting. I love the way they look, sound, and process life. But, if loving a man has ever left you feeling confused and frustrated. You are not alone. I admit, men can be some of the most mysterious “creatures” at times. We love them, long for them, and at times want to shake them until some type of emotional response occurs. What is a woman to do? 

Well, if you are interested in cracking a man’s love code and learning how to lovingly and peacefully coexist. I have a few simple tips that will point you in the right direction. But first, I have a couple of questions for you. Then, I am will offer you a few suggestions that can help you get closer to almost any man. 

The questions: 

1. Do you like men? Not only in a romantic sense, but overall. 

2. Do you respect men? 

Yes, I know these questions are unusual, but I have a very specific reason for asking them. If you want to get inside the mind of a man, you must first understand what is important to him. And yes ladies, sex is important. Goodness ladies, you have such a one-track mind. Granted, it is a delightful “track”. But, a wise woman knows there is more to a man’s needs than simply sex. Even if at times that seems to be all he wants. If you really want to get close to a man and have him open up to you; he must know that you like and respect him. Knowing this little secret can almost instantly change the dynamics of your relationships with men.

Genuinely liking and respecting a man is important in the beginning of a relationship and beyond, if you want a man to see you as something more than a sex object then, you must let him know you have a sincere interest in him as a man; show him that you think he is fascinating and that you admire him. 

Sounds a bit old-fashioned, right? Maybe, but we put so much pressure on ourselves to appear a certain way when we are with men or get caught up in trying to beat men at their own “game”. We can easily forget to relax and simply get to know a man person to person. 

So, if you want the inside scoop to better relationships with men here are a few starter tips whether you are just meeting a man or have known him for sometime. If you want your man or men to enjoy your company and develop better communication with them; go back to basics find out:

• What are his interests? (Even if you think you know; ask anyway. He may have changed interests or has learned something new about an old one he would love to share with you.)

• Who does he admire and why? (This is a big one. It will offer valuable insight into the type of man he is striving to be. Listen carefully to his answers and do some research of your own about the person or people he mentions, This is a great way to gather information for a future conversation.) 

• What are his ambitions? (Listen with an open-mind, even if you think his ambitions are impossible or unrealistic. They are his dreams; be supportive.) 

Understanding how to ask good questions is a talent that is underestimated. When you show a real interest in a man as a person; a man will find you fascinating as well. And here's the sweet part; when you follow the above suggestions, a man will find himself thinking about you and he will find a reason; a deep need to spend more time with you. Because, for him, he will have found a woman who is charming, easy to talk to, and whose company he enjoys. This is a win/win situation for both of you.

Does this sound too simple? Well, if you want to become a man magnet whose beauty, intelligence, and sensuality makes you unforgettable. Give it a try:

• Think about the reasons you truly like men.
• Think of ways you can show a man true respect
• Then, think of some basic questions you can ask (or use the ones provided in this article), and watch what happens. 

I can guarantee you will notice a change in the way men respond to you and how you respond to them. It will become easier and you will be able to pick and choose the type of men you invite into your life. Whether that is a new love interest, a new friend, or reigniting the romance between you and your current man; you now have taken the first steps to cracking a man’s love code. Enjoy and we will talk again soon.

Sending you much love and unlimited joy, 

Cyndi Harris, HP (Life and Relationship Transformation Coach) 

Author of the forthcoming book; “The Official Handbook to Becoming Irresistible – Learn How to be a Woman Who Is Positively Unforgettable.” 

www.undeniablyirresistible.com or www.redtentwisdom.com

In a recent conversation with a friend who is CEO of a construction company, I explained how doing business with the government could potentially take her business to the next level. She shared her frustration at responding to RFP (request for proposal). She had bid on many over the years and each time, they were awarded to the same male owned businesses! She then blurted, “If only I could think like a man… I could have won some of those contracts!”

Hmmm, is she right? Do women need to imitate men to be more competitive in business? Should a woman ‘think like a man’ to be more successful in business? Maybe OR maybe not!

Can an Assertive Woman Get What She Wants?

While it is acceptable for men to be assertive; on the other hand, women who go after what they want without apologizing along the way are viewed as aggressive or worse, a witch (drop the ‘w’ and add ‘b’). So, how can women use this to their advantage?

Women can:

• Be Firm: whether it’s a handshake or the price of your services! We’ve all done it before; lowered the price of our products or services for the sake of closing the deal or meeting the needs of a potential client. Avoid this behavior! By doing so compromise your expertise and integrity.

• Speak up: let your voice be heard. ‘Say what you mean… and mean what you say!’ Stand firm in your beliefs! When engaged in a discussion, ensure that others understand your message and are able to communicate any questions or concerns as appropriate.

• Play the Part. It is imperative that you look the part of a successful and self-assured entrepreneur. Whether meeting with a potential client or business partner, attending networking event or giving a speech, IMAGE is EVERYTHING! Give a firm handshake, establish eye contact and engage others.
  

Afraid to Take a ‘Chance?’ Odds of Winning… 50/50!

Men are encouraged to take chances. The unknowndoesn’t scare them as it’s a part of doing business. Most women shy away from situations that are uncomfortable or daring.

To take advantage of this strength, it is crucial for women to evaluate, manage and take risk in business. Say you are faced with a challenge and pondering if it is worth taking a chance. Ask yourself:

1. What is the worst thing that could happen if things went amiss?
2. If it happened, how would you handle it?
3. What positive things could you learn from this situation, regardless of the conclusion?

Life is full of chances! By embracing challenges and obstacles head on, lessons learned from them is well worth it!

Men vs Women in Networking… Which Gender is More Effective?

Men are very skilled at networking. They take full advantage on the golf course, during happy hours and at other informal settings. They cut to the chase and go from introduction to deal.

Women believe in the importance of ‘know, like and trust’which eventually cultivate into business. They develop great relationships but don’t take advantage of their interpersonal or social strengths.

Statistics show that 70% of new business is generated from referrals from networking events. In a recent article, Nicole Williams, author of "Girl on Top: Your Guide to Turning Dating Rules into Career Success,” says, “Women tend to equate networking with "schmoozing" or handing out business cards. In reality, networking is about building relationships before you actually need them."

While women have different strengths and communication styles than men, there are a few simple tips to help in getting the most BANGout of a networking event.

• Create a Mini Action Plan for Every Event. When attending an event, it behooves you to know who will be there. Take time to research the purpose of the event, attendees, presenters, vendors and businesses. Then you can decide who you want to connect with. Imagine meeting a potential client and acknowledge a recent award they received.

• Practice your Pitch. You will meet a lot of people and have the opportunity of introducing yourself and business. Make sure your message is clear and concise. Fine tune your elevator pitch to make the most of your conversation.
  

• Follow Up. Within the next week, make sure you follow up with e-mails, phone calls or a simple letter. The key is to connect with potential people that can be beneficial to your company. For most women, this is the easy part as they tend to be thorough with follow-up, delivery of promised information, or promptly scheduling of meetings.

In conclusion, it’s apparent that women and men speak different languages. Neither gender is all right or all wrong. So, it is not necessary for them to ‘Think like a man,’ rather; learn from what they are doing right!

About Author: Sylvia Browder is a small business consultant, trainer and author. She is founder of National Association Women on the Rise, a virtual community for aspiring and established women entrepreneurs. She has served as an online volunteer SCORE counselor since 2004. For FREE weekly articles go to Sylvia Browder’s Blog for Women Entrepreneurs, www.sylviabrowder.com. She can be contacted at info@sylviabrowder.com.

Throughout his-story and even up until this day there appears to be a concentrated effort to create opposition between the African man and the African wombman.  Think about it.  Slavery was the beginning.  Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to have your family taken from you?  Well this was done on a global scale for hundreds of years to African people and we have been affected.  Many will say that we need to get over it or they would like to pretend as if it does not matter in this day in time, but the reality is remnants of what we went through lingers in the air.  In addition when welfare was implemented the objective was for the African wombman to say fare well to the African man.  The attitude of not needing a man was birthed.  The African man learned how to disrespect the African  wombman from the slave master with words like whenches, bitches and whores...and this still goes on to this day.  The disrespect directed at the African wombman and the lack of respect given to the African man is an issue that reveals itself on so many different levels and I don't know about you, but I'm tired of it. In our ancient culture the male and female were both important because they created balance.   Instead of us complaining and directing our anger and frustration towards one another I think it's imperative that we first know we did not just wake up one day and decide to be in the state that we are in....some things happened to us. Secondly, we all need to work to make it better for the future of our people.  I created this T-Shirt to help change the negative vibes between some of us because words have power.  If you would like to be a part of  change purchase your T-Shirt now at SoulSeed Tees.     

A.Wilson 

EXCITING BOOK; Woman!! Do You Want A Good Man?

Fort Worth,Texas,October 13,2010,Author,Donald Willis is officially announcing his published book,Woman!! Do You want A Good Man? This bookis about relationships betweem African American men and African American women. This book is geared more toward the African American women's needs and desires,as oppossed to what the African American male is searching for. It is not written out of bitterness,or anger,but out of Love for black men and women. The book includes topics such as: What is a good man?,Never judge people by appearance,Mental Disorders & the black woman,Dating,Black woman,god is with you,and many more topics

This book is unique in that it only 64 pages in length,and the author gives advice to African American women who are in search of Mr.Right.T he author actually enterviewed approx.50 employed women while writing this book. This book can be ordered by sending a $17.95 money order to: Donald Willis,POBOX 201403,Arlington,Texas 76006. For more information,contact

Donald Willis at 682-203-8234 10am-11pm

WomanDoYouWantAGoodMan@yahoo.com

Ok so I just wanted to write a blog to uplift and encourage everyone out there. As women (and men) we all deal with daily struggles and sometimes things may seem a little overwhelmming and overbearing for us to handle. Some of us have children, husbands (wives for the men reading this), jobs, pets, social lives, part time jobs, etc. the list can go on and on...all of these aspects of our lives can bring unneccessary stress or an abundance of JOY. Which one occurs stress or JOY depends on what you allow to happen in your life.

Speaking only to the women now, as women we all have an inner strength that allows us to overcome any obstacle that may cross our path. That inner strength also gives us the remarkable power and ability to by pass foolishness, yet sometimes we get caught up in foolishness and negate our ability to be greater than our circumstances. The type of foolishness I'm referring to is things that we all know don't warrant a second of our time but we still spend our precious energy, time, and efforts focusing on things that will not bring any multiplication, power, strength, or JOY to our lives.

So here's what I say, I say let's take time to think about what really matters to us, what is really important, what will help us live a joyful and fulfilled life. Once we do that let's collectively decide to focus on the things in our lives that we know will help us move forward and not backward. Part of doing this will allow all of us to see what's really important in life and what we need to focus on to move forward in our life journey.

EXERCISE

As an exercise I think that everyone men and women alike should write down the things that they know are not positive and do not bring any satisfaction or joy to them. Once that list is written out don't even look at it anymore, crumple it up and set it asside. Then write a list of all the things you want to accomplish, achieve, aspire toward in life read it out loud, make copies of it and put it up all over the house in places you will always be able to look at it, reflect on it, and expound on it. Take the other list that you crumpled up that has all of the negative things and burn it up. That's right I said burn it up, but be sure to do it in a safe place that will not cause a harmful fire to occur in your home (practice safety first). Once the negative list is burned up forget about everything you wrote on that list that doesn't bring any joy to your life and focus on the positive list you created.

CHALLENGE

I'd like to present a challenge to everyone to focus on your list of positive things for the entire week. Then post a response of what happened as a result of having a positive attitude and outlook on life.

Be Blessed in all you do and become a blessing to others!

Have a great and prosperous day!

~Tamishia Clayborn~

http://fatburnfurnace2010.weebly.com